//------------------------------// // Best chapter ever.... Of all time (New name anyone?) // Story: RvB: Friendship... Sucks. // by Alphadud //------------------------------// Chapter 8; Best chapter ever.... Of all time (New name anyone?) WARNING: This chapter contains brief sexual themes. Nothing super serious, just some small things.(Buh da tish) DO NOT take this chapter too seriously, no matter what anyone says. Also. Rated R. For RANDOM AS FUCK. Everyone was happily sleeping in their beds with smiles and happy dreams. While poor Wash was still being paranoid in his closet of hiding. ‘I can’t believe no one has found me yet!’ He thought. While he was being his crazy self, everyone was starting to wake up and go to the dinning hall to enjoy their breakfast. They all greeted each other the traditional mumble of ‘good morning’ or ‘hello’ as they walked down the halls with hands and hooves rubbing the sleep out of their eyes, and their manes frazzled crazily. Or at least I think they were frazzled, it’s been a while since last I had contact with a girl, don’t blame me! It was her fault, not mine! CALM DOWN!... Onward with the story. They entered the dinning hall where Celestia was at the end of the table eating her breakfast elegantly, while drawing in great detail... With crayons on a piece of parchment. Meaning just randomly scribbling all over the page with no idea or picture to physically be seen. There was at least 120 scrolls of random furious scribblings, on the side of her seat and a even larger pile of crumpled up scrolls sitting in or around the mountain of trash that had encompassed the trash can. Celestia sighed as she took the scroll and crumpled it up before throwing it at the mountain of trash. “Why is this so hard!?” She yelled out in frustration at the box of colors and parchments, before opening it up and grabbing a new parchment with some new crayons. “I BUCKING LOVE COLORING!” She yelled out as she started furiously scribbling on the parchment. She was in fact scribbling so furiously, colored smoke was seen rising from the crayon. Everyone, including the guards and staff, just stared at her for a moment till Celestia looked up from her parchment and saw everyone staring at her. “What? Can’t a ruler have a little fun with out everyone staring?” She asked as the guards and staff went back to work with a shrug. “Welp she is at it again.” The guard next to the group mumbled. “You don’t say Jim....” The guard next to him mumbled. “Ten bits she has one of us go look for more crayons?” He asked his partner. “Deal.” “Guards! I need more crayons!... And markers!” Celestia yelled in dismay as she looked at her stub of a crayon. “Oh and some more ink and parchments!” “Ahh crap.” “Ten bits rookie. Better learn the ropes fast or you will be losing a lot of bits.” Jim said to his friend smirking. His friend, who was named Bill just sighed and handed him ten bits before walking away to find more crayons. Some markers, ink and parchments. “Sucker. Never take a bet on something like this.” He said chortling. “Get me some chicken!” Celestia bellowed out. “Wait a minute....” In a flash of a second a butler was standing next to Celestia holding up a silver plate with a cover, when he lifted it, there was Scootaloo. “Ha! I get it... Wait where did he get that filly?” Jim said to himself. By now everyone was just looking at each other before hesitantly going over to the table to begin breakfast, making sure to leave at least a three to four seat distance between them and Celestia. As everyone sat down, a certain grey spartan with yellow stripes walked through the doors into sight before he raised a hoof and turned on his megaphone in his helmet before saying. “I WON BITCHES!” Then promptly falling face first on the tile and passing out. Celestia was beginning to freak out over not having any parchment, so she looked around for something to quickly get her fix of scribbling on and saw a grey lump on the floor. Smiling widely, she picked up the poor grey pony and began to randomly scribbled the stubs of color all over the armor the