//------------------------------// // It. Is. On! // Story: When Good Sisters Go to War // by thehalfelf //------------------------------// It.  Is.  On!         Clink.  Clink.  Clink.  Clink.  Clink.  Clink.  Metallic hoofsteps echoed through the hallway, much to the chagrin of the owner, who was cringing with every step.  She extended a hoof, pushing against a door that responded by slowly opening, emitting a shrill shriek the whole while.  The pony cringed, afraid her adversary would hear.  After a few tense moments of constantly glancing over her shoulder, as soon as she decided no projectiles were headed her way, the pony walked into the dark room. The pony looked around, taking in her surroundings while at the same time looking for her target.  The darkness sapped the color from the once-blue room, though the lack of light showed the pinpricks of light that dotted the ceiling and walls, not unlike decorative stars and moons hung in the rooms of little foals. The pony grinned mischievously.   A bed stood in the center of the far wall, a moving bump in the middle of the thick blankets revealing the presence of her target.  Slowly, the mysterious pony stepped into the room, leaving the door open to prevent the obnoxious squeaking.  Silently thanking the architects for the carpeted floor, the pony made her way to the bed, and readied her strike. Minutes later, it was done.  Damage like this had ruined dynasties, toppled kingdoms, and decimated gods. All that was left now, was to wait. _--_--_--_--_--_     “Good morning, dearest sister, how fares thou this bright day?”  Princess Luna asked, groggily stumbling into the small breakfast chamber she shared with her sister, Princess Celestia.     A garbled, choked sound came from the head of the table, causing the blue alicorn to open her eyes fully and glance towards the head of the room.  Sitting at the small circular table was what she had come to expect.  In front of the windows that allowed one to view the Royal Gardens--and the half-regrown maze--was Princess Celestia, the monolith of white majesty in charge of the sun.     Sitting to her right, one third of the table down, was the draconequus, Discord, the newly-reformed Lord of Chaos.  Luna was skeptical at first, but the Elements had agreed, and he had not caused any significant problems, despite the multitude of opportunities to do so.  Now he served them as a sort of unofficial third wheel, not really a ruler, or even a citizen, but still a part of the royal group of advisors.     At the moment though, he was advising nothing.  Both Discord and her sister were lost in howling gales of laughter, causing both to sway and shake.  Their breaths came in shaky gasps, and for a moment, Luna feared they would both pass out from lack of air.     “What, may We ask, is so funny?”  Luna asked when the laughter didn’t die down after a few minutes, but instead seemed to resurrect every time the duo looked at her.         Celestia took a few deep, shuddering breaths, trying to calm herself enough to reply.  “Well you, uh, your, snicker snicker, you, uh, teehee, your, um, ahahaha...”  Eventually deciding she wouldn’t be able to answer verbally, Celestia pointed to a mirror.  With a sickening feeling worming its way into her stomach, Luna took several short steps until she was facing the mirror.     The world stood still.  Every single ear within fifteen miles swiveled towards the palace.  Guards bolted from their station, weapons drawn and magic primed to fight off whatever unspeakable evil had befallen their beloved princesses.  Every single thought was lost on the bellow still echoing off of the side of the Canterlot Mountain.         “CELESTIA!!!”     Guards burst into the room.  “Princess, is something wrong?  Woah!”  The guard ducked as a ball of white fur flew over him be before splaying her wings and gliding gently towards the ground.  A blue blur rocketed forward, swinging a hoof at Celestia, who ducked and rolled, ending up in a crouch on the floor.     Luna growled, launching herself at her sister once again, this time aiming to dive down on top of her.  Celestia gave a little smirk, grabbing Luna by the forehooves and whipping them around until the blue alicorn was lying on her back on the ground with her sister up above.  Leaning down, she blew a raspberry on the soft downy coat of blue fur, causing Luna to burst out into reluctant giggles before Celestia jumped up and dashed away once again.     “It is probably best if you stay back,” Discord advised the guards who were still standing shocked by the doorway.  The princesses were sisters, yes, but none--outside of a very few--had ever seen them act like they were.  It was always about the mask the two put on to the public.  To see the ageless alicorns act like, well, little filles, had the newer guards in a fit, and the veterans hardly able to keep their stony expressions.     A white unicorn with the laurels of a decorated officer ducked and weaved his way through the breakfast battlefield, dodging projectiles of egg and cheese and lettuce and all other manner of morning delights with an ease that spoke of practice until he stood shoulder to shoulder with the Lord of Chaos.         “What caused this one?” the unicorn asked.     “Well, it begun when Celestia did something to Luna, of which I had no hand in, I would like to point out, and it escalated as it usually did.  I believe the Mare of the Moon threw the first punch, or, should I say piece of toast.  Though if I were to judge now, I would say that Dear Celestia is winning.”  Discord clapped his hands with glee.  “I came to Canterlot expecting my days would be boring and chaos-free.  I did not expect chaos to be made for me, and by the princesses, no less.”     They both ducked under a flying plate, which shattered against the wall behind them.  “Princesses, please, calm down,” the white unicorn said, throwing up his hooves in exasperation.     Celestia and Luna both stopped, and as one, turned towards the unicorn.  “Captain Shining Armor, do you presume to order around royalty?”  Celestia asked with an icy tone not matching her station.     “N-No Your Majesty, of course not,” Shining Armor stuttered.  “I just don’t think that a... food fight... is the best way for Royalty to spend their time.”     Celestia looked at her sister, who was blinking away a stream of dressing sliding into her eye.  “You know, he may have a point,” the white alicorn said with a mischievous glint in her eye.     Her gaze was met by one from her sister.  As their eyes met, they both broke out into wicked grins.  “Are you thinking what We are thinking, sister?”  Luna asked.         “The usual rules?” came the reply.         “We believe so, yes.”  Discord and Shining Armor shared a look.  One was delighted, while the other was terrified.          Celestia and Luna clasped their hooves together, and recited as one, “A royal war declare We, though with friendship and honor it shall be.  As sisters, we swear: nothing that shall do excessive harm to the other, nor damage to the state, reputation, or anything ruled jointly unfair.  Exactly one Lunar month from now, the winner shall be declared, and loser shall accept graciously.  No mane or tail pulling, no biting, and no crying to mom.”     Discord clapped his hands, throwing back his head in a long laugh.  “Excellent.  Most excellent.  And what sort of war be this?”     “A prank war,” Celestia said, turning with her sister to face the other two occupants of the room--the other guards having fled once the commanding officer got hit straight-on with a tomato.  “And you two, will be the impartial judges.”     “Of course, Your Majesty,” Discord said, bowing over an arm.  “And what fun we shall have, right Mister Armor,” he added with a nudge at the white unicorn.         Shining Armor’s eye twitched.  “Crying... to mom...?”         The princesses looked at each other.  “Silence is an affirmative, yes sister?”  Luna asked.         “Of course.  Shall we begin tomorrow at dawn?”         Luna nodded.  “The mane does not count.”         “Awww,” Celestia whined, “but it was great...”     Luna looked back at the mirror, shuddering at the sight of her mane billowing straight up in the air, its usual stars replaced by pink cupcakes.  They were whirling and dancing around, occasionally bursting into flame when they ate a star that formed.         “No, sister, the mane does not count,” Luna repeated, turning to face Celestia.     Celestia sighed dramatically.  “Fine... tomorrow then.  No excuses.”  With a shared nod, the two left the food-splattered room, off to attend to royal duties, and mentally prepare the arsenal for the coming conflict.         Shining Armor looked over towards Discord.  “Wait.. did we just get roped into a prank war between two goddesses?”         Discord nodded.         Shining Armor promptly fainted.