I think, even after all this time, I still don't really understand what happened.
I was feeling strange that night. I don't know. It was like every little thing was the most important thing in the world. I couldn't focus on anything, because everything jumped right to the front of my mind. My roommates were talking about... something. I think it was about mares. Yeah. Mares. They were talking about all the marefriends they'd had, or all the random mares they'd picked up at bars. Like it was some badge of honour, getting drunk and going home with some filly. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out. I don't think they even noticed me leaving, really. They didn't say anything if they did. Maybe they just didn't care.
The air was cold outside my apartment. It was always cold in Cloudsdale because it was so high up, but this was different. It was a winter cold, the sort that sends chills right down to your core. My breath was a thick fog in front of my face, and I almost had trouble telling it apart from the clouds that paved the streets in the dark.
There was no light but the stars, no sound but the wind. I trotted across the cloud, trying to get as far away from my apartment as I could manage. It felt like I was running away from something, but I didn't really know what. Maybe I was running away from my roommates. I guess that might have been it. Maybe it was more than that, though. Maybe I was just getting tired of spending all my time in that apartment. Maybe I was getting tired of the apartment itself. Maybe I was getting tired of living there. I don't know; I was just getting tired.
I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. I was probably heading south. When I was little, my parents used to call me Birdy, because that’s always were I would go. No matter where we were, I always managed to find south when I wanted to go for a walk. Wherever I had wanted to go, I wound up at a corner store that I liked.
They sold these cheap donuts there. They were awful, but at the same time they tasted better than anything I’d ever eaten. It was like they dusted them with something addictive to keep you coming back even when you knew how horrible they tasted. I bought two of them and a cup of coffee then sat outside the store.
It was around nine or ten o'clock, I think. The night was only just beginning, really. It was the middle of winter, so it had been dark out for hours, but all the rest of Cloudsdale was only just beginning to go to bed. I was alone, but it was a fresh sort of alone. It was the kind of alone you are when someone leaves the room, not the kind when you wake up with no one else around.
The corner store was close to the edge of Cloudsdale. Without any ponies around, I could actually see over the edge. Equestria was sprawling out beneath the clouds, like a little model playset. I think that was the first time I ever really thought about leaving.
I was born and raised in Cloudsdale. I'd never left there, growing up, not even for a vacation or anything. All my family lived there. I think most of them were probably just like me. They'd all lived in Cloudsdale their whole lives, and they'd never really thought of going anywhere else. I know that I'd never thought about it until that night. I'm not sure why I did. I guess because I was running away, still.
My coffee was hot. Like, really hot. I could feel the cold biting at everything, but the coffee burnt my hooves through the cup. It scalded my tongue when I sipped it. I don't know why I remember that, but I do. You remember funny things, I guess. Like, I remember my nose running a little bit. I put down my coffee and walked to the edge of Cloudsdale, looking down. I could feel myself leaning further forward, tilting over the edge. I wasn't doing it on purpose, I don't think, but I wasn't stopping myself either. I was just doing it. I fell over the edge, rushing down through the cold air.
I could feel the wind rustling through my mane, hear it whipping in my ears. It tugged at the scarf around my neck, stinging in my eyes. I opened my wings slowly, slicing through the air and catching a current. I slowed down almost instantly, my stomach lurching at the sudden change in speed. It felt good. I sailed through the air, just gliding. I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going. South again, I guess. Headed for warmer climates. It probably didn't matter, as long as I was away from Cloudsdale.
I remember what my roommates were talking about now. They were asking me about my marefriends. They wanted to know if I'd ever had any. I hadn't. They thought that was pretty funny, I guess. One of them said he knew a mare that I should talk to, but I wasn't really interested. I was quiet, for a while. They didn't really notice, I think. I was always a bit quiet when they would talk about mares. I never really had anything to say.
I was flying with my eyes closed, not paying any attention to where I was going. I beat my wings enough to stay in the air, but I was mostly just gliding. I'm almost surprised I didn't run in to anything. There wasn't anything to run into, I guess, but I didn't even fly through any clouds. Not at first, at least.
I think I didn't open my eyes until I felt the first snowflake on my wing. I looked over at it, not really sure what to think. The sky around Cloudsdale had been mostly clear when I left. I guess I was just wondering where the weather had come from. I opened my eyes wider, and started looking around. Cloudsdale was long gone by then. In fact, there weren't any clouds around, except for the snowstorm above me. I didn't recognize anything around me, which I guess made sense. I wasn't afraid, though; I think I was sort of happy. I liked Cloudsdale, I guess, but I just didn't want to be there anymore. I was happy to be wherever I was, then.
