//------------------------------// // 18: The Best Laid Plans // Story: A Dream That Wasn't // by Another Army Brony //------------------------------// Chapter 18 The Best Laid Plans         I have no idea how long I was in the void, whether it was a year or but a fraction of a moment. All that I know is eventually, I emerged from the void and returned to the land of the living. Slowly, I opened my eyes into a dimly lit room. The lights in the room were all off, but there was enough of a glow coming from the screen of the monitor measuring my vital signs to see by. A thin ray of light slipped through the doorframe, augmenting the wan illumination. I could feel the weight of my sorrow and my guilt pressing down on my chest, threatening to choke the life out of me. In a sickening irony, the pressure of my guilt was a familiar, comfortable feeling. Of course… my suffering would be a sick and twisted form of comfort for a masochist like me. I didn’t deserve to be happy, I didn’t deserve to feel anything resembling hope when the one who had loved me so was suffering so terribly. I wasn’t worthy of feeling joy.         Joy.         Joy?         Pieces began to fall into place as my brain sluggishly gathered clues. The weight on my chest was not psychosomatic, it was actually there. There was a physical weight upon my chest. As if on cue, the weight shifted slightly before settling. A wave of sensations flooded my mind. There was a reason that this weight seemed familiar, seemed comfortable… and that reason was simply that the weight was Joy, sleeping atop my supine form in our usual manner. At this moment, Celestia divided by zero on Pinkie Pie’s calculator, and the impossible happened. My guilt doubled, and redoubled again. So caught up was I with my lamentations for a life I'd never return to, that I'd completely, utterly, and unforgivably neglected the one I lived now. I'd shuttered myself within the dungeon of my own self pity and spurned all who tried to let in the light of friendship. I'd neglected myself to the point of hospitalization and refused to speak to anypony about it. I couldn’t even begin to fathom how worried Joy must be about me, or how terribly hurt she’d been by my cold shoulder.         And you want to know the kicker? The thing that really made me feel like the lowest scum to have ever metabolized carbohydrates into energy? She was still there for me. Here she was, passed out by my side in a hospital bed in the dark of the night even after I'd treated her so terribly. She’d stayed here by my side, though she had to have expected more of the same crappy treatment as before. And yet, she stayed.         She’d stayed.         Joy… why? Why would you stay?         I knew the answer. She loved me, and it was more painful for her to be away from me than to put up with me. My heart swelled with adoration and admiration for Joy’s inner strength, all the while breaking for the way I'd treated her.         I knew I was a fuck up, but I was unaware of just what a glorious clusterfuck of badness I actually turned out to be.         Something inside me broke at that point. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and that was the end of it, there was no turning back. I wrapped my feeble arms around Joy and silently wept, letting out emotions I didn’t know I'd been bottling up for several weeks. Grief, guilt, remorse, and shame came first, being the emotions I was most familiar with. What came next though took me by surprise.         I felt the fire of rage burning in my gut, trying to consume me from within, felt the unabated hatred setting my blood to boil. I loathed myself for what I was becoming, for letting myself wallow in self pity, and most of all for the way I'd treated everypony that tried to offer a helping hoof. I ground my teeth so hard I thought they were going to break and slowly flexed the arm not pinned under Joy in an effort to establish some form of self control. I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream and holler until I had no voice left, wanted to punch the walls until something broke, wanted to throw and smash and destroy anything in reach. There was a time in my past where I would have done just that, but I just wasn’t that person anymore.         Slowly, ever so torturously slowly, the rage began to abate. My pulse began to slow and I managed to stop gritting my teeth before I had none left. It wasn’t until the sound of my teeth being ground against themselves ceased that I realized how loud it had been. I'd been grinding my teeth so hard that the sound had awoken Joy from her slumber, something that must have been quite frightening. What a sight I must have been… tears flowing freely, breathing heavily, clenching every muscle as tightly as possible, and grinding my teeth to dust. In the silence that followed, a faint sound came to my attention… Joy was muttering under her breath as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut.         “Dear Celestia, full of grace, hear my plea… “         A prayer. Now, I may not be the smartest pony around, but when a medic starts to pray, it is generally a bad sign. Joy fervently repeated her litany over and over, and it seemed like she hadn’t yet noticed that the episode was over. Not wanting to startle her, I gently reached out a feather and brushed a lock of her disheveled mane away from her face. She was interrupted mid-supplication by a startled gasp, her eyes immediately popping open and locking on mine. In the instant that our eyes made contact, something unspoken passed between us, and Joy’s relief was palpable. Also palpable was the feeling of being suffocated as Joy threw herself around me and squeezed me as hard as she could. Though we both shed tears, they were tears of relief rather than anguish.         We wept until tears no longer came, at which time we simply embraced the other, grateful for their presence. Eventually, we found our words.         “Joy… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through… I… I’m sorry.”         With a voice made raw by emotion, she asked the only question she could. “Dave… why? Why would you do this, what could possibly be so bad that you’d give up on life rather than talk about it? Why would you scare us all like this?”         “I can’t… no, no. I have to talk about this. I don’t know if I can, but I have to try. All I ask from you is for you to hear me out completely before you tell me to get out of your life for good. Please?”         “Dave, I don’t think that there is anything in Equestria that could keep me from you, let alone make me leave you. But for you, I promise anyways.”         I couldn't bring myself to look her in the face, so I instead focused on the ever beeping monitor. “You may reconsider after this.”         The pain, fear, and dread in her voice was palpable as she spoke next. “There’s not some other mare, is there?”         “Huh? No, there’s not. Well, not exactly.”         I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eyes just yet, but I could feel the weight of her gaze upon me. I sighed deeply and began my confession.         “Joy, before I came to Ponyville, I had a life far different than what I’ve told you. There are things that I didn’t tell you… things I should have, and wanted to, but couldn’t find the words to tell you. I was in a relationship with another mare. It was far from perfect… we were almost constantly arguing, and sometimes it seemed like the only thing keeping us together was a mutual fear of having to start over with somepony new. And then one day… everything changed. I… they… I lost… she didn’t… “         My voice cracked and my body shook as the wounds were opened again, and the weeping started once more. I fought to get this terrible weight off of my chest, to be free of even a fraction of the secrets I bore.         “I lost her. Be… before I came here, I lost the one I loved. I couldn’t cope, so I fled. Everything I saw reminded me of what I once had, so I left it all behind as I tried to outrun my pain. And for a while, it looked like it was working. There was the accident that led me here to Ponyville and brought us together, and everything seemed right in the world. I thought I'd finally put it behind me. But it would seem that my past has caught up with me after all.”         Long moments of silence passed unbroken, save for the beep of the monitor. When Joy spoke up, the pain in her voice was unmistakable. “Dave… why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner? Doesn’t this seem like the sort of thing you should tell your marefriend about? What set it off, why did this all happen all of the sudden when everything seemed to be going so well with you?”         “The date. It’s coming up on my old anniversary and her birthday. I’m sorry, I thought I would be able to handle it, I never expected this.”         “That makes two of us.”         I could hear the hard edge of bitterness in her voice, her tone revealing the depth of her hurt…no, hurt was the wrong word. She wasn’t hurt, she was feeling betrayed. I couldn’t blame her one bit. A tense silence descended upon the room as that last proclamation hit home and sunk deep.         I had no idea how I'd live without her, but I had accepted my fate. “If you want me to, I’ll pack my stuff while you’re at work. I won’t make your life any more stressful than it already is.”         Instead of agreeing, Joy fixed me with a fierce gaze. “What makes you think you are going to get off that easily? No sir, if you think I’m going to let you pull something like this and then walk away, you’ve got another thing coming.”         “I… I don’t understand… “ Was this some cruel joke? Was she toying with me?         “You aren’t moving out, Dave. After all of this, you’re going to have to stick around and suffer my abuses for a good long time before we’re even. Heck, we might never get even, considering how prone you are to pulling shenanigans.”         “So… you aren’t kicking me out?”         “What part of ‘a good long time’ did you not get?” Relief and careful optimism flooded me in equal parts.         “I just… I don’t know what to say. I was sure that you’d want nothing to do with me after this.”         “Oh, I considered it for a brief moment. But all jokes aside, you make me feel things I’ve never felt before, for better or worse. After something like this… really, what’s left to worry about? Everything else pales in comparison. If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything.”         I had no words. None would have been able to properly capture my wonder and adoration for this mare, anyways. Instead, I pulled her close and kissed her deeply. The moment our lips met, I could see the light again, the light that had been growing dimmer and dimmer as that fateful date grew closer. The clouds parted and a beam of hope shone through to dance upon my face. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, and all I had to do was hold tight until I got there. Sitting there in a hospital in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but a hospital robe as tears still glistened on my cheeks, I smiled.         “Hey, Dave?”         “Yes, Joy?”         “If something like this ever happens again, a little heads-up would be super.”         “Heh, okay. I’ll be sure to warn you when there’s an emotional train wreck inbound.”         “That’s all I ask.”         We chuckled a little bit at this, and the sound felt strange in my chest. Considering that this was the first time in a month or so that I’d laughed, it was understandable. It felt good, like I was taking the first step back towards normal.         The next three days passed in a blur. Nurses came and went, bowls of soup and applesauce gave way to trays of real food, and I could feel the strength returning to my limbs. I went to the therapy sessions like they wanted me to, and the shrink gave me a clean bill of health and a tired smile. The last thing he said to me as he walked me out of his office for the last time was that the best patients are the ones who can fix themselves. I nodded, smiling to myself for reasons he’d never know. During the therapy sessions, he kept using words like “resilience”, “bounce back”, and “bend, don’t break”. Even in an alternate universe full of ponies, I couldn’t get away from resilience training. Go figure.         I was summarily discharged with a smile and a ton of papers to keep track of, which I immediately took to Brass at the new clinic. After explaining everything for the third time and presenting the supporting documents, I was finally able to convince Brass to put me back on the schedule for night shift. I had a week-long evaluation period to make sure I was good to go, after which it would be back to business as usual, provided everything was to Brass’ satisfaction. Everything was still as it should be by the end of the evaluation period, and I was officially back to night shift manager. Sure, I was catching a bit of flak from Buffy about this whole “fake a mental illness to take a covert vacation” theory of hers, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Besides, some of her theories for what I’d actually been doing in my time off were pretty damned hilarious. I had no idea where to find a volcano, or how to ski down one, but now I was more than a little eager to try it.         Slowly but surely, the whole event faded into the past, relegated to the realm of memories. My birthday came and went without much fanfare, mostly because I only told Joy about it a day ahead of time. I had barely finished my sentence to tell Joy about the birth anniversary when Pinkie exploded out of a seat cushion in Pony Joe’s with a burst of confetti, screaming the word “Party” as she streaked away. Sure, I was a bit shocked by the sudden outburst, but you should have seen the mare who’d been sitting in the booth at the time. Her expression was priceless. The following day, I received a grand total of eight gifts. I got a basket of oatmeal muffins from Derpy, A basket of apples and fritters from Applejack, a cake from Pinkie, a book on aerial combat from Twilight, A phoenix feather from Fluttershy, an autographed picture of Rainbow Dash (for when she got famous), and a beautiful brush from Rarity. The brush was made from a beautiful blue stone with mother of pearl inlays and silver trim.         