//------------------------------//
// Unlikely Reunion 
// Story: Dang O' Ponies, I Tell You What 
// by LtMajorDude 
//------------------------------//

Hank, Dale (who was being dragged by Hank), Bill (their "tour guide"), and Boomhauer were busy exploring the town.

"And that's the schoolhouse" Bill continued. "Full of good fillies and colts there!...except those little two bitches Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon." he said with a growl.

Hank blinked. "Bill, they're just girls." he said.

"EVIL CRUEL DARK-HEARTED GIRLS!" Bill snarled. "THEY MADE APPLE BLOOM CRY, MOCKED EVERYON-PONY, AND EVEN MADE BABS SEEDS MISTREAT THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!-!-!"

Boomhauer had a shocked face. "Dang o' wow man yo"

Dale eventually woke up. "Ugh. Where am I?" he said.

"Bill was giving was a tour" Hank explained.

"And dang o' telling yo horses and cutie marks and I tell you what man Equestria yo". Boomhauer also added.

"So I missed the tour and My Little Pony info?" Dale said. "Mind giving me a recap?"

As Bill began to explain everything, the green stallion who was spying to the guys (ponies?) frowned.

"That's it. All they do is walk around like a bunch of idiots." he said to himself. "Might as well make it more interesting..." he said with a grin.

He suddenly appeared in front of Hank and his friends, surprising them.

The green stallion smirked.

"Well...i thought i'd never see you here wit yer friends, boy."

Hank was confused but was shocked after realizing what the voice was...

"Dad?" he whispered.

The green stallion laughed evilly.

"That's right Hank. I'M COTTON HILL. AND I KILLED FIDDY MEN!"

Dale looked scared.

"Colonel?" he wimpered.

Bill looked shocked. "Discord being reformed was one thing but THIS?-!-?-!"

"Dang o How?" Boomhauer asked.

Cotton smiled and told them his story.

"November 11, 2007. The day i died. kinda ironic cuz it was Veteran's Day. Anyway, when i died, i was expecting to go to hell wit my war buddies. Instead i was sent here as a horse. It looked gay, but i had worse. At first, i didnt wanna be stuck here. Eventually i got used to it. i lived in the forest, feeding off of plants and bugs and sleeping on bushes. Better than eating 'Jungle Rice' and spending 2 weeks under a pile of dead bodies on Iwo Jima. You wouldn't imagine the smell...Anyway, i found out that you guys were here. The WHOLE town heard Hank scream. i followed him and found you guys. i continued spying on you until i got bored and decided to drop the act. And now we're here!"

Hank and his friends just stared at him.

Cotton just shook his head laughing.

"By the way, when did you guys get here?" Cotton asked.

Dale spoke up.

"September 14, 2009" he stated.

Cotton whistled.

"By the way. Where's Hank's wife? Not that i care" he asked.

Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer just looked at each other.

They had no idea where the others are.

Cotton shrugged and broke the silence.

"Well, i might as well join you guys. Got nothing to do now that mah cover's been blown."

Hank sighed but let him join them.

They decided to walk around, maybe ask for help.





A large red stallion and an orange mare, with a cowboy hat, were busy kicking apple trees.

As they were watching the apples fall into the baskets, a brownish unicorn with a black tail and mane walked by.

He noticed the two horses kicking trees. He shook his head and had a frown in his face.

"Redneck hillbillies," he muttered as he walked away.