I was now staring at three young fillies, one who was a… pegasus? It’s face seemed really green, and I caught the whiff of vomit amidst the smell of hydra flesh. Poor girl, I mused to myself.
“…N-nothin’, nothin’ at all sir,’ the golden colored one with a scarlet mane and a humongous bowtie responded, quivering with fear as I looked at them with my blood covered muzzle. I managed a reptilian version of a snicker before I looked back at my meal, it was almost finished but I was quite full from that. I guess being a Spinosaurus does increase your stomach.
“Don’t worry, kiddo. You can tell me what you three are doing out in a such a dangerous place,” I answered back as I dipped my snout into the water and shook it clean of the blood. I felt a little bit like that guy from Jurassic Park.
“…W-we followed ya here, an’ we saw th’ hydra and ya fightin’,” she said back as the orange pegasus put a hoof on her mouth and turned green again as her eyes darted onto the unfinished hydra.
“Oh, about that…” I looked down with contempt. I probably traumatized them with my actions, but it had to be done. “Sorry about that, being an extinct creature had its repercussions.”
“What?” the white colored white asked me as she started slowly trotting towards me besides the awful smell of blood. “You’re extinct? But you’re here!”
I sighed. “Well, this is going to be a long story,” I said as I tried to sit down but failed to do so. “Do you guys want to hear my story or do you want to go back to wherever you came from and send millions of soldiers to kill me?” they swapped looks, before the golden one nodded her head, followed by the pegasus.
“Then take a sit, I see a big enough log for the three of you,” I looked over to a fallen tree, they followed suit and sat on the bark of the tree. I took a few big steps back and lowered myself down enough for my front arms to touch the floor. This is so much like giving those damn tourists lectures about the fossils.
“Now, what are your names?” I asked them, obviously curious with talking ponies after my brief encounter with another two much earlier.
“Mah name’s Appleboom,”
“Sweetie Belle, sir,”
“S-scootaloo, mister,”
Very odd names indeed, but I was in a land with mythical creatures so that didn’t seem too out of place.
“Good to know, my name is Ethan. I was a human before I turned into… a dinosaur,” I explained my situation to the three of them who had their attention straight at me with utmost attentiveness.
“What’s a human? And what’s a dinosaur?” Applebloom asked in curiosity.
“Well, a human is a mammal. You ever seen a monkey?” they looked around, and shook their heads. “Oh brother. Well, humans are really pink and bipedal, that means two legged. They possess the power of speech as you see in front of you,” I continued, they listened attentively. These kids were better than the tourists I had to endure, that was a good thing.
“But you’re a big critter that can talk! Are you a dragon?” I took particular interest in this question. Dragons? They exist too? Most interesting, I shall investigate this matter later.
“No, I am not a dragon. I am a human that has seemingly transformed into a creature known commonly as a dinosaur,” I said, looking at the sky. It was getting a little bit darker. I let out a crocodilian cough, startling them. “Sorry about that,” I apologized.
“Anyway, I am a certain kind of a dinosaur called a theropod. And they are carnivorous, you kids are lucky I didn’t choose you as my side platter after that hydra.” I joked at the last part, but I don’t think that worked especially since I just brutally mauled and ate a friggin’ hydra.
“The theropod I have transformed into is called a Spinosaurus, which is what you see right now,” I said, my sail felt really, really weird. I guess they were right about thermoregulation.
“That’s pretty cool, mister Ethan,” said Sweetie Belle, earning a crooked smile. I looked up again, and looked down at them. It was slowly becoming dusk.
“You guys should probably go home, but before that,” I turned my attention to Applebloom. “You related to a orange mare wearing a Stetson?” I asked her.
“Yup, she’s mah sister, Applejack.” I grunted, this filly was her frickin’ sister.
“Oh damn, well I hate to tell you this but I had a very unfortunate… accident with her and her orchard.” I said with total regret for wrecking the pony’s farmland. Couldn’t anything not go wrong in one day?
“Oh, okay. At least she ain’t hurt, right?” she said to me.
“She wasn’t, ran off to the town I saw earlier on. What’s the name of that place? anyway”
“Um… Ponyville.” Ponyville? Sounds rural, and like that damn Facebook game.
“Oh, thanks kiddo. Now if you excuse me, I must be off, sleeping’s gonna be big part of my job as a temporary dinosaur,” I said as the three of them trotted away, their looks had changed from terror into happiness after having a conversation with an intelligent reptile. I cracked my signature smile and stomped off into the dark forest. I planned to go deeper to avoid detection, but I figure it might be better sleeping closer to the town. Even for a large reptile like me, I would get pinned down by a pack of predators deeper in the forest if I was caught off guard.