pony was layered in, not missing his visor or any other piece of armor. Bill just walked into the room with some parchments, ink, markers, and crayons. Jim just stopped him before whispering. “Bet you another ten bits she kisses you for bringing her that stuff.” He said. “Deeeal?” Bill said hesitantly and questioningly. Looking confused as fuck, he then walked out into the room and towards Celestia, when he got up to her he cleared his throat and said. “Your majesty, here is the supplies you requested.” Bill said holding the bag of supplies in front of him. “Oh thank you so much, my little pony!!” Celestia yelled out throwing wash into the mountain of crumpled parchments and grabbing the guard before kissing him for a good thirty seconds before going back to her coloring with her fresh and brand new supplies. “TEN BITS!” Jim yelled from his post. Bill just turned around and walked out like he did not give a single fuck, except his raging boner said otherwise. “Oh god dude! Put that thing away!” Jim said looking away in disgust. “And not a single buck was given this day.” Bill said as walked towards the nearest bathroom. Jim just shook his head in disgust before yelling. “STILL OWE ME TEN BITS!” He then looked from Bill to the area of the dining hall he was still posted at. As he looked he saw that everyone was staring at him. He simply looked to everypony before smiling and saying. “I smell a promotion in the air.” “Okay... A eyeful of pony junk and drawing obsessed sun goddess. How is are your mornings going?” A certain pink spartan said looking to everyone. Also, that butler who had Scootaloo on a plate, was still just standing there, with a confused looking Scootaloo on a plate. “May I go home now?” Scootaloo asked. “No you may not, not until Celestia says otherwise.” The butler said. Then Bill came back, now with a smile and no more things un-need to be seen. “That was fast.” Jim said as Bill took his post next to him. “Still owe me ten bits.” “Awww shit.” Bill muttered as he pulled out his wallet and took out ten bits. “Damn you and your stupid bets.” “Bet you five bits you will accept another bet.” Jim said smiling. “Deal! --- Wait what?” “Five bits.” Jim said smiling even wider. “Ah... Son of a...:” Bill muttered as he took out five more bits. “Damn, now I don’t have money for lunch.” “Your damn fault that you gamble.” Jim said tucking the bits away. Meanwhile a large deep sea blue pony and a smaller flame red Pegasus were walking towards the dinning hall, and for some reason both of their manes were much more frazzled and disorderly than the others. “Stupid white walls. Stupid sun. Stupid pillars.” Roger was muttering as they walked through the dinning hall doors. “Bet you a day of night shifts that, that pony is having a bad morning.” Jim said to Bill as they walked past. “Dea-! WAAAAAAIT A MINUTE! I’m not falling for that again.” “Two days of night shifts?” Jim said looking to him. “No.” Bill said shaking his head. “Three days?” JIm asked. “Nooope!” Bill said shaking his head again. “A full week?” Jim said smiling. “DEAL!... Wait, oh buck my life.” “Too late!” Jim said smiling as Roger walked by them. “Stupid guards making stupid bets about my stupid bad morning and my stupid pounding headache.” Roger complained as she walked by them with Rino. “Told you, you should have taken a painkiller.” Rino said. “If you weren’t body rest, I would punch you.” Roger said rubbing her head. “Welp have fun on night duty for the rest of the week.” Jim said smiling at Bill. “Oh goddess damn you and your stupid bets.” Bill said facehoofing. “Bet you nothing that you won’t take this bet.” Jim said smiling to him. Bill just looked at him before trying to register what he said, before slowly nodding looking at Jim suspiciously. “Alright you win!” Jim said smiling. “I do?” Bill asked looking confused. “Yup! Here is your prize!” Jim held out his empty hoof. “A crap load of complete and pure one hundred guaranteed genuine!... Nothing!” Bill just facehoofed and looked around, he found a bucket that was empty and picked it up. “See this