//------------------------------// // Football is Fun, but Then it Goes Really, Really, REALLY Wrong // Story: TD's Little Rarity // by BronyWriter //------------------------------// Where was I? Oh yes, perfect spit-takes. Kristen has just done one and I am two seconds away from breaking out into rambunctious laughter despite the situation. Rarity? Not so much. Rarity raises a hoof and wipes the Dr. Pepper off of her face. "Father, why did Aunt Kristen just spit soda all over me?" I was about to explain it to her but before I could the exact same thing happened, much to Rarity's chagrin. "Really now, Aunt Kristen, I've had quite enough of you spitting your drink at me!" "FATHER?!" screeches Kristen. "YOU HAVE A TALKING CARTOON PONY CALLING YOU FATHER?!" "That's what I just said," says Rarity with a levelness that nobody else in the room has. "Yes I know he's not my real father but that's been the role he's been fulfilling for the past three weeks or so." Kristen blinks at the pony in front of her for a moment before she leans her head back on the couch and groans. "I'm calling Mom," she says. "Oh come on, you told me that you wouldn't do anything rash!" I say. Her head snaps up and she glares at me. "And calling Mom would be the rational thing to do," she says. "Either one or both of us has gone insane right now and I'm not sure what to do about it besides that." "We've not gone insane, she's right. Here!" I insist, pointing to my pony charge. "Believe me, I think this whole scenario is nuts too but what exactly can I do about it?" Kristen sighs and puts her head in her hands. "This isn't happening," she groans. "This. Isn't. Happening." "Yes it is," says Rarity. Kristen lets out a humorless chuckle and sits up. "Okay, so can you tell me exactly what happened?" I sit down on the chair in front of her and Rarity takes a seat next to Kristen on the couch. She is about to scoot away but one glare from me puts that to rest. "Okay, so I've told you about how I found her in a box, right? Well, about a year ago I was crossing the four way crosswalk and a car ran a red light. I was almost hit by it and I would have been if not for some Celestial intervention." "What do you mean?" she asks suspiciously. "You saw the first three or four episodes, right? Well basically Princess Celestia was experimenting with magic and she accidentally created a portal to our world. A one in a trillion chance if you think about it. When she looked through the portal she saw me about to get hit by the car and she pulled me through the portal by mistake, intending only to pull me back a little to protect me from the car. "Because of that, I had to spend two months in Equestria before she found a way for me to get back. That's why I was gone for two months." Kristen takes another deep breath and looks over at her 'niece'. "And her? She just appeared?" "I don't really remember anything aside from basic details such as my name and personality," says Rarity sadly. "I don't remember how I got here; otherwise I would most certainly have brought it up." "Oh of course you would have," Kristen grumbles. She took another deep breath and glanced at the remote on the table. "Okay... let me think about what I'm going to do about this..." She reaches for the remote and turns the TV back on. "We'll talk about this a bit more after football." "Can you teach me about football?" asks Rarity. "You and Father seem to enjoy it so much so..." Her hears flatten and she bows her head. "If you want to teach me about it." Wow, that was almost like Fluttershy. Still, it did a little bit to soften Kristen's expression. She opens the bag of Doritos and delved into the basic rules of Football. I took my place beside Rarity just in time to see Trindon Holliday return a kickoff 108 yards for a touchdown, eliciting a loud roar of triumph from both me and my sister. Rarity copies it but I can tell that she doesn't really get why we're so happy so after Prater kicks another rocket between the uprights for the extra point making the game 7-0. We expend a bit more time explaining the basics of the game until she got it down. "So, the people in blue and orange are the Denver Broncos and they're the team closest to where we are right now, and the people in silver and black are the Oakland Raiders and they're the bad guys." "Eh, they're not 'bad guys' per se. This isn't so much good buy/bad guy since I'm sure that a lot of people on the Raiders aren't evil people out to do bad guy things. It's more a... less than friendly rivalry." "But we swept the division last year and we'll sweep it this year!" Kristen roars. Rarity frowns at the screen at the sight of a Raider running back getting tackled after a three and a half yard gain. "Indeed? Hmm, this seems to be a very rough sport," she observes. "Why do you think they're wearing what is essentially full body armor? It's to protect them from getting hurt. It doesn't always work but more often than not it does," says Kristen. "Well that's good," says Rarity. The three of us watch in relative silence, taking chips and soda as necessary. Rarity doesn't seem to care for Dr. Pepper, but Doritos she takes a surprising interest in and she starts eating as much as we do. Well the Manning/Thomas/Decker trifecta tear apart the Raiders secondary just like last year and it is pretty quickly apparent that this is going to be a pretty one-sided game. We use the first half to explain a bit more about the rules such as a lot of the flags that the players can draw. It's a Broncos/Raiders game so there were a fair amount of them. No personal fouls beyond facemasks