Wings of Tomorrow ~ Lament of the World

by Keeper of Jericho

29. On the way to a smile

Rainbow Dash knocked firmly on the door of Derpy’s office then stood still and waited for a response. The royal admiral’s usual cool and light-hearted expression was replaced with one of stoic seriousness and she held herself rather stiffly, as if on edge. Though she appeared to be alert and awake, there were slight bags under her eyes, betraying her recent lack of sleep. This wasn’t very surprising; there hadn’t been much time to rest ever since she came back from Canterlot, given the enormous amounts of preparations and work that had to be done.

She heard Derpy’s permission to enter and immediately opened the door and went inside. Her superior sat behind her desk as usual, nearly hidden from view by countless stacks of reports and other papers. The sight would have amused Rainbow Dash, if she hadn’t been so stressed and tired. It didn’t escape her notice that Derpy didn’t look much better than she did, however. No doubt the grand admiral slept even less than she did these days.

“You wanted to see me, ma’am?” Rainbow Dash asked as she saluted.

Derpy glanced up from her endless pile of work, her single golden eye looking tired and slightly bloodshot. Rainbow Dash felt a pang of pity for her fellow pegasus. The past few days hadn’t been exactly pleasant, but she knew just how much worse it had to be for Derpy, who bore the full responsibility for, well, pretty much everything.

“Yes, I did, admiral,” Derpy replied. “I have new orders for you.” She dug in her mountain of scrolls and papers until she fished out the one she was looking for. “You are to join admiral Desert Heat and admiral Amethyst Star in Stalliongrad to oversee and ensure the completion of the final preparations for the invasion. In particular, I’m assigning you to oversee the evacuation of the civilians.”

Rainbow Dash accepted the scroll Derpy gave her and unrolled it, her purple eyes scanning its contents.

“I know the invasion is still a few days off, but as we discussed during our last meeting, it never hurts to be prepared. I do not want us to be caught off guard if Shining Armour decides to start the attack before schedule,” Derpy continued. “Admiral Amethyst Star will oversee the shipping and storing of all supplies, while admiral Desert Heat takes care of the preparations of our defences and our troops. He will also take overall command of the city and the operation, so until my arrival both you and Sparkler are to report to him.”

Inwardly, Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief upon hearing that overall command would not fall onto her. She wasn’t sure she could have handled the stress; she was barely coping as it was now, though she’d never admit it. Desert Heat was much better suited for the job. The stallion was the most experienced member of the guard, after all, as well as the oldest. He remained calm even in the most dire of situations, as if nothing could ever faze him, he could certainly handle the pressure of being in charge of the defences against the greatest attack since the beginning of the civil war.

Derpy gave Rainbow Dash a questioning glance. “Any problems with this arrangement?”

Rainbow Dash glanced one last time at her orders before wrapping up the scroll again and putting it away. “None, ma’am, just one question, if you don’t mind,” she said, causing Derpy to raise her single eyebrow inquiringly. “Wouldn’t it have been more logical to put me in charge of the defences and Desert Heat of evacuating the civilians? Since he’s better at keeping ponies calm and at ease than I am, I mean. Don’t evacuations go better when ponies aren’t panicking?”

“They do,” Derpy admitted. “But I think it’s even more important that our soldiers remain calm and free of pressure, which is why I assigned Desert Heat to them. It is them who will be defending our kingdom, after all.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Rainbow Dash replied, nodding in understanding. “Still, why me and not Amethyst Star?”

Derpy gave her a look that made it clear she found that question incredibly stupid. “Admiral Amethyst Star is a strong and powerful commander, and quite capable of dealing with other soldiers,” she said, keeping her voice even and neutral. “But it is no secret that, when it comes to handling civilians, she is less adequate than her colleagues. She… lacks the patience or the attitude to lead a proper evacuation, while you do not, Rainbow Dash. I know that, you know it and Amethyst Star herself does as well.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true,” Rainbow Dash admitted, a weak grin on her face as she rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

“Well then, if you’re quite finished with fishing for compliments, I suggest that you get going, admiral,” Derpy replied, sounding not very impressed. “You’re set to leave tomorrow at dawn. Until then, I’m giving you the rest of the day off. I strongly advise you use it to catch up on all hours of sleep you’ve been missing lately. We need you to be well-rested for the invasion.”

