"This place brings back fond memories which I remember well." Celestia said as the newly created army marched down the ramp towards the Pool of Mirrors, "Take the changelings to the pool Chrysalis. I have gone over the procedure with you so there shouldn't be any fuck ups. Now if you'll excuse me, I have something to discuss with my student."
Celestia trotted over to Twilight and laid a hoof on her shoulder.
"How are you holding up Twilight?" she asked, "You must be taking Fluttershy's death pretty hard."
"I'm fine Princess." Twilight replied as she lowered her head in despair, "But I just don't know who could hurt such an innocent and defenceless pony. It breaks my heart because she didn't do anything to deserve what happened to her."
Celestia pulled Twilight under her wing only to be interrupted by Discord.
"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you," he said, "but I found some random junk which I think you may be interested in."
He snapped his fingers and a pile of miscellaneous items appeared on the ground in front of Celestia.
"Well let's see what we have here." she mumbled, "I'm pretty sure we can find something of use."
She began digging through the random pile of shit Discord had spawned.
"Wires, screws, a Frisbee, a Spectral Tiger... wait, what's this?" Celestia mused as she began looking through what looked to be the pages of a story, "To Friend is Human?"
"Eeek!" Twilight squealed as she quickly snatched the pages from Celestia's grasp before rubbing the back of her head nervously, her cheeks turning several shades of red.
"That's uhh... private stuff." she said as she quickly used her magic to hide the story thirteen stories above a multi-story carriage park.
"I see." Celestia replied with a bold smile, "Well here is something I could certainly use." she added with a giggle to herself as she picked up a small tin with a green leaf painted on the lid. "Hey Chrysalis you bitch! Are you done with the cloning yet? Some of us have shit to do you know!" she shouted as she rolled a blunt.
"Princess, no!" Twilight snapped as she used a spell to banish the drug which Celestia held.
Celestia's face turned sour.
"If you do that again," she said coldly, "I'll call Nick Fury."
She slowly walked up to Chrysalis, who was not aware of her close presence. Grinning, Celestia took a deep breath and placed her muzzle next to Chrysalis' ear.
"HEY!"
Chrysalis jumped about 20 hooves into the air and hit the floor with a thump before cowering in the foal position.
"Oh God," she cried, "please don't kill me!"
"I was just going to ask if you were done yet! There's no need to fucking freak out about it" Celestia snapped as she threw the Frisbee, which bounced off Chrysalis' face and made her cry out in fear again.
"Maybe you're being too hard on her?" Discord giggled as he picked up Chrysalis and dangled her by the horn, "Just look at this innocent face!" He added as turned her head toward the group.
Celestia crossed her forelegs and gave Chrysalis a disapproving look.
"It's not my fault that the Queen Of All Bitches tried to ruin Cadence's wedding." she said.
Discord dropped Chrysalis, who landed right on her face with another cry of fear.
"I honestly don't know why I am even helping you guys," she snapped as she pulled herself up from the floor, "you are all being so mean to me."
"Quit being such a pansy!" Twilight snarled, "We are doing this because the person reading it finds it hilarious!"
She looked at Discord who was looking at you. He gives you a dominant wink which you take as a sign he wants you to be his bitch. You follow him to the gay bath house and begin a night of passionate sex like you've never had in your life. Discord cracks open a bottle of champagne and pours it over your chest while he breathes heavily on your neck and strokes your delicate hair—
Now back to the story!
As everyone arrives back in Ponyville, Twilight is greeted by her remaining friends. (Dear reader, it would seem I forgot to mention the sad fact that Pinkie Pie and the Cakes perished in a terrible fire. The children managed to escape, but unfortunately they were crushed by falling debris upon escaping the burning building.
"Where is Pinkie Pie?" asked Twilight as she waved farewell to Celestia, who was setting off to make further preparations for the upcoming war.
"I'm sorry Twilight," replied Rainbow Dash, "but that little bundle of fun accidentally burned down Sugarcube Corner, killing herself and the Cakes."
"Oh my God!" Twilight screamed as she put her hooves to her face in horror, "Shit, I guess having too much fun really can kill you."
Rainbow Dash immediately burst into tears of laughter.
"That's funny Twilight," she chuckled as she wiped tears from her eyes, "you're really a hoot!"
"Whats so fucking funny?!" Twilight snapped as she suddenly grabbed Dash by the mane, "Is this some kind of fucking joke to you? Our good friend has died in a horrible accident, and you're laughing about it!"
With a scream, Twilight threw Rainbow Dash into a wall using her magic. The mare was knocked out by the resulting blow to the head. Twilight gasped and ran over to her.
"Oh God," she cried as she held her close, "I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, I didn't mean to use so much force!"
"Let's get her to the hospital." Rarity said as she pulled the two apart and used her magic to settle Dash on her back.
"Wait, I think I know a spell to get us there faster than walking!" Twilight said gleefully as she shot up, her horn glowing brightly and a tense expression on her face.
"Darling, you really don—" Rarity's words were cut off by a blinding flash of light. She screamed as Rainbow Dash fell off her back.
As the light faded they began falling. A few seconds later they both crashed into a tree, with Rainbow Dash nowhere in sight. Twilight rubbed her head softly.
"I really gotta practice this shit more often." She sighed as she turned to Rarity.
"Well next time maybe you can write some instructions." Rarity spat sarcastically, "... where the fuck are we anyway?"
The two of them looked down and saw Rainbow Dash sprawled out on the ground. They gasped as a strange bipedal creature ran over and kneeled down next to her.
"Holy shit Dash," he said as he prodded her side, "are you all right? You look like you took quite a bea— hey wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be at the lake with Spark Plug?"
Twilight gasped in shock. The noise caught the creature's attention and he looked up at them. Upon seeing Twilight, he raised an eyebrow.
"Hey babe," he said, "what are you doing up there... with Rarity? And what the fuck happened to Dash?"
"Oh my fucking God," Twilight screamed, "I sent us to another dimension!"
She grabbed Rarity and climbed down the tree. Avoiding eye contact with the creature, she picked up Rainbow Dash and squinted her face again before being surrounded by another blinding light.
The library door opened, causing the creature to turn around. He froze on the spot at the sight of Twilight.
"Uh, Geo?" she asked quizically, "What's wrong?"
Instead of replying, Geo simply passed out like a bitch.
***
Once the light had faded, Twilight and her companions found themselves in the hospital. Rarity quickly found a nearby doctor and began explaining the situation. When she returned she picked up Rainbow Dash and gave Twilight and evil glare.
"You do know," she snapped, "that you really need to get that crap under control."
"I guess you're right." Twilight lowering her head to the floor as Rarity walked away. Her brief moment of sadness was shortly interrupted by a loud bang. She shot around to find herself face to face with somepony she thought she would never see again.
"Twilight, there's no time to explain... but the future of Equestria lies with you. We have to go now!"
Fluttershy was gasping for air as she said those words.