How the hell did this happen? Or should that now be hay?

by Lucky424

I just want some f[buy some apples]g apples!!!

Judging by the sun, I awoke late the next morning, extremely hungry. There was a limit as to how many muffins I could eat, and even then it didn't dull my cravings, mainly for bacon. Standing up, I grabbed the M4 and made way outside, looking for something that had flesh on it. I didn't have to look far, as there were plenty of rabbits bouncing around. Strangely, none of them seemed bothered by me, so I chambered a round and waited. Just as one looked up to check it's surroundings, I sighted on its head and clicked the safety off, to which it turned its head towards the sound.

“Sorry little buddy, but I got to eat, and I need protein.” I fired the rifle and the result was instantaneous. Birds flew out of the trees, and the rabbits scattered, except for my target. There was no brain left to tell it to run. Heading back inside with some wood, I started a fire in the old throne room. For a pan, I had pulled off one of the engines smaller panels, and used some brackets to make a stand. Thinking that I'd need to get stronger, I started to do some push ups and sit ups whilst my breakfast cooked.

After eating, I looked around at my shelter, seeing if I could do anything to improve it. There were plenty of bricks around, so I started to lay the foundations of a wall in one of the corners. I need to some how make it sturdy, and without any cement I was unsure what to do....until I had a flash of memory from my childhood. Hundreds of individual pieces lay at my feet, and with no instructions, I began to piece them together. For added strength, I mad the walls twice as thick, and not only overlapped them lengthways, but inwards as well. Three hours later, and I had a table made out of Lego that my mother could sit on and it wouldn't break. Not bad for a seven year old!

Realising what I needed to do, I looked for fallen walls, ceilings, or anything that would suffice. After a few hours of gathering supplies, I took a break to eat some muffins and plan my building work. Once I was ready, I placed a brick along a wall eight foot away from a corner, and did the same on the other wall from the corner. Once they were in place, I started to lay the first line, but only to see where they met. Once that was done, I pulled some away and left a two foot gap for an entrance, and began building the wall.

By the time I was hungry again, I had a four foot high, two foot wide wall, and still had plenty of bricks left over. Sure, if something strong enough was to hit it, it would be over in a matter of seconds, but I had the distinct feeling that I was the first thing to live in here by choice for a long time. Stuffing a couple more muffins, I realised I need some fruit in my diet, and there was a small farm just past the woods that held the perfect solution. And the sun had just started going down.

By the time I reached my observation post (tree), the night sky was again shining brightly. I followed the tree line around the town and came across a white picket fence. Following along, the was a gap with a simple arch covering it. Hanging from the arch was a wooden plank with “Sweet Apple Acres” on it. Having found my destination, I entered and instead of making for the trees, I headed towards the barn, and the apple cellar.

Cracking open the door, I went to make my way down the steps, but I was met by a growling from the bottom. Looking down, stood there with her gave fixed on me, was Winona, which meant that somewhere around here was....

“What in tarnation are you growlin' at now girl?” I could hear her voice getting closer to the bottom of the stairway. “Nopony's comin' round this la......” As she trailed off, her eyes met mine and they went wide with fear before a colossal shout tore from her lungs.

"MACINTOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Panicking, I turned and ran for the exit just a the crimson farm pony darted out of the house and gave chase. I made it to the exit and hit the sign as I ran through. It had the desired effect and hit Mac square between the eyes, dazing him a little as he continued the chase, before finally flopping over. I hit the tree line and turned to see what had happened to my pursuer.

Applejack and Applebloom were standing next to him as he ran on his side not making any progress before jumping up and running in to the fence causing him to look round reminding me of a video I had laughed at a few times.

“Applebloom, get Big Mac back inside, and put an ice pack on 'is head.”

“Where you goin', sis?”

“Ah'm gonn get Twilight, see if she can find a way to put shield up so that creature can't got on t' the farm.”

I watched as Applebloom guided Mac back to the house and Applejack ran in to town. Making my way back along the tree line, I made it to where I could see the front door of the library just as Twilight and Spike ran out carrying a load of books. I checked my weapon to make sure the sensors were on, having this time deciding to bring the L85, due to its small design. Once satisfied they were working, I placed my GSR on and turned on the HUD suite. Those eggheads had done a really good job. It must have had some sort of low light filter in it as well, because I could make things out in the darkest of shadows. Hitting the sync button on both devices, I was rewarded both with text scrolling across my vision and a computer voice speaking in to my ear.

I wondered for a brief moment if this had a radio system in it. Surely if they had put the HUD in, they would have thought about that too. I could only think of one way to test my theory out. “Tutorial Program, where have I heard that before?” A quick vision played across my eyes. "....No, just load up the weapon system."

“Yes, I would like to sync my other weapon.”

I did as it asked.

“Yes.”

Moving out of the alley sounded like a bad idea, but there was nobody around at this time of night. Once I was there, I stood as still as possible. “In position.”

“They put a GPS system in this as well? Huh, so much for that 'it's all science fiction' bullshit. No, don't run diagnosis, we're not in Kansas any more.”

“Sorry GLaDOS, we are no longer on Earth. We are no longer in Sol. I don't even know if we are in the same dimension as home.”

“I don't have any new co-ordinates. Do you have mapping software?” I asked, hoping that this machine was actually what all the rumours flying around were about. All we had heard was that there was a new way to map non-hostile places without wasting fuel, or waiting for a satellite to be overhead.

“Yes, and have where I am now stood as zero-zero.”

“No, just shut down, or go in to sleep mode, whatever it is you do when not needed.” There was a beep in my ear and the text disappeared, leaving me three things on display. A general point of aim, although unlike video games where it stayed in the centre, this moved with the rifle. If I pointed it away from my vision, the edge would tint red to show me what direction the barrel was pointed in. There was the motion tracker, with a range of thirty metres, and it had even mapped out the structures so I knew how far the walls were. The last thing on display was the battery meter, which was fully charged.