Last, but certainly not least, was my gift from Joy. It was a small envelope with a mouth-written note wishing me a happy birthday, and the greatest gift of them all: two tickets to the spa. We went that weekend, and it was immediately apparent why Rarity frequented this place so much. At the end of the day, I felt like jelly on legs, every single knot and kink having been worked out of my body. Aside from my birthday and the spa visit, nothing really spectacular happened. The spring melted away into summer, my beloved nights getting shorter and shorter. I often dreamed when I slept, but not once did I encounter Luna as I had before. I chalked it up to the fact that Luna and I were awake at night and asleep during the day, affording her no opportunity to pay me a visit. I was partially saddened by this, but at the same time I figured that no news was good news, even though I somewhat expected a wing of royal guards to drop by the clinic for a “chat”.         With Joy busy with school and work, we didn’t see much of each other outside of the weekends. This led me to try and find new ways to entertain myself on the weekdays, and I did so by making a nightly circuit of the bulletin boards scattered around town. It was on one such nightly excursion that I was struck by an industrial-strength flash of brilliance. Near Lyra’s music store was a small board used to advertise local musicians and performances, which I found particularly amusing. This was mostly due to the outrageous names of some of the bands. On this warm July night however, there was something new that caught my eyes. It would seem that Lyra had some sort of insider in Canterlot, due to the fact that she had a flyer advertising a limited number of tickets to a concert in Canterlot for sale. And just who was to be playing at this concert, you ask? Why, none other than Miss Octavia, of course.         And just like that, an idea congealed in my mind like the leftover gravy from thanksgiving. I would dig into my savings, no matter what the cost, to buy tickets to this concert and transportation there and back. No, no… that simply wasn’t enough. I had to make it… fabulous. I knew just who to talk to.         As soon as my shift was over, I made a beeline for Lyra’s, arriving just as she was opening shop for the day. After a bit of haggling and more than a little wheeling-and-dealing, followed by more haggling, I ended up spending far more than I planned on. It was worth every single bit I paid, though; I had managed to score not only two seats front and center, but also VIP backstage passes. After the concert, Joy and I would get to hang out with Octavia. You know, no big deal. I practically floated to Carousel Boutique after that, partially because I was giddy with excitement and partly because I was carrying significantly fewer bits in my bags. The Boutique didn’t open for another hour, but my knock was answered nonetheless by Sweetie Belle. I explained myself for a moment to the filly, after which she disappeared behind a closed door. I stood there long enough to wonder if I should just turn and leave, but any further debate was quelled by the opening of a door.         I must say, even standing at the door in a bath robe first thing in the morning, Rarity looked stunning. Her face lit up when she saw me, but only for a moment before I was swept into the boutique as the door closed behind me.         “Terribly sorry about that, darling. I couldn’t very well leave you standing on the stoop like that. What would somepony think if they saw me in such a dreadful state?”         “They’d most likely be jealous that they couldn’t look so stunning this early in the morning.”         “Oh, you and that silver tongue of yours. I know you’re just being polite, but the gesture is appreciated. So, what can Rarity do for you?”         Take off that robe, nice and slow like…         Fuck off, you.         Hehehe… I’ll leave you with that visualization. Ta ta for now.         Goddamit. Now it won’t go away. Focus!         “Ah, well. I’m going to be attending one of Miss Octavia’s concerts in Canterlot, and I was wondering if you—“         “But of course, darling. I’d love to accompany you as your escort.”         I took a brief second to wonder if the word “escort” had the same connotations here as it did on earth, but chose not to dwell on the subject. Instead, I picked up right where I left off.         “—if you knew a nice place I could take Joy out to eat in that area?”         The alabaster mare looked positively crestfallen, from her puppy-dog eyes to her quivering bottom lip.         “But I thought you were taking me to Canterlot? It isn’t nice whatsoever to raise somepony’s hopes like that just to dash them. How uncouth.”         “But I… but you… I didn’t… “         Rarity’s disappointment vanished in an instant, replaced instead by a triumphant grin.         “What’s the matter, darling? Opalescence got your tongue?”         “But… alright, I have to admit it; that was a masterful jest.”         “But of course. After all, everything in this boutique is a cut above the rest.” Rarity punctuated her statement by flipping her perfectly coiffed mane in dramatic fashion.         “That should be your slogan.”         Rarity tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hmm. You may be right. At any rate, back to the task at hoof. You are seeking a gourmet dining establishment? I know just the place…”         Ten minutes later I let myself out of the boutique, armed with a napkin-map of the area of canterlot I’d need to navigate. So far, everything was looking simply superb. All I needed now was a way to get to the event and back. Thus I took to the skies once more as I sought out the last of my destinations; the lair of a certain purple unicorn.         An hour later, I headed home, exhausted, and more or less successful. The good news that stemmed from this meeting with Twilight is that I did indeed have a mode of transport to canterlot and back. The not-sure-what-to-make-of-this news was that it wouldn’t be in Twi’s balloon like I’d originally planned, but rather in one of Celestia’s own personal sky carriages, one which was reserved for Twilight to use at her leisure. True to her incredibly analytical fashion, Twilight had been able to find out the guidelines for her usage of the carriage. Twilight was permitted to use the carriage at any time for any length of time and for whatever purpose she saw fit. However, Twilight could also authorize an emissary acting on her behalf to utilize the carriage for an appointed purpose for up to twenty-four hours. There were numerous other clauses and caveats, but the important thing was that Joy and I would be permitted to use the carriage to shuttle us to the concert and back. All we had to do was drop a book off at the Royal Canterlot Library while we were at it.         So, there it was. The entire plan had come together in the matter of a few hours. We would be flying to Canterlot in the Princess’s own sky carriage to attend a concert being performed by Miss Octavia. During the concert, we would be seated front and center of the stage. Immediately following the concert, we would be escorted to the VIP section backstage to socialize with Miss Octavia. After socializing, we would head to the restaurant Rarity had recommended for a gourmet meal. Following this, we would return to Ponyvile.         