//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: World Without Words // Story: Flightless Dreams // by Edensola //------------------------------// CHAPTER 4: WORLD WITHOUT WORDS Lightning Dust remained motionless, sitting atop the steps that led into the apartment complex. Entering into the building were pairs of lunar guards, some remained outside to keep the curious citizens from involving themselves in the situation. Overall she was the star of this little piece of entertainment for their seemingly perfect lives, but she didn't care, how could she? Lightning Dust simply looked tired, too tired to move, too tired to think, too tired to do anything besides sit. There were thick bags under her eyes, revealing that very exhaustion. Her mane was ruffled, tattered, basically all over the place, it wasn't surprising to the guards who knew about the situation. As Lightning Dust just remained in place, staring at the ground, eventually an investigator approached her. Surprisingly it was a unicorn, he wore a brown jacket and a funny tophat, he looked like he was from some cheesy movie. Lightning Dust didn't acknowledge him, she just remained fixated on the ground, lost in thought. The unicorn sighed heavily, knowing this wouldn't be easy and climbed the steps, sitting next to her as he stared off into the distance. He was using a spell to allow him to remain aloft in this city like the pegasi. As he took in a deep breath he managed to finally get out some words "So, uhm..mind telling me what went down in there?" Lightning Dust remained silent, of course he was curious to what happened, because by the time they arrived, it certainly didn't look like a simple suicide. As she remained fixated on the ground, she recalled the events that took place, after she'd found her dad. Lightning Dust continued to scream as she even tore out a small portion of her mane. Her eyes were wide, her pupils like small dots resting in the center. She suddenly gritted her teeth setting her gaze on her dad's lifeless body "COWARD!" she yelled ferociously. That word, even though it came out her mouth, her heart ached painfully, it hurt just to say it, to call him such a thing. Her expression sunk as she fell to the floor, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She scurried over to his limp body and shook him gently, as if she were still in denial about the whole thing, she muttered "Daddy?..." How childish she thought, she couldn't recall the last time she called him that, if ever, but she couldn't stop herself from muttering it. She wept, biting her lower lip as if it were some boundary to prevent her from completely breaking down, but it didn't stop her from sniffling, and it certainly didn't stop the tears. She said it again, closing her eyes, continuing to gently shake him "Daddy...come on, please...don't do this,.." She suddenly looked enraged, snapping at him again "DON'T YOU LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS, WITH THIS! THIS! THIS BUCKING NIGHTMARE!!" She was furious, she slammed her hooves on top of him. She gritted her teeth, her features distorting into a horrific expression. She stood "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED!? TO SEE ME BREAK!? TO SEE ME LOSE MY COOL IN FRONT OF YOU?!" She spread her hooves, scorning and yelling at him as if he were actually alive to listen. She snarled "Well you got it!......So will you please-" she paused, the last word shook with her voice. Her rage steadily melted away, as she'd looked vulnerable, broken, tired once more. The tears stopped flowing, but her entire body remained still "So will you please just wake up...don't leave me here, alone." She fell once again as she crawled closer to him, wrapping her hooves around him once more. "I'm not cut out for things like this dad..., I still need you, I don't care about the insults, the rambling or anything, just wake up dad,....please dad...." she looked at his lifeless, bloodshot eyes, leaning closer to him as she practically begged, repeating once again "Please!" there was only silence. She sat there, for a moment, letting this truth, this, reality sink in, meld into her soul. As she sat there, she ran her hooves through his mane affectionately, caressingly as she stared down at him. "Fine," she staggered to her hooves soon after, still looking grief stricken as she looked around, desperately looking for any sign, any indication to why he left her alone in this manipulative world. She hated it, hated the fact that everypony seemed so happy, so content with their lives, seemed to be able to climb out from their gutters, while she was slowly dragged down under, losing the will to climb back out. While she was here, suffering, searching for any sign of closure, a slim chance to be able to forgive herself for this, to move past it. She hated it all, everything, but most of all, she hated knowing it had nothing to do with them. This was just the way things were, this was her life, and this is what she was forced to live with. There was no