The next day:
It was useless, every time I tried to forget any feelings for Fluttershy, an event would make me change my mind.
It's all my fault, I am very weak-minded, I can never find a reason to do the things I should, and that goes for my studies too.
She's all I want, even if we are too different, I don't picture my life without her. It's completely useless, I can't fight it anymore.
I'm in love with her, too damn much.
I want her to know it too, but what would happen if she did? Maybe her shyness comes to the point of not being able to love somepony (or someone) else just out of fear. But I wanted to tell her so bad, that the phrase itself was making a knot in my throat, and I felt that if I don't tell her now, I wouldn't be able to do it never.
There had to be a way to tell her, but I couldn't find it, until then...
I woke up in the morning, way earlier than ever, the sun was about to show up in the horizon. I had trouble sleeping that night, nervous and worried for something, but I didn't catch what. I looked at my cellphone to check the hour.
Then an idea occured to me. I put on some clothes and was about to leave the bed, but I remembered what happened the day before. So I descended slowly, to prevent any noise.
"Gotta remember this is a bunk bed." I thought.
I went to the living room. Where the girls were sleeping. I approached them with caution, and tried to wake Fluttershy up without bothering the others. A few minutes passed but she was still asleep, so I boldly kissed her on the cheek that made the trick.
With Fluttershy awake, I had to keep going with my plan, when she asked me what was happening I just told her to follow me. Then I went to the door, waited there for her to get up, and left the house, making sure that she was following me.
I went to the shore of the lake, meters ahead from the pegasus.
"I'm sorry I brought you here at this time. But there's something you have to know." I told her once she catched up to me.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked groggily and worried.
"No no, everything's fine." I answered.
"Then what's up?"
"Well, I..." I couldn't make up the rest of the phrase, I was blocked. Some seconds passed, so I tried to take a way around, while doing some stoneskipping to keep my mind from over thinking. "How do you feel about love, Fluttershy?" I asked innocently.
"W-what? Why all of a sudden...?" She gasped.
"I'm just asking, if you don't want to reply, then don't worry." I said.
"U-u-um, I uh..." she stammered.
"Have you experienced it?"
"Well, I-I don't think so..."
"Did you like somepony once?" I was asking too much, making her uncomfortable.
"W-what's with all the questions?" she finally asked worried "Why can't you tell me what's happening?"
I rubbed my forehead to think and stopped with the stoneskipping.
"You're right, there's no point in delaying it anymore." I said throwing away the remaining stones.
"What are you talking about?"
I looked at her, completely serious, stretching the confession would be harder, so I simply said:
"I think I'm in love with you."
Her eyes opened as double as wide, her mouth went agape too; this mere instants were critical to know how she would react. But I wasn't able to figure out what would she do.
"Y-you are?" she asked.
"I believe so." I said "Everytime I'm around you, I feel great, and I just wished you'd never leave. But that's impossible. You have to return to Equestria."
"Well, that's true." she said.
"Besides, something between us would be strange."
"Why do you think that?"
"And you ask too? Look at us! I'm a human!" I pointed a finger to my chest, then pointed at her "And you are a pegasus pony! We're completely different! This isn't right!" I felt stupid just repeating the same thing over and over.
She looked bashfully.
"But I can't help it anymore, despite how much wrong it can be, I can't deny it. I don't care about anything else now." I said.
"You know, there's something I have to tell you too." Fluttershy said.
"I'm listening." my heart was racing, I was imagining what she would say.
She took a breath before speaking:
"I had noticed something in you about me, for the time I was... stuck here... no offense!" she apologized.
"None taken." I dismissed with a wave of my hand.
"I figured out that if you were such a fan of me, there would come a time in which your feelings would grow stronger."
"You're right." I said "First I thought it would be impossible, because until then, you weren't real."
"Exactly. But now that you know that I am, you made up your mind that something could happen." she explained. Something was odd, this event was not taking the way I planned it to go.
"Something could happen? Are you implying something?" I asked.