bucket?” Bill asked. “Yup. And how it’s as empty as your wallet?” Jim said still smiling. “It’s filled with the bucks I give, but why look! IT’S EMPTY.” “Great! You can sell it so you have something to bet with!” Jim said smiling and looking straight ahead. “What is wrong with you two?” Roger asked as she turned to look at the two guards. As if they had trained for this, as she looked at them, they were stoic and as still as stone. “Da fuq?” Rino just looked at them before doing funny faces and grimaces at them. They just remained still and didn’t even notice them. Sighing Rino and Roger began to walk away, unfortunately for the guards, Roger might have swayed her hips just a bit more than she should have. Bill was having a hard time controlling both himself and his other part... Mainly his second near raging boner. Jim was also having a bit of trouble controlling where his eyes were pointing. “Dat flank.” Bill muttered what they both were thinking. Roger’s ears twitch for a moment till she slowly turned her slightly unnerving glare towards both of the guards, to which Jim simply pointed to Bill before turning to him and saying. “Bet you a free drink you’re about to get your flank kicked from here to the moon.” Jim said. “I’d say, we both are about to be that.” Bill said, slowly backing away. Roger simply leaned off of Rino before turning and slowly beginning to walk towards both Bill and Jim. “Bill.... If we survive this. I am buying us both lunch.” Jim said slowly walking backwards away from Roger. “Yeah... Let’s say thaaaat.” Bill whimpered they both were getting backed into a corner by Roger whom was glaring and grinding her teeth angrily. “Shitshitshitshitshitshit!!” Jim panicked out as Roger neared them until they were both pressed against each other in the corner. “Welp, we are bucked.” Bill said quietly. “I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!” Roger yelled as she lunged at them only to get stopped by Rino grabbing her tail mid leap with his teeth. As she was stopped in her leap, she hit the ground and began to crawl rabidly at the two terrified guards huddled in the corner. “Let me kill them! I want to eat their wings off and force grenades down their throats!” Jim looked at his wings before going even paler than his snow white coat could. “B-but I like my wings.” He muttered in fear. “And I will break the horn off the other one and shove it up his a-!!” Roger began to rant before being interrupted by Rino. Bill was just staring wide eyed at the mare in front of him with a gaping mouth and a looked of utter fear on his face. Pretty much a ‘Oh my god I am gonna get fucked up before getting killed.’ face “Ssssh.” Rino shushed as he put a hoof on her mouth, making her rant become more or less aggressive mumbling. Yes, her very aggressive mumbling. “MPmmph mpmmpmpmmph!!” Roger was trying to shout out still giving the guards the most terrifying glare of their life. But she did get out thing out. “And I will crush their genitals with my robot arm- mpmmmpmmpmpmmpp!!!” Rino just cringed at her choice of words before continuing to drag her towards the table, he then mumbled something that no one could hear because he was too busy dragging Roger. Roger simply continued to claw madly at the two guards, still aggressively mumbling. After a short while, Rino reached a seat and basically threw Roger onto it... Which led to her wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. While that was going on, Bill and Jim simply unstuck themselves from their spot in the corner and slowly made their way to the door before bolting out like bats out of hell. “Well...” Rino said looking at Roger, who still was looking a bit seductive. “Would you just eat some breakfast? Or else you are going to get very grumpy.” Roger just frowned and pouted a bit. “I am already grumpy.” She said. “Well then....” Rino said sighing, before looking to the table that was filled with crap to eat. “Why not eat something? … That’s not my face?” “Because at least your face lasts.” Roger said smirking before doing a full on pout, complete with puppy dog