greater meaning, no cruel twisted god to put all the blame on, this was just her own weakness, her own chaotic world dragging her down, and her letting it. She used to think perhaps there were lessons, reasons for everything, but at this point, perhaps, it was all just one big bucking coincidence, unfortunate coincidences. Her talents? Pointless. Her confidence? Pointless. Her dreams? Pointless. Her? Pointless... There was nothing anymore, not even any close friends... She'd never thought about it, and she regretted it, never getting close to anypony. Never taking the time to forge deep bonds with others, to find her very special somepony, suddenly somepony popped in her head. Rainbow Dash? Yes, the rainbow maned mare, she was different. They actually got close somewhat, perhaps they could've even been considered friends, perhaps there was- no... she thought, her stupidity and selfishness costed her that to. Besides, Rainbow already had close friends, friends she nearly hurt. She winced, so much regret, so many stupid decisions. She didn't want to accept it, but she knew it, all she had were her dreams, and her parents. The words crept into her mind, there is nothing.... But,...perhaps all was not lost, perhaps there was still something...anything.. Maybe, I just have to keep searching. She threw down his reclining chair searching for any note, any piece of paper, anything, but no, there was nothing. She hurried over to their old bedroom, tearing down the furniture, scraping at the walls, rummaging through the clothes, nothing. She moved about sluggishly, her eyes wide with horror, there was nothing, absolutely nothing! He was just, gone, leaving her with the burden of suicide, the guilt of not knowing if it was her fault, if he even cared about her wellbeing. The pain of not even saying goodbye. She cringed, screaming once more as she busted into her room. She tore down the posters, fluttering about violently as she tossed her books to the ground, in a blind rage she just continued to search angrily, nothing, nothing, nothing! She trotted slowly towards her desk, a somewhat psychotic persona washed over her, she looked insane. She opened the drawer, and stared at the picture of her mother, pulling it out soon afterwords. "Sorry mom..looks like I failed again..." Her eyes shot wide, as she chuckled "Again..." she went to the kitchen as she pulled out the butcher knife. She gave the picture of her mother and her at the pegasi grand prix a callous cold expression. She then stabbed the picture, violently, continuously, muttering "Again, again, again, again!" Tears dripped on the picture as she broke down while stabbing it, her lower lip quivered as she trembled, just continuing the motion "Again, again, again, again!" As she looked at the picture, repeating that one word, sobbing as she shredded it into tiny pieces with the knife, she began to wonder if she was referring to herself, or them. As she realized that she'd practically annihilated the only photo she had of her mom, she continued to sob, looking at the shredded bits spread about the countertop, the fresh cuts on the surface, even the small nicks she gave herself without noticing. She barely got out the words, sounding hoarse and scared, frightened, alone..... "You guys really suck...you know that.." She fell to floor, crying, she felt so pathetic, like some filly feeling sorry for herself. This wasn't like her, she was confident, bold, the best of the best, she was Lightning Dust! But she couldn't help but cry, it just came over her like a hurricane that needed to pass. This intense feeling of loneliness, shame, regret, the world felt so vast, and so empty at the same time. Nopony was there, nopony but her, and her grief. After some time, she just remained there, in the kitchen. Staring at the floor, she felt like she was being overdosed on badluck, it was a humorous way to look at things. It's too bad she sucked at making friends, perhaps they would of found that idea funny to. Suddenly she heard a knock on the door, then two more times. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK! So, they're finally here huh? She remained there, she'd finally managed to regain her composure, calming down, but she was now practically dead, she was tired, exhausted, all she wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up. As she staggered to her hooves, she sighed heavily before making her way to the door. Along the way she stopped by the living room once again, she ignored the mess she made and just went and knelt by her dad, she gave him a soft nuzzle on the forehead and closed his eyes with her hooves. She smiled softly at him then going to the door, not noticing she stepped on the bag with the loaf of bread, crushing it into pieces. As she opened the door, she peered up at the two lunar guards who looked at her worriedly. "Ma'am, is everything alright? Ponies say they heard screaming." Lightning Dust shook her head, then stepped aside, giving a slight nudge, signaling them to just go see for