There was a mountain not far away from me, to the east. I could see light coming from the other side of it, so I decided to fly towards them. Well, not really fly. I just sort of tilted, gliding down to the source of the lights.
It was a city. It was amazing. I'd never been to a city on the ground, so I guess anything would have been amazing to me, but even now I think it was beautiful. The lights were streetlamps, lining every little road. The buildings looked like they were made out of marble or alabaster, and they seemed to glow in the light. I swear, it was probably as bright as day in the city. I remember flying over it for a little while, just taking in the sight of it. It was fantastic. I was happy, I guess. It wasn't Cloudsdale.
I still don't really know why that made me so happy. It's still so hard to understand. I don't ever do this, you know? Just sit down and think about things. Talk about things. I just... let them happen. Let them come to me. I don't know, maybe that's why it was so bad. I think sometimes that maybe if I had stopped to do this once in a while in Cloudsdale, it wouldn't have been so bad. Maybe I would have been able to understand what was happening. I guess at least I might have been able to at least understand myself. Maybe if I had, somepony else could have. But I'm glad that I didn't. I'm glad I had to run away. I was happy. I am happy.
I think I landed in some kind of square. There was a little fountain in the middle of it, but there wasn't any water in the fountain. There was just a bit of snow piled up around the bottom.
The snow was only just starting to fall. I guess that's why I didn't notice it at first. Otherwise I think I probably wouldn't have left the square. But I did. I just went walking, like I had in Cloudsdale. I don't think I was going south this time, though. I was going down, through the twisting streets around the mountain. I tried to take in every little detail, to get to know the city. It just felt like the most important thing I had ever done. The streetlamps cast a sort of yellow light over everything, reflecting off buildings and just making the whole city glow. Even the sky didn't seem as dark as it did in Cloudsdale. It was this almost sort of purple-blue, and the stars little specs of white. It looked more like a painting than a real sky. It was like somepony had put a giant dome over top of us, with a sky painted on it so we wouldn't realize that we were all trapped in there. I think I wondered what would happen if I tried to leave. Would I bounce off the sky? Was I stuck here? I had been stuck in Cloudsdale, I guess, but I'd left there too. Could I leave here like I left Cloudsdale, if I wanted?
My mind drifted away from that as I walked. I thought about my roommates a bit more. I wondered if they knew that I was gone. I guess they probably did, but I wondered if they cared, though. We got along well enough, but it was always just something we had to do. We got put together when we started university. We didn't pick each other. It just happened. Still, I guess they were nice enough stallions, I just didn't have much in common with them. We never really talked all that much. I guess I didn't ever really talk to anyone, really.
The street I was walking down started to widen out. The buildings were falling away, and I walked into a wide opening. The cobbled streets stopped suddenly, as if there had been some invisible wall keeping the street from going any further. It didn’t even seem done. Grass peeked up between the last row of stones, as if the two sides were fighting. I could hardly see it, though. The snow was coming down harder, and had almost coated the ground. It was light and fluffy, and the gentle breeze shifted it around and piling it up in snowdrifts along the buildings.
The clearing of buildings must have been some sort of park. I could just make out a path leading across the field, and further down it looked like there was a small forest. I stepped slowly onto the path. The snow crunched and squeaked underneath my hooves quietly, but the noise was still clear in the night. I took a few more steps in, smiling quietly at the crunching sound. I think I actually cantered a bit. I think I was trying to make it louder. I liked it. I'd never walked on solid ground before. Clouds never made a sound when I stepped on them. I remember I'd liked the sound of the cobblestones, too. The soft little clopping of my hooves. My wings twitched happily as I walked down the path. I started to look around, taking in the scenery. There were still a few lampposts around, keeping the park well-lit even in the dark of night. The moon was high and full in the sky, so even without the lampposts I probably would have been able to see just fine.
The snow on the ground and in the air seemed to sparkle in the light. It was probably the most beautiful thing I had seen, at least then. It never snowed in Cloudsdale. It never did anything at all. We were above the weather, so it was always sunny skies. Always the same, every day. I liked the snow. I still like the snow. It's amazing. These little tiny pieces of ice, falling from the sky. Not a single one of them was ever the same, even though they were so small. I'd seen them in the weather factory, but I'd never seen them actually falling before that night.
The path passed by a little pond with a bench. The pond was frozen over, and the snow was starting to drift on top of the ice. The wind shook the soft powder around, this thin little layer of dust dancing around, like a ballet or something. I cleared some snow off the bench and sat down, just watching it.