Rainbow Dash nodded again, and she couldn’t suppress a yawn. “Thank you, ma’am. A nice long nap sounds really good right now.”

“You’d best make the most of it while you can, then,” Derpy replied and she made a dismissive gesture with one of her hooves. “You may leave, admiral.”

“Ma’am,” Rainbow Dash said, giving another salute before turning around and marching towards the doors of the office. She had almost made it to the doors, her left front hoof already rising from the floor towards the doorknob, when Derpy’s voice halted her in her tracks.

“It’s almost upon us, Rainbow Dash. All those years you, all of us, spent training, climbing in rank, working ourselves to the bone, it was all so we could be where we are now, in this moment.”

Rainbow Dash turned around and saw Derpy looking at her with a strange expression in her eye. Gone was the grand admiral, in her place now sat the mare beneath the uniform. No longer were they superior and subordinate, but simply two friends who had known each other for a long time.

“All the battles we’ve been through until now, it was all just a prelude to what’s coming. This battle will be on a scale the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the outbreak of the civil war, if then…” Derpy continued quietly. She bowed her head and gazed at her grey hooves. “It all stands or falls with Stalliongrad. Our dreams, our plans and our hopes for the future. If we don’t weather the coming conflict, it’s all over. Then it will only be a matter of time before we’re overrun.”

“I know,” Rainbow Dash replied quietly, trying to keep her voice from trembling. “Puts a lot of pressure on a mare’s shoulders.” She didn’t mention that the mare in question was herself; she didn’t think it was necessary.

“I understand perfectly how that feels, trust me,” Derpy said, for the first time allowing it to slip into her voice just how tired and exhausted she was. “But Rainbow Dash, trust me when I say that you can handle it.” She looked up from her desk again, her single golden eye giving Rainbow Dash a determined stare. “Nothing’s been decided yet. The odds may be against us, but now that we’ve been able to prepare, we do have a chance. We have you to thank for that.”

“You’re a fantastic soldier and a great commander. You have the full confidence and respect of your entire division, those ponies will follow you into Tartarus if you were to ask them. They trust you. I trust you,” Derpy continued. “I know it’s a lot of pressure and responsibility and that you’re afraid of screwing up, but you shouldn’t be. You can handle this, you have all the skill and power needed to do it. Even Amethyst said so.”

That brought a small smile to Rainbow Dash’s lips. It was nice to know that, for all the times they had argued and all the differences they had had in the past, Sparkler was still confident in and respectful of her abilities as an admiral. That gave her a major boost of confidence.

“The outcome of the battle may be uncertain yet, but if there’s anything that I am certain of, it’s that Rainbow Dash won’t let us down out there once the battle starts,” Derpy said decisively. Her eye narrowed and she looked Rainbow Dash straight in the eye. “You’re one of the most powerful ponies alive, the Princesses included, and don’t you forget that, admiral Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow Dash bowed her head briefly in silence, then looked up and smiled. “Thank you, ma’am,” she said gratefully. “I… I guess I needed to hear that.”

“As long as you remember it, it’s fine,” Derpy said gruffly with a shrug, suddenly back in her role as grand admiral. “Now off you go, admiral. You have your suitcase to pack, goodbyes to say and sleep to catch up on.”

Rainbow Dash merely grinned before turning back to the doors. When her hoof rested on the doorknob and was about to turn it, though, she couldn’t resist one last look over her shoulder. “If I may be so free, though, Derpy,” she said, using the pegasus’ name instead of title in order to indicate that she was talking as her friend, not as her subordinate. The grand admiral gave her a confused look. “I’d try to catch some sleep yourself before the big day is here. Celestia knows you’ve been working harder these days than all of us combined. I hate to say it, but it shows, too.”

Derpy gave a weak smile. “Don’t worry, Rainbow Dash, I plan to. After the three of you leave in the morning, I don’t plan on leaving my bed for the rest of the day. The night too, if they let me.” She paused for a brief moment. “I appreciate your concern, though.”

Rainbow Dash returned her superior’s smile. “Any time, you big old klutz,” she said with a grin, after which she quickly left the office before Derpy had the chance to have her tossed into the brig for that last comment.

