//------------------------------// // III - One Dysfunctional Family // Story: Battle Brothers // by Miki //------------------------------// Battle Brothers Forever - Chapter 3 One Dysfunctional Family “It has been five hours. Five Emperor forsaken hours since we woke up in this place...” thought Maxuvos. THUMP THUMP THUMP “HEY, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME YOU FUCKING. XENOS. COCKBAG!” screamed an enraged yellow pegasus. “Indeed, Brother Varivos had reacted rather... hastily when he discovered his new predicament, but he is an Ultramarine; they are notorious for following the Codex Astartes to the letter.” THUMP THUMP THUMP “YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT HORSE BOY! I’M TALKING TO YOU!”         The guard stationed at the door of the Canterlot dungeon simply rolled his eyes and looked back to his magazine. “And what the Codex says to do in situations like these is to make every attempt to escape, which he did... however, perhaps a bit more forethought could have gone into his plan.” The crusader of reason turned to his comrade -- unconscious, his body involuntary convulsing as visible bolts of arcane yellow energy arced about his body -- and shook his head, “Just what kind of sorcery was that?” THUMP THUMP THUMP         “Brother Azerus... do you know the definition of insanity?” asked Coludeus. The former human cocked his dark green head to witness the sight of his pegasus comrade fruitlessly struggling against the ethereal ropes that bound him.         “FUCK YOU BRO! FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHAT!” THUMP THUMP “Clearly he does not, Brother Coludeus,” replied a supremely stressed Space Wolf, who also continued to struggle against the glowing golden-yellow ropes tied around his and his comrade’s legs. THUMP “Brother Azerus please... I already have a headache,” moaned Cutes, laying on his side in a corner of the cell the Astartes shared. “As do I. Just shut up!” snapped Grimorus. His brow suddenly raised in confusion and he turned to his purplish-pink brother-in-arms, “And were you really crying over a scarf?" Cutes reared his head and screamed at his comrade, “IT WASN’T JUST A SCARF! IT WAS MY SCARF GRIMORUS!” “Indeed... I can see that the Angry Marine’s hatred of your chapter is justified then, and consider your chapter to have an enemy in the Space Wolves as well.” “Well, what is yours from, wolf-boy?” “His constant yelling,” Grimorus deadpanned as he rested his head against the cold stone floor, his longer mane falling to anarchy all over the stone floor. “Brothers, please, this is no time to be sniping at each other if we are to formulate an escape plan,” sighed Coludeus. The earth stallion had long since given up trying to break his bonds and was simply content to lay on his side on the opposite side of the cell. THUMP THUMP “Guard... you are a psyker, yes? Do you possess any abilities that could silence him?” asked Maxuvos. “If I did, I would have used it hours ago. And I can hear your contemplating you know,” he replied without even pausing to look up from his magazine. “The hell is a psyker?” he thought to himself. “A fair point...” “WELL WE WOULD KICK YOUR HORSEY HORSE-ASS BACK TO YOUR SIRE’S DICK-SACK ANYWAY!” THUMP THUMP The guard flipped the page of his magazine and continued reading, leaving Azerus a squirming, frothing, flapping, almost pitiable ball of rage. Yellow feathers flew every which way as he flapped his relatively massive wings in a futile attempt to right himself. “Well, you are a psyker now as we... OOF!” Coludeus was cut short by a thrashing yellow equine ramming into his body, which he promptly bumped back. “As I was saying, you are a psyker now as well, Brother. Is there something you could do?” asked Coludeus. “I was not a psyker before all of this happened, so I would not even know where to begin to learn to use these abilities. The most I can gather is that the horn on my head, and the guard’s as well,” he motioned to the guard, who was turning the page of his magazine with his telekinesis, “acts as some sort of focus. At any rate, I have a feeling this thing wrapped around it -- and yours as well, Cutes -- would inhibit any connection to the warp. On top of that, the gene-seed of my chapter resists The Warp, so I doubt that I could do anything  of use.” “Lodestone caps tend to do that to unicorns,” the guard said offhandedly. “GODDAMN SON OF A...” Azerus’ tirade was cut short by the glow of a bright yellow aura around his muzzle. “Please, Azerus, there is no need to be so angry all the time,” said a