It was sort of strange. I still didn't really understand what I was doing, I don't think, but I was glad that I'd done it. I was glad to be in the city, away from Cloudsdale. I guess I've probably said that a few times, but... well, you just can't really understand what it was like unless you'd been there. It was completely new for me. I'd never seen the ground, or trees, or snow. Not close up like that. I was in a whole new world, and... I guess I was in love with it. I was just really, really happy. I guess it was a new feeling for me, then. Sometimes it’s just hard to really understand something until you're right there. I was right there, and I was starting to understand. I couldn't really understand though, for a while at least. Not until he arrived.
“Some night, huh?”
I heard him before I saw him. I nearly jumped out of my feathers when he called out to me. I had been so caught up in watching the snow I hadn't heard him coming. I hadn't expected anypony to be out this late, really. I sort of half thought I was crazy for even being out that late. This stallion sounded like he was always out this late, though, like he had seen his fair share of nights. His voice was soft, and happy. In the silence of the night it seemed clear, and crisp. It sounded almost clean, sort of. I looked over my shoulder warily at him.
He was a sky blue unicorn with a thick black mane. It was shaggy and wild, almost standing up from how tangled it was. He wore a double-breasted coat, the same colour as his mane, with wide cuffs and shiny buttons. A thick white scarf peeked through the top of the coat, wrapping tightly around his neck. He smiled at me as if we were old friends, like he had been expecting me there. Strangest of all, his eyes were obscured by heavy, dark sunglasses.
“...Huh?” I asked dumbly. I was still trying to take it all in, I suppose. I'd seen unicorns before, but he still seemed so alien, standing in the snow.
“I said, some night, huh?” he repeated, trotting closer. “It's beautiful out tonight. First snowfall of the season.” He tilted his head, and his smile widened a bit. “You waiting for somepony?”
“I...” I said, “uh, no. No, I'm not waiting for anypony.”
“Cool,” he said. “Want some company?” I blinked at him, but brushed the rest of the snow off the bench with my wing. He grinned at me and sat down. “Thanks, buddy,” he said. He leaned back on the bench and opened his mouth. A stream of mist blew out, spreading out in strange tendrils of smoke and disappearing amongst the snow. He breathed in again, sighing happily.
“It's great, isn't it?” he asked. I think I only vaguely understood what he was talking about. I only vaguely understood anything, really.
“Yeah...” I said quietly.
“You like winter?” he asked. I looked at the snow on the ground, and shrugged vaguely.
“I guess?”
“You guess?”
“I... don't really know. This is different from winter where I'm from, I guess.” The unicorn sat up straighter.
“Yeah?” he asked. “Where're you from?”
“Cloudsdale,” I answered slowly. I didn't really like thinking about it again. I knew, deep down, that I'd have to go back there soon enough. The unicorn shook me out of it, though.
“Yeah?” he asked excitedly. “I've always wanted to go to Cloudsdale! What's it like?”
“It's... I don't know, it's alright,” I said. “I lived there my whole life... so I guess I'm just used to it or something.” He paused for a second. I think he might have realized something was wrong, but I don't know. I learned later how perceptive he could be. Maybe that's just how he is. How he was.
“So,” he asked, the cheer returning to his voice, “what brings you to fair Canterlot then, huh?” I blinked.
“Is that were I am?” I asked. I couldn't really see his expression behind the glasses, but I'm sure he must have thought I was crazy. Or stupid. Or something like that.
“You didn't know?” he asked me.
“I... guess not,” I said. “I wasn't really thinking about where I was going. I just went.” The unicorn leaned back again, scratching at the back of his neck.
“Huh,” he said. He hummed to himself awkwardly, but shrugged, and grinned at me. His teeth were as white as the snow, and his smile had a mischievous, knowing quality. “Well,” he said, “when you gotta get away, right? I know the feeling.”
“You do?” I asked. He nodded.
“Oh yeah. Everpony needs to get away sometimes, right? I mean they don't all skip the city, but they don't all wander out into a park at midnight, either.” He nudged me playfully. Strangely, I think it actually made me feel better. “So how're you liking it?”
“Canterlot?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said, shrugging. “Canterlot. Not Cloudsdale. Being away. It's what you needed, right? It doing it for you?” I blinked, and turned away from him. I looked around the park for a little while. I don't remember for how long, really, but it felt like a while. I looked at the trees, and the pond, and the falling snow.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I like it. It's doing it for me.”
“That's good,” he said, smiling. He looked around for a while, too. He leaned back on the bench, turning his face to the sky. “I don't care about Canterlot most of the year,” he said. “I mean yeah, it's an alright city. Everything runs on time, you get everything you need right around the corner, and the view's great... but I mean, it's just a city, right? You can get all that anywhere. But man, in the winter... It's amazing. I love it. It's just so... different in the winter. Everything is fresh, everything is new. It's great.” He sighed happily, staring up at the sky. I looked up too, slowly. The snowflakes fell all around me, rushing into my vision and dancing around. It was so bizarre, seeing it coming down at me.