So I turned around and walked back to the path, with my constant stomping it should be easy to scare off potential attackers. I thought I heard something muttering in the midst of the forest but I dismissed them. I reached the outskirts of the forest, and took a good look of Ponyville.
Jesus, I have never seen so many goddamned ponies in my life, and they were bright as shit. I never took notice of my color, but it didn’t matter as long as I blended in to the foliage. I spied some sort of group outside a suspicious looking tree, was there some sort of event going on? I didn’t care at all.
I grunted as I tried to lie down to sleep, but I had a feeling something was watching me. I don’t know why it frightens me even though I was a 14.3 meters tall dinosaur, but it did. I swerved my head in a heartbeat, and found a trembling yellow pegasus standing a few feet away from my body.
“Eep!” it yelped and cowered under its front hooves. I grumbled, when was the hostile reception going to end?
“What do you want now? I just ate a hydra for lunch and all I need now is a good… nap!” I said as I put my head back down onto the forest’s floor.
“Y-y-you can talk..? And y-you just ate a hydra?” she asked meekly, I lifted up my head and nodded. “O-o-oh no… it’s like that talking shark I just met a few hours ago again…”
Wait, a talking shark? “That’s right, lass. I ate a goddamned hydra, so what? I’m a big fucking bipedal predatory beast and I do what they do! And what’s with this shark you speak of?” I said, increasing my tone to that of a roar.
“I’m so, so sorry… sir. I didn’t mean to make you angry…” it stammered, her eyes were watering. I sighed lowly, the eyes! Why the fucking puppy eyes?!
“… Its alright, I have no reason to be angry unless you want to get your head chomped off like a twig with a bulldozer,” I replied back causing her to back away. I was going to be very pissed off if this nonsense didn’t stop sooner or later, getting to this cartoonish land was already infuriating enough.
“…Wha-what’s a bulldozer…?” she asked, I wanted to sleep and let her get away before I really, really got angry.
“Something that you shouldn’t worry about, now let me sleep,” I finished off, to my dismay she took a bold step forward.
“Sorry, sir. I was wondering what was that noise I heard while feeding my animals. All of them fled from the house the second they heard you,” she explained why she was out here as I flickered.
“It’s okay, kid. Animals tend to flee from beings larger than them. Although you are certainly the bold type,” I remarked at her bravery to approach such a dinosaur like me.
“What’s your name? My name is Fluttershy, sir.”
“Name’s Ethan, nice to meet you.”
She cocked her head the second I said my name. “That’s an odd name for a… dragon,” she said, incurring my wrath at this damn word again.
“For the love of- I am not a friggin’ dragon! I’m a bloody DINOSAUR!” I roared, causing the birds roosting above to fly away hastily and the pegasus to cower once more. Damn it, dragons had wings! I don't have wings, only this sail of mine!
I calmed down, I was never the one to hold back my anger. “Sorry about that, been through a hell of a day.”
“It’s ok-okay sir, just… don’t do that again...” she said with the damn puppy eyes. She was good.
“Fine,” I responded, surrendering to the eyes of Fluttershy. “Just don’t ask me questions that are very stupid. I had more than my fair share of stupid questions in one day.”
“Ok-okay… sir,” she replied as she slowly backed away from my form. I was getting really tired and let out a loud yawn, or what seemed to be one.
“By the w-way, that shark that I talked about… he’s in town with my friends…” she said, gaining my interest once again. A talking shark in Ponyville? I must meet him, maybe he’s my way out of this cartoonish land.
She then bid farewell to me, and I responded with a lowly huff as I laid my head on the forest floor. But before I slept, I directed my one eye onto where she was going because I could smell… blood from wherever she came from. Not the blood of the hydra I fought, just the blood of… fishes? I looked up one last time into the sky and found it was the right time to sleep as darkness set in.
I soon fell into a deep slumber, silently hoping whatever brought me here would somehow bring me back to her and the museum. I missed being human.
---
“…Thank you, sir! Have a nice day!” the doorbell chimed as the souvenir store’s last customer walked out. Kendra was at most happy with what she had. At least fifty bucks was worth something. The day was over, no more tours and no more people.
She sighed. “Where is that lovable guy?” she mused, normally Ethan would be quite noisy once he was done with the check on Rosella, but it was strangely serene. She looked out of the windows of the store before she got up and left the store, not before closing the lights and locking the door with a click. Fiddling with the keys, she walked to his office, only to find something very odd on the way.
Right next to the skeleton was a ladder, the janitorial room door ajar. “…Ethan?” she asked as she pulled out her phone to try and find him.
Then the phone rung loudly, in his room. “That’s bad…” she said, worried for her friend for he never left his office without it. It was then when she spotted something glowing brightly on one of the spines of the skeleton, next to where the ladder's top was.
“...Rainbows?” She dropped her Nokia in surprise at the object. Somewhere in the world, someone too said that.