eyes. “And I can’t eat bacon anymore....” Rino tried to say anything but, since her puppy dog face... Pretty much left him stunned. “BACON WAS SOOO DELICOUS!” Roger yelled out before smashing her face into the table and leaving a imprint. “Well that’s certainly different.” Twilight said from her seat. “Yeah no kidding.” Pinkie said tilting her head a bit. Roger looked at the imprint before just laying her face down and mumbling. “This is actually pretty comfy.” “What the....” Celestia looked at Roger before shrugging and continuing to furiously scribble down random things on a parchment, last parchment had a flower that looked like it was drawn by a five year old... And somehow this one had more or less a work of art on it, she just crumpled it and threw it at the pile. Roger looked up before seeing Celestia. “Hey Rino look! Colors!” She said pointing. Rino’s head just snapped towards where she was pointing. “OH MY GOD! YOU ARE COLORING! LET ME JOIN!” “Wut?” Roger said tilting her head at a perfect 90 degree angle. Rino just looked at her with a goofy smile before grabbing her body and twisted her body in the same angle, so now she was lying down. “Uuuuum... Wait a minute. Church are you still in my head?” ‘Go away, I’m tierd. Leave me alone, not to mention the mental scars I have.’ ‘VENGANCE IS MINE!!!’ Roger bellowed inside her head. ‘Do you have to scream at this hour?’ Church asked quietly. ‘Yes... Now sleep.’ Roger said gently before looking for Rino again. “I have to find away to NOT space out when I talk to you Church.” “Ugh why won’t you leave me to sleeep?” Church complained as he exited her head. “I’m going back to the room.” “You still can’t sleep! You are a robot-slash-ghost!” She yelled. “Does it look like I care?” Church asked walking away. Then they both heard two familair voices. “Hey look! I found a leg of metal with holes in it!” Bill yelled from the otherside of the door. “And it’s blue!” Church just slowly turned around and looked at Roger. “You wouldn’t have happened to dismantle my body and hidden the parts all over the castle would you?” “No no no no no.... Pshyeah!” Roger said before bursting into laughter and falling out of her chair. Church just shook his head and walked back to her and sat down in the chair next to her.... Somehow. “Hey what is this? Looks like a armored worm.... And why is it blue?” Jim said from the other side of the door. “Hey! He found a finger!” Roger said sitting back into her chair. You could literally see the steam rising of Church as his anger grew, out of no where he picked up a sniper and shot a imaginary bullet at Jim, which caused it to pass through his skull, except it did no damage seeing how it was a ghost bullet. “Hey I acutally hi-... FUCK.” Church muttered. “Did somepony throw a feather at me? I find that offensive!” Jim said sounding posh. “Eh... Who cares... I wonder if I can pawn this armored worm thing?” Church just shook his head and looked at Roger, who was eating the face of Rino.... Who was somehow also coloring... “Now that is what I call multitasking.” Jim said as he looked in through the door. Of course, all of the girl’s except Celestia, was staring at Roger and Rino... Also Church did not stare, he just glanced quickly before shaking it off and going back to sitting on his chair... slash throne majestically. “Hey Bill! I dare you to go and break up that make-out session over there.” Jim whispered to Bill making sure that he didn’t see Roger in the mix. He nudged him trying to encourage him. “Come on! Do it!” “Sounds like a great fucking idea.” A unknown voice said from behind them. Both Jim and Bill gave a small girlish scream before spinning to see Tucker behind them. “Sup?” “Uh... Nothing, you strange, tall, aqua thing.” Jim said raising a eyebrow. “And shut up!” “I thought you were guards... Not... Gamblers.” Tucker said lookig at them. “I’m not a gambler. Bill is though.” Jim said smugly smiling and chuckling a bit. Tucker just chuckled with him before looking at him. “You kind of remind me of me.” Ego boost. Jim simply smiled before looking to Bill