Blackstar shifted uncomfortably in his hospital bed as he tried to get some sleep. It had been a little over a month since he had woken up without his memory, and was slowly adjusting to what was supposed to be his life. Eventually he gave up trying to sleep and sat up and thought. Something he was prone to doing a lot. He turned on the light above his bed and looked at the most recent letter he had received from Annabeth.
Dear, [Your Name]
It’s great to hear that you’re going to be let out of the hospital soon. If it’s alright with you and your new family, I might be able to come down to visit you. I’d love to be able to talk to you in person instead of through these letters. Anyway, get well soon. And I hope you and your new family get along.
Sincerely, Annabeth
Blackstar hadn’t sent his reply yet. He was still waiting to ask for Stan’s permission. He let his head slump back into the pillow as he stared at the white lily he had received from Stan and his wife.
‘Should I ask Stan to let Annabeth to come down? It’d be nice to have a friend to talk to for a while. And I might be able to get a little bit of my memory back. Technically I have my entire life in front of me. So why does it all feel so strange to me? That car really messed me up. I almost thought I was from a cartoon for crying out loud! Calm down. Nothing will get fixed if I keep thinking about this so negatively. Stan knows me better than anyone. He can help me through this.’
Eventually sleep gripped Blackstar and he drifted off into unconsciousness. He didn’t dream. He never did at the hospital. When it was time for breakfast the nurse came in like she always did and woke Blackstar up.
“Good morning, [Your name]. I have some good news for you. Your new guardian talked to the doctor and you’re going to be discharged as soon as he comes and gets you.”
“That’s great. So, what’s on the menu today?”
“Eggs, bacon, and oatmeal”
“Again? Come on, how many times are they gonna feed me oatmeal?”
“The fiber is good for you. But, if it makes you feel any better I snuck a couple packets of honey and an extra juice for you.”
“Thanks Tabby, you’re a big help.”
“Consider it a going away present for my favorite patient.”
Blackstar grimaced at what the nurse said. His mind immediately went to the memory that had returned when he had first seen the lily Stan had brought him.
“[Your name], are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had something on my mind, that’s all.”
“Alright, if you need me just hit the call button and I’ll be here as soon as I can.”
Blackstar nodded and watched as the nurse left the room. He tried to distract himself from thinking about Lily with his breakfast. It didn’t work. He sighed and pushed the food away and hit the call button. The nurse came in a few minutes and helped him into the wheelchair that sat in a corner of the room.
“[Your Name], are you okay? You hardly ate anything.”
“I’m fine, it’s just, this whole amnesia thing is throwing me for a loop.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone keeps telling me what my life was like, but none of it feels real. The only thing that feels real to me is this scrap of a memory that I can’t find any evidence of ever happening. Is there something wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone deals with amnesia differently. I know you’re confused right now but your brain is trying its best to make this as easy on you as it can. Don’t worry, eventually everything will make sense.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. I am a trained professional after all. So what’s this memory that feels real to you?”
Blackstar took a deep breath and told the nurse everything about the memory including the moment he wasn’t sure what had happened.
“Sounds like you had a little romantic moment there.” The nurse said, laughing slightly.
“You really think so? But, this memory doesn’t fit in with anything my file says. What does this mean?”
“I’m not sure exactly. There could be some sort of kernel of truth in your false memory. You should ask your new guardian about this. He has a better understanding of Psychological illnesses than I do.”
Blackstar thanked the nurse for her help and asked her to take him into the courtyard. She complied and left him alone to collect his thoughts. Blackstar tried to relax but the whole thing still bothered him. He wanted to know why his mind would give him a fake memory. What purpose could that serve? Ultimately, Blackstar gave up on figuring it out and returned to his room.
The next day, Stan came and released Blackstar from the hospital. He helped Blackstar into the small car and put the crutches that the hospital provided in the trunk. Blackstar held the lily in his lap and spent most of the ride in silence. Stan didn’t look nearly as disheveled as the last time he had seen him, probably because he was excited to bring home a new addition to his family. Stan decided to break the silence of the car ride and struck up a conversation.
“You look like you’re doing a lot better.”
“Yeah, my arm’s healed up, and they took the stitches out of my head. The only things that need to heal, is some of the internal damage in my torso and one of my legs.”
“Good to hear. I’m glad you’re healing up. How’s the amnesia by the way? Can you remember anything yet?”
“No, all I have is this false memory about this girl.”
