"AAAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnnd now," shouted the sharply dressed colt with a flick of his hooves and a roll of his tongue, "the moment you've all been waiting for -" he paused for dramatic effect, letting the suspense he'd been building up all night linger and fill the air, "Miss Rainbow Dash is going to find out her super special somepony, (based entirely on chance), on Equestria's first ever Lucky Looney Lover's Lotto!"
The crowd burst into an excited cheer, whooping and screaming with joy. Rainbow looked on at them from her position beside the host, Tom (as in the colt Rarity named the rock after) Hofferon, a smug smile gracing her face. Looking like she cared just enough so it would not be rude, but not enough to seem like any of this mattered, Rainbow Dash was, on the outside, the epitome of cool. But on the inside she was a quivering ball of nerves. There was literally no statistical evidence to point that this would in any way help her find a pony with whom she would share a mutual attraction. Or so Twilight had put it.
Gulping silently, Dash forced those fears back. It was a silly game show after all, and would have no real affect on her at all. Besides, the main attraction was about to begin and she couldn't be caught looking uncool. Regardless, she still wondered how well it would turn out. It was after all Pinkie Pie's idea.
But the wheel was turning and those thoughts would have to wait. Out of the wheel spun a ball with a number, that was read off by some skanky mare in a too tight dress that was most obviously sleeping with the host. Then another came. And another. And more, until finally there were seven numbers total. The pony that had the ticket with those seven numbers would win the chance to be her date and special somepony.
The ponies assembled quickly began checking their tickets. Dash, needing something to look at, cast her eyes to the front row, where her friends were. They were all giving her warm looks of encouragement. Except Applejack. She looked like she just won the lottery. Slowly, eyes on her ticket the cowpony stepped forward until she was face to face with Dash. Their eyes met. And then....
They both kissed passionately, exploding the stage with their love as they began to bang and then all the ponies assembled melted as the heat of their orgasmic bliss scorched them all!
***
... and that's how your parent's met!" concluded Pinkie. She was met back with the dumbstruck look of five foals, the oldest only barely old enough to comprehend the facts of life.
Rainbow faced-hoofed, while Applejack, mortified, pulled their foals into her arms with a soothing whisper. She shot Pinkie a venomous glare that could've made even Celestia wither. But Pinkie was already bouncing out of sight, oblivious to the damage she had wrecked.