who was glaring at him. “What? I just provide the bets. You don’t have to take them.” “Oh like the time you won twenty bits for touching someone’s flank?” Bill said looking at Jim. “Hey! It costed half of that to fix my armor you cheeky dickwaffle!” Jim said scowling at him. “Serves you right, I love how you got scolded by one of the girls in our regiment afterwards.” “Pfft. At least they can talk to me with out me turning into a volcano!” Jim said back smiling. “Erm, I was drunk thank you.” Bill said. “Like the first day at camp?” Jim said. “Like you furiously fapped and got caught by the commander.” “Best part was she was in heat, bitch!” “Oh guess that’s why shes pregnant.” “Wait... What?.... SHIT.... Well I at least got the bits to support the kid.” Jim said smugly looking to Bill. “I’m gonna stop taking the bets now.” Bill said crossing his fore-hooves and sitting down. “Bet you five bits that you will not truly understand my words and somehow end up taking this bet even though you said you weren’t.” Jim said. “Eh..... No?” Bill just looked a Jim in confusion. “You suuuuure? It’s five bits.” Jim said. “What did you say any how?” “I just said that it was a bet of five bits.” Jim said shrugging. “And what was the bet now again?” Bill said looking at him. “That I could confuse you long enough. By the way... Five bits.” Jim said. “I did not accept! Go to Tartarus, ye bastard.” “Oh yes you did! Right aqua guy?” Jim said looking to Tucker. “Oh yeah... Totally.” Tucker said shrugging, before walking past them and into the dinning hall. “See? Now you owe me five bits! Fool!” Jim said smiling smugly. “Oh and I will give you one chance to win back enough for lunch today. Want to hear it?” Bill just choughed and said. “I distincly remember someone promising to buy lunch today... His name is Jim..... Or Jimath-” “Yes! Yes!... Do you want your bits or not?” Jim said hushing him. “Sure hoof them back.” “Hey you have to earn them back! They are rightfuly mine. So you want the bet or not?” “Jimatho-” “I swear to Celestia, I will feed you to that Red pegasus.” Jim said glaring. “Oh I wouldn’t mind her eating me.” Bill said wiggling his eyes suggestively. “WHO SAID THAT!?” Roger said breaking away from Rino for a moment and looking around. Bill just pointed at Jim, and scooted away from him. Roger growled... No like legit growled, befroe pointing to her eyes and then to Jim and mouthing ‘Watching you.’. Jim simply gulped in response and glared at Bill. “I am so going to kill you.” Jim said to Bill. “Oh say that to Emerald Charmer who you seem to have the hots for.” “Oh shut up. Or do I have to tell shadow streak about those photos?” Jim said. “What photos?” Bill asked innocently. Jim simply deadpanned before walking over and whispering to him before he turned redder than Roger’s coat. “Yeah. Those photos.” Jim said. “I hate being on night shifts....” Bill complained quietly unable to gaze at Jim. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Now come on... Now time for your bet. I bet you half your bits back, if you go break up that make out fest.” Jim said pointing to Rino. “Buck it.. DEAL AND LEEEEEEEROOOOY!” Bill yelled out before running in and basicly stopping next to Rino and Roger who looked at him with confusion. “I request that you two stop making out or I have to royally stop you by force.” Roger simply glared at him before she lifted her metal arm and show Bil as it separated into the three finger like appendages again and grabbing him by the neck, not hard, but a good enough grip that Bill couldn’t squirm away She pulled him over and glared at him with her soul piercing glare. “M-Ma’am, p-please put me d-down.” Bill stuttered out. Roger simply continued to glare at him before looking to Rino. “Can I maim him?” She asked in her cute voice with her puppy eyes. “N-Now that’s just ch-cheating.” Bill stuttered out. “Poor Bill... Should have stopped gambling.” Jim mumbled before snickering. Rino just looked at Bill before poking him once. “Teehee... Poke.” Rino said before looking at Roger again. “Eat your breakfast.” he said pointing