themselves. They gazed at each other for a second before going in, as they saw what a disaster the house was in, the corpse on the ground, and the beaten, shaken up mare. They made their assumptions "Ma'am, we'll have to ask you to come with us." Lightning Dust nodded "Sure..." They forced her along, down the stairs as they kept a close eye on her, as they arrived at the front of the building, one nodded to the other, signaling he was going to get help. The second lunar guard just watched Lightning Dust, making sure she didn't run off, after some time they finally returned, accompanied by a detective, he went upstairs to check out the scene himself before arriving back downstairs. Lightning Dust just remained on the steps leading into the building, ponies gathered around as they spectated at the one new happening that livened the boring old city of Cloudsdale. And so, things drifted back to the beginning, back to the steps. The detective tapped his hoof impatiently, then looked to Lightning Dust. "Hey, hey, you with me? Hellooooo~ anypony home?" Lightning Dust blinked a bit, before looking over at him tiredly, curiously. He rolled his eyes. "Listen little lady, you're in some serious business here. You got a corpse laying in your house, cuts on your hooves, everything in there is a complete mess. Do you understand how this looks?" Lightning Dust gazed up at him, at first innocently, as if she had no idea what he was talking about. She then looked back at the ground, drifting back into her thoughts. "Bah, this is pointless!" The detective groaned. Lightning Dust was too tired to care, too lost to worry about such things, did any of it even matter anymore? It was late at night and the last thing the detective wanted to do was deal with some mare who refused to speak. He paced back and forth, soon lifting Lightning Dust to her hooves and calling over two guards. "Alright, don't feel like talking? Well perhaps a night in the station will soften you up. Take her to Filly for now boys, we'll clear up things from there." Lightning Dust's eyes widened Filly? So, to think she'd be heading to the place where her mom lived. That was interesting, maybe she could find her, maybe they could get together, but, there were a lot of maybes weren't there, never any certainties. With that the Lunar guard guided the mare into a small chariot, closing and locking the doors, and from there, Fillydelphia. It was raining in Fillydelphia, the city was quite beautiful. It was lush with a pinch of countryside, but also had many buildings and homely looking houses. It was a real family friendly community, this caused Lightning Dust to smile, finally. As the chariot arrived at the station, she already knew what her plans were, she didn't second guess herself, no more of that. As they arrived, the guards escorted her into the station, she seemed too broken to attempt escaping so they just decided to let her sit in waiting area until the detective arrived. As expected they eventually began conversing amongst themselves. Lightning Dust easily took this chance to escape, her speed easily unmatched in such cases, she was too used to doing this by now. Wonderbolt Academy training and the times she ran away from home to get away from all the fighting, this was all too easy. She had a different destination in mind, but, she honestly wasn't expecting much. The rain drenched her coat, and her mane, but she didn't care. She stood in front of probably the only place that frightened her in all of Equestria, her mother's words coming up in her head, as she peered down at the wet grass of the beautiful yard. "I'll make sure to visit often." She laughed a bit, how funny, visit often. But why was she standing here? It's not like this could end well either way, was she looking for some comfort, some form of closure on dad, maybe she just wanted somepony to talk to. She always wanted to be in this position though, perhaps under different circumstances sure, but, mom always had something positive to say. After graduation, she recalled how she tracked her down, not physically of course, she didn't want her to think that she didn't trust she'd visit. She was never even sure if what she found was accurate. She just never pursued this craving, mom wanted her out of her life, then she'd have it. But now, things were different, dad was gone, and she was all that was left. Hah, so many assumptions, for all she knew, she wasn't even here, this could probably just be some random house. But, if you're taken to Fillydelphia under suspicion of murder, might as well right? Lightning Dust began her approach. The sounds of the rain were comforting, the multiple droplets hitting against the ground, the caressing sound like a running shower. The feeling of the cool water running through her gorgeous aquamarine coat, drenching her amber mane causing it to hang low. Lightning Dust walked through the yard, approaching the front door to the large house in front of her, she gulped, she trotted slowly, each step took some time, and courage. As