Now, I know what you are thinking.         “I thought you said you’d teach her what love could be like. All it seems like you are doing is trying to buy her love with extravagant gifts. What gives?”         A valid point. Here’s the thing though… it’s not the fact that it is a super fancy concert in a big city that makes it special, the fact that it is her favorite musician performing makes it special. Sure, the restaurant is crazy expensive and over-the-top, but as much as Joy cooks, you can tell it is a passion of hers. Not her true calling, perhaps, but something she really enjoys. So why not spoil her once every so often to inspire her cooking by giving her some new ideas and inspiration? The carriage is entirely over the top, but it wasn’t my idea. But see, this isn’t even the best part. The best part comes after all of the pomp and circumstance. At the end of the evening, We aren’t going to be dropped off in front of the house like you might expect. No, we are going to be dropped off in a secluded meadow, right under an ancient tree. See where this is going yet? No? Well, follow me and we will fix that later.         The concert wasn’t until the middle of October, which left me all sorts of time to get some things set up. A week after I first saw the flyer for the concert, the final piece was set in place. And this time, Flora only got some of my gelt, as opposed to most of it. Perhaps the most difficult thing to plan for was how to get Joy sized for a dress by Rarity without blowing my cover. As it would turn out, the solution was entirely too simple. All it took was Rarity asking if Joy would like to be fitted for a graduation gown, and just like that we had what we needed. It seemed like Rarity was taking a bit too much excitement out of this whole plan, something she dismissed with a wave of the hoof and something about espionage and sexy spies when I asked about it. By the time July twentieth rolled around, everything was set. The only thing to do now was to wait.         In my excitement over the Concert and my plans for aforementioned concert, I’d nearly overlooked what was possibly the single most critical event of my life at that point in time: Joy’s graduation.         Joy’s tireless dedication, unfaltering drive, her vision of the future, and her determination to make it all into reality was finally going to be rewarded. On the eighteenth of August, Joy was to receive her certification as a doctor. The final draft of her dissertation had been sent up for review on the fifth of July, only a day ahead of the cutoff date. Once the paper had been submitted, it became a waiting game. Though she tried to hide it, anypony could see that she was incredibly nervous. Even when we spent time together on the weekends, she was distant, distracted. I found it a little upsetting that she wasn’t lavishing me with the attention I was used to receiving, but I immediately recognized this notion as exceedingly self-centered and banished it.         When Joy got her letter in the mail, you would’ve sworn it was Nightmare Moon in the mailbox from the way she screamed. I was fast asleep on the couch one second, dreaming about a swimming pool full of smoothie juice that never melts. Next thing I know I’m on my hooves and hauling ass to the front door before I even consciously recognize that something is happening. As a matter of fact, I was almost to the mailbox before it sunk into my brain what was actually going on. Joy was levitating the envelope a good meter and a half away from her, cringing as if it was a venomous snake ready to strike. As it would happen, everypony within about three hundred meters heard the scream, and everypony within a hundred meters ventured outside to see what happened. I got a few dirty looks as I stood there from ponies that heard a screaming mare and then see an out-of-breath stallion standing next to her.         The way she passed out wasn’t helping my cause any, either. I managed to catch her with a wing and keep her from just flopping onto the ground like a sack o’ potatoes. The dirty looks I got at first were nothing compared to the looks I got from the ponies that had missed her fainting but saw me throw her on my back and carry her inside. I heard at least three ponies shout something at me and start galloping towards me before they were intercepted by other neighbors that had seen the whole thing.         Fast forward a half-hour, and Joy still hadn’t opened the letter. It sat on the kitchen table as she tried to stare through it and learn her fate without touching it. More than once, I'd offered to open it, and was vehemently denied each time. I reached for it anyways, like an idiot, and promptly loss all feeling in my arm from the shoulder down. It was right about then that I decided it would be advisable not to piss off the mare who could make me lose feeling in large tracts of my body on a whim. Finally, Joy had managed to gather the courage to open the letter and learn her fate. The resulting scream had similar results to the first, though since we were inside at the time, the effective range was halved. The ringing in my ears persisted for a full half an hour after the last echo had stopped reverberating through the house.                  Had I not been in the process of passing out from lack of oxygen (courtesy of a death-hug from Joy), I might have been concerned about permanent hearing damage. Just as everything was fading to black, I was released from the asphyxiating display of affection and promptly crumbled to the floor. Once the stars vanished, and the ringing in my ears got a little quieter, I had the pleasure of hearing Joy read her entire acceptance letter out loud. Four times. Consecutively.         The eighteenth came creeping up ever so slowly at first, up until the last week or so. The three days prior to the ceremony seemed to vanish without a trace, and the big day was upon us before we knew it. Rarity once more proved that nothing is impossible when you have a fashion genius on the job, as demonstrated by why might have been the single most stunning graduation gown that there had ever been. What was best about the design of it was that it looked just like a regular gown when she was in a crowd; she blended right in. As soon as she broke out on her own to walk across the stage and get her diploma is when she stood out. Parts of the gown had been taken in to be more form-fitting, while others had been trimmed or been let out to accentuate Joy’s curves.         