at the plate in front of her. “B-but! Maiming the guard!” Roger said pointing her free hoof at Bill and pouting. “Breakfast first maiming later.” Rino said pushing the plate closer to Roger, seeing how she had pushed it away. “But I don’t want to! I want to maim the guard!” Roger whined shaking Bill back and forth for a second. “Nooo, you must eat your breakfast to grow up and become all healthy and strong.” Rino said sounding somewhat like a father. “Like I already am?” Roger asked. “Well.... Yeah, but still eat breakfast, or no more kissing, hugging, rutting, clinging... Or any other affection for today.” Rino said. Roger gawked for a moment before looking to the guard and back to Rino. Then to the guard. Then right back to Rino. “Can I at least throw him?” Roger asked. “Oh, feel free.... Not through the windows or a pillar thought.... NOR A WALL.” “Awwww... Do doors count?” Roger asked. “Yeah the seem to magicly repair themselves. “YEAH!!” Roger said before standing on her hindlegs and throwing Bill like a baseball towards the dinning hall doors. “Oh sheeeeeeit!” Was heard from Bill as he flew towards the door. “Wait that reminds me... I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!” “You don’t have wings!” Jim said ruining his mojo. “Shut up you fool!” Bill yelled out before crashing through the doors. Jim simply winced before going to the doors and looking through the hole in the door. “Well.... Good news is you get half your bits back!.... Bad news?.. You have a broken.... Everything, cept your horn.” Jim said. “Thank goddess... My horn.” “Wait is that a crack?” Jim said pointing. “Don’t SAY THAT, also get your dirty hoof away from my horn.” Bill said “Wait wait... Just a hair.” Jim said. “Stop having your hoof so close to my horn, you know how... Well... Yeah... You know.” “Yeah yeah... Hey did you hear about that big blue pony grabbing that grey metal guys horn? He held onto it for like... a full minute.” Jim said crawling through the hole and going to help up Bill. “Eww, why are you telling me this?” Bill said disgusted. “Because that guy is 400 hundred pounds and is taller than both of us. Just thought I would warn you.” Jim said shrugging. “And that fact that you are practically broken now is another reason to be worried.” He finished letting out a nervous laugh. “I’m feeling sleepy, get me to the med bay.” Bill said groggily. “Okay one moment. HALP!! HALP!! IS ANYONE THERE!?” Jim yelled out running around frantically trying to find someone to help him. “Just bucking carry me you jackflank.” Bill said raising a hoof. “HALP HALP! PLEASE HE IS INJURED! HALP HALP!” Jim said running in a circle. “HALP HALP!!!!” Twilight walked out of hte dinning hall with her mane somehow fixed and a ‘dafuq?’ face on. “What is going on out here?” Jim simply ran over and picked up Twilight, somehow, and yelled out. “HALP HALP! HE IS INJURED!! HALP!” Twilight just stared for a moment before slowly and unsurely. “Oookay?” Now back to the others! Roger lifted her head from her food before looking around. “Why do I hear cries for help?... And even more curious... Why do I not care?” Close to where Roger were sitting, there was furious scribbling... Times two, in fact there was so much of it that a cloud of colored smoke was hovering around the place, raining down colored rain on random things. “Well... That’s new.” Roger said as a drop of rainbow water landed on her nose. She simply licked it off before smiling. “MMM! Spicy!” “Does it taste like chocolate?” Pinkie asked. “Hmmm.” Roger said tapping her chin. “Eh... Kinda. Only spicy. Like hot sauce.” “Aww...” Pinkie said sadly going back to sitting properly, and eating... a cake as breakfast. “Hmmm. Wonder if... Naw, I would just get fat.” Roger said sighing before eating her food. “Oh you already are fat.” Rino said looking up from his parchment quickly. Roger just gawked before looking to her belly. “I’m not fat!... Am I?” Roger said slightly whimpering. “Oh you will be in a few months I guess, I mean the way you handle me in bed...” Rino said. Roger simply looked up for a moment