The pegasus' jaw dropped to the ground. And I mean it literally. It just dropped and hit the dirt, like something out of a frickin' cartoon. That itself was strange enough, but even more whacked out things were happening at the moment. Like my body for example.
I could no longer feel my clothes hugging my body, heck, I couldn't even feel my arms and legs either, sort of. When I tried to wiggle my fingers and toes, I got no movement whatsoever. Flopping my arms had some results, like there were flippers attached to the sides of my chest where my arms should be. My legs, however, felt more like leg. Only one that I could move, left, right, up and down. So things weren't looking too bad at the moment. Except for the looking part...
My vision was split in two, a dark line in the middle separating two images. It was freaky, to say the least. I could see the pegasus, but at two different angles at the same time. And for some reason, I unexplainably knew she was exactly five feet, six inches away from me. Heck, I could see all around me, and in crystal clear color too. So good in fact I can focus on an individual blade of grass ten feet away without a problem.
There was also the matter of my mouth, which was... definitely not normal at the moment. In fact, it felt like I didn't have much of a lower jaw at all. More like a tongue, actually. I tried moving it up, and much to my surprise it curled up like a snake. Moving it left to right produced these same results. My lower jaw was like a rope I could control any which way I pleased, with a bunch of serrated teeth attached to it as a bonus. Have to admit, that was pretty sweet.
I then noticed the pegasus was still shivering there, staring in awe, or more like disgust, at my jaw playing spectacle. "W-What are you?" she squeaked, backing away quickly. The noise could barely be registered by any normal person, but for some reason my hearing went up a few notches and I heard exactly what she said.
"Holy shit another time! You can talk!" I blurted out, the process of speaking awkward at the time being, what with my lower jaw being the only one able to move and it kept on trying to curl back into my chin.
"You can talk!" she replied hastily, falling on her back and scooting away.
"Yeah, I know that. But how can you be able to pronounce words, and in English no less?" I asked her, clearly a female from the tone of her voice and clearly girly color scheme.
"How can a shark talk and speak Equestrian?" she shot back, now exactly twenty two feet, seven inches away from me.
"Shark? What are you talking about? I'm no-" It was at this moment that it finally hit me. The fossil, the rainbow light, the sudden appearance in a pond talking to a pegasus and the inability to use my limbs. It all made sense now. "I'm high as fuck!"
"W-What?" the pegasus said, taken aback by his statement. "High as what now?"
"That's the only explainable reason why this is happening. Dave probably put a roofie in my coffee this morning or something idiotic like that. This is all the result of drugs fucking with my mind." Certainly made the most sense at the moment to me.
"Um, but I'm real," she pointed out, no longer shivering but still plenty apprehensive about approaching closer to me.
"Sure, a talking pegasus is definitely real," I said while rolling my eyes, or at least trying to. The 360 vision made it confusing as hell rotating my eyeballs. "This is obviously just the product of my drug addled mind. I'll probably have to head over to therapy after this to deal with the fact I started hallucinating about pegasi, but other than that I'll just wait this out." I gave her a smug grin, or the best one I could manage, and sighed in relief. And tried to breathe. And failed at this.
"Is something wrong?" she asked when she noticed my struggling breaths.
"Can't... breathe... need air... now," I managed to spit out before the last oxygen in my lungs left my body.
"Oh no!" she yelled, rushing over to me as I flopped in the mud of the shallow water. "You need water to breathe!" She pushed me deeper in the pond, grunting at my large weight as I finally dived beneath the surface. Instantly I could breathe again, gulping in the pond water like no tomorrow. For now reason I felt flaps at the sides of my neck open up as I breathed, the water instead entering over the surface here and giving me air. I didn't know which way was more effective, so I tried both until my lugs were properly sated.
Wiggling my body back to the surface, my head broke out of the water and I yelled, "Holy shit, I am a shark!" That much was clear from my near land drowning.
"Yeah, I noticed," she said, wiping sweat from her forehead, her body now coated in mud along with water.
"B-But I can't be a shark! I'm a human! Not a Helicoprion! They've been extinct for millions of years!"
"Heli-what now?" the pegasus asked, her head tilted to the side.
"Helicoprion. A shark that went extinct millions of years ago. The ones with the weird ass jaws like myself," I explained, waving my whip-like jaw in front of her face. It seems that by having my neck stay below the surface but my head still sticking out I can breathe fine with my gills, though it was shallow breaths at best. Still didn't know how to properly control them. "But I can't be one because I'm a human."
"Well, I don't know what a human is, but you're clearly a shark," she said, backing away from my jaw wiggling. "How did you end up here in the first place?"
"I was cleaning the glass on the exhibit, the Helicoprion fossil started glowing pretty colors, I touched it, and boom. Teleported and shape shifted right on over in the land of talking pegasi."
