//------------------------------// // V. Supplemental, In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth // Story: Absolution // by Cynewulf //------------------------------// SUPPLEMENTAL AFTERPONY PROJECT STATUS: LUNA MODULE “STAR MOTHER” AfterPony Status 97% [Notes: Writings transcribed by Luna and Luna AfterPony Module 00 “Star Mother” into electronic form from parchment originals.] I. I felt the clues of that lost day In my bones, like the coming of a storm. The oncoming thunderhead, striking the ground Behind me with fire. So I ran, ran to the far corners of the world, Hid in the mountains and whispered for them To Fall on me, to hide me from Myself and the memories of past wrongs. In anger, I raised my hoof to do violence, And when it came down I hurt myself. A thousand fell at my side, Ten thousand at my right side But a million died in my war. Oh, the day that burns me with shame, I hide like a robber who prays for the night to come Contemplating forgiveness. II. Can there be forgiveness across time? After the days of wrong have passed— Given wrongs, lined up like a choice feast before me, Could I take them back like a foal at play Who has spoken out of turn? That ponies forget solves nothing; I do not forget. Celestia forgives but even in Love there is a darkness, at least on earth. To be twinned, is my wish. To be doubled, to have beside myself a sister to my own likeness, If only to send her back to walk the Firmaments and trace my Via Dolorosa Back to the garden in the stars, To come at last to that crossroads where love meets Insatiable curiosity, a disguise which Lust bears... A Second Luna to choose a second choice. III. It comes to me. I begin to understand the truth of my predicament. I cannot move past what I’ve done. Of course, everypony besides me has. It’s not a matter of actual blame put on my shoulders by other ponies. Far from it, for Twilight and her friends have all welcomed me. I am accepted in the hamlet of Ponyville, and the residents of Canterlot begin to greet me in the streets with some of the warmth they do Celestia. It is all I ever wanted, on that Night long ago. Night. Of course, I know there is no day or night among the stars. But my connection to Ithil is still strong even out in the darkest black of space. It seems appropriate that the evil came from me in the time I call my own. I say from me, for I think Celestia gives me too much credit, and herself not enough. It was not the Lunangrad Council that swayed me into sin. True, they led me down the path that I took, and it was by their suggestion that the fleets took to the air. It became a true war for the ages because of them. A million and a half, dead. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, old, young. Villages bombed, cities burning, forests leveled, plains blasted. But it all began with me. Inside of me were planted the seeds of the wider darkness. I called it a garden, but it was not. I suppose I felt whimsical when first I discovered it. The nebula was a kind of wonderland when I was younger. Back in those days, I was happy, and Equestria was not yet born. Ponies were few on the earth, and Alicorns such as my sister and me were still simply their friends. So I came into it as a child. It accepted me and my wide-eyed wonder with trembling and birth. It made for me the most beautiful visions! But of course, in the midst of all the adventure and beauty of the garden’s dreams, I did not realize that I was their source. The garden only uses what it finds. It took my memories of earth, with its waterfalls and adventurous ponies, and crafted tales for me as real dreams are wont to. I returned to it. When I was sad, or when I was restless among the little ponies of Equestria. And it never disappointed me, after all, did it? It never did. He never did. IV. My Heart has been full of things, Like a warehouse full of Faces and strange Events And I begin to fear that I shall never be rid of them all. V. It has been four weeks. I know Celestia is worried. She sent a note this morning by Twilight’s familiar. It was four pages long and was filled with all sorts of mundane reports of her doings. They made me happy. She described it all for me, and it reminded me of the game we used to play as younger ponies. We wrote each other stories and songs, and I always won. But she is worried. She says so. She was gentle, but I know it’s eating her up inside that I’m here all alone. Part of me wishes to wallow in self-righteous anger She fears that I will betray her. Part of me hangs its head. she knows that this is how it happened so long ago. The rest of me knows that it will be time to go home soon. I cannot run forever. Nopony can. But... perhaps I shall have an answer. VI. Night is not dark but rather it is A meeting of light and dark. I am in the waxing moon. Or is it the waning? Half light, the going either way, the Beginning of some terrible thing. Sister, tell me truly when I return What you think of day? Does it burn? The night freezes me. VII. It is time to go home. VIII. I am delayed by a dream. I must record it. I sat alone at the mouth of my chosen cavern. The moon was up, and full, illuminating the icy wasteland below. I took to the sky, feeling some pull from out in the wilderness on my heart. Following this compulsion, I soared over empty tracks of snow until at last the world itself began to change around me. The wind was no longer quite as cold. Below me was a strange and wonderful country, so bright and beyond Alicorns’ ken. Even now, it fades from my memory in mockery of all my attempts to nail it down and get a good eye for it. But I flew on and on until I came unto a bright golden pedestal in the sky, above the clouds. The moon was hanging in the sky so close that in waking life I would’ve panicked for everypony’s safety. Yet in the dream I was calm, as often I ease the fears of those I visit in the night. In this strange dream, I saw... I cannot write it here. It was beyond words. Too holy to be spoken, but I feel like I must. But... can I? Is it permitted? I saw the Song. I heard it too, like I did in the first days of my youth. It was the first Song, the one that began the world, and there Celestia and I and all of our kin. I saw us being born. And then I saw the Singer pick me up. My heart lept within me. But... there were two of me. In her hand, there were two of me. One was asleep and still as unto death, and the other was myself (somehow I knew this) and that one sang as best it could with its still-unformed voice. And then I woke, panting in the night and drenched in sweat. I have agonized about my many sins. I have wept over them many times and wished that there could be a way to go back and do it all again. Or to be replaced, or for someone to go in my stead and do what must be done. But what if I could? What if that is the answer? A second Luna. What if my foolishness was indeed the answer? Was it all spelled out in the Song, and I forgot? If only I knew! But I have lost so much of that golden melody. Celestia has more of it. Our sister Eon kept it all in her heart. But I have lost it in great part. It lies somewhere on the moon. But it could be done. Equestria’s magic has come far. Her technology has surpassed the steam of my own days. Electricity is becoming more and more commonplace, and earth ponies who once were held in wordless awe of the magic of foals now command light with impunity. Pegasi who once were tied to Unicorn masters can now grow their own food in the clouds. Had I not seen this last revelation with my own eyes, I would have never believed it. I return home with an answer. Surely, in the years that come, there will be a way for me to find peace. I will discover or make or summon this twin, this Second Luna. And then history will happen as it should have, and I will have my absolution.