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// Screw the Universe, I'm Going to Say That It Can't Get Any Worse 
// Story: TD's Little Rarity 
// by BronyWriter 
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"Sir I'm going to need you to step out of the car with your hands on your head."

I look over at Rarity who is huddled up in a ball on the seat. I take a deep breath. "And if I don't?" 

"If you don't you're only making it worse for yourself."

I let out a humorless caw of a laugh. "Making it worse? How can this possibly be worse?!" 

"Look just get out of the car." 

"Father, it may be best to do what they say," Rarity whispers. "I don't want you to get hurt." 

I look at her and slowly pat her on the head. "Okay," I say quietly. "It'll be okay." I'm more saying that to me than her at this point since both of us know darned well that it isn't. "Okay, I'm coming out!" I slowly open the door and come out with my hands on my head as instructed. I flinch back at the sight of no less than thirty guns pointed directly at me, some of them a bit larger than a standard pistol. 

I am immediately surrounded by four cops, one of whom handcuffs me pretty quickly. Two other cops slowly walk over to the car and look inside, eliciting a gasp from one of them. "DUDE! It's Rarity!"

The other one frowns at him. "Rarity? Isn't that one of the characters from that My Little Pony show your daughter watches?" 

"My...?" The first cop pauses and clears his throat. "Oh yes... ha ha... my daughter watches that show, that's right."

I have to suppress a chuckle despite myself. "He's a closet Brony," I call out to the other cop. 

Both cops turn to me, one with a bewildered look and the other with a look that clearly says 'DUDE!!! What the heck?!'

The other cop turns to his partner. "Seriously, Frank?"

Frank chuckles nervously. "Uh... maybe." 

"He totally does," I call out.

"Seriously, dude you have to stop that!" says Frank. 

"You're arresting me. No." 

Frank frowns at me and turns to the car. "Okay, we gotta get her outta there and figure out what to do next. I mean, that's a living cartoon character in that car."

"Who do we call about that?" asks Frank's partner. 

Frank shrugs. "Hard to say. Let's just get them both to the station and we can figure it out from there." 

The cops holding on to me begin dragging me towards one of their cars just as four more cops surround the car. One of them opens the passenger door and I hear Rarity squeal in terror. 

"YOU STUPID JERKS, SHE'S JUST A KID!" I screech, struggling to get out of the grasp of the cops. It doesn't matter as I see Rarity getting dragged out of the car in the grasp of Frank. She's struggling to get out of his grip but he's holding on too tight and she can't, even though she's charging her horn for a likely ineffectual spell. 

FATHER, HELP ME!!!" she screams. 

That surprisingly makes Frank look a bit uncomfortable. "Uh, let's put them in the same car," he says nervously. The other cops shrug and he walks over to the car I'm currently being forced into. He reaches it in only a moment and Rarity is put next to me before he shuts the door. 

Rarity squeals in terror and wraps her forelegs around me. "Father, where are they taking us?" she whines. 

"Just to the police station. They're...they're not going to hurt us or anything."

"Are they going to keep us there forever? What's going to happen to us?"

"I..." I take a deep breath to steady myself. "I don't know." My voice cracks at the end of that. I really don't have any idea of what is going to happen to us. Ignoring the fact that I'll probably get jail time for running from the cops not to mention expelled from school, I'll have completely failed in my duty to protect Rarity from exactly this in every way. Lord knows what her life is going to be like now since there is no way they're just going to let the two of us go. Even if they did, there's still the Bronies to contend with. We'd have to go into hiding to avoid that and how would that work? 

"I hate this," whines Rarity. "I hate how they won't leave us alone."

"Me too, Rarity. Me too."


*  *  *  *


We reach the police station in twenty minutes or so. Rarity cries when they separate us and I can't do a single thing about it. I'm unarmed, handcuffed, and in a police station and she doesn't really have powerful magic. This is a hopeless situation and we both know it. 

The cops adjust my handcuffs so that my hands are in front of me and lead me to an interrogation room. I have no idea where Rarity is after they separate us and I don't know what they're going to do with her. I'm almost thankful for Frank at this point because there is no way in heck that he is going to allow anybody to hurt her. 

The cops let me stew for an hour or so in the interrogation room before somebody finally comes in. I'm kind of freaked out to see that it isn't two cops, but what appear to be two FBI agents, one man and one woman. Man, this just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?

"Mr. Powell," says the man. "I'm Special Agent Johnson and this is Special Agent Tanner. We understand that the filly was in your care when you were arrested."

"Where's Rarity?" I growl. 

"We haven't hurt her, nor will we," says Agent Tanner. "It would hardly be prudent for us to do such a thing. If more of her kind came into our world and saw that we had mistreated her we would have a crisis on our hands."

"It's too late for that," I reply. "Do you seriously think that Princess Celestia and the rest of the Mane Six aren't going to find a way to get her? You've already done enough to get them nice and pissed off at you. Good luck surviving the wrath of an immortal sun goddess." 

"Queen Chrysalis didn't seem to have a problem with her," Agent Johnson mutters. 

Oh for Pete's sake!

"How many Bronies are there around here?!" 

"Agent Johnson is not a Brony, he watches the show with his two daughters," Agent Tanner insists. 

"You really fell for that?" I ask. I turn to Agent Johnson. "Who is best princess?"

"Lu--" He catches himself before he can finish but the damage is done. He clears his throat and puts a folder down on the table. "Any allegiances I might have to the NLR are hardly important right now. What is important is that we handle this delicately." 

"I assume that means sending Rarity to a government facility for testing, covering it up as a hoax, and putting me away forever for knowing a government secret that big?" 

"Doesn't have to be that way," says Agent Tanner. "We can make it so that this doesn't completely ruin your life. You either get expelled from school and do jail time for running from the cops and assaulting a fellow student or you keep quiet about it and we drop the charges and even toss more than a little cash your way to keep it quiet."

"And Rarity?"

"That's our business," says Agent Tanner. 

"You know I'm her father figure here, right? I took care of her for almost a month and I'm her protector."

Agent Tanner opens her mouth to respond, but a third agent opens the door and hands Agent Johnson a note. He scans it for a second before turning to the other agent. "Are you sure about this?" he asks. The other one nods and leaves. Agent Tanner is handed the note and Agent Johnson turns to me. "We talked to your ex-roommate and he revealed some interesting tidbits that change everything."

"How so" I ask nervously. 

Agent Tanner's hand is over her mouth at the note and Agent Johnson sits down across from me. "So, you were in Equestria for two months then."