Inside the room shared by Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Twilight, a small, pleasant get together was being held by the occupants of said room, together with the rest of their friends, except for Rainbow Dash. They were simply enjoying some tea and cake, while chatting amiably about their doings in the royal capital.

Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack were gathered around the small tea table, with the first three mares having made themselves comfortable on a few couches, while the latter was content with a simple chair that wasn’t ‘too fancy’. Pinkie Pie was sitting in one of the corners of the room, working on what she called her ‘party cannon mk. II’ with a comically serious look on her face. Though her friends had no idea where exactly she had gotten the tools and materials used for its creation.

“… and I actually got to see the place where they create this manufactured magicite Rainbow Dash was talking about once. Just a short peek, mind you, but quite fascinating, I must admit,” Rarity was saying, pausing for a moment to take a sip from her tea.

“It turns out that manufactured magicite isn’t so much manufactured as it is gemstones enchanted with long and complicated magical processes and spells that are outside my scope of expertise on the subject,” she continued, her gaze shifting towards Twilight. “I couldn’t stop wishing you had been there with me, darling, I’m absolutely certain you would have found it interesting.”

“Hmm?” Twilight muttered absentmindedly, reluctantly looking up from the book she was reading. It was a thick, heavy tome that seemed to be quite old, if its worn and yellow pages were anything to go by. “Oh, yes, I’m sure I would have, Rarity. I was hoping to do some light studying on magicite during my breaks, actually, but I ended up looking into something else instead…”

“Shucks, Twilight, you’ve been readin’ that old book the entire time,” Applejack said. “Ah’m sure you said you weren’t gonna study during these little fancy shindigs Rarity insists we keep having.” She looked down at her own teacup with a mild frown, not exactly being a huge fan of the beverage. She preferred a good cup of coffee or a mug of cider, herself.

“I hardly think spending time catching up with your friends counts as ‘fancy shindigs’, Applejack,” Rarity said, her lips forming a neutral, straight line. “What we’re having is just a friendly get together, a tea party with friends, nothing more.”

“You don’t have to worry, Applejack, I’m not studying,” Twilight chimed in, ignoring Rarity’s remark. She smiled wryly. “I know I need to take a few breaks in between, so I just do some light reading instead, to unwind a bit. I’ve been trying to find some information on something princess Luna mentioned to me, but I haven’t had much luck so far.”

“Light reading? Really?” Applejack echoed, looking incredulously at the behemoth that lay opened before Twilight on the couch. She wasn’t alone, Fluttershy and Rarity were sharing subtle glances of disbelief as well.

“Ahem, yes, well, you did mention the princess graced you with another visit a few days ago,” Rarity said, eloquently steering the conversation away from Twilight’s definition of ‘light reading’. “Whatever did she say that is so fascinating you cannot even come to tea time with your friends without a book?”

“Well, I actually asked her if she knew how Steel Gear travelled back in time. That’s been bothering me almost my entire life now and I thought that if anypony knew the answer, it would be one of the Princesses,” Twilight replied seriously. All of her friends immediately perked up, listening more attentively. Twilight’s question was actually one they would very much like to know the answer to as well.

“So it was kind of disappointing when she told me that she didn’t know either. But when I told her about what had happened to you, Fluttershy, she suddenly became very serious, worried even. Then things got even more strange when she asked me what I knew of ‘Scions’,” she continued.

Her friends all looked puzzled. “Scions? Can’t say I ever heard that one before,” Applejack said with a shake of her head.

“Neither did I,” Twilight replied. “Well, I did overhear Princess Celestia mentioning it a few times when she was alone, but I never dared to ask her about it, since then I’d have to admit that I had been kind of eavesdropping on her.” She smiled sheepishly at the memory. “Princess Luna suggested that I’d look it up, though, hinting that if I did, I would get some answers to all of my questions concerning Steel Gear and time. So that’s what I’ve been doing, whenever I took a break, but I’m not a step closer to any answers.”

