Argh, getting owned by a pink fluffy pony was not fun especially when you’re a badass carnivore.
“Yay! You deserve a party!” She yelled, bouncing on my back. I groaned in disgust and dismay. This was one hell of a way to wake up.
“For what? Almost killing your friend?” I snarled as I slowly got up, the rest of them moved back in response. I groaned, my legs felt immensely sore after that rodeo session.
“Not that, silly! For giving me a funtastic ride!” I sighed, as I reached my true height. I shook my snout in dismay again, and stretched my short arms as far as I can.
“You called that fun? I called that fuckin’ terrible!” I exclaimed as I looked down upon them.
“Don’t be a total meanie! Have some fun!” I groaned, this was going to be one hell of a day.
“Ahem, Pinkie I think it’s best if you back away from it. Like right now?” said the lavender unicorn. I grimaced.
“You still think I’m a dangerous beast after being bested by a pink fucking demon?” They nodded, to my dismay. “Great, just great…”
“U-um, mister Ethan?” I turned my attention to Fluttershy. “Th-these are my friends…”
“Uh huh, I figured that out when I was being used as a rodeo machine,” I remarked, still staring at the one they called ‘Pinkie’. Honestly, I think her name should be ‘Crazy Sunovabitch’ instead of something lame like ‘Pinkie’. But then again, I can’t argue with cartoonish ponies.
“S-so… you want me t-to introduce you to them…?” I nodded, nothing hurts, right?
“Umm,” she walked over to the lavender one, who I just noticed her hooves trembling. “Th-this is Twi-twilight Sp-sparkle…” Ah, so that was who she was. Luckily, she was not a vampire.
“You’re the one the fillies told me about. Nice to meet you,” I tried my best to be extremely polite, but polite isn’t exactly who I was.
“H-hi, mister…?” she stammered, obviously a small sentient being had the right to be scared in front of a prehistoric, bloodthirsty beast.
“Ethan, all of you can call me Ethan,” I grunted, hopefully this will ease their misconception about me being evil.
“Oh boy! I like this guy! Can he be my pet?!” ‘Pinkie’ said causing Fluttershy and me to groan in dismay.
“Umm, Pinkie I think that’s a bad idea to keep a talking creature at Sugarcube Corner, more or less in town,” she said, I nodded in approval.
“Use that brain of yours and think. Even I wouldn’t just wander into town like this,” I responded to the pink maniac obviously displeased at the idea of being a pet of a wacko.
“But pleassseeee? I’ll feed him everyday before he eats someone!” I grunted again, on the verge of just walking back into the Everfree.
“Look, I’m a dinosaur and you guys are ponies. What would all of react if you just saw a big fucking lizard in town? Throw flowers at it? Beg for an autograph?” I said, getting frustrated at Pinkie’s tenacity.
“Um, we did had a certain incident like that. Except it wasn’t a di-no-saur. It was a dragon, my assistant to be precise,” said Twilight. Great, now I’ve something to be worried about, a bad reputation.
“Perfect! Something else to be worried about!” I said, louder than usual.
“Jeez, I didn’t know you were so-
“Shut the fuck up! I ain’t talkin’ to you!” I roared back, causing them to cover their ears. “I’m tired, homesick and starving! Don’t torture me until I find my breakfast!” I turned around, with Rainbow hovering away from my tail, and began walking back to the forest to hunt a proper breakfast.
Meanwhile, the five of them were wondering what really ticked the big creature named ‘Ethan’ off when Fluttershy perked up.
“Y-you guys are s-so mean to him! I know he’s a predator but look what he said! He’s n-not obviously from a-around here and he o-only wants to go home…!” she said, angry at her friends.
“Chill, Fluttershy! He’s like that talking shark again! So we’ll handle him the same, right Twilight?”
“Rainbow, he’s not a shark, he’s a di-no-saur. So I think that means we have to change our plans on how to handle him,” said Twilight as she looked on to Ethan leaving the scene.
“Man, this guy makes Mike a bunny! I mean, look at him!” Rainbow said as she trailed the dinosaur into the foliage.
“Now dear, I think it’s best if we leave him alone. I don’t like forests anyway, too icky!” Rarity said, as Fluttershy stared at her in disgust.
“And all y-you think about is yourself!” she snapped. Soon after, they heard the roar of the dinosaur once again as it found itself a new prey.
“Oh no, he’s at it again…” She looked on towards the footprints left by Ethan with concern whether the large dinosaur can handle himself.
“I think we should follow him this time round, maybe we can get something out of watching him do whatever he does!” Twilight said, the rest exchanged glances before they nodded. It was risky, but worth the trouble.
---
Finally, something easy! I looked at the bear looking at me in terror. I wanted to sink my jaws into it the second I found it.
“You’ll make a good meal for me…” I growled, smiling maniacally at the terrified ursine.
I don’t remember what happened in the next ten minutes, but I was very full and about the bear? Completely shredded and torn to itty bits. I licked my snout in delight and began to walk towards the nearby river where I ate the hydra to clean my muzzle before I go back to the path and continue my observation, hopefully without the interruption by five irritating ponies.
---
“Dear Celestia, that’s worst then what the shark did to those fishes!” commented Rainbow as she threw up again, the rest looked on with disgust.
“Oh dear, I… think I’m going to- Rarity fainted dramatically.