matronly voice from the stairwell. The guard hastily stowed his magazine and rapidly stood at attention, eliciting a slight chuckle from his leader. “You may take your leave now, thank you,” said Celestia. The guard bowed and exited up the stairs, disappearing into the castle. “I am afraid he can not help his bouts of rage, Your Highness. It is quite literally in his genes,” said Maxuvos. “I see... Rest well?” she asked. “We probably would have rested better if we were not restrained as we were, Your Highness,” snarled Grimorus. “Brother, remember that it is precisely that attitude that got us restrained in the first place,” noted Cutes. “Like anyone can get any sleep with Azerus’ yelling anyway,” moaned the now-conscious Varivos. “He does make a fair point though, was it truly necessary to restrain us in such a manner?” asked Coludeus. “You colts were acting rather unruly. I felt it necessary to give you time to cool off,” said Celestia. In a bright yellow flash, the enchanted ropes restraining the six stallions vanished, as did the lodestone caps that adorned the horns of Maxuvos and Cutes. Azerus rolled to his hooves, and glared daggers at Celestia, his ranting rendered unintelligible by the magical grip she had on his muzzle. Without any hesitation or forethought, the mad pegasus charged. CLANG Only to be cut short by the thick steel bars of the cell. To his credit, he did leave a fairly decent dent in the enchanted metal. Celestia repaired them with a gentle touch of her telekinesis and addressed the group. “Now, perhaps we can talk like rational ponies.” “I would appreciate a chance to speak properly. First of all, I would like to apologize for my subordinate’s behaviour. You see, our situation is rather... unique, I will say.” They say that a Space Marine knows no fear. However, fear and stupidity are very different things, and stupid is probably the last thing any of the Astartes were. Brash and to-the-point, maybe, but far from stupid. Thus, they knew how to choose their battles. Celestia’s voice dripped with a sweetness that betrayed her borderline hostile words, and her tone bore a finality befitting a judge handing down capital punishment.         “I see. Well, first and foremost, let me say that I am willing to let your friend’s assault on one of my subjects slide. I have spoken with Doctor Summer, and she agrees with me that your friend’s outburst was most likely just shock, and she is willing to forgive and forget as well. However, we know of your physiology, and we know how long each of you have lived. I do not know where you came from, but it is clear to us that you are not from Equestria and you are not normal ponies. While your origins are a curiosity to both my sister and I, it is a subject we will have to pursue another time.”         Her tone darkened as she continued, “That being said, know this; while I may be trusting and willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, I am by no means naïeve or weak, and even my patience has its limits. Luna and I will be keeping a very close eye on you six. Is that understood?”         As said before, stupid is probably the last word anyone would use to describe the Marines currently held captive. Each acknowledged her words with a slight nod, though not a hint of fear was displayed on their faces. This was the being that had bested them with little more than a thought. Though they were duty bound to escape her, they also knew the foolishness of attacking such a creature. That would have to wait for another time.         Maxuvos knew he would provide no threat to this creature or her subjects, however he allowed for a brief moment of silence to allow her words to sink into the minds of his subordinates. Looking them over, he noted that all held frustrated expressions. “Perhaps some confirmation is in order...” he thought. “Please excuse me for a moment. I wish to have a word with my subordinates. Could you please release Azerus’ muzzle?” “Only if he promises to stop yelling,” sighed Celestia. Maxuvos shot a glare at Azerus. With a nod of his head he reluctantly conceded to his superior. Satisfied that the belligerent marine would cease his tirade, Celestia released her magical grip on his mouth and Maxuvos turned to face his battle brothers. “Listen, Brothers, I am just as frustrated with our situation as you are, but we may need her help if we are to be changed back into our original forms and escape this place. Some cooperation may be what is best for now, even if it means cooperation with xenos,” whispered Maxuvos. “This is coming from the