Deadpool Vs. Equestria
Issue #37
Previously on Deadpool Vs. Equestria...
{What part seemed remotely related to that thing?}
An epic journey... through... well... a... destroyed place... and... an awesome return?
[Wasn't this about a guy who goes through life a bit longer than people, then it had bad sequels, then some sort of series, then this anime film?]
Oh, you've just reminded me...
{Where's he gone?}
[Watching anime. He'll probably get to the story after watching an episode or five.]
{This is an intro. Wouldn't it seem like he wrote it at the same time as the rest of the issue?}
[Yes, but it wasn't. That's the main difference.]
{...'Kay.}
______________________________________________+)+_)+_)-
Deadpool waited down in Twilight's basement. The Element Bearers had decided that, as Deadpool had decided to leave as soon as possible, it would be suggested to Princess Celestia that nopony knows who Deadpool really was, and so Twilight was going to send this letter, which would also inform her that he was leaving. With him was Weasel, who was a little disturbed that Deadpool returned in human form. But at least it's Deadpool.
"So, we're leaving today, huh?" Weasel asked.
"Eeyup."
"Feeling happy about it?"
"Eeyup."
"Are you going to be saying that all the time to me?"
"Saying what?" Deadpool asked.
"...Nothin'."
They just sat their, waiting for there next opportunity to exit.
{WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?}
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................
[I think he's a bit tired.]
{Is that why he suddenly decided to make this the last issue?}
I thought I was making it the penultimate issue.......
{How tired are you?}
Bye Serm Appulls...
{I guess I'm taking over for now.}
Deadpool, clad in his usual gentlemanly attire, along with Weasel, in gentlecoltly attire, sipped his nice spot of tea.
"I do say, it'll be nice to return home, somewhat." Weasel admitted.
"Indubitably." Deadpool agreed, curling his fake moustache.
"Mustache." Pinkie corrected myself, despite not really being in that room.
{MOUStache.}
"MUSTache!"
{MOUSTACHE!}
"MUSTACHE!"
{AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!}
[...Well, he's gone and left. Let's do things my way.]
[I got nothing.]
{Author, wake up! We have no ideas!}
Oh, bother. ...Um... assume the positions.
[AAIIEE! DISLIKE EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NOT A NEW ONE YET!]
{Contradiction. Contraption. Would You Kindly.}
Yes, sir.
{...Oh. Um. Would you kindly write?}
Okay.
{Yay.}
Twilight Sparkle walked downstairs to the basement.
"Okay, I sent the letter to Princess Celestia. And she replied not soon after that." She said.
"What'd she say?" Weasel asked.
____________________________________________________________
To my faithful student,
Thank you for your suggestion, Twilight. I agree with this. We wouldn't want Equestria to panic, would we? Plus, it would just be feeding those conspiracy theorists enough for them to get ponies to have protests outside Canterlot. The last time that happened was really horrendous. They broke one of Blueblood's windows. It was really amusing to see him throw a fit... let's keep that detail between us, okay?
I hope Mr Wilson has a safe journey home. I'm sorry to have given him not much of a warm welcome, but, ultimately, I wanted everypony to be safe. I'd say he proved me wrong, but I'm not so sure about that. Yes, he did bring Pinkie to his world, only to rescue her from what you said was a 'mostly hostile' organization, and, earlier, he protected her again, when somepony attacked her, although, he did so rather brutally.
I think... he can truly be very dedicated to doing noble things... just so long as he can be bothered to do so. In the meantime... remind him that he is welcome to stay... but make sure he doesn't cause too much of a scene all of the time, alright?
Your cautious teacher,
Princess Celestia.
____________________________________________________________
"Well... that was nice." Deadpool said.
"So... do you want to stay?" Twilight asked.
"Hmmm..." Deadpool thought for a moment, "Nah."
Twilight stared at him blankly. "Alright then. We'll go to Weasel's, and you two can leave."
____________________________________________________________
They arrived to find the portal already activated, with the rest of the Mane 6, along with Spike, standing next to it.
"You're that eager to see me leave?" Deadpool asked.
"This was on before you got here, we didn't do anything," Rainbow said, "But, you know... if somepony left it on, we might as well keep it on, since we'll probably not use it after this."
"Hm. Good point." Deadpool said, shrugging.
"U-um... b-be safe, Deadpool," Fluttershy said, "We'll miss you."
"Really?" Deadpool asked. To his surprise, most of the Mane 6 nodded, while the others nodded half-heartedly... mostly because Applejack didn't know him that much, and what she'd seen, she didn't really like, as was the case for Spike. Rarity just didn't see much of him full-stop.