though which is surprising. The second half made my sister and I slightly wary that there might be a slight comeback. It was 17-3 at the half, but the opening Raider drive isn't something that we like very much. The first run yields a fifteen yard run and neither of us was happy. "OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE F..." I glance at the filly to my left who looks at me curiously. I clear my throat. "Fortuitously kidding me!" I finish. Kristen snorts at the makeshift profanity and takes a few Doritos. She frowns as she gets mostly crumbs, but she isn't going to get any more while the game is going on. Maybe later during the Panthers/Bucs game she'll refill our stock. Well the game continues on much like we think it will. The Raiders' drive ends in a forty-three yard field goal and Trindon Holliday returns the kickoff thirty-six yards. The game ends after another hour and a half and Rarity seems to still have some interest in the sport. She cheers when the Broncos win 34-9 but I really suspect that she only does so because Kristen and I are doing the same thing. Admittedly it's kind of cute seeing her jump up and down on the couch, her tail and mane bouncing when... Wait... what am I saying? I must be getting soft. Kristen does go for a chip run and Rarity continues watching for the later games. Kristen is not gone for more than twenty minutes and makes it back just in time for Cam Newton to run it in one yard for the opening score. Rarity seems far more level during this game but I suspect that it is because Kristen and I are. We don't particularly care one way or the other who wins this one but football is football and it is still fun to watch nonetheless. Eventually the last game has gone final and the last vestiges of soda have been drunk and Doritos consumed. It's dark out now and Rarity's bedtime. She doesn't argue that much because after the soda she's crashed. It was probably the most active day she's had since she's been here. Her mane and tail are slightly out of place but I think she'll see to that in the morning with some of the hair products that I've gotten for her. I put her on the bed and put the Broncos blanket I have over her and she snuggles happily into the pillow. I am about to stand up and turn off the lights for her, but she puts a hoof on my arm. "Father, I don't suppose you know any lullabies?" I frown and scratch my head. I'm about to tell her no, I don't beyond 'Rockabye Baby', but I decide to dig a little deeper than that. I...I may or may not have been in choir all four years in high school and... honor choir for the latter three. I said may or may not... I take a deep breath and finally come up with one that I remember the tune to. I decide to amend the lyrics a bit for her, thought. "Hush-a-bye you sweet little filly and don’t you cry any more. Rainbow's has gone to her Wonderbolts tryouts a keepin’ the wolf from the door. Luna will raise the moon in the sky, So you can see the pegasi whizzing by. Home in a hurry each pegasus mare must fly To a filly like you. Hush-a-bye you sweet little filly and close those pretty blue eyes. Pinkie has thrown her weekly birthday party, let's hope this time it's a surprise. Fluttershy will turn the radio on So you can hear a sleepy-time song, Sung by a mother whose poor heart must long For a filly like you." By the time I'm finished, Rarity is out like a light. I stand up and turn out the lights themselves. Man... where did that come from? When did I get so sentimental? I shut the door behind me and walk into my living room to see Kristen sitting on the couch with a raised eyebrow and the first traces of bewilderment on her face. I sit next to her and put my head in my hands. "What was that?" asks Kristen. "You just sang a lullaby to a cartoon character." "Do you think anything about any of this makes sense?" I counter. "Normalcy went out the door the second she came here." Kristen nods. "I can imagine." The two of us are silent for a few moments before she straightens up and scoots closer. "I'm not gonna tell Mom, by the way. I'm not telling anybody." I breathe a slight sigh of relief at this and give her a half smile which quickly fades. Noting my mood she wraps an arm around my shoulder. "Are you okay?" I shake my head. "No. No I'm pretty far from okay. I haven't been truly okay for three weeks." I sit up. "It's just that... well, I guess I've been asking myself 'why me?' since she came here." "Makes sense," says Kristen. "I mean, what did I do that the universe saw fit to not only arrange for me to go to Equestria, but also to have Rarity here a year after I get back. What's the fairness in that? There are hundreds of thousands of Bronies out there who would kill to be where I am right now and yet I'm the one with a sleeping cartoon character in my room." "Do you resent her for that?" asks Kristen. I shake my head. "No. No I don't. Whatever brought her here was something on their end, but only Twilight or Celestia would be capable of something like this. I can't blame Rarity for something probably beyond her control, especially because she's just a kid." "You're really worried about this," Kristen observes. "Thank you Captain Obvious," I grumble. "I'm getting the feeling that it goes way beyond Mom and Dad or even your boss finding out about this." I nod glumly. "Yeah. I...I hate the fact that I'm the one thing that's protecting her, you know? By sheer chance I'm the only think keeping her from Hell on Earth essentially. Had she ended up with anybody else, the results wouldn't have been so great for her. She'd be an easy thing to manipulate." "How