soldier who’s chapter befriended a Tyranid Hive Fleet...” Cutes deadpanned. “His chapter did what!?” “Calm yourself Azerus,” warned Coludeus. “What you say makes sense, Maxuvos, but I fear that you are being rather naïeve. Who is to say that she will not betray us?” "A fair point. However, she still seems to be our best chance of getting back to our civilization. All that is needed is some cooperation between our races. We must all agree not to harm any of the native creatures on this planet unless we are forced to. That aside,” he turned to look at Celestia, who was busying herself watching condensation drip from the ceiling with her back turned to the group, “I would not want to be the one to draw her ire as you did Varivos. The last thing we need is another enemy.” “What you say borders heresy, Maxuvos,” growled Varivos. “Do you see any other options Brother?” “Unfortunately no...” “Then it is settled.” Maxuvos broke the huddle and turned back to the elder diarch, “Your Highness,” he called. Celestia turned back to the Astartes and spoke, “I trust everything is in order, Brother-Sergeant?” “Please, you may address me as Maxuvos, Your Highness. There is no need for formalities with me.” “Only if you regard me as Celestia, Maxuvos,” she replied. “Very well. I can assure you that, for the time being, you have our cooperation. However I must warn that our kind to not take to treachery very well,” he said. “And the last pony who committed an act of treason earned herself one-thousand years exile, Maxuvos, and she was my own family. I trust you will learn from her mistake,” replied Celestia, with only a hit of pain in her voice. “I can assure you that none of us plan on betraying your trust. Now then, I feel proper introductions are in order.” “Introductions can wait until after breakfast. I am sure my student and her friends have questions for you as well.” ~~~~~ The trip to the dining hall of the castle was fairly uneventful. The group had received some stares from the maids and servants they passed, and glares from the Royal Guard. Rumor of Varivos’ outburst early that morning had spread through the ranks, and by the looks of death that crossed the countenances of the Guardsponies, each of them wanted to get a piece of the marine. However each stare was met with a menacing glare from either Varivos or Grimorus; glares that could chill even the most hardened Guardspony, or even a pony of the elite Honour Guard to their very core. The pair seemed to be taking great pleasure in the fear they were able to inflict. However, their glares proved to be ineffective against at least three of the mares that sat across from them in the castle’s dining hall. Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Maxuvos, and Celestia all watched as their respective comrades and sisters attempted to utterly annihilate each other with their eyes. Even the Astartes, despite having no idea how to manipulate the utensils in front of them with their hooves and resorting to sticking their faces into their plates to eat, never broke eye contact with their opponents. Ever the lady, and utterly appalled by the dining habits of Celestia's guests, Rarity was the first to break the silence that plagued the ornate dining hall. "So... You are not from Equestria?" she asked with every ounce of decorum she could muster. "No," replied Varivos, never breaking eye contact with Applejack. "I see... Then, pray tell, where are you from?" "Not from here," replied Grimorus, who was attempting to intimidate Rainbow Dash. From the end of the table, a frustrated groan was heard. "Alright, we get it! For whatever reason, you don’t like us. That's fine. But honestly, whatever is bothering you, we want to help. So can we please can the hostility? It is doing nopony any good." All heads turned to Twilight, who had both of her forehooves on the table and was breathing heavily, her head and shoulders bobbing with every heave. She shot looks at Applejack and Rainbow Dash that drove her point home, and they both resumed eating, paying no more mind to the stallions across the table from them. Said stallions proceeded to do the same. Twilight brought a forehoof up to her chest and extended it outward as she took a deep, relaxing breath and sat back down. "Thank you," she said, and she resumed eating as well. "Your student, I presume Celestia?" asked Maxuvos. It was now Twilight's turn to fire shots of spite at the Marine who regarded her teacher in such an informal manner. Celestia intervened with a wave of her hoof. "Please, Twilight. Such informality is a