She paused for a moment and gestured at the book she had brought. “So far I only managed to find a single mentioning of the word in all of the books I’ve searched, but it makes me none the wiser.” She skimmed through the book until she found the page she was looking for. “The word is mentioned in a report detailing an archaeological excavation. Apparently, in 1563 A.F, archaeologists found a tablet engraved with some of the oldest pony glyphs known to us. They eventually managed to translate them, and one sentence in particular stood out for me.”

Twilight cleared her throat and then read aloud the translation written on the pages, her voice low and solemn. “…beware the wanderer whose hooves taketh him to the northern wastes, for an ill fate might ensnare him and guide his hooves to the Frozen Throne, ever-still court of the Scion king over which Winter’s children stand vigilant guard…”

“Not much else is said beyond that, since the tablet wasn’t complete and a lot of what was inscribed upon it had faded away over time. Even so, it doesn’t tell me anything, just raises more question.” Twilight closed the book and gave a helpless shrug, though to the relief of her friends she smiled and didn’t appear too bothered by this fact.

“It does sound very mysterious, I must admit,” Rarity said, as she stroked her chin with one of her hooves. “One must wonder why the princess would push you in this direction if there is no substantial information to be found about it. Not that I would suspect her of ill intent, of course, but perchance she was putting you on the wrong track?”

“I don’t really think so,” Twilight replied, though she didn’t understand why she was so sure of that. “It’s possible that a thousand years ago there was much more information on this subject and that Princess Luna wrongly believed that this information would still be available in this day and age.”

Twilight was about to say something else when somepony knocked on the door. Rarity climbed out of her seat to answer it, a frown on her face as she wondered who could be disturbing them at this unusual hour. It was still an hour until lunch. When she opened the door, her eyes widened slightly in surprise as she came face to face with Rainbow Dash.

“Heya, Rare, the guards told me I could find you girls here. Mind if I come in?” the admiral asked, a strangely nervous smile on her face.

Rarity shook her head to shake of the haze of surprise, before smiling and stepping aside to let her friend pass. “Of course not, darling!” she replied. “I must say, this is quite unexpected, but do come in. We’re just having a little soirée, the five of us, but it wouldn’t be complete without you.”

“Ehm, I’m not planning on staying long,” Rainbow Dash said as she entered the room. “I’d love to, but I’ve got something I really need to take care of soon. Need to tell you girls a few things before I can do that, though.”

“Oh? What things?” Twilight asked curiously. She frowned upon taking a closer look at her friend. “Are you okay, Rainbow? You look kind of nervous.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, I’m just really tired. Been working myself to the bone lately, and it’s now finally catching up with me,” Rainbow Dash replied, making a dismissive gesture with her hoof. She fell silent and waited for Rarity to return to her seat. When she was sure that she had her friends’ attention, she took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she was about to say next.

“I just got new orders from Derpy. The preparations for the invasion are moving into their final stage, so me and the other two admirals are being sent to Stalliongrad to make sure everything goes okay,” she told them. “We’re leaving tomorrow at dawn, and since I’m planning to spend all of my time until then in my bed catching up on sleep, I figured I’d come and say goodbye to you girls first.”

Her declaration was met by five blank stares.

“Say goodbye?” Twilight echoed, puzzled. “Whatever for?”

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight as if she had just grown a second head. “Because we’re not going to be seeing each other again until I come back from Stalliongrad until after the battle, given that I survive it, duh?”

“Yes we are,” Twilight said, the confusion in her voice having grown stronger. “We’re coming with you.”

“No you’re not,” Rainbow Dash said flatly, rolling her eyes. Then she noticed the blank, incredulous stares her friends were giving her, and suddenly she realised that Twilight had been serious. “Like heck you are!” she said, her voice so fierce and loud that she was almost shouting. “Whatever or whoever gave you the idea that I was going to let you girls anywhere near Stalliongrad?!”

“Why, you did of course,” Rarity replied, blinking. “You asked for our help. That’s why you wanted us to come with you in the first place, remember?”

“I meant help as in you guys supporting me!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “I didn’t mean it literally, as in joining the fight! I would never put you guys into that kind of danger!”

“We’re not goin’ to be doin’ any fighting, sugarcube,” Applejack said calmly. “We ain’t stupid, we know none of us really know how to land a proper blow. Sure, we had a wild rodeo with that manticore and a pretty good brawl with them changelings, but we ain’t soldiers. But there’s other stuff we can help out with. Fluttershy here talked to a mare named Sharpening Stone, who gave her a list of tasks they be needin’ volunteers for. We all signed up.”