"Well... I think I'll miss you two. Especially Pinkie, who was a great part of our double act." He then tip-toed next to her, and whispered, "Would our ship work out?"
"I'm interested in Dashie now," she replied, also whispering, "Sorry." And now everypony wondered what they were talking about, as Deadpool paused to think about what to say.
"Okay." He said, before walking over to the portal. He looked at Weasel, narrowing one of his eyes. Weasel then followed suit, and stood with him in front of the portal.
"Well, guys," Deadpool said, "It's been fun. First, I'd like to thank Twilight Sparkle, for being able to keep up with me as I explained everything about human anatomy." A sound was heard somewhere in the room. Everypony looked around for a moment. They shrugged, and listened.
"No problem, I guess..." Twilight responded.
"Then, Pinkie, for being Pinkie." He continued, causing Pinkie to grin happily.
"And, most of all..." Deadpool said, pausing, apparently for dramatic effect.
...
...
...
...
"What is it?" Weasel asked.
"...Huh? Oh, sorry, lost my train of thought. Most of all, I'd like to thank Fluttershy." He finally said.
"M-me? But... why?" Fluttershy asked.
"I'd say that you've probably been the nicest to me here," Deadpool replied, "After all, you let me live in your house while you tried your best to make me a nice guy. I'd say it didn't work the entire way, but, I at least have a bit of understanding about friendship, and I think I'll remember that advice when I go back."
{Really?}
Nah.
{What? Whaddya mean 'Nah?' You mean to tell me that all meant nothing to you?}
No, I really appreciated it all, but the probability of me remembering this is pretty low, but I'll remember the thought, and remember what to do, should I really need it. You can't change me. I'm still trying to make the video game.
"W-well... thanks... I was... just doing what was right... as should you... if you want to, that is..." She said.
"We'll see, Fluttershy. We'll see," He said. "Well, I guess it's time for us to go. Weasel, did ya remember to take most of those power cells out of the portal?"
"Yep. Should close by itself about five minutes after we go through it." He answered.
"Alright." Deadpool said, before looking to the Mane 6 (And Spike). "And to all you, ponies, I say..."
Then he tripped, and fell on his face.
{SHOELACES STRIKE AGAIN!}
Deadpool realized he was getting sucked into the portal now that he was off his feet, and so he quickly grabbed Weasel by one of his forelegs, and they both fell through the portal.
The bearers of the Elements looked at what happened, shocked.
"...Well... I think we've had enough weirdness for one day..." Rainbow said.
"Agreed." Rarity agreed.
"Ah shure would've liked t'know 'im better." Applejack admitted.
"I know what'll cheer you up!" Pinkie declared.
Nopony else really bothered to say anything. Spike, on the other hand... hoof...
"A party?" Spike asked.
"A PARTY!"
_______________________________________________________
What happened afterwards?
As the ponies started to leave the house, Spike looked back. He wondered what that noise earlier was. It had happened when Deadpool mentioned Twilight had learned human anatomy. He then thought back. Didn't they say they wouldn't tell anypony about humans? He decided to ask Twilight about it later.
And after he left a mint green unicorn slowly peeked from behind the portal. She looked at the portal, which was beginning to shut off, and, with a determined smile, she jumped through the portal. It shut off behind her.
-----
As Twilight walked home after the party, she witnessed Bon-Bon walking outside. Noticing Twilight, Bon-Bon walked over to her.
"Hey... umm... have you seen Lyra anywhere?"
-----
Deadpool and Weasel fell from a wall. Deadpool felt the ground a bit, then sniffed. The scent of the room was very different. He heard computers making beepy noises, as they always do... along with surprised gasps. He looked at Weasel. He was human too. Then he stood up, and looked around the room...
It was like some sort of weird hide-out... filled with a bunch of ordinary people, although, the clothing they were wearing... they reminded him of many things... some had cyan shirts with a familiar symbol... some had glasses... one had a magenta shirt with an all too familiar marking... three balloons, two blue, one yellow.
Were they in some sort of brony community? And why was there a portal-y thing behind them? It was de-activated... but about 7 seconds after looking at it, it started again. And falling through it was a girl wearing a mint green shirt with jeans, with white striped with whitey-blue hair, and hazel eyes.
"...Oh... hi!" She greeted nervously.
And the only thing Deadpool could say to the intruder was...
"...Do I know you?"
{It's Lyra.}
"Who?"
{That Human-obsesser!}
"Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. Aren't you Deadpool?" She asked.
Weasel looked at the confused bronies.
"...Uh... hi, fellow... members of the herd!" He greeted.
Want to know what finds out?
WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT!
DEADPOOL
VS.
BRONIES