necessity if we are to trust each other." "I would hope it at least eases some of the tensions. Especially after the display Varivos provided." "Indeed," replied Celestia as she looked down the table to see her sister still locked in combat with the marine in question, as well as Cutes. Coludeus was content to continue eating in silence, though he received his fair share of nonverbal ire from the lunar diarch. "Brothers!" "Luna!" All of the equines ceased their duel at the sound of their names and immediately resumed their meals with a growl of contempt. Another deafening silence filled the room as everyone continued eating. “So...” started Twilight, “how about we all introduce ourselves? We only know the names of you two," she gestured toward Azerus and Maxuvos, "What about the rest of you?” After Twilight and her friends made their rounds and introduced themselves, each of the unnamed stallions sounded off, conferring nothing more than their names. Twilight’s hoof almost met her face in frustration, however she opted to take another breath instead. “Brothers, what did we discuss about cooperation before coming here?” asked Maxuvos. “We are cooperating, Maxuvos,” replied Varivos. “Then cooperate more, because I have had enough of this nonsense. Regardless of where we are, I am still your superior officer, and you will listen to what I say.” “Superior officer? So you are military,” stated Rarity. “What we are, xenos, is none of your concern. And honestly, Maxuvos, you are going to pull rank now?” spat Varivos. “And that’s another thing, what in the hay is a ‘xenos’?” asked Rainbow Dash. “An alien being, such as yourself,” growled Grimorus. Applejack snorted, put her forehooves up on the table, and stood up. She made every attempt to stare down the Space Wolf, however he managed to trump her stare with his sheer height. The scars across his face and chest only added to the intimidation factor the soldier had, but Applejack refused to back down. “Well from where I sit, y’all look alot different from the rest of us. Maybe you’re the alien here.”         “Applejack, please,” pleaded Twilight.         “Even if that were the case, we are still your superiors in every way, so I would think twice before you do something you will regret,” threatened Varivos.         “Brother Varivos!” barked Maxuvos.         “Oh yeah?! Oh Yeah?! YOU WANNA GO PAL?” yelled Rainbow Dash.         All sensibility was lost as Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Varivos, and Grimorus continued to antagonize each other. Threats were thrown, insults were slung, and all the while nobody paid any mind to the yellow and red pegasus at the end of the table. Azerus was calmly finishing up his plate. After taking his last few bites, he looked to Celestia and Maxuvos.         “Celestia... Maxuvos... I would like to apologize in advance,” he said.         Celestia nodded, knowing at least partially what was about to happen. Maxuvos, on the other hand, was massaging his temples with his forehooves and waved Azerus off, knowing exactly what was about to happen. Azerus rubbed his face on his napkin and, once clean, jumped onto the table. “ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY YOU FUCKING INGRATES!” Silence fell about the room for a brief moment before Azerus continued his rant. Celestia and Luna averted their eyes from the spectacle. Maxuvos continued rubbing his temples and rested his chin on the table. “Woah...” deadpanned Spike. “Jesus-FUCKING-Christ! I thought my comrades on the Maximum Fuck were unreasonable, but you Varivos, and you Grimorus... I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF YOU! They may be xenos to us, but Maxuvos even said as much before we even stepped foot in this room, they are our best chance to get home you FUCKING JACKASSES! Antagonizing them does nothing to further our goals! I knew Ultramarines were arrogant, but HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT! I JUST WANT TO POUND YOUR FUCKING SKULL INTO MUSH RIGHT NOW VARIVOS!” Azerus punctuated his remark by crushing his plate into dust under his hoof, bits of crepe and blueberry sauce splattering all over his hoof. He then reared an accusatory (and clean) hoof toward his other comrade. “And you, Brother Grimorus! Enough with the passive-aggressive bullshit already! If you want to beat the fuck out of something that badly, JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY!” He then directed his hoof towards Rainbow Dash, who was sitting at her place wearing the same gobsmacked expression as everyone else at the table. ”You, with the rainbow hair, you want to fight him so badly? Go ahead! Throw your life away. But think for one fucking second; where in the fuck do you think he got that scar over his eye?! How about me, where the fuck do you think I got my scars!? These,” he pointed to a series of scars criss-crossing his face, “came from a mother-fucking HIVE TYRANT!  