she trotted, memories flooded through her head, memories of such pleasing, happy times, that's all mom mostly provided. As she finally made it to the front door, she felt a smile creep onto her face, she raised a hoof, she was actually going to do it, she was going to-. "Of course sweetie." Her eyes snapped wide. Mom? Through the hollow door, she could hear that comforting voice speak. It sounded distant, but it was there, it was most certainly there. Lightning Dust's hoof trembled, it was mom, but, she wasn't talking to her, that was impossible, she didn't even know she was there, then who? "Hmhm, and how about we go to Canterlot! I always wanted to visit the Princesses!" That sounded like a hyperactive colt. Lightning Dust winced her eyes somewhat, just listening. "What? You want to visit the Princesses, aren't you a boy?" The voice of a little filly, it seems. Lightning Dust was no fool, she knew where this was going, her expression sunk, but still she remained, still she continued to listen. "Now quiet you two, your mom promised she'll take you, and you both know she never breaks her promises. Now go on, go play in your rooms, let your mother relax." The pegasi from the grand prix, of course. Lightning Dust could hear the two young ponies chuckle and laugh as their voices faded from earshot. She lowered her head. Mom's laughter, her husbands laughter, her children's laughter, they all seemed, so, so happy. She just remained silent, by this time she lowered her hoof, but remained to listen still. "Aw, why'd you go and do that, they could of stayed." Mom sounded so affectionate. "Because I wanted to keep you all to myself. Come here you." , "Hehe" Lightning Dust gritted her teeth at first, she could feel the anger swell inside her but, soon it was gone. She just smiled softly, hah, even now, she couldn't stay mad at mom. How could she blame her for making her decision, look at her, she was happy, in love, with a functional family. Her plan worked, she was enjoying life. Lightning Dust felt proud of herself as well, she was glad she felt happy for her, although she couldn't tell if she was crying due to the rain, if she was, she was certain they were tears of joy. Good for you mom. "What's wrong hun?" Her husband pondered. Lightning Dust's mother sighed heavily "It's just I can't help but-" VROOOM! Both her and her husband's eyes widened as it sounded like a small rocket had just launched in front of their house. Lightning Dust's mother got off the couch and made her way to the door. Her husband looked at her with a saddened expression "You still thinking about Lightning?" She lowered her head with saddened eyes "Y-Yes...it's just that, I know she'd never have forgiven me for missing her graduation. But, Lightning is a strong girl, she pulls through." She opened the door to unexpectedly find nothing there, only a empty yard and the pouring rain. She blinked a bit with a somewhat worried expression. Her husband cocked a brow "What's wrong hun?" She looked back at him "I don't know, I just got this strange feeling." He laughed somewhat "it's probably nothing." She sighed heavily, gazing back out towards the empty yard once more before shrugging and nodding, closing the door. "Yea, you're probably right, just nothing." Lightning Dust bolted through the skies. She looked determined, focused, as if she were 100% certain where she would go from here. She just continued to fly and fly through the skies, she felt like a filly again, running away from home, trying to search for a place to think, but this was still different. She knew where she wanted to go. Lightning Dust eventually stopped, landing on a small cloud. Far off in the distance, one could see the beautiful Cloudsdale, and even further, if you had really good eyesight, Canterlot. Lightning Dust had saddened eyes as she looked at the beautiful sights, she looked as if she were admiring them one last time. She took in a deep breath, flapping her wings as she spread them out in a good stretch. She chuckled somewhat, looking down below, it was a beautiful sight, the large pastures of open land, the lakes and rivers and forests. She looked up "This, this is the perfect spot..." Lightning Dust smiled, lowered her back hooves, sitting gently upon the cloud. She smiled, looking off into the distance, a look of melancholy on her face. Her mane blew with the wind, rustling in the air, she'd always looked so groomed at the academy, this natural feeling she had about her now made her feel nice. She looked up at the sky "Haha, now you give me a nice moment, you have a creepy sense of humor you know that?" She wasn't even sure who she was referring to, she didn't even believe in ponygods besides Celestia and Luna if you could call them that. Perhaps it was just a fun thing to say. She took in the sights, for another brief moment. She stood to all fours stretching once more. "Well, guess I should get started....." The place was beautiful, relaxing, lonely but her's, it was silent with ambience, a world without words.