Time to start my research, and of course, a bit more trolling.

“Applejack, can you describe it to me?”

“Sure Twi. It was about six foot tall, and had quite a slim build. Ah'd said he was not one of the strongest of 'is kind. He jus' didn't seem to have the build. An' he was holding a different weapon this time. It looked like the first, but it had something else on top.”

“What did it do when you saw it?”

“He jus' stood there looking at me. Ah've never been so frightened in all my life Twi, that's when Ah shouted for Big Mac.”

“And that's when the creature ran off?”

“Yeah, by time I had made it t' the top o' the stairs, Mac was all ready heading out the gate, but the creature had hit our sign, which came back and hit Mac in the face, dazing 'im a little.”

“So, not only is it intelligent, it knows what or who to pick fight with. I'm getting the feeling that it has been here much longer then we thought, as when it jumped out of the hospital the other day, it seemed to be worried when it spotted the guards.”

“You think it thinks they were there for him?”

“It's a possibility, and one we can't rule out yet. The next batch of guards should be arriving on the next train, and they are due in around thirty minutes. I'll go meet them and bring a couple back here for the night. Did I tell you about last night?”

“No, Ah don't think ya did. What happened?”

“I.......think our friend paid a visit. When we got back from the meteor shower, I turned on the lights and I thought it was there. I wouldn't be surprised if you heard my scream. Anyway, that outfit we had taken had been placed across some poles to make it look like something was in there. There was also a mask like the one we discovered on top. And my research diary had extra writing in it. I didn't recognise the symbols, but the scary part is I could read it!! After checking the basement, the mask we had recovered was gone. I think it left the other one in its place.”

“Well, Twi, you were the one that said it was intelligent. Ah think it played a prank on you!”

“Yes, well it wasn't very funny. My reaction got the better of me. The builders are coming to fix the hole in the morning.”

Slamming the book down in frustration, I let out a sigh, I couldn't find anything towards inter-dimensional/universal portals and such. The book that had frustrated me was supposed to list every subject covered in the library, and it didn't help. Giving up on that line of thought, I reopened the book and decided to see what they knew of humans. I couldn't find anything under 'h' that I recognised, and closed the book again. I know what you're all thinking, “How can he read and understand them?”, I don't know. Just like I know that this book is not written in any language I know, but I can read it perfectly.

And it's freaking me out. Just where did that hole in the wall come from?

Flipping to 's', I had a bit more luck. 'Simian'- see Extinct Creatures volume 17.

“Extinct Creatures, huh? Let's see, Pinkie found the book on the Elements under 'e', so is there some sort of system here?” Getting up, I started at the nearest shelf to the right of the main door. I spotted a label on one shelf and checked it, seeing the letter 'b' on it. Moving to the right, I kept checking until I came across 'e'. A quick search of the shelves revealed the book I was after, and I cracked it open, looking through the contents.

“Simians can be defined in two ways. 'Apes', which have no tail, and 'Monkeys' which do have tails.” Okay, so they know about monkeys and apes, what else. “Scientists believe that another species evolved form them, as evidenced by the similar, and at the same time, different skeletons they have found. Whilst nearly identical to the simian creatures, they showed that what ever this creature was, it walked tall, and not hunched over like the other races. It has not been confirmed, but the scientists have dubbed it 'Simian-Erectus'.”

“Looks like I have my connection. These 'Simian-Erectus' sound like 'Homo-Erectus'. I think I'll leave a little note for my little friend.” Picking up the book I had wrote in the night before, I opened it to the last page I had seen. It had hastily scrawled writing next to my neat passage. “Looks like she found my note! Wonder what she put? 'The first passage holds some form of religious significance. I am not sure how, and I would love to ask it....him about it.' Heh, maybe later. What did you put for the second passage? 'The second passage is a bit more confusing. It sounds like he was full of life and then something bad happened, and now he knows his fate. To know the moment of ones death must be a blessing and a curse at the same time.' Oh Miss Sparkle, you have no idea how wrong you are!!!”

Picking up the quill again, I drew a flow charts of a sort. On the left I put 'Your world: Simians-Simian-Erectus-?' On the right was 'My world: Simians-Some other species-Homo-Erectus-Some more Species-Homo-Saipiens=ME!'

And at the bottom I put another well known reference in the centre.

Looking around with an evil grin, I spotted my wonderful creation pushed to one side. Grabbing more string from the drawer, I rigged it so that when the door opened, inwards or outwards, my friend would drop down in front of the unsuspecting pony.......upside down. If it weren't for the fact it would start a fire, I'd have put two candles behind the masks for eyes.

Leaving the library, I was glad the new software was working, Using the back entrance as not to ruin my 'surprise', I immediately had several large red blips appear on the motion tracker. Getting my rifle ready, I poked my head out from behind the bins and froze. There was around forty guardsponies stood in the road talking. It was then that Twilight ran in to town and up to the one with the most feathers in his helmet.

“Lieutenant.....sorry I don't know your name yet, but the creature has been sighted over by Sweet Apple Acres. I know you've just arrived, but could you send a couple of guards over there or the night?”

A quick movement of his head and four guards took off in the direction of the farm. “Thank you. Now, my name is Twilight Sparkle, please allow to show you where you'll be staying whilst in Ponyville.”

I waited for them to disperse, half following Twilight, and the other half towards the train station. I waited till my motion sensor showed all clear and darted for the alley. Using my new tech, I managed to get out of town using the main roads and hiding from the patrols with ease.

I couldn't believe it. Sending the guards over there just because I wanted one fucking apple!!! I got my revenge on Twilight however, when she opened the door to the library.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

One image came to mind.