“I told ya’ll! That talkin’ lizard is goin’ ta kill us all!” Applejack complained as they watched Ethan leave the carcass of the bear behind.
“O-oh my… Poor mister Bear….” commented Fluttershy, horrified at what her dinosaur friend was really capable of.
“Yay! I don’t want him anymore!” they all looked at Pinkie, had she finally gotten back to her moral senses? “I NEED him!” A bunch of groans were heard.
“But Pinkie! He just brutally mauled and ate a BEAR for Celestia’s sake!” Twilight said to her mentally deranged friend.
“That makes it double the NEED factor!” she shrieked in delight, then hopped out of the bush and vanished into thin air.
“Oh no, Pinkie’s going to get mutilated!” Twilight responded to the situation, the rest stood rooted in their position, still in shock at the brutality of the Spinosaurus.
“Argh! I’ll do it myself then!” she snapped and went off to find that maniac of a pink pony.
---
I dipped my snout into the river, happy with my breakfast. I then took this time to scold myself, this isn’t me anymore! I’m just a shell of a man, being replaced by the inside of a dinosaur!
“Please, let me return home… PLEASE!” I shouted underwater, the fishes surrounding me swam away as fast as they could. I sighed, then pulled my head out of the blood stained water, reminding myself of the hydra which was long gone. It was then I sensed something dangerous. I turned around and scanned the area to find nothing.
“Hiya!” I roared, the pink menace was on my neck again.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT AGAIN?!” I shouted, very pissed off. How did she even track me down?
“It’s obvious, silly! I want you to be my pet! Please…?” She begged, and I shook my head.
“Fuck no! Fuck you all and fuck you especially!” I said and walked off further into the Everfree.
“Aww, don’t be a meanie! I’ll be your best friend FOREVER!” I shuddered, even for a man like me, this made the strongest scared. I was dealing with a goddamned psycho!
“NO! AND THAT IS FINAL!” I shouted again, stopping to shake lose the pony.
“Please? Pretty please?” her face was now directly staring into my soul. The fluffy mane, the ridiculousness of her coloring and her fucking eyes made me want to puke.
“No, no and no!” I shouted as she continued to stare into my soul. “I will not be your damned pet! I just want to go back home!”
“PLEASE?” Oh no, she was doing her own damn version of Fluttershy’s puppy eyes. Why torture me? Why don’t you torture that damned shark?
I roared once again, and opened my maw. She didn’t react.
“Ooh! Nice teeth you have!”
“Go… away… now,” I growled, ready to gut her into two.
“Not until you become my bestest friend! You and Gummy can be brothers!” Who the fuck is Gummy? Some sort of mental projection for herself?
“Who’s Gummy? Anyway, it’s not like I…fucking care!” I wanted to chomp her head off like right now.
“My pet ‘gator! Silly! That’s why I wanted you as my pet! You and him can do lots of amazing brotherly stuff!” What? She kept a alligator as a pet? No wonder why she wants me that badly.
“And my final answer is…” Her eyes opened wide at the prospect of me being her slave forever. Then I struck, my jaws snapped shut. Hopefully it caught that bitch. “In my stomach where you belong!”
“Whoa! Nice bite force you have there!” What the fuck? I thought I killed her!
“Where did you go?!” I screeched in rage. At this stupid revelation, I did the only logical thing I could do to get away from a living breathing pink fluffy demon.
Fucking run.
I panted heavily, my footsteps could be heard almost a mile away as I crashed through the dense foliage hoping to lose the pink predator in the process. It took my five minutes before I reached the border of town, my form now very, very visible. But I didn’t care until she lost her interest.
“Hah! Look who’s the losing one!” I taunted, and that was the worst thing I could ever say on the border of Ponyville.
Great, I blew my hours of efforts to stay undetected.
It caused several far away ponies, one mint colored and one very familiar red stallion, to look at my direction. All it took was three seconds before I heard their screams of fear as they dropped everything they had and were doing to get away from me. But I was going to be screaming in fear too as I heard her voice next to my ears.
“You are!”
WHY?!
---
Kendra sat in the security room in disbelief, watching the video clip of when Ethan disappeared. It showed him pulling out the ladder from the janitorial room, climbing up the ladder saying something incomprehensible and then his hand reaching out for the glowing orb.
Then just like that, he was enveloped in a flash of light and was gone from this plane of reality.
She didn’t know what to do, but to die silently inside. He was her best friend in this museum and she didn’t even acknowledged his attempts to woo her.
And now she regretted it, for her friend was gone for probably an eternity. This only left her two choices, either to call the police or dial up an old friend for comforting.
She choose the second one, the former she didn’t pick was because the cops would most likely call her a psycho and dismiss the case as a joke.
Scrolling through the list of numbers on her Nokia, she finally found the friend she was looking for. Clicking the number, she eagerly awaiting for his response.
“’Ello, this is Dave ya talkin’ to. Sorry, am a little busy with sum' stuff so leave me a message!" She wanted to sob, her second option was gone like that. But then a crazy idea popped up in her head.
Something that will change everything, and will most likely to drive her mad. What if she touched it too? And what if that brought him home? She paused and went back out to the display, the object still there. Locking the door and hanging up the keys, she prepared herself for something she would never do unless her friend was in great danger.
And he was.