I’ve always dreamed of what can be, rather than what is.
When I was young, I was never satisfied with what I saw. There was a stark difference between the real world and the world that I could see. The real world, in all its beauty, could never match up to the world I could envision inside my head. I would imagine amazing seas, flowing with the bleeding red of the sunset. I would think of mountains not as stoic giants, but soil that had risen up of its own accord, and that kept reaching for the unreachable heavens.
More than that, I could see the infinite ways it could become better. And all just with the simplest things. I see the threads that flow through this world, and I laugh at just how easy it is to intertwine them with the utopia that I saw.
I guess that was always the difference between me and others. They were more pragmatic; they never chose to push the boundaries of our world as they knew it. They said it was already perfect.
I refused to believe that. Instead, I chose to push the limits of reality. I could see the endless possibilities that the world had in store, and I wanted to give it every chance I could to see it grow and flourish. I wanted the world to become a paradise for everypony, and I understood how to do it.
Take, for example, romance. Everypony thinks it’s so hard to find your special somepony...when really, all you need is a simple nudge. A bit of...orderly chaos.
I admit that I may not have been successful. Apparently, my dreams of paradise don’t fit with what others think of as paradise. I was–am–convinced, however, that my way was good, that everypony would come around to it. Surely they would see the utility and sheer beauty of my improvements before long.
There is a deep desire to please ingrained in my very being. I am, despite what everypony else says, mortal. I still have wants and needs, just like other ponies, even Princess Celestia. And...well, with my vision and all, I just never really took stock of what I wanted and what I needed.
What I wanted...I wanted a paradise. A world where everypony didn’t have to worry or fear for their well-beings. I wanted a world where everypony would live in peace, and my improvements would be the catalyst. Discord, the great savior! They would sing my praises to Luna’s stars…
But I guess that’s not what I needed. What I needed was the adulation of the masses, the congratulations of everypony.
I still wish for that. But I never dreamed of accomplishing it with help or acceptance. I was to be a lone wolf, a martyr…but I never dreamed of maybe, there was something that could be that I had overlooked. Maybe...that something was friends.