Chapter One
Morning again. Another night with no sleep. No surprise there. Can't stop thinking when I need to.
Roll out of bed. Oh my aching legs...
My bedroom is too sparse. No surprise there, what with my lack of style.
Speaking of lack of style, time to check myself in the mirror. Goodie me.
Mane isn't in my eyes. Not a lot of use in combing it. Otherwise I look like crap. No surprise.
And now we impose ourself on the world.
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Why did I have to get a job so far away? Oh, right, I couldn't get any other job. Not that I have any right to complain.
Lyra, Bon Bon, happy as usual.
Who is that pony? I never remember names, do I? Quick check of her Cutie Mark...
...
Well, I'm a pervert. It's Lily.
And now Lily is looking at me. She probably saw me looking at her flank.
Just walk away like nothing happened. Yeah, because that's ever worked.
Ah, she caught me. Time to take my rightful punishment.
...
She's asking me if I know which food vendors are having sales today. Well good job, me, not only did I get away with being a lech, but I also couldn't help her with her shopping. You've started this day off on the wrong hoof, just like every other day.
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And I'm here. Better get to work.
Sweet Apple Acres needs to balance rain and sun, so alternate days the next ten days. The borders of the Everfree typically need rain this time of year, which leaves us with...
Twenty cubic feet of cloud left over. Figures I'd leave surplus cloud. It's like I'm trying to get fired.
...
Well, having my house clouded out is hardly a loss.
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Time to leave work, and I didn't do anything useful. What's the use in an earth pony arranging weather maps for Ponyville, anyway? None.
And work ends so early, anyway. I work, and then go home to spend the afternoon being more worthless, and the evening trying to fall asleep, and failing to do even that task remotely well.
No reason to challenge the way things work. Everypony's happy the way things are.
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I just knew I'd do this again. It's... half past four, and I'm still awake.
Not that that's any surprise. I hardly do anything, so it makes sense that I'm not tired, right? Or maybe I'm just trying to be nocturnal to avoid other ponies like the antisocial little creep I am. I wonder why ponies put up with me anyway? All I am is dead weight. I occupy an ugly little house and only come out to go to work. Hardly the best pony around. Heh, who am I kidding? The way ponies look at me, they think I'm more like... a monkey.
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Morning again. Another night with no sleep. No surprise there. Can't stop thinking when I need to.
Roll out of bed. Oh my aching legs...
My bedroom is too sparse. No surprise there, what with my lack of style.
Speaking of lack of style, time to check myself in the mirror. Goodie me.
Mane isn't in my eyes. Not a lot of use in combing it. Otherwise I look like crap. No surprise.
And now we impose ourself on the world.
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No work today. Don't want me around more than I need to be, or something.
Much as I try to be polite, I suppose I have to eat.
...
That mare accidentally gave me some extra carrots. I need to give them back.
Why would she ask if I was sure she wanted the carrots back? I know I counted it out right.
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Last stop, the apple stand. That's strange, normally the salesmare is very attentive. Is that pony her friend? Well, I guess they are friends. After all, most ponies in this town are friends.
This pony, though, won't hold still.
And she's gone. Apparently nihilism is my thing now.
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Well, what do you know? I actually slept last night. Not to say it was restful, that would imply I could do something right.
...
Another day at work, a special request from somepony named Pinkie Pie. Clear skies tomorrow night over eastern Ponyville? There's no way I'd be able to approve that.
Wait a minute... all the clearance papers were already filled out? Just who is this pony?
...
Oh, good. Another day of work for me to waste everypony's time with tomorrow. Not like my position has any purpose. Apparently any pony can just write in a request, and my whole job becomes even more worthless. Might as well get home so I can say I was in bed all night.
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I get to work, and there's no work to be done. The door wasn't even unlocked. Pretty sure they finally figured out how worthless my job was and fired me.
The pony who no one cares for has lost his only source of income, and thus food. And a host of absolutely no one cared.
Might as well go home to starve out of sight, then. No sense bothering everyone else.
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Open the door to find...
Not the huge piles of food I'd get if the world suddenly worked backwards. Just the room in total darkness like I left it.
Come to think of it, I might just leave it that way. The darkness is soothing and warm. Not at all like that place.
...Was that whispering?
No. No no. I don't want to remember that place! Please!
No! Stop telling me to go. Stop saying I deserve it! That place was horrible. That place...
That place... That place was where I belonged. That place was where I learned what I am. They told me. They told me who I am supposed to be. What I am supposed to be.
AGH! They turned the lights on! Why did they...
Ponies...
These ponies... They're looking at me...
They can see... me...
They know...
That mare. From the apple stand, she's here. That pink coat. Pinkie Pie? She set this up?
They know, and they're taking me back.
No no no nononononono!
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Why did I have to survive falling from that cliff? Celestia not ready to receive me, maybe. More likely she doesn't want to bother with me. Maybe that's why most of Ponyville was gathered together to take me back there.
So would it have been better than laying at the bottom of a cliff, possibly dying?
Nah. I should definitely go back. Why deprive them of their fun?