"There is no easy way to tell you this, but..." She took another breath.
"But what?"
She sighed.
"I don't feel the same way about you."
At this point, I felt my heart giving one last beat before going mute, it was like it broke itself.
I couldn't believe it, how could I be so blind? Why would she look at me the same way I do about her? There was nothing about me that was remarkable, nothing! NOTHING! And yet, I entered into this game like a fool, I didn't pay attention to my brain, like I should have. How could I be so stupid?!
"HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID!?" I screamed "IT WAS SO CLEAR ALL THE TIME! AND I FELL FOR IT ANYWAY!"
"Calm down! It's not your fault!" she tried to calm me.
"Is it not Fluttershy!? I'm always trying to play the game of love, but there are times where I don't even qualificate for it!"
"What are you trying to say?"
"What I try to say, is that all the time I make myself ideas over nothing, and all my feelings get shattered because they will never become real!"
"I'm sorry, but I was just hoping that it wasn't true." she said.
"It's okay, it's not YOUR fault, it's mine."
"It's not yours either!"
"Oh yeah? Tell me how." I asked angry "Tell me how!"
"Because we don't choose who we fall in love with!"
"W-w-what?" I asked in surprise, and I remembered something:
"WE CAN'T CHOOSE WHO WE FALL IN LOVE WITH." That exact phrase was the one I wrote in my last (to date) fanfiction about MLP, I don't remember where did I get the inspiration for writing it. And maybe it's an overused sentence anyway, but despite the fanfic not being popular, it was still the deepest thing I've written.
"Are you okay?"
"Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine." I guessed that in the process of remembering, my mind left my body for a while "I just remembered something."
"What?"
"Nothing important."
"Nothing important at this point?" she asked strangely.
"Don't ask, I already feel bad as of now."
"Okay then. I'm sorry it had to play out like this." she said.
"No no, it's fine. If you didn't stop me who would?" I said with an empty smile.
"Will you be okay?" she asked unsure.
"In time, I will. Don't worry." I assured her "And thanks for taking me out of this fantasy before I did something stupid. Let's just hope she doesn't remember the kiss on the cheek." I thought.
"It's fine." she said with a worried expression.
She turned around and walked to the house, I stayed still watching her go, until a question occured to me.
"Fluttershy wait!" I ran to her midway to the house.
"What's the matter now?" she asked.
"I have to know, why is it that you don't feel the way I feel about you?"
She was taken aback by the question, and started fidgeting in her place.
"Is it because of a stallion? Do you like somepony else?" I asked, she was getting more and more nervous "It's that, is it? You already like somepony." I insisted.
"Oh please don't make me say it!" she squeaked.
"It's Big Mac isn't he?" I grabbed her front leg with force, I was out of myself, the mere mention of that guy made me angry.
"Please Flare don't make this harder for us!" she gasped after finishing her sentence.
"What?" I released her in surprise. "What did you just call me?"
She had her hooves on her mouth, keeping it shut, but it was too late, the name slipped from her lips.
I walked back and forth a while before asking her.
"Since when did you know about my stories?"
"Since you started reading to Twilight that 'bible'. I remembered that you mentioned to us that you wrote some stories like that, so I wanted to check them." she explained.
"And here I thought none of you saw them." I said defeated, and kicked the ground, lifting dirt.
"I'm sorry but...!"
"Please leave me alone for a while. I need to think."
She did so, and entered the house, while I headed back to the lake.
I was angry, mad, and what's more, Fluttershy called me by my OC's name. But calling me by another name wasn't what made me angry, it was that I couldn't be the one she called.
If I was Flaring, this would be much simpler, she'd lie eyes upon me for good. But that would mean that she has feelings for me, and she just told me she didn't. Was it because I was a human? What if I was a pony?
No, I'm delirious, one thing won't remove the other. I have to make up my mind, that my relationship with her will never come true.
I'd have to live with the wish. So once I reached the shore, I grabbed a handful of stones and threw them in the lake in a rant, and fell to the floor crying.