It has been about a week since I landed in this magical world known as Equestria. Applejack has been quite helpful by teaching me a bit about the country. However, her knowledge on the subjects of political systems, social norms, cultural differences, and taboos was severely lacking. So she elected to get me a few books from her librarian friend. It took me all of three days to go through the books. I will say it once, this world shouldn’t exist. A world where there hasn’t been an armed conflict in a millennia, famine is non-existent, disease is easily countered, and political climates are incredibly mild. Rubric is never going to believe me.
Anyway, so I figured that I didn’t want to stay on the farm forever. The problem with leaving is that a huge dragon roaming the country is a cause for alarm. Seems that is the norm no matter what universe you are in. So the most effective way for me to go on my adventure would be if I looked like one of the locals. I had three choices. I could be a magic wielding unicorn, a flight capable Pegasus, or some boring earth pony… no offence to Applejack. For me the need for flight is much greater than the need to cast spells. So a Pegasus would be my shape shifted form.
After explaining to Applejack that I really could shape shift into any living creature she finally sat down with me and helped weigh the pros and cons to each race.
“Well Zir, you could always be an earth pony like me.” There was definitely a sense of pride in her voice.
“Uh huh… what are the benefits?”
“Well you’ll be stronger and faster than most the other pony races.”
I just stared at her. “Will I be able to fly or use magic?”
“Ah… no…”
I straightened out my back and struck a more regal pose. “Then we shall move onto the next race.”
“Well, you could always be a Pegasus. That way you can keep yer wings.”
“Hmm,” I scratched my chin with a claw. “I do very much enjoy flying…”
“Then it’s settled.”
“Alright then, that was easy. Now to get the form right…” I thought of what a Pegasus looked like and focused on it. Now let me say that I did manage to shift into a Pegasus. The only problem was that it was my idea of a Pegasus, not the Equestrian version of one. Applejack was just staring at me in shock.
“So uh… I take it this isn’t what it should look like?” She just shook her head without changing her expression. I sighed deeply and dropped the form, reverting back to my natural self.
“Ok, I guess I’ll go earth pony until I can figure out what the other two look like.” She almost looked disgusted with what I had changed into.
“Yeah uh, that would probably be fer the best.” It was at that point that I began hearing noises getting closer. It sounded like someone coming up the road toward the farm. I poked my head just over the roof of the barn and saw the newcomers. One was a purple unicorn an equally purple mane and tail. The other was a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, easily the strangest and most absurd thing I have ever seen. I ducked back down behind the barn as they got closer.
“Um Applejack, I think you have company coming.” She shot a quick glance around the barn and sure enough there they were.
“Zir! You gotta hide or shift or something!”
“Wait… I thought you said dragons aren’t hated around here?”
“They ain't, but ah can’t just have one sittin on mah farm. Please Zir!”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Oh fine…” With a single thought I assumed the form of an earth pony roughly the same size as AJ, only with a silver coat and a dark blue mane and tail.
“Better?”
“Much, now come on and be social.”
I followed close behind her and approached the newcomers cautiously. AJ bounded up to them like they were old friends, probably because that’s exactly what they were. They were talking about random things that I had no interest in. I sat quietly about ten feet behind AJ, quietly observing the group. That was until one of them took notice of me.
“Say AJ, who’s your colt friend over there?” The rainbow one began snickering like a schoolchild.
She ignored the jab and rolled her eyes “This here’s Zircom; he’s been helping me on the farm.” At this point the unicorn became very interested in me.
“Zircom? Such an odd name for an earth pony…” she was very skeptical and probably took note in my sudden nervousness. She slowly began walking up to me while the rainbow one hovered just a few feet in front of me. Both were scrutinizing every detail of my form, as if they were expecting me to be some imposter.
“Uh, yeah… I’m uh… not from around here…” Dear Bahamut I hope they buy it.
The Pegasus glared at me. “Yeah, I’m not buyin in.”
"Fuck..."
Thankfully I think the unicorn might have taken my excuse. “So then where are you from?”