“Was her name, Annabeth? I remember you telling me about her a few years ago. I was really excited back then. The family you were with seemed like it was going to work, and you were making friends. It was the most progress I’d ever seen from you.”
“No, the girl’s name was Lily, but since you mentioned Annabeth. She and I have been exchanging letters while I was in the hospital. She wanted to know if she could visit.”
“I don’t see any problem with that. She could help you retrieve some of your memory.”
“Thanks, I’ll be sure to tell her that you said it was okay as soon as we get to your house.”
“It’s your house now too. I know it’s hard to think of me as your new parent, but I want you to know that I really do care about you. Karen and I are going to do everything we can to get take care of you. Once the school year starts up again we’ll put you back into high school. And we’ll help you with your amnesia.”
Blackstar smiled weakly and thanked Stan for everything he had done. Stan stopped the car and had the two of them stay at a hotel for the night. They woke up and set off again in the early morning and made it back to Stan’s home by the early afternoon.
Stan’s son, Derek rushed up to the two of them and hugged them tightly. Blackstar said hello and did his best to return the gesture. Derek looked up at Blackstar with confusion in his eyes and asked why he didn’t call him “Kiddo”. Stan and Karen did their best to explain about Blackstar’s amnesia and Derek finally nodded slowly. Stan helped Blackstar into his house and told him to settle in.
Life at Stan’s seemed to fall into a routine. Blackstar would: wake up, get help to start the day, play with Derek or read him a story, and eventually Stan would try to restore Blackstar’s memory. The gestures started out small with casual conversations. Then he pulled up photos Blackstar’s dead parents to see if that sparked anything.
Even as Stan was starting to get desperate, Karen insisted it was important for the family to maintain spiritual connections. So on Sunday Stan took Blackstar and his family to church and Blackstar took a seat toward the back. He listened intently to the preacher and was a little interested in what he was saying. He found it surprisingly easy to get behind the idea of a deity that controlled the world. The preacher went on about God’s love, and how through prayer one could find the answers that they needed.
Blackstar left the church feeling somewhat relieved of some of the stress that he had built up and was surprisingly calm. That changed once he returned to Stan’s home. Blackstar heard Derek cry out suddenly and point at something in the yard. At first Blackstar didn’t see anything, but once he strained his eyes he was finally able to make out what was scaring Derek.
It was a snake. It was a dull black in color and was at least four feet long. It was coiled up near the side of Stan’s house, and barely acknowledged their presence. Blackstar could feel a stabbing pain start to form in his head. He recalled the incident with the lily and felt himself slip into another memory.
It was dark out, a few street lights glowed dully in the distance, but other than that there was no light. Blackstar crept through what looked and felt like a miniature jungle, but he knew it was a garden. He also knew he could make a little light, to help him see, but avoided it so he wouldn’t get caught sneaking around.
Blackstar noticed that there was something different about how he stood. And for some reason it seemed much more comfortable. He thought he heard somepony approaching and ducked into the underbrush. A guard wearing the purple of Luna’s night guard walked past him, never taking notice of him. As soon as the pony was gone Blackstar chuckled a little and was glad for his natural dark coloration.
Blackstar continued through the foliage, deciding to take the direct route to his destination. Blackstar could see the outline of the castle looming in front of him, beckoning him to accomplish his goal. Blackstar picked up the pace, knowing the princesses would appreciate his tenacity and listen to him.
‘How could those ponies reject me to their academy? So what if I’m older than most of the students that start out there? It doesn’t matter. I’m going to become even better than Twilight Sparkle! And she became great by studying with Celestia. If I can just get her to listen to me, I know she’ll want to teach me.’
Blackstar’s train of thought was cut short by a sudden pain in his leg. He looked down and saw a snake had sunk it’s fangs into him. He started to panic and tried to kick the snake off. Blackstar eventually succeeded and watched as the snake slithered away. He took a deep breath to help calm down, but suddenly his limbs felt heavy.
Blackstar tried to think of a solution, but a thick fog clouded his mind. In a matter of moments Blackstar collapsed and he knew that this was the end. He took one last longing look at the castle in the distance and tried to release his primal rage. If any noise did come out it was reduced to a squeak. As his vision started to darken, and darken. He thought back to the girl he had left behind and realized that he had made a huge mistake. And just like that, he was dead.
Blackstar shot upright, his eyes frantically scanning his surroundings. He saw that he was in Stan’s living room. Stan and his family were crowded around Blackstar and stared at him with concern etched into their features.
“Are you okay?” Stan asked. “You just collapsed back there.”
