Pinkie Pie triumphantly strolled around the Royal Gardens, holding her newly acquired stick proudly in her mouth. The art of stick-collecting was an ancient art, appreciated by few and practiced by yet fewer. There were many who chided these purveyors of pointy planking, but the laughing would stop as soon as the critics would find themselves in need of something with which to doodle in the dirt when they’re bored, or to throw for their dog when they couldn’t find a tennis ball.
This stick was especially interesting. A trained baculumatic* could deduce that it was, in fact, made of a very specific type of yew, and had a hollow core, filled with some strange material. It had been smoothed, except for the wider base, which had been made into some sort of handle. Pinkie Pie just thought it looked pretty.
“Weyf unfill the girlf thee whuff I’ff found!” she said, the twig still perched between her teeth. The pale wood lustered in Princess Celestia’s early afternoon sun. It gave her a strange feeling; it seemed like there was something else inside of her, something new, something she had never experienced before. And it probably wasn’t the quesadilla she’d had for lunch.
Suddenly, she heard something let out a loud chirp. Frightened, she turned her head rapidly in the direction of the noise. Before she could even focus on what had made the noise, a flash of silver light had come out of nowhere. It struck a nearby statue, transfiguring its august and triumphant equine form of white marble into a taco the size of a full-grown pony.
“Huh” thought Pinkie Pie. “I guess I shouldn’t have had Marexican for lunch”.
She turned back, continuing her walk despite the uncanny event which had just happened.
“Here…. huh… huh…. we are….” Twilight Sparkle said, gasping for breath as she conquered the final step of a long spiral staircase. “The…. ugh…. North Tower”.
Rarity and Applejack followed, likewise collapsing on the upper landing. Rainbow Dash soared in from a large, open window.
“Come on guys, no time to rest! Let’s go!” She said, utterly oblivious of her friends’ wingless agony.
“Coming… huh…. Rainbow… jus’… eugh…. wait a second, willya?” Applejack contested.
“There’s no time, Applejack! We have to get the Princess back! We have to save Equestria!”
“..And, we have to get this human back to her world” Twilight added.
“Uh, yeah, that too… I guess” Rainbow Dash said.
Eventually, the five ponies found themselves in front of a large pair of wooden doors, painted purple with golden handles. Twilight magically opened the doors, revealing a young human girl with wavy hair or pale gold, seated in a chair that was quite ordinary. She was under the close watch of two guard pegasi in the uniform of Celestia’s finest.
“The princess has decl… oh. Sorry, Twilight” the guard began to say, before correcting himself upon identifying the visitor.
“We seek consul with the alien,” she said with a certain regal air, “It is of an urgent matter”.
“Of course” the guard replied. He nodded to his counterpart, and they silently departed out the doors.
The five ponies were left alone with the human girl in an old storage room that had been hastily converted into a solitary confinement cell. She did not look frightened, nor confused, or even mildly upset, just strangely pensive and stoic. Escape was obviously not a problem; the doors hadn't even been locked. Even so, the five surrounded the convict, leaving only the open window to certain death as an exit.
“Have I seen you before?” Luna asked, looking at Twilight in the centre.
“I was with the Princess during your interrogation” she said, leaving out the part where she had knocked out her captor, drugged her, and brought her all the way back to Canterlot.
“How…. how did I get here?” She asked. This was no longer the emotionless, remorseless alien. This was a girl that missed her family and friends.
“We’ll ask the questions here!” Rainbow Dash added sharply. Twilight leered at her. Slightly embarrassed, the cerulean pegasus took a step back.
“We don’t quite know yet. What we do know is that unless we send you back soon, you may never go back” Twilight said, “because there won’t be anywhere to go back to”.
Luna was staggered. Before Twilight could extrapolate further, however, the doors of the room flew open, revealing the same guard that had left the room mere minutes before, now hyperventilating as he reached the door.
“The Princess… huff… situation… ugh… in the gardens” he was able to vocalize before promptly fainting. Without thinking, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rarity were blazing down the spiral stairs, and the two pegasi had flown out the window. Seizing her chance, Luna Lovegood followed the ponies down at a safe distance, stepping carefully over the unconscious sentinel.
The Royal Canterlot Gardens looked like a war zone, if the opposing forces had fought with party supplies and a buffet. Towering layer cakes stood in the place of statues. Confetti littered the greenery like morning dew. There were streamers everywhere. When the five ponies arrived, the Princess herself was being liberated from the soft yellow flesh of a gigantic pineapple.
“Dammit, Pinkie Pie” she said.
*baculumatic - a collector of sticks