Little known fact, THAT FUCKER TRIED TO EAT ME! You know what I did to that piece of shit?! I RIPPED HIS FUCKING BONESWORD OFF OF HIS BODY AND SHOVED IT DOWN HIS FUCKING THROAT IS WHAT I DID! Don’t be a fool.” “Twilight is right, the hostility gets us nowhere. So do us a favor and shut. the. fuck. up! All of you! I fucking hate many things, but if you really want to piss me off, just keep acting like jackasses.” Silence, once again, fell upon the dining hall, and several of the Royal Guard had poked their heads inside to see what the commotion was about. Suddenly, a faint chuckle echoed through the hall. It was a soft chuckle at first, but eventually crescendoed into raucous laughter. The laughter held not a trace of humour, for it was the laugh of a being pushed past his mental limits. It was something sinister; something primal. There was not a single hair on the back of a single neck that was not on end in the dining hall. Azerus turned back to Grimorus and saw on his countenance the most sinister grin he had ever seen in his life. Celestia and Luna both looked to Grimorus as well, and all were shocked at the sight of the soldier. His already disheveled mane had grown longer, and even more unruly; his coat had done the same. Though his laugh had subsided back to a sinister chuckle, Azerus took up the best defensive stance he could think of in the unfamiliar body he now inhabited. His massive wings flared; he crouched his front end low to the table, attempting to present a smaller target to what was once, and he silently hoped still was, his comrade. “So,” started Grimorus, “passive-aggressive? You think I am all words and no action?” Grimorus' head twitched. His ears splayed flat against his head, and he growled a deep guttural growl that made even the indomitable will of Rainbow Dash crumble to dust. “You know damn well that is not the case Azerus, and I have had enough of all of this. Defend yourself.” With an unconscious flap of his equally massive wings, the Space Wolf lunged at Azerus. The force of a freight train collided with his hunched form, and both were sent sailing through the air over the heads of Rainbow Dash and Applejack. The mares ducked just in time to avoid being caught by the tackle themselves, and both made a mad dash to the end of the table where their friend and diarchs sat, with Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy all following suit. Azerus and Grimorus collided with one of the many marble columns that stood in the hall, and the column cracked in protest. Both of the pegasi fell to the floor in a heap. “Well that escalated quickly,” noted Applejack. “It probably would have not escalated at all had you not antagonized them, Applejack,” chided Rarity. “Please, girls, now is not the time,” said Twilight. “Twilight is right, now is not the time to be placing blame,” said Maxuvos. The mares whipped around to see Maxuvos approaching them and their leaders. “You! You’re their commanding officer! Stop them!” ordered Rainbow Dash. Maxuvos dismissed her order with a wave of his hoof, “You are in no position to be giving orders, Rainbow Dash. What has been started can not be stopped. It is for the best that they get this out of their systems. The rest of us will intervene if things escalate out of control.” He looked over to see his comrades squaring off next to the table, having recovered from Grimorus’ tackle, then shot glares directly to the Guardsponies who had poked their heads in earlier, warning them to stay back. Though they needed no further convincing, Maxuvos felt it necessary to offer further warning. “I would not want to be the one caught in between those two.” ~~~~~ “I would have thought Varivos would be the one to attack me,” chuckled Azerus as he circled the pegasus in front of him. “It appears you were mistaken, Azerus,” growled Grimorus as he mirrored his brother-in-arms. Azerus soon found his back to the wall. Grimorus reared on his hind legs and with a mighty stomp that left spiderweb cracks in the stone floor, he belted out a bone chilling howl that shook even Celestia and Luna to their core. Grimorus charged once again. He barreled towards Azerus with all of the speed his unfamiliar gait could lend him, heedless