“I’m fine,” Blackstar lied, “I just felt faint was all. How long was I out for?”
“A few hours,” Karen answered. “If you’re hungry I can make you some dinner.”
“I’m not hungry right now, I’m just gonna go to bed, if that’s all right with you guys.”
Stan helped Blackstar to his room and told him to call him if he needed anything. Blackstar’s mind instantly started to be flooded with questions as soon as Stan closed the door.
“What the hell was that? Was that another false memory? If it was, then why did I die in it? ... And those names and creatures. They were from that show about ponies I’ve been watching. What’s wrong with me? Why is my head doing this to me?”
Blackstar took a deep breath and remembered what the preacher had said in his sermon. Blackstar closed his eyes and started to pray.
“God, if you really are out there, and love all of your creatures, then please help me. Nothing makes any sense. Everything people around me tell me seems wrong and my mind keeps giving me information that feels right, but is so hard to believe. I need to know the truth. Please, that’s all I want.”
Blackstar opened his eyes and didn’t feel any different. He sighed in defeat and crawled into bed. At some point during the night he felt his body shift a little. When he opened his eyes all he could see was an expanse of nothingness. He looked around and saw a strange figure sprawled out nearby. Blackstar’s jaw nearly dropped when he saw what it was. It was a pony. It was just like something from the show he had been watching. Only for some reason this one seemed strangely familiar.
You shifted uncomfortably in your sleep. It was one of the rare nights where you didn’t dream about anything. But, something seemed off. A groan escaped from your throat, and you slowly woke up. You blinked a few times and recognized where you were. You stood up and wondered what God wanted from you this time. You looked over, shocked to see you’re old body staring at you.
“Who the hell are you?” Your body asked.
“You don’t know who I am. Do you have amnesia?”
“How do you know about my amnesia?” Your body cried out.
“Oh crap, this is gonna be tough.” You mumbled, scratching your chin. “The best way I can put this is that we’re alternate versions of each other from other universes, and because of God we’ve switched bodies.”
“How did that happen?”
“Well, I got the offer because I had died. What about you?”
“I didn’t get an offer, and. Oh God, I really did die?!”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to explain all this. Hey God, get your lazy incorporeal ass over here! You have a lot of explaining to do.” You called out.
“Wait, you can’t talk to God like that. You don’t want to bring down his wrath.”
“Trust me, he’s earned it.”
“I am here, and I will answer all of your questions.”
“Who am I, or what am I?”
“You were once a pony named Blackstar. However, you and he died at almost the exact same moment, and so I switched your bodies around to give the two of you life again.”
“Why didn’t you just put us back in our original bodies?” The real Blackstar asked.
“Because he’s not allowed to defy nature like that.” You answered. “But what I want to know is why you were able to switch us around. Doesn’t the fact that we’re alternate versions of each other mean that putting us in the other’s body is the same as resurrection?”
“Apparently, there were enough differences that it didn’t matter.”
“What do you mean by, “Apparently”?” You asked. “You knew what you were doing, didn’t you?”
“To be honest, I’ve never had an opportunity to do something like this. This was the first time that an alternate version of a person I’ve given a second life to has died at the same time. So, I let my curiosity get the better of me and I switched you two.”
“So, Blackstar here could’ve gotten my thread of fate because you were curious?!” You hissed.
“What’s a thread of fate?”
God went on to explain threads of fate to Blackstar. You were furious at him for what he had done. Once he was done with that, God went on to tell Blackstar all about his life. Blackstar did his best to keep his composure, but you could tell the news had disheartened him. Once God was done you tried to comfort him.
“Hey, I know learning that you’re dead isn’t easy, but I’m sure you can make the best of it.”
“Maybe, Stan and his family have been nice to me so far.”
“You’re living with Stan, how is he?” You asked hopefully.
“He’s good, and so is the rest of his family.”
“That’s good to hear. Listen, speaking from experience I know they can’t replace the family you’ve lost, but you have to try and move on. It’s the only option you have left. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for doing this to you. If I can do anything to help make it up to you then I will.”
“There is one thing you could do. Could you go and tell my family, and my friend Lily what happened to me. They deserve to know.”
You nodded and felt yourself slowly return to consciousness.
Blackstar sat up in his bed and tried to come to grips with everything that he had just learned. He was dead, and he’d never be able to see his old friends and family again. He couldn’t tell Stan or the others about any of it. They’d think he was crazy. Blackstar continued to sit up, debating over and over what he should do next.