Despite the fact that there were less than a dozen graduates, the big-wigs at the podium managed to make the whole ceremony drag on for-freaking-ever. The only other pony to get their Doctorate that I recognized was Nurse Tenderheart. She’d sure come a long way from filling in as a receptionist. During the ceremony, we had to stand for so many different introductions that I think I lost a pound or two while I was there. However much it sucked for me, it was at least twice as magical for Joy. It’d been a while since I had seen that glint in her eye, and I couldn’t bring myself to be grumpy about standing so much. Just seeing her smile as years of hard work and dedication finally came to fruition… hell, it choked me up. I was so incredibly proud of her and what she’d done, it was beyond my fathom. I was so full of pride it was leaking from my eyes in liquid form. After the ceremony had come to a close, Dawn treated Joy and I to a three-course meal at Fleur’s. Joy was still randomly tearing up throughout dinner, but her smile was so bright that there could be no doubt about her disposition.         I'd found out shortly after the graduation was over that Joy would giggle whenever she was addressed as “Doctor Joy”, and I was having a blast with it. I'd sneak it in when she least expected it, trying to catch her off guard. (Get your mind out of the gutter… )         “So, no lie, there I was. I was walking in to Berry’s Smoothies to get one to – Doctor Joy.”         It was the perfect joke. It required no set up, so special delivery, no structure at all. The joke was the punchline. The best part was that no matter how badly time or out of place it was, Joy would giggle every time. The three courses came and went in a flash; so too did the hours of the night. It seemed like one minute I was in a chair, lamenting about how asleep my ass was; the next moment I was at Fleur’s, telling terrible jokes and loving the way that Joy glowed when she smiled. And just like that, we were at home on one of the rare occasions that we had the same day off of work and could just lounge around together. That night, she fell asleep with a smile on her face. Words cannot describe how wonderful she looked, cannot capture the way my heart swelled with joy and love for this mare. Moments like this one glisten in my memory like the stars in the night sky, creating constellations that weave a tale of wonder and boundless love.         September rolled along with its monsoon rains, washing away the heat of summer and rinsing the green from the leaves of the forest. The fiery shades of autumn were beginning to grow stronger each day, and the nights were once more growing longer. Joy was settling nicely into her new role as a Doctor, finding her passion renewed by her new duties.         I was still on night shift, but there was talk about moving me to day shift manager when scruffy retired in December. I wasn’t going to believe anything until it happened, but it was a promising idea regardless. Life stabilized for a while as we fell into a routine once more, the days marching slowly past like dutiful insects. Slowly but surely, the big day drew nearer. I'd resorted to a little back-door wheeling and dealing with the lead surgeon to ensure that Joy would have the day off on the twelfth of October, the day of the concert. While Doctor Stitch was a little reticent at first, he quickly warmed up to the idea when I explained all of the preparations that had gone into the evening. I had just finished thanking him and was about to walk off when he tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to look back at Doc Stitch, and I was a bit caught off guard by what I saw. He’d dropped the tough-as-nails doctor façade in favor of a wizened, fatherly expression. The only other time I'd seen him like this was when I'd brought Derpy into his clinic, covered in blood. What he said next would stay with me for the rest of my life.         “Dave, there is a lot of pain in this world, and a whole lot of darkness. No matter what, always remember that this world is a bit brighter because of you and what you’ve done. No matter what, nopony can take that from you. Thank you, Dave.”         I didn’t know what to say. I merely nodded in affirmation, receiving the gesture in kind. The hoof dropped from my shoulder, and I stepped out into the hallway. My shift had ended an hour ago, but I'd been busy talking to Doc Stitch and was only just leaving the clinic. I stepped out into an overcast sky and lightly drizzling rain. There was a gentle wind blowing, carrying brown and golden leaves across the street. The day was delightfully melancholy, perfect for introspection. Or at least, it would have been if I wasn’t about to fall asleep standing up. I sighed deeply and headed home.         The days counting down to the concert dwindled to single digits, and I could feel the anxiety growing within me. I wanted everything to go perfectly, though I knew that it wasn’t going to happen. It just was not possible for this many pieces of a puzzle to come together flawlessly, especially when I was involved. I began to check and double check my list, even though I could recite the damn thing from memory nine ways from Sunday. Finally, it was go time. Thursday, Eleven October, Zero Seven Twenty         Eleven October dawned without fanfare, the sun doing little to pierce the morning fog and fight away the chill of night. Joy would be at the clinic until seventeen hundred that day, which left me plenty of time to catch some sleep before setting out on my errands. My alarm sounded at fourteen hundred, rousing me from my fitful slumber. I was so anxious for the days ahead that I was having trouble sleeping again. Once I had gotten myself ready and packed my saddle bags for the day ahead, I set off into town. I flew over the hustle and bustle of the town below, making my way to Emerald City in a fraction of the time it would have taken by hoof. Emerald smiled at me from behind the counter, having become quite accustomed to my regular visits over the last few months. As I paid off the remaining balance on the jewelry, Emerald shot me an exaggerated sad face.         “Dave, now that you’ve paid off the ring, who am I going to harass on a bi-weekly basis? I’m going to miss you… you’re such an easy target.”         “Hey now, be nice you meanie. I’ll miss you too, Emma.”         She grinned widely at this. “See? We’re practically pals by now. Nicknames and all. But really though, don’t be a stranger. You are always welcome here.”         “I’ll stop by every so often for my ritualistic harassment, or if I find myself in need of something shiny.”         She nodded in satisfaction. “Atta boy. Take care, Dave.”         “You too, Emma.”         From Emerald City it was just a short jaunt to Carousel, where I picked up the little black dress I'd had Rarity craft for Joy. Rarity was out on some business or the other, and Sweetie Belle had long since come to the conclusion that I was a reliable fellow. As soon as she opened the door and saw me, she left the door ajar and walked back inside. I knew the routine by this point, and followed Sweetie to the front desk. She simply grabbed the bag from under the desk and set it down in front of me, giving me a big, innocent smile before walking off. Sweetie Belle and I were cool like that ever since that first day, when I'd come to her defense against unfounded allegations of boorishness. The final bit of preparation would have to wait as long as possible, due to its perishable nature. Securing the garment in my bag and double checking on the rings, I set off on hoof towards Flora’s. I'd gotten so used to flying everywhere over the last couple months that I'd almost forgotten how crappy it was to walk along a busy street. Almost.         