before slowly turning to Rino, you could almost hear stone grinding as she did so. “What?” She said with a unreadable tone. “You know the time you forced me down... And practicly made me uh...” Rino said looking around seeing a lot of blushing mares in the dinning room. “Yeah that...” “Sooo... Pretty much you are saying that I am-” Roger began. “Maybe, No way to know for sure.” Rino said with a stonic face. “OH FUCK ALL KINDS OF DUCK!” Roger yelled out before slamming her face against the table again. Leaving yet another imprint. Rino just burst out laughing at Roger’s reaction. “What’s so funny!?” “I’m just messing with you!” Rino said clucthing his sides. Roger’s eys just twitched for a moment before she got up. “That was low blow... Even for you.” Roger said glaring. “Although I was serious about the whole forcing me down and everything.” Rino said going back to serios for a few second and then bursting out laughing. “Yea. I know. I did it.” Roger said before stomping away. “You’re a jerk!” “You love it!” Rino said through laughs. “I will throw a chair at you!” Roger threatened. “Oh don’t be like that! I’m sorry alright!” “Nope!” Roger said before stomping over to the door and pointing a hoof at Rino. “NO ASS FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!” “Awwww.” Rino said sadly before no longer furiously scribbling, but sadly and slowly scribbling away. Roger just huffed before opening the door and walking out. “DAT ASS!” Rino yelled as he looked at her ass. Roger poked her head in before glaring and belllowing out. “NO!” And slamming the door, breaking the handle off. “Oh fuck all kinds of duck.” “Well then... I finished my food long time ago.... Time to find a pissed mare and apologize.” Rino said getting of the chair and picking up the parchment.... and a crayon. “I’m not leaving this.” “Hey! That’s mine!” Celestia whined. “No!” Rino said running away. “Hey!.. Aw..” Celesita said giving a small sad sniff. “My crayon.” Then Luna walked into see her sister, along with tons of confused guards and hired help and oddly enough a bulter with a orange chicken on a platter. “Um... Sister why are you crying?” Luna said. “THAT MEAN PONY TOOK MY CRAYON!” Celestia yelled out before covering her eyes with her gold-shoed hooves and bawling. Luna simply sighed and walked over before gently patting Celestia on the back before she grabbed her and hugged her still crying. “Ugh... Looks like tis going to be one of those days.” Luna mumbled as Celesita cried for her lost coloring tool. “I HEARD IT CRY OUT FOR HELP AS HE RAN OFF WITH IT!!” Celestia yelled out before sobbing more. “Calm down. It was only one crayon. You have like a hundred more.” Luna said patting her back. “BUT THAT WAS MY FAVORITE COLOR!” She said through sobs “Oh come on dear sister-” Luna tried to reason. “NO!” Celesita pushed herself off of Luna before falling to the ground and rolling around like a foal. “I WANT HIM BACK! HE WAS MY FAVORITE! I MADE SO MANY AMAZING DRAWINGS WITH HIM!” Luna simply facehoofed as Celestia wailed like a foal and rolled on the ground. “TIA! Stop! You are a total foal!” Luna demaned. “BUT I WANT HIM BAAAAACK!” Celestia whined. “Tia, do you want your other colors taken!?” Luna threatened. “NO!! STOP IT LUNA!” Celestia yelled out. “THEN STOP WHINNING AND GO TAKE IT BACK!” Luna bellowed out in her royal canterlot voice. “BUT HE’S SO FAAAAST!!” Celestia whined. “Tia. You have wings AND magic. I think you can take him on.” Luna said sighing. “BUT ALL MY OTHER CRAYONS....” “TIA!.... Just go.” Luna said pointing to the door. “NOW.” Celestia just sprang up and rushed through the door, before peeking in and narrowing her eyes. “There is 399 Crayons in here... If I find one missing... Then my faust help you all.” “Yeah yeah.” Luna said waving he hoof at her sister before sitting down and grabbing a cup of coffee. “CAN SOME ONE PLEASE GET ME A ASPIRIN!... And get rid of that chicken!” “Hey! I’m not a chicken!” Scootaloo said. “Yes yes whatever you say strange orange and purple chicken.” Luna said waving her hoof again before a bulter pony hoofed her two pills and she gulped them down along with her coffee. “Stupid Tia and her crayons.” “Um... I’m Pinkie Pie... AND WHAT THE BUCK JUST HAPPENED!?” Pinkie yelled out. “Pinkie! Language dear!