“FUUUUUUUUCK.”
“Oh…uh, I’m from a small town up north. Probably isn’t on any map or in any record.” My sheepish grin and horrible lying skills were not saving my ass in any way shape or form. To be fair, AJ was also visibly sweating.
The unicorn then tilted her head toward me slightly, still giving me the death stare. What really scared me was when her horn began to glow. Being magically trained I could usually determine what spell was about to be cast at me. Naturally I would not worry about it, seeing as how dragons are naturally resistant to magic. My issue was that I had no idea how powerful she was.
“Um… what are you doing?”
She kept her horn pointed at me. “Well Zircom, I am detecting an incredibly large amount of magic coming from you; way too much for any earth pony.”
Then I made the connection. She was about to blast away my disguise. I had no clue how powerful this dispel was going to be. So I did the only sensible thing.
“Please… no…” I was begging quite pathetically.
It was now that the rainbow one looked like she was ready to beat my ass as soon as the unicorn dispelled my form. In truth I could have easily killed everyone here and ran away, but I’m not like that. Besides, I highly doubt they could really do serious damage to me.
Ignoring my plea, the unicorn fired off her spell which hit me like a Tarrasque. My spell resistance was completely useless. In the moment I had before her spell destroyed my form I realized something; this unicorn could give Rubric a serious run for his money. So with a blinding light and a pop my earth pony form was obliterated, leaving me in my massive true form. Suffice to say the unicorn was not expecting that. However, her rainbow friend didn’t care and shot up toward my head.
I opened my mouth to say something that would calm the situation and avoid any unnecessary violence. However, I never got the chance to. With a swift kick the Pegasus hit my lower jaw straight up. Now it wouldn’t have been a problem if my mouth was closed, but since it was open it collided with my upper jaw and nearly sent my brain out the top of my head. Everything went black and I toppled over.
Applejack could only watch in stunned amazement at what had just happened. As soon as I was down for the count the unicorn turned to AJ.
“Applejack are you alright?” She sounded panicked.
“Twi! What did ya go and do that for?!”
Twilight reeled her head back in shock. “But he’s a…”
“Woah AJ, are you trying to defend this creep?!” she pointed her hooves at my unconscious body.
“Because he was workin for me, Rainbow!”
“WHAT!?” they both shouted in unison.
She sighed and dropped her head slightly. “Ya might as well get comfy, cause this might take a few minutes to explain.” She proceeded to explain my being there, how I got there, our first meeting, our deal, and other little tid bits only to satisfy Twilight’s curiosity. After AJ explained my existence they all turned back toward me, unsure of what to do with a ten ton unconscious dragon.
“Dear Celestia Rainbow, how hard did ya buck him?”
Rainbow Dash looked hurt and confused, “What?! I thought he was gonna, like, eat us or something!” Both AJ and Rainbow began arguing over the use of excessive force and any potential legal repercussions. Thankfully for them I had no idea how the legal system worked in Equestria. Twilight on the other hand was busy inspecting every inch of me.
After a nice twenty minute involuntary nap, my brain decided to drop back into place, allowing my body to start normal functions. I slowly opened one eye and noticed nothing but dirt and some grass, oh and this very shiny rock. I then opened the other eye and was greeted with three faces. One was AJ, the other was my assailant, and the other was the one who zapped my disguise. It was then that the Pegasus began waving her front hooves over her head in an attempt to garner my attention.
“Helllllooooo, can you hear me?”
“Rainbow Dash! Leave him alone, I’m sure he can hear you just fine… right?” The unicorn was then looking at me with a more worried look; one that a mother would give her child after a bad fall.
“Ya feelin all right there Zir?” AJ pushed her way through Rainbow to get closer to my head.
What I meant to say to her was something along the lines of ‘Yes, I’m fine. I will have a headache for a few hours though.’
What actually came out of my mouth was less than intelligent. As I tried to open my mouth to respond in a civilized manner a searing pain shot through my lower jaw. It was intense enough to make me wince and whimper a bit. Bringing a claw up, I soon felt a massive bulge on the side of my head where my jaw hinged. Even the slightest touch sent unbearable pain through my skull and elicited another pathetic whimper and groan from me.