A bell over the door signaled my arrival at Flora’s, and a faraway greeting floated out from the back of the store somewhere. Instead of trying to track down the owner of the voice and the shop, I took up a casual position against the front counter and dinged the bell. Another muffled reply was my only response. Curious, I dinged it again. This time, the response was gruffer, but still faraway. I did a quick visual sweep of the store to make sure I was alone, a devious grin growing upon my face. Looking back towards the hallway leading to the back room, I dinged the bell about a dozen times as fast as I could. I could hear muffled vulgarities being hurled at me, but it still sounded really distant. I was debating doing it again when a very angry looking green mare charged out of the hallway. The faraway sounding voice was most likely caused by the gas-mask Flora wore, which explained why I'd heard no warning sound of approaching hooves. Upon seeing me standing on the other side of her counter with a goofy grin, Flora held her angry gaze for a second longer before she sighed and shook her head. She mumbled something under her breath that I didn’t catch, but it probably wasn’t nice.         Setting the mask on the counter, Flora rang up my order; a single long-stemmed Aurora Blue.         “That’s sixty bits, plus three bits for every time you rang that stinking bell.”         “Wait, what? But I rang it like fifteen times?”         “Sucks for you. A hundred and five bits, please.”         “That’s not fair… I don’t even get a warning?”         Flora pointed at the wall behind her, not even batting an eye. There on the wall was a framed poster with big block letters spelling out “After the staff responds to the bell, each additional ring will be charged at the rate of three bits each”.         “Well, damn. Looks like I need to read more often. Alright, here you go then.  One-oh-five.”         I piled the bits neatly on the counter, counting for myself to ensure that I was paying the right amount. Once I had satisfied myself that it was the proper amount, I drew back from the pile of bits. Flora swept them off the counter and into the till, apparently taking my word for it that the bits were all there. Flora hoofed over the Aurora, ensconced in a glass cylinder with the lid taped shut for freshness. Seeing the flower in all of its shifting, luminous glory, I didn’t even mind the extra cost. I carefully packed the flower so that it wouldn’t shift much during the flight to the meadow. Satisfied with the arrangement of everything, I took to the skies as gently as I could before setting a course for the ancient oak in the center of the meadow. I didn’t even bother touching down in the meadow, alighting on a branch like a bad parody of a bird. I sought and found a protected nook of the tree in which to wedge the glass cylinder for the night. When we returned to Ponyville after the concert, I would fetch the flower from the tree and present it to Joy, along with the ring. With everything in place, I returned home to wait for Joy to get off of work.         It was half past seventeen when the door opened and closed, signaling Joy’s return. I remained seated on the couch, waiting for her to come to me so I could spring my “trap” on her. Creatures of habit that we are, she did just that. Emerging from the foyer with a tired smile, she’d never looked more beautiful. I smiled back at her, patting the cushion next to me. She obliged, favoring me with a tender kiss as she did so. Using the kiss to my advantage, I reached behind my back and pulled out the tickets, holding them just a few centimeters from Joy’s face. The kiss broke, and she immediately took note of the tickets. Words cannot convey the gambit of emotions running through me as she saw the tickets. Her expression went from confusion, to comprehension, to shock, happiness, and finally to wonderment.         “Dave, are these what I think they are?”         “Hard to say. What do you think they are?”         “Tickets to see Octavia in concert, in Canterlot.”         I was smiling from ear to ear at her delight. “Then yes, they are. But no, they aren’t.”         “You have no idea how excited I am right now. What do you mean they are but aren’t? When is the concert?”         “They aren’t just tickets. These are front and center. The front and center. But that’s not all; look at the back of it.”         I half expected the ticket to be ripped from my grip as Joy eagerly flipped it over, but this was not the case at all. Ever so gently, and with a slight tremble, Joy surrounded the ticket in a blue aura and turned it over. She brought a hoof to her mouth in shock, and then both hooves were pressed against her muzzle as a tear slid down her cheek.         “You… you got us backstage passes to see Octavia?”         “I did. I wanted to treat you to something special, and then I remembered how much you like her music. It was a bit of a hassle, but I made it happen.”         Joy said nothing to this; she gently set the ticket on the coffee table and sweetly wrapped her arms around me. This was a nice departure from the recent string of bone-crushing embraces. She held me close and wept tears of happiness, thanking me again and again. I gave up trying to tell her that she didn’t need to thank me, choosing instead to stay silent and hug her back. She was the first to pull away, wiping her tears with a smile.         “Dave, have I ever told you how awesome you are?”         “Now that you mention it, no. You haven’t. However, you should hold that thought for another minute or so.”         Doubt flashed in her eyes, however briefly. “Well, that doesn’t sound good. Is this all some form of incredibly elaborate ploy for forgiveness?”         “You overestimate me. No, I haven’t messed up recently. Anywho, you may want this.”         I leaned over the armrest of the couch to pick up the dress from Rarity, presenting the fancy gift-wrapped box to Joy. Tenderly, she pulled off the ribbons and opened the seams to expose the content. As soon as her eyes fell upon the silky black fabric, they grew as wide as saucers. She pulled the dress from the box to get a closer look at it, turning it this way and that to catch the light. Breathlessly, and with her eyes still fixed on the dress, she whispered that she loved the dress.         “So, tell me again, Joy… how awesome am I?”         The dress was gently placed back into the box it’d come from, and the box itself was set on the coffee table, next to the tickets. Without a word, Joy pressed herself forward, her lips dancing against mine as she pulled me into her embrace. She broke the kiss with a smile, looking at me with a steamy smile. Oh. Crap.         Seeing my reaction didn’t seem to deter her at all. She neither drew closer nor pulled away, instead electing to maintain her precarious perch as she leaned forward to whisper in my ear.         “When you are ready, so am I.”         