“No way! I’m not gonna let you guys put yourself in danger! I’ll be having enough things on my mind as it is without me constantly worrying if you guys are safe or not!” Rainbow Dash said firmly, stomping her hoof.

“Darling, you really can’t expect us to remain here while one of our best friends is heading headfirst into danger,” Rarity insisted, her voice calm but determined. “It would simply be unbearable for us, to sit here doing nothing while waiting for news.”

“But you’d be safe!” Rainbow Dash countered, still not willing to budge one inch. She gave each of them, one by one, a hard look. “You girls have no idea what you’re saying,” she growled. “You don’t know what a real battle is like, because if you did, you wouldn’t be so eager to rush into one!”

She stomped her hoof. “But I have! I’ve been in battle, more times than I could count, and I know what it’s like! You thought the changelings were bad? They got nothing on us! I’ve seen ponies get hurt, maimed, crippled and killed by other ponies, just because they had a different idea of what’s best for Equestria!” Rainbow Dash was shouting at this point, not caring who overheard them.

But just as suddenly as it had come up, her anger dissipated and she bowed her head, looking hurt and conflicted. “I have killed ponies too,” she admitted quietly, staring at the floor. “Not because I wanted to, not because I liked doing it, but because that’s what happens in a real fight. That’s what happens in war.” She sniffled, wiping away a few stray tears that had managed to escape from her eyes. “It’s already hurt me, and I won’t let it hurt my friends!”

A soft wing was wrapped tenderly around her, hugging her gently, causing Rainbow Dash to look up in surprise. Fluttershy had quietly left her seat in order to comfort her distraught friend, holding her in a warm embrace. She didn’t say anything, she simply sat there with her wing draped around Rainbow’s shoulders, while she held one of Rainbow’s hooves between her own and caressed it gently. All the while, Fluttershy was smiling timidly at her friend, her eyes shining with genuine understanding and compassion.

“Sugarcube, we know how tough this whole war business is on ya,” Applejack said kindly. She, like the rest of her friends, had the same expression of understanding and compassion on her face as Fluttershy did. “I talked to that Rose Thorn fellow, he told me the two of you’re good friends and how you stuck together in your early days. Told me he was there when you had to kill somepony fer the first time, in self-defence, how it got y’all hurting inside and feeling bad, that he did.”

Rainbow Dash avoided looking any of her friends in the eye, suddenly finding the wallpaper of the room very fascinating. “That blabbermouth, I’ll have him walk the plank for this…” she muttered darkly under her breath.

“He didn’t tell us anything we couldn’t have guessed for ourselves, Rainbow,” Twilight said gently, giving her friend a disarming smile to try and get her to calm down. “From the moment we learned that you had joined the royalists, we knew exactly what that meant. Just as we knew that you would never do anything to hurt another pony, let alone fatally, unless you have no other choice. It doesn’t make us think less of you, we’re your friends.”

“Which is exactly why we’ve decided to accompany you, no matter what you say,” Rarity concluded, smiling brightly. “You’re absolutely right; we haven’t been in a real battle before and it will undoubtedly be far from a pleasant experience once push comes to shove, though I hasten to add that Twilight and I have a good guess of what to expect thanks to that little mishap in Canterlot.” Her hoof absentmindedly glided to her stomach, where one of the Republican guards had pierced her with a bolt of magic.

“W-war and f-fighting is never nice,” Fluttershy said quietly. Her voice was trembling slightly, but she had a determined look in her eyes. “Ponies get hurt or die in it, just like you said. It’s awful and it hurts, but you still keep doing it.” She looked into Rainbow Dash’s eyes, holding her friend’s hoof a bit more firmly between her own. “N-not because you like doing it, but because you’re trying to do the right thing.”

“It’s no different for us, Rainbow,” Twilight explained. “We didn’t decide to go with you because we want to worry you or because we like the prospect of what we’ll be witnessing, but because it’s the right thing to do. If you’re allowed to go, to fight for that reason even though it hurts you, can you really deny us the same?”