so?" questions Kristen. "Well there's the obvious scientific implications," I say. "The government would kill to have her because of her magic which means experiments, keeping her locked away etc. I don't know what they'd do with that or me for keeping her here. There's also that fact that a greedy person could take advantage of her gem finding spell, some of the less humane Bronies would sell tickets; 'come see filly Rarity, isn't she friggin' adorable?! It's the show on Earth!'" "You think that would happen?" asks Kristen. "Ben alone would kill me to get to her," I say. "And I'm not sure if I can keep it from him for much longer. I've had to swear my allegiance to the herd just to keep some of his suspicions down." "That's surely been the most trying thing about this," Kristen jokes. I glower at her. "Don't be cute, this is serious. If he found out then this all goes to Hell faster than we can possibly imagine. I'm the RA here, I know that he's converted at least five people and three others were already Bronies anyway and that's just on my floor. I'm sure he knows who is a Brony on the other floors too and, again, that's just my building. It'd spread like wildfire that Rarity was here on the campus and just a short walk away. It'd be chaos in hours, minutes even." "And you think you're the only person keeping her from that." "How can I not be? I've talked to her about that scenario and it scares her. She doesn't want that for herself any more than I do." I sigh and lean back. "What's scaring me the most is both the unknown and the inevitable. You should have seen me when I realized that you'd have to find out. I was a nervous wreck." "I gathered that," said Kristen. "So there's the inevitability of Mom and Dad finding out when I have to go home for breaks and I can't leave her here which means that six people know that she's here. I can't leave her here but I can't transport her out easily either. If one guy saw Rarity, that would be bad." "You think they'd believe him?" "If even one did..." "Still, what are the odds that anybody would believe anybody who told them? I mean, this is an absolutely ridiculous scenario; people aren't going to believe it." "I know," I say. "But I'm still worried that it's going to get out of hand. Even if nobody believes it, it'll still spread like wildfire that Rarity is right here. Even if nobody believes it, there will still be people who check up on it just to be sure and then what happens? It's not like I can take her out of the room. If I run into somebody then it's really over." Kristen is silent as she mulls over my words. I can't blame her for her silence. I do continue on, though. "What's freaking me out is the sheer sense of hopeless inevitability I'm feeling. No matter what, this thing I have going here is only sustainable for another three months, four tops. Three weeks is a miracle since I have people coming to my door all the time for roommate arguments, requests, advice, or just to say hi. I'm the RA, it's my job to interact with people and I have a big secret one door away." Kristen nods silently. "Is there any way I can help?" she asks. I shrug. "You probably have about as many good ideas as I do. If you ever think of one, do be sure to let me know because I will be all ears from start to finish." Kristen takes a deep breath and stands up. "I don't know, TD, I just don't know. Just know that if you ever need me, day or night, call. I don't care what time it is just call. You don't have to do this alone anymore." I manage a small smile and stand up too. Kristen and I hug and she leaves, taking one last soda with her. As she goes, I have to admit that a small sense of hope wells up in me. It was good to get all of that off of my chest to somebody who isn't going to blab and who legitimately wants to help me. I'm still going to have to go through this thing mostly alone, but I have a hope that somebody can help. It's a comforting thought. * * * * It's been three days since my talk with Kristen and things are at a steady pace right now. School is about the same and the job is okay. Not to mention that I've found some cheap fabric so Rarity can start making whatever she wants. She's thinking of starting with some cool shirts for Kristen and so I'm curious to see what she comes up with. Right now I'm just about to go back to my room for a quick nap before I get Rarity and I some dinner. I'm thinking calzones tonight, veggie for her and meat for me obviously. I enter the elevator and press the button for my floor. The doors close and to my annoyance, it stops on the third floor. And Ben gets in. I'm pretty casual with him. He smiles when he sees me and I return it with a nod of my head. "So, did you see the latest episode yesterday?" he says. "Yeah. It was pretty heartbreaking when RD didn't get the games in Cloudsdale." "I KNOW RIGHT?!" says my roommate to my now increased irritation. Our floor can't come fast enough. Well since this is a modern elevator it only takes a few more seconds before we're on our floor and we both depart. However, he stops me and beckons me to the lounge. "I need to talk to you; do you have a minute?" he says. I grumble, I need that nap, but I humor him and follow him to one of the study lounges. He silently shuts the door behind me after I walk in and he directs me to one of the chairs. I shake my head, preferring to stand, and he shrugs. "So, what do you need to talk to me about?" I ask. To my sheer horror a knowing smirk crosses Ben's face and he walks a few steps closer to me. "So, you've been to Equestria and you have filly Rarity living in your room."