//------------------------------// // How Vegeta Became a Brony // Story: How Vegeta Became a Brony // by TheSnarkKnight30 //------------------------------// Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z or My Little Pony To listen to the audio book click here. : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqvPQtpOxEs Vegeta's POV I sat on the couch trying to hide my disgust. It was that time of the week again, movie night. Every Friday Trunks, Bulma, and I take turns picking a movie to watch. This week was Bulma's turn. She always picked the mushy gushy movies that make you want to puke by the time the opening credits come on the screen. She was taking forever to pick what movie she wanted to watch. What chick flick would it be this time, Twilight? " This one looks cute." She said. She handed me a DVD with smiling ponies on the cover. That was when I drew the line. " I'm not going to watch that girly trash, woman. That show is for five year old girls, not for the Prince of all Sayans." I said. " If you don't watch it, I'm going to put a red sock in your lights laundry. Then all your little white gloves and boots will be pink." Bulma threatened. I heard a knock on the door. I'm saved. The world must have been in peril, or something. That would have been the perfect excuse of getting out of watching My Little Pony. I opened the door and looked down at Goten. " Hey, Bulma! Can Trunks come play?" Goten asked. " Why of course you could. Have fun you two. Stay out of trouble." Bulma said. "Okay. See you later." Goten said. " Darn, now he's going to miss the video." I said feigning disappointment. " He already knows about friendship. You don't." My wife said putting the DVD in the DVD player. The theme song started to play. I gagged. Bulma's eyes were fixed on the television. At first I had no interest in it at all, but by the third episode I memorized all of the mane six's names. I could feel the theme song getting stuck in my head. The situations that the ponies went through sounded similar to what happens in real life. We were in the middle of the last episode called Fall Weather Friends and all of the sudden, Bulma paused the television. I never even saw if Rainbow Dash beat Applejack. My hands ball into clenched fists. " What did you do that for, woman?" I asked. I mentally scolded myself for almost blowing my cover. " I have to go to the bathroom." She said. " The sooner you get back, the sooner we could get this crap over with." I snapped. She ignored me and shut the bathroom door behind her. It took every bit of my self control to prevent the temptation of unpausing the DVD. I looked at the clock, it was almost midnight. That was it, I was tired. I couldn't like this garbage. Twenty minutes later Bulma came out of the bathroom with her make up off and in her pajamas. " I'm going to go to bed. We could finished this tomorrow, Honey." She said. I climbed in the bed and stared at the ceiling for about an hour. Then I saw something bright from the corner of my eye. " Hi, there Vegeta." A pink pony with a frizzy mane said. " Pinkie Pie, how do you know my name?" I asked. " I'm a figment of your imagination. I know everything you know, Silly Willy." She said jumping up and down on the mattress. " Go back to the glue factory, stupid pony!" I say putting a pillow over my head. " You know you want to see the end of the episode. You were having so much fun." Pinkie Pie said grinning from ear to ear. I turned around to see if Bulma was asleep. She could sleep through a heard of buffalo. " Come on, Vegeta. It's okay to love me." Pinkie Pie said spinning around in a circle. " I have a wife. Now leave me alone." I said. " Fine, suit yourself. I'm going to commentate the race with Spike while you lay in your boring bed and saw boring logs. Have fun." She said disappearing. " NO! Pinkie Pie, don't go!" I begged. The pink mare faded away into the darkness. I knew what I had to do. I had to finish the episode and then go to bed. I went back downstairs and took the movie out of the case and into the DVD player. I watched the rest of the episode to satisfy my curiosity. The competitive nature between Rainbow Dash and Applejack reminded me of the way Kakarot and I behave. I tried to go back into my room but then Pinkie Pie appeared in front of me once more. " You're going to bed?" She said disappointedly. " Yes, the episodes are over so I am going to sleep." I said. " You can always watch me and my friends on youtube on Bulma's laptop." She said blasting me in the face with her party cannon. I went inside Bulma's office typed in her password, Huggingbunnies555, and watched five more episodes. I subconsciously memorized the lyrics to the theme song. That was when I started to worry. I needed sleep. Then it would all go away. " Goodnight, Veggie." Pinkie Pie said drifting through my window with balloons tied around her waist. " Goodnight, Pinkie Pie." I said. I got a good night sleep dreaming about beating Kakarot with the six ponies cheering me on. The next morning I got up and went into the shower. As I lather my hair in shampoo I hear myself humming the theme song. I cover my mouth. " Catchy isn't it." Pinkie Pie said jumping out of the drain. " Pinkie, get out of here! I'm naked." I said. " Oopsie." She said flushing herself down the toilet. I turned off the water, dried myself off and put on my clothes. Then I put on a hooded cloak and stopped at the doctor's office. " What seems to be the problem, sir?" The doctor asked. " I am a Brony. What should I do?" I asked trying to conceal my face. " I'm afraid there is no cure. It is getting more and more contagious day by day. The best thing you could do is embrace it." The doctor said. I punched him in the stomach as hard as I could. All these years of medical school and he can't even resolve an obsession with technicolor ponies? "Ow." The doctor said hunching over and wincing in pain. "Now you're the one who will need to see a doctor." I said. "Have you considered taking anger management?" The doctor asked. " You're worthless." I shouted. There had to be a way to keep my mind off of these ponies. Some hard alcohol should wipe out my memory. The bar across the street would be the perfect place to unwind. Nappa is slumped up on top of a bar stool. He took another sip of his beer. I could smell the alcohol under his breath. "You don't look so good, Vegeta. A little drink might make you feel better." Nappa slurred. "Give me the strongest alcohol you got." I said to the bar tender. She laughs. "I don't think that's a good idea. Your body might not be able to handle it," The bar tender warned. "What are you, my mother? I'm the prince of all sayans. I'm tough enough to handle anything." I grumbled. "If you say so." The bar tender said pouring me a drink. I chugged it down and wiped my chin with my glove. When I moved my arm away from my face Pinkie Pie was standing right in front of me. "Hi! Do you wanna hear a joke? Here it goes. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? Get it? Huh? Huh?" Pinkie Pie giggles. "Where do you keep coming from!?" I yelled slamming my shot glass on the table. The shot glass shattered into tiny little pieces. "Hey, Vegeta? Who are you talking to?" Nappa asked. "This annoying little pink pony who keep following me everywhere I go." I replied rubbing my temples. "Most people see pink elephants when they're drunk, not pink ponies." Nappa said hiccuping between his words. "It's all my darn wife's fault. If that woman didn't make me watch that show I wouldn't be in this mess." I said feeling dizzy from the alcohol. "Women are nothing but trouble,but they sure are hot." Nappa said gawking at the bar tender. "Can I get you guys anything else?" The bar tender asked. For a couple of seconds she morphed herself into a pony. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me. There is no way a human could turn into a pony. After I ordered another drink Nappa turned into a pony too. "Nappa! What happened to you?" I asked falling off of my stool. "When you killed me that one time I got a nasty scar. But I think it will heal even-" Nappa said. "Not that, you idiot! You're a unicorn!" I gasped. "Am I a pretty unicorn?" Nappa said batting his pony eyes at me. "No,your a bald ugly unicorn with a flipping mustache." I said. "Hey, Lady! This guy's alcohol level is over 9,000. You better help him. And get me another drink while you're at it." Nappa said to the bar tender. "I think you've had enough to drink for one night." The bar tender said. "This reminds me of the time when I ate all Mrs. Cake's brownies and I got really really sick." Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "Go bother somepony else Pinkie Pie!" I said. "I can't leave you alone until you learn the true meaning of friendship." Pinkie Pie said. "You have got to be kidding me. There you go again with that friendship mumbo jumbo. Well I don't want to hear about it!" I said. "Looks like I'm going to have to drag him out." The Bar Tender said dragging me in my own vomit across the floor. "Get your hooves off me!" I yelled. "I don't get paid enough to do this job." The Bar tender said throwing me out the door. Nappa called Bulma to come pick me up. By the time I got into the car I was sobering up. Trunks and Goten were sitting in the back of the car. "Vegeta, you had me worried sick about you. You just took off without even telling anyone. You could have been out fighting Buu and gotten yourself killed. Then I'd have to find the dragon balls to wish you back." Bulma nagged. "It's not my fault." I said. "Then whose is it?" Bulma asked. "Pinkie Pie's." I said. "Who?" Trunks asked. "That pony from that movie last night." I said. "Isn't that show for like five year old girls?" Trunks asked. "Yes, son. And now it's taking over my life." I rambled incoherently. "Jeez, what's got into him?" Goten whispered to Trunks. "Dad, you are so weird." Trunks said. Then I got home, Pinkie Pie was waiting at the door with her hooves behind her back. "Way to go, Pinkie. Now my son thinks I'm a freak." I growled. " Sorry about that. I was just super excited because I bought you a present." She said. She gave me a box of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic merchandise. " Where did you get that from?" I asked. " I ordered it online with your credit card when you were asleep." Pinkie Pie giggled. I take the plushies out of the box endearingly. Now I knew I had a problem. There's got to be a way to eliminate my obsession. I thought to myself. Then I tried to turn Super Sayan to toughen myself up. " What are you doing, Vegeta? Can I try?" She said making a constipated face and yelling. "Ooh! Now your mane is all pretty and blonde." Pinkie added in her peppy voice. "Don't call me pretty!" I growl. Then I realized there was no fighting it. I would have to hide my feelings for My Little Pony. Where could I hide all this stuff? I pondered. Then I came up with a plan. I would put the Brony merchandise in my broken space shuttle. After I hid them all I would have to do was train with the others and I would remember how much I liked fighting more than friendship. On my way to the Space Shuttle I spotted Kakarot and his friends training. I acted natural as I took the merchandise to the shuttle in a cardboard box. " What are you doing?" Kakarot asked. " I'm taking this box of tools to my space shuttle to see if I could fix it." I lied still stumbling from being hung over. " Do you need some help?" He asked. " NO!" I yelled. " I owe you. Trunks and Goten had so much fun at the sleep over last night." He said patting my back so hard that I fell over. The box spilled onto the grass. I frantically started putting the merchandise into the box. There was a long silence. Kakarot brought me back to my feet. " Welcome to the herd!" He said. " What?" I asked. " Hey, everybody. We got ourselves another Brony friend." Kakarot said. Piccolo gasped. " Yay!" Piccolo said referencing Fluttershy. Everybody gathered around the box of merchandise. Gohan Brohoofed me, followed by Krillen. "Looks like things have gotten 20% cooler now that you're here." Gohan said. "I didn't think this day would come. Maybe Oolong the pig will learn to fly." Krillen said. " I'm adopted." Trunks said blushing with humiliation. For some odd reason, I didn't really care what my son thought of me. Maybe it wasn't so bad being a brony after all.