“You asked fer our help, sugarcube, remember?” Applejack added. “You wanted us to support ya, to keep you goin’ when the goin’ gets tough, and we can’t do that from between these walls. You need us to be there with you for that, so that’s what we’re gonna do.”

“Of course, we’ll do our best to keep away from the actual fighting, since, as you were correct to point out, we do not know how to do that and we do not wish to worry you,” Rarity said. “Fortunately there are other ways we could make ourselves useful during the battle, which is why we’ll be helping to carry the wounded, distributing supplies, keeping watch or serving as messengers. The pony Fluttershy talked to made it quite clear that they could use every pony available for that.”

“I, um, I don’t like fighting and I’ll probably get very scared once it all starts, but I still want to go,” Fluttershy muttered meekly. “I… I don’t want to leave my friends and, um, I do want to try and help in some way, mostly for you, Rainbow Dash, but also a bit for Princess Celestia…”

Rainbow Dash still looked reluctant and uncertain, feeling torn and indecisive. She glanced at each of her friends in turn. “Are you girls really, really sure about this?” she asked, hoping quietly that one of them would say no. Her eyes settled on one of her friends in particular. “Even you, Pinkie? Twilight told me how much of a rough time you had just thinking about me doing the fighting. Are you really sure you can handle seeing a war with your own eyes? I don’t want you to get all depressed on me.”

To her great surprise, Pinkie’s wide smile didn’t drop. “Absolutely, Dashie!” she replied, nodding confidently. “I mean, I know that for a long time it made me really super duper sad to think that one of my bestest friends was doing things that aren’t really nice to other ponies and I wouldn’t want to do things that aren’t nice to other ponies myself unless those other ponies were really those mean old changelings posing as ponies again trying to ruin somepony’s wedding and party, then of course I would use my party cannon again to make them go away, like, duh, but only because they were trying to ruin a party and take the cake and nopony takes the cake!”

A long silence fell, during which all of her friends simply stared at Pinkie as if she had just grown a second head, but the pink pony seemed oblivious to it and simply kept smiling.

“Sooo… you didn’t like the idea of me fighting before,” Rainbow Dash finally said hesitatingly, giving her friend an uncertain glance. “And you still don’t like the idea of it now?”

“Yuppers!” Pinkie Pie nodded happily.

“Then why do you want to come along?” Rainbow Dash wondered aloud, utterly baffled.

“Because Fluttershy made me see that sometimes, in order to get to the sweet sugary goodness, we have to bite through the sour crust first!” came the answer, which only served to confuse Rainbow Dash even more. Pinkie Pie giggled and patted her on the head. “Dashie, I was all sad because nopony in Equestria had the time to have fun anymore due to time going all wacky, and I didn’t know how I could change that.”

“I want ponies to smile, that way I can smile too! The only thing that will make everypony really happy and smile again is if Equestria turns back to normal, and we begin doing that by freeing the Princess from those mean nasty Nobles!” she continued. “To free the Princess we have to do some things that aren’t nice and that would normally make me feel all sad inside. But now they don’t, because I know that doing them, even if it isn’t nice or fun at all, is the only way to make everypony smile again in the end.”

Her friends looked at her in surprise. “That’s… a surprisingly sound reasoning,” Twilight remarked, astonished. The others quietly nodded in agreement.

Rainbow Dash had little choice but to go along as well, though it was clear that she was still struggling with her friends’ decision. After a long time, she simply gave up and let out a deep sigh. “You guys aren’t going to change your mind no matter what I say, right?” she asked cheerlessly.

“Afraid not, sugarcube,” Applejack replied honestly, smiling a bit. “We’re sticking with ya till the very end.”

“Fine…” Rainbow Dash groaned, finally conceding. She let out another sigh and rubbed her forehead briefly, then trudged towards the door and mentioned for her friends to follow her. “Come along then, we’ve got lots of stuff to take care of and little time to do it, so let’s go.”

Her friends shared a look of confusion amongst themselves. “Go where, exactly?” Twilight asked, puzzled.

Rainbow Dash looked at her as if she had just asked an incredibly stupid question. “To the armoury,” she answered. “I’m not letting you come along without some form of protection, so we’re going to get each of you a suit of armour and a pair of wings.”