… And yes, what did just happend?” “You know that something is wrong when Pinkie says something like that.” Rainbow said from her seat. “Y-yeah....” Fluttershy quietly added. “Eeyup.” AJ said mimicking her brother. “Yep.” Wash said from the mountain of crumpled up scrolls and whatnot. He also had aquired a soda, with a funny straw.... from where you ask? NOOOO WHERE, well no where that I know off. “Wash why are you covered in drawings and scribblings?” Donut asked. “Um....” Wash said looking around and seeing the mountain, he noticed that the funny straw was poking up through the paper and same for his head. “I don’t know...” “I HAVE RETURNED!!!” Celesita bellowed out breaking down the dinning hall’s doors. She had somehow gotten quite a few battle scars and was dressed in mangled chainmail with a broken sword and crayon in her magic grip. “But... Not with out it’s losses” She slowly held up her broken crayon and dropped the sword before falling to her knees and bellowing to the sky. “Deep sea blue WHY!?!?!” “I can see why Rino would keep it....” Tucker said before sitting down next to Wash and leaning on the mountain of trash. “Sister... Just think of it like this. Now you have two!” Luna said trying to cheer Tia up. “NOOOOOO! IT WAS WHOLE BEFORE! I NEVER WILL BE AGAIN!” “Ugh.... Sometimes I wished I stayed on the moon.” Luna said rubbing her head. “At least Nightmare Moon didn’t scream about crayons.” “I can send you back there if you want... I think they have a crayon store up there.” Celestia said. “Oh god back to your coloring.” Luna said. “Okay!” Celestia said with a cheery voice and a happy smile, before walking over and sitting down at the end of the table. “Wait sister... Isn’t it time for day court?” Luna asked looking to Tia. “Day court? Nooo.... What are you talking about Luna? Are you drunk again?” “UGh... I see where this is going. GUARDS! Get the rope!” Luna said facehoofing. “Uh-oh.... I don’t want to play bondage.... It not fun.” “OH shut up.” Luna hissed at her. “Now go do your duties or I will hide your crayons!” Celestia got up from her chair before throwing herself to her knees. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” She screamed dramaticly. “Then go to Day Court. NOW.” Luna said demanding. “THERE IS NO ONE WHO LIKES THE DAY COURT.” Celestia whined. Luna just deadpanned before, without moving her head looked directly... At.. Us? “You like messing with me don’t you?” She asked. Well that’s certianly different..... Usually it’s Pinkie who does this. Hi! *Waves* I like your night! Also yes. This is very fun. “Right.... Please stop.” Luna asked. And what would make you think that I would stop? “I will sick Roger on both of you.” You know.... She in my bed would be awesome. Hey!.... Wait a minute.... Wouldn’t she kill us? Oh shut up, We are the... Well I am the Author, you are my editor. AND I AM THE HELPER! AND THE EDITOR!.... Wait a minute.... Um. Shit. Should I put this changeling back? Fuck do I care, getting sidetracked. Just put it in the Trash compactor for now... But she is so fluffly!!! *Snuggles changeling.* “Um.... Let’s just continue on with this before he gets anymore weird shall we?” Luna said before looking back to Tia. Who was still screaming. Pinkie just looked at us too. “Why did she get all my glory?” Seriously, side tracking! THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS! I LIKE LUNA! THAT’S WHY! Pinkie is cool to though. YES. YES. Everyone just ignored Pinkie but looked strangely at Luna. Psst. nice save. OKAY FUCK THIS, ENDING CHAPTER HERE. Well then. PARTY TIME! *Grabs Luna and runs* Party time meaning rape. Okay. THIS WAS PLANNED! *random door closes.* Planned rape..... That's a new one for me... *Random rock thrown* Whoops! Stupid closet. “Well this is extremely different....” Pinkie said looking confused. "Who the fuck are you talking to?" Church asked, looking at Pinkie.