"Well, there aren't just talking pegasi here," she admitted.
I arched an eyebrow, if I had one, and said, "Oh, let me guess. There are unicorns too?"
"Along with earth ponies, dragons, gryphons, minotaurs, and a whole bunch of other races," she said.
"... well fuck me, I landed in magical wonderland, huh? I really, really, really wish I actually was high right now," I groaned, attempting to shake my head. This only resulted in my body moving with the confines of my neck moving, my torso and tail whipping side to side. "And now I have to deal with the fact I'm a fish. Fucking fantastic."
"Well, it's not all bad," the pegasus said, a warm smile on her face.
"How exactly is it not all bad?" I spat at her. "And why aren't you running away afraid like last time?"
"Well, you're not so bad once I got to talk to you," she replied. "And even though you're in a completely different world with a whole new body, I'll be your friend to make everything easier for you."
"Wait, you'd actually be instant friends with a talking shark that appeared out of no where?" I asked in disbelief.
"I sure would. Name's Fluttershy," the pink maned pegasus greeted, reaching out with her hoof for me to shake, or do something with.
I stared at her outstretched hoof, the fact that I didn't have arms not dawning on her. "Name's Mike, and sorry to burst your bubble, but even if I did have arms and hands I wouldn't shake your hoof," I replied coldly. "I mean, who makes friends with a complete stranger like that? You know nothing about me! And I know nothing about you."
She frowned slightly, her unnatural big pupils growing even larger. "Well, Mike, you just seem afraid and confused. Even if you look scary, that doesn't mean I still can't be your friend. Everyone needs a friend when in need."
"Now, isn't that touching," I mocked her, withdrawing my jaw so it once again curled under my chin. "But frankly, I don't give a damn and I don't want to be your friend. I just want to go home, and drink until I forget all about this."
"Oh... okay then," she said meekly, sniffing and wiping her nose. "You don't have to be so mean about it."
"Of course I'm going to be fucking mean about it! I have no arms and legs! How do you think that makes me feel?" I shouted at her, submerging my head below the surface again to grab another gulp of water to catch my breath.
"It must feel terrible," she admitted, trying to hide her head behind her wet mop of a mane. "I was only trying to help..."
I scoffed at her. "The only help I need is a way back home with my proper body! If you can't do that, you're a useless idiot!"
"I-I-I..." Tears streamed down her face as she went running off, bawling her eyes out like a newborn brat.
"Hey, come back here!" I shouted at her, pulling myself closer to the water's edge so she could hear me. "Don't just fucking leave me here, you... you...... damn," I sighed, crawling back in the water. "Way to go, moron, you scared off your only chance to survive in this world. Nice fucking idea," I berated myself. I really did need to learn to control my temper, especially when making first contact with another sentient species.
For the next several minutes I floated atop the water, breathing in and out through my gills, which I was getting better the hang of, as I waited for something to happen. Eventually, my stomach growled. I didn't eat anything for breakfast, and lunch was supposed to be fifteen minutes ago by my time standards.
I dunked my head bellow the surface, and instantly I could feel the presence of other lifeforms. It's weird to explain, but it felt like I had this field enveloping me, a slight buzz tingling my snout. I couldn't exactly see how far out it went, but each movement of the water disrupted it, like a bubble surrounding me that didn't break but could feel all the movement being played on it. And right now, I could feel a certain disturbance that sent my senses on overdrive.
A koi fish, elegant and graceful, swimming without a care nearby me. In the blink of an eye I was on it. The koi may have been smaller, and my large size definitely wasn't helping me out in this situation, I had the edge of unparalleled primal hunger and predatory instincts. My lower jaw coiled up and sprung out liked a whip, clearly through the water like it was butter, wrapping around the body of the koi just as it was about to escape. The serrated teeth of my jaw tore the fish to shreds as I gulped the blood and fish guts, the taste of flesh only fueling my hunger.
I ended my meal with a final chomp, my electrical field picking up even more movement around me. No, this wasn't a meal. This was a feeding frenzy.
Rainbow Dash stood in mute silence at the edge of the pond, her jaw dropping to the ground much like a mare only minutes before her at the horror of the scene before her. The pond was quickly turning red with blood, fish bits rising to the surface. Below, in the deep edge of the water, one could clearly see thrashing and a large figure moving this way and that as even more gore followed in its wake.
"Dear Celestia, that's disgusting!" the rainbow maned pegasus moaned, a hoof held up to her mouth to try and keep the vomit from spilling forth. Who knew a visit to Fluttershy's cottage would begin with her checking out a red pond and finding the remains of numerous fish here.
Then out popped the head of a koi, the poor guy still alive somehow as his jaw moved up and down to gulp down water to no available body. It was at this point that Rainbow Dash threw up, her puke mixing with the red of the pond water. I could call this poetic, but I think disgusting fits the term better.