“Well good going Rainbow, you managed to really hurt him.” Twilight was less than amused and sounded slightly frustrated.
“Well sorry! I thought he was going to eat me!”
“He wasn’t going to eat anypony!” it was nice seeing AJ fight for me, although I think it had to do with the horribly pathetic state I was in.
“Graaah! Fine! What do you want me to do then? Kiss it and make it better!?” She was flailing her arms in the air while hovering a few feet off the ground.
“Dash, since you were the one who broke his jaw you can be the one to go get Fluttershy.” Twilight stated very calmly after taking a deep breath and making a sweeping motion with a hoof. I’ll need to ask her about that when I can talk again.
“Oh all right…” A defeated Dash then sped off toward what I assume was Fluttershy’s house.
About twenty minutes later, Dash and who I can only assume was Fluttershy, appeared down the road. The yellow Pegasus had two red bags across her back, barely visible behind her pink mane. As soon as she saw me she froze. The others groaned and sighed together. Rainbow was having none of it and pushed her the rest of the way toward my head, her look of fear only growing as she got closer.
Now only a foot away from my head she turned her attention toward the large bulge on my face. That was when Twilight chimed in.
“So, uh, we think Rainbow might have broken his jaw.”
“Hey!” she shouted back in indignation.
Twilight snorted at her and turned back to Fluttershy. “If anyone can help him it’s you.”
Fluttershy was visibly shaking at this point. “B-b-but he’s a d-d-d-dragon.” It sounded like someone was shaking her violently as she spoke.
“Yes Fluttershy, he is. Now I remember how brave you were when the Princess sent us to deal with that sleeping dragon on the mountain. If it weren’t for you we probably would have failed. I know you can be brave around dragons. Just remember how brave you were.” Twilight used a hoof to gently lift Fluttershy’s chin.
“Fluttershy, this is Zircom. AJ says he is really quite nice and not mean or scary.” Sweet, now Twilight was taking my side too.
“Well… if AJ says he’s nice…” Fluttershy then turned to me, meeting my gaze for a moment before turning to my bulging jaw. I swear, in that moment of eye contact I felt like my heart was just going to melt. There was just something about these ponies, except for Rainbow whom I am kinda mad at, that makes you just wanna hug them and never let go.
I instinctually held my breath and braced myself for pain as she placed a hoof on the spot. I was surprised when nothing happened. I relaxed a bit and watched her gently prod areas of my face.
“Well his jaw isn’t broken. It’s just dislocated.”
I breathed an audible sigh of relief. I could hear the others do the same. Fluttershy then stood with both front hooves placed lightly on my jaw.
“Ok now, I’m going to put it back into place. This might hurt a little, okay?” Wow… she was sincere and actually seemed to care about how this was going to make me feel. I nodded my confirmation that I was ready and braced myself for the tidal wave of pain that was about to come.
“Alright then… one… two…” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tight. “Three.” She leaned in hard and pushed my jaw back into place with a disgusting popping sound. Instead of the searing pain I was expecting, something much worse happened. My eyes shot open in agony, my vision began to swirl and soon faded to black. My body seized up, twitched a few times and then relaxed as I lost consciousness for the second time today.
Fluttershy immediately jumped away from me as my convulsions began. The others could only watch in horror as my body seized up with my eyes wide open. It lasted only seconds, none of which I remember. Once my body gave up and relaxed Fluttershy was by my side, making sure I hadn’t caused any further self-injury.
“So…um… AJ, why do you have a dragon on your farm?” Fluttershy asked in her usual timid and meek voice.
Applejack could only sigh. “Ah’m just gonna give ya the short version.” Fluttershy nodded and listened intently. Twilight was busy using numerous spells on me and jotting down information on a levitating clip board, and Rainbow Dash was asleep on a cloud above us all.
My name is Zircom, and I no longer know what the fuck is going on.