“Cloudsdale is never anything like this,” I said. I was doing it again. I didn't mean to talk, but I did. The words just came to me, and I didn't stop them. “It's the same, all year round. It gets colder, or warmer, but it never really changes. It doesn't snow. It doesn't even rain. It's sunny skies, all day every day. Other ponies get the weather, not us. It's...” I didn't know what it was. I knew what I felt, but I couldn't put it to words. There were too many feelings clouding around each other. “It's just Cloudsdale. I like it here. I've never seen anything like this place. It's different. I'm glad I came.”
“Yeah?” the unicorn asked. I smiled at him.
“Yeah,” I said. He smiled back, nestling into the bench.
“I think I might feel the same sometimes,” he said. “Except in the opposite direction, you know? Like, I've traveled around. Every city on the ground is the same. They're just cities. I've never been to a city in the sky, though. I always thought that it must be so cool, up there. I used to think it must be like winter all the time, but I guess not.” He smiled. “Are you gonna go back?” I sighed.
“I guess,” I said. “I guess I sort of have to, don't I? I've got... friends. Family. They’d all miss me.” I sighed again, and the unicorn sat up.
“You gonna go back tonight?”
“Probably, I guess... I mean, they'll all be wondering... why?”
“I dunno,” the unicorn said, shrugging. “I mean, it's like one in the morning, right? Do you really wanna fly back in the middle of the night?” I thought about it for a little while. I probably could have flown back. It wouldn't have been that bad. I didn't want to, though. It would be nice to stay in Canterlot, at least for the night. I sort of wondered what it would look like in the morning. I bet that it would be beautiful.
“Maybe... no, maybe not,” I said. “I guess I don't. It's not like I can stay here, though. Nowhere to sleep.” The unicorn bobbed his head back and forth.
“Well...” he said quietly. “I used to have a roommate, see... but he moved out. So I've got this spare bedroom, if you need a place to crash.”
I don't really know how long I was staring at him. It was probably for a good long while, though. I mean, it was such a weird thing to say, to offer a complete stranger a bed.
“You don't even know me,” I said. “I don't even know you.”
“Well,” he said, “I mean it would only be for tonight, right? And the bedrooms both have heavy locks, so it's not like we have to worry about each other. And I mean I'm not going to do anything to you anyways, or I'd have done it, right? Middle of the park, alone at night?” He smiled at me, but I just stared back a little awkwardly. His smile faded a bit, and I think he only realized what he had said just then. “Oh man!” He said, waving his hooves, “I’m sorry, that didn’t sound at all like I meant it to! I... okay, let’s try this differently.” He held out his hoof. “Neon Lights.” I stared at his hoof for a while, finally taking it gently. It was warm against mine. Not hot like the coffee, but a good warm.
“Sunburst,” I said. He smiled broadly.
“There, see?” he said. “Now we know each other. “You seem like a nice enough colt, you know? I wouldn't mind giving you a place to stay if you need it, and you shouldn't have to fly home in the middle of the night if you don't need to. But hey, it's your call.”
I thought about it for a little while. Or at least, I think I did. I thought about something for a while, at least. Maybe it was about staying with Neon Lights. Maybe it was about going back to Cloudsdale. Maybe it was about when I would go back. If I ever would. I probably thought about a lot of things, but I'm pretty sure there was one thing I didn't need to think about.
“Alright,” I said. “I'll stay the night... if it isn't a big hassle.”
“Hey, great,” Neon said. “My place isn't too far away. We should probably go hit the sack – I guess you might wanna get home early tomorrow, or something.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I guess.” Neon smiled, and stood up. I got up after him, following him as he trotted through the snow.
“Hey, nice name by the way,” he said over his shoulder.
“What?”
“Sunburst. It's a nice name. I think it suits you.”
“Yeah?” I asked. I didn't get told that often. It felt sort of nice. Neon smiled back at me.
“Yeah,” he said. “You seem like you could be a sunny kinda guy, you know?” He grinned. “Maybe you'll be sunnier in the morning. Hey, are you gonna go home as soon as you get up?”
“I... don't have to,” I said. I didn't want to, at least. Neon grinned wider.
“Cool... I know something that'll make you sunnier. I'll show you tomorrow, okay?” I blinked at him. I swear his smile must have been just as bright as the lamps. I smiled.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, okay.”