of the wall sitting just behind his target. With a mighty flap of his wings, Azerus leapt over the charging stallion and watched as the gray and yellow missile careened into the wall. The impact left a great crack in the wall that snaked its way to the high ceiling of the dining hall. Azerus wasted no time. He pressed the advantage and slammed into Grimorus before he had a chance to recover. With a fury only few ponies in the room had the pleasure to bear witness to before, Azerus began to trample the downed marine. Azerus roared in rage, reared back, and began to stomp on the marine’s neck. Once. Grimorus kicked and thrashed as hard as he could in an attempt to kick Azerus off. Twice. Grimorus coughed and cursed. He sunk his razor sharp teeth into his opponent’s leg, with Azerus roaring in fury. Thrice. And as Azerus reared back for a fourth stomp, Grimorus released his opponent’s leg and rolled out of the way. Azerus’ hoof impacted the floor with such force that the very earth shook. Arcs of red, otherworldly lightning crackled from beneath Azerus’ hoof, and a bright red shock-wave radiated from the point of impact. Everybody in the room was sent flying through the air by the sheer might of the blast, and each flight was cut mercilessly short by the presence of walls, columns, and floor. The ornate table where the ponies enjoyed their meal was sent across the room, snapping in half against one of the marble columns that lined the hall. Azerus landed on the opposite end of the room with a dull thud and skidded to a stop. Grimorus lay on the floor in the middle of a large crater. Azerus was the first to recover from the blast, shakily rising to his hooves, coughing and sputtering. "Wha... What the actual fuck was that?! I thought only the horned xenos were psykers! How am I... Ah fuck it all..." Azerus was disappointed to see Grimorus rise to his hooves as well, his mane and coat longer and more disheveled than before. Eyes that spoke of bloodlust resided in his skull, and he turned to Azerus with his teeth bared. He continued to growl a deep guttural growl as he stared Azerus down from across the room, all hints of sanity lost. Maxuvos, Celestia, Luna, and Twilight were the next to recover, each more dazed and confused than the last. Maxuvos stole a glance at Grimorus, and his expression darkened as a grim realization came to him. "Celestia, Princess Luna, get yourselves and your subjects out of here as fast as you can. I fear that things just escalated," he said, his tone calm, collected, yet firm. Celestia rose to her hooves and bore just as grim of an expression as Maxuvos. "With a pegasus who is able to use unicorn magic like that, I would believe so. Brother-Sergeant, consider the origins of you and your comrades to be our top priority once this is all over." Twilight Sparkle gasped as she caught her first glimpse of the slowly transforming Grimorus. "What in the world is happening to him?" she asked as she turned to Celestia. Celestia turned to Maxuvos in response, and Twilight's eyes soon turned to him. "This is exactly what I was afraid would happen. He will soon become uncontrollable unless we subdue him." Luna stamped her hoof forcefully, garnering the attention of the entire group. "You knew of this..." she said through gritted teeth. "All will be explained soon, Princess. For now, get yourself and your subjects out of here." "If you think we're leaving, y'all are crazy," said Applejack as she and the rest of Twilight's friends galloped over.         “Applejack, you honestly have no idea what we are dealing with,” said Twilight.         “Then allow me to inquire Twilight Sparkle. What are we dealing with Brother-Sergeant?” asked Luna.         “I will explain everything later. For now, he is our responsibility,” said Maxuvos as he turned to his battle brothers.         “Brothers, listen. If Azerus fails, then only all five of us can stand a chance to subdue Grimorus.”         “If you need to subdue him, then perhaps I may be of assistance?” asked Luna.         “I am sorry Princess, but I can not allow you to come to harm should Azerus fail,” said Maxuvos.         “You underestimate her greatly, Brother-Sergeant,” chuckled Celestia. Luna smirked, “Indeed you do.” “What you are capable of is irrelevant. He is our responsibility.” Maxuvos turned to Azerus and called out to him. “Azerus!” “Yeah, I fucking noticed it. He picked a hell of a time to lose his shit,” yelled Azerus. “Then you know what to do!” “Of course,” said Azerus. Everyone in the room looked on as Azerus charged his unstable opponent.