I don’t think I’ve ever turned red so quickly in my life. Joy giggled like a school filly, abandoning her perch as she pulled away from me and allowed me to excuse myself to the bathroom. I returned a few moments later, after having regained control of myself to an acceptable degree. Joy was right about where I'd left her, save that she’d turned to face the coffee table and was slowly turning a ticket over and over again, studying every detail. I sat down next to her with a smile, and she leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek before speaking up.         “Sorry about that, Dave. I’m just… so overwhelmed by all of this. This is the sweetest thing that anypony has ever done for me… I want to do something super special for you, to repay you for your kindness. I care so very, very much about you and I don’t know how else to show it… I’m no good at this relationship-stuff.”         “It’s fine, love. I understand entirely, and believe me when I say that it’s reciprocal. But trust me when I say that when the time is right, you’ll have no doubt about it.”         “I believe you… I just don’t like waiting.”         I fought the urge to sigh. “I know, me neither. However—“         “Then why are we?”         “Somewhere along the lines I picked up this terrible disease called ‘morals’. I guess I’m just trying to be better than who I was.”         Joy pouted in that adorable manner of hers. “That’s no fun.”         “Tell me about it. But, all good things in time, okay?”         “Do I have a choice?”         I shook my head. “Nope.”         “Well then. I suppose I’ll have to wait then. So, how are we getting to Canterlot?”         “Ah, that you’ll have to wait and see for yourself. You wouldn’t believe me anyways. Heck, I barely believe it myself.”         “Have I mentioned that I dislike waiting with fervor?”         I smiled my cocky half smile at her, something I was doing entirely too frequently as of late. “Well, don’t wait with fervor. Wait with Dave. Problem solved.”         “I’m going to thump you one… “         “Alright, calm down. Just know that it will be worth the wait.”         “That doesn’t help.”         Shrugging was all I could do. “It’s all I’ve got, Joy.”         “Okay, okay. Fine. What else are we going to do while we’re there?”         “Be patient, and you will find out.”         Joy groaned in frustration, causing me to smile. She’s too cute for her own good, even when she’s frustrated. She continued attempting to glean information from me in this manner for the rest of the evening, eventually tiring herself out and giving up. For the first time in way too long, I was able to brush Joy’s mane as she fell asleep. Oh, how I missed that sensation. Soon enough, I found myself falling prey to the call of the sandmare as well. I put away the brush Rarity had given me, snuggling myself a little closer to Joy. The feeling of her body pressed against mine was better than any lullaby, and before I knew it, I was out like a light.         That night, I saw Luna again. The dream was the same as ever, with the regal mare perched atop a cloud in the eaves of the sky. With everything that had happened to me over the last five months, I'd almost forgotten about that night in the hospital where I'd spilled my guts to the Moon Princess. As I found myself sitting on the cloud again, everything came flooding back to me in vivid detail, and I remembered everything.         I wasn’t sure if I was going to be banished to the moon, simply excommunicated from Equestria, or if some other and more terrible fate awaited me. The weeks immediately following the confession to Luna were filled with my paranoid mind’s machinations as it feverishly spat out any and every possible worst-case scenario. I'd gotten so fed up with my own paranoia that I'd finally just said “to hell with it” and resigned myself to my fate. After all, the Princess would only do what was best for Equestria, and I would simply have to trust her judgment. And if that judgment was that Equestria would be better off without me in it, then so be it. I pushed my worry from my heart once more, peaceful resignation sweeping over me.         It had been five months… if Luna had wanted me gone, I would have been gone long ago. Though my logic was sound, I was unable to entirely shake my concerns and trepidations. There were all sorts of questions that I did not want to answer, and I was positive I'd have to answer several in the very near future. I sighed heavily, trying to purge the last of the anxiety out of my chest, to no avail.         I sensed a shift in the air pressure to my right, and I knew without looking that I'd been joined by the Princess of the Night herself.         Here goes nothing…         The silence stretched on for an apparent eternity, awaiting the questions that hummed through the air like the crackle of electricity. In five words, the charge built up and struck deep into the very heart of the issue at hoof.         “When will you tell her?”         I hung my head. Of all the questions I'd wanted to avoid, that one was the one I'd most wanted to avoid.         “I assume you refer to a full disclosure. Honestly, I’m not sure, your Majesty. I’m terrified of the consequences… I don’t know what I'd do if she left me.”         “Dave, you and I both know better. You would pick up the pieces and… how do you use this expression? You would ‘Charles Michael’?”         “Close. Charlie Mike, drive on.”         “You have several odd phrases that confuse me. Please, elaborate on this one?”         “Yes, your Majesty. Charlie and Mike are letters from the phonetic alphabet, corresponding to ‘c’ and ‘m’, respectively. Those letters in turn are shortened versions of the words ‘continue mission’, which means to pick yourself up, dust off, and get back to what you were doing before you were sidetracked.”         “I should have known that such an odd phrase would require a lengthy explanation.”         I shrugged, nodding a bit. “Yeah, most likely. And I’m not sure that I'd be able to just ‘charlie mike’ after something like that. How would I even tell her? That’s not something you can just drop on somepony and expect it to be fine.”         “All of those are fine questions, and the answer to them lies within you. You know what needs to be done, and you will know when the time has come to bring these things to light.”         “Yes, Princess.”         “Dave, I do believe that we have already covered this topic. Princess is my title, not my name.”         “Ah, my apologies, Luna. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”         “It is quite obvious. Do you know what your Cutie Mark represents?”         I hadn't even thought of that thing in months.“My… oh. I have an idea, but it is probably wrong.”         “I doubt it very much that you would not know what the symbol pertaining to your destiny means.”         “Well, when you put it that way… near as I can figure, it is pretty straight forward. The glass is only half full. What does a glass want, if not to be full? A cup that is less than full is missing part of itself; there is an empty space within. The hole in the side of the glass represents my nature, I think. It is a symbol of the greed that is inherent in my heart. You could pour all the water you like into the glass… it will never be full, never be satisfied. No matter how much I have, I will always want more. The drop of water coming out of the hole… I believe that it represents all the things I’ve taken for granted and lost because of my greed. Or at least, that’s what I see when I look at it.”         “Seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.”         “Actually, no. It just sort of came to me when I looked at it in the mirror for the first time.”         “That’s because the mark is a product of your soul; I'd be more concerned if you didn’t immediately know what it was. You wish to ask for Joy’s hoof in marriage tomorrow eve, correct?”         “Uh… yes, yes I do. How did you know?”         Luna favored me with a mysterious smile. “The night is my domain. You do not have to be asleep to dream, and your dreams are of particular interest to me. Most especially your dreams of this other world. Let me ask you something. Do you know why I decided to permit you to stay here?”         “I don’t suppose it’s my dashing good looks?” I punctuated my question with my best smile.         “Hardly. I chose to allow you to remain simply because I can see the good in you. And indeed, you have done much good in your short time here. You’ve saved a life, donated your time and energy to the school-foals, and continued to spread smiles wherever you go. You’ve proven that you fit in here. You have earned the right to stay by way of your deeds.”         “Thank you, Luna. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. Truly, it is a weight off of my shoulders.”         “I can only imagine. I must say, some of your fantasies of banishment were quite amusing. Dark and disturbing, yet humorous. Quite the odd mixture, that one.”         “Thanks?” I intoned.         “Indeed. I must bid thee farewell; there are others who need me more than you.”         “Ah, yes. Good Night, Luna.”         “Is there such thing as a bad night? Farewell, Dave.”         The dream around me dissipated like a ghost into fog as everything devolved into an amorphous mass of swirling mist. Soon, the mist began to fade and settle, revealing to me a verdant meadow, positively brimming with wildflowers. Perched atop a rise not far from me, Joy stood alone in the night. I approached her, once more awestruck by the way the moonlight gilded her every feature in quicksilver. Her mane did not seem to be merely reflecting the light of the moon, but rather to be amplifying and trapping it, making her mane appear to glow. I met Joy atop the rise, nuzzling her as I did so. In the peace and the coolness of the night, I smiled.         My alarm sounded at zero eight, a good deal later than usual for a Friday morning. Though we weren’t scheduled to be at Twilight’s until eleven thirty, we were both rushing to get ready for the day ahead. We needed not to hurry, for we had plenty of time to do everything that needed to be done to prepare for the day ahead, but our pent up anxiety made us entirely unable to do anything but stay in constant motion. Unfortunately, this resulted in us being completely prepared and ready by ten fifteen. Never before had I been so frustrated by the prospect of free time. An eternally long hour later, we departed for Twilight’s library, positively giddy to begin the day’s events. We arrived at the library precisely on time (at least according to Twilight, who seemed a little too pleased by this) allowing ourselves a bit of time for conversation before the chariot was to arrive. Fifteen minutes of small-talk later, the chariot arrived out front to collect its cargo. Now, I may have neglected to mention to Joy that we’d be flying in one of Celestia’s personal carriages, and Joy might have taken one look at the carriage and immediately bowed.         The lump on my head was totally worth it.         We bid Twilight a fond farewell, taking custody of the book whose imminent return to the Canterlot Archives was the premise for this entire excursion. The pilots of the carriage were as stone-faced as any I'd ever seen, rather effectively ruling out any form of idle chit chat with them. Once we were in the air, however, none of it mattered anyways. Joy and I were essentially glued to opposite sides of the carriage as we took in the spectacular vista unfolding below us. The carriage was moving at a very rapid pace for the entire duration of the flight, a testament to the stamina and conditioning of the pilots. It had only taken an hour from the time we took off until we were on the ground in Canterlot, a feat that boggled my mind. On the way to the concert, we made a slight detour to the archives to return the book, since it was mostly on the way and neither one of us wanted to be responsible for the book any longer than absolutely necessary.         It was just past thirteen hundred when the carriage pulled up in front of the concert hall; which was a positively massive structure adorned with flying buttresses and gargoyles, the whole nine yards. The entrance to the concert was a narrow strip of red carpet, bordered on either side by a mob of paparazzi. I mentally thanked Rarity once more for the fine garments she’d provided us with, ensuring that we didn’t stick out so badly in the company of so many fancy-pants ponies.         Apparently, it wasn’t every day that a royal sky carriage showed up to a concert, as evidenced by the nearly continuous light of flashbulbs going off as ponies feverishly snapped as many photographs as they could. The carriage door was opened by one of the pilots, permitting us an easy egress onto the red carpet.         Of all the things I had imagined myself doing as a pony, walking down the red carpet as if I belonged was not on the list. And yet, here we were. Joy was close by my side as we made our way to the doors of the concert hall, doing our best not to make eye contact with anypony on the other side of the velvet rope. The doors opened of their own accord as we drew near, and as soon as we were through the portal they sealed themselves behind us. In an instant, every trace of noise from the chaos outside had vanished completely; the silence was deafening.         The inside of the hall was dimly lit, creating an intimate atmosphere. An usher appeared from the shadows to collect our tickets, tearing off a stub as he led us to our seats. Joy and I were the subject of numerous envious glares as we took our seats  in the theater, due to the fact that we were seated quite literally dead center of the very first row. By the time we were settled into our seats, it was already thirteen thirty. The heavy red curtain was very nearly close enough to touch, and with ten minutes until show time, we could hear the sound of ponies and things being situated on stage. At five minutes till, all activity behind the curtain ceased and a single set of hoofsteps made their way to the center of the stage. I turned to steal a glance at Joy, and I was delighted to see the way that she was fixated on the curtain, excitement dancing in her eyes as if she was a child once more. The lights were dimmed and a hush swept across the audience.         A spotlight flared into existence, painting a bright disk on the curtain.         It was show time.