//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1: Unexpected 
// Story: Seriously? 
// by RainbowBob 
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	"Wow, just look at the row of teeth on this guy," the fat man said, poking the glass case with his meaty finger, smearing fingerprints on it. The row of teeth was shaped in a spiral, the fossil remnants of what appeared to be the lower jaw of an animal trapped in a mud deposit millions of years ago. "Bastard had a mouth like a chainsaw."

I sighed from over at my end of the room, rubbing my brow in aggravation. It didn't help that every moron in the place had to touch the glass. Even though there was clearly a sign saying not to five feet away. Right there, in large, red print. Seriously, how can you not see that?

Cracking my neck in preparation for another polite cease and desist, I made my way over to the chunky individual, who was toting around a smaller but lookalike version of himself. Probably his son. They both had the same ugly mug and protruding gut, even though the kid couldn't be more than seven years old. Politely coughing to catch their attention, I said, "Excuse me, sir, it's museum policy to not touch the glass cases on the exhibits."

It took several moments for these words to register in fatso's head, and he immediately withdrew his sweaty paw from smearing the glass. "Just wanted to know what type of monster this guy is. With all the teeth and all."

I took a glance at the text right underneath on the podium of the exhibit, clearly explaining the name and other useful facts about the animal related to the fossil. Since the man was unable to follow the rules, even though they were clearly stated in large print not more than two feet away from him, I suspected that he was illiterate and only bothered to look at the picture of what the creature supposedly looked like. Sighing yet again and getting disappointed in humanity more and more, I said, "It is a Helicoprion, a Chordata, or fish, if you will, in the Chondrichthyes class, better known as cartilaginous fishes, or sharks."

"So he is a shark?" chimed in the man's son, already the perfect poster child for a childhood obesity commercial. "Did he eat cavemen?"

I silently ground my teeth, controlling my anger at the sheer stupidity at this question. He was just a child, and his brain was probably already stunted from the inbred genes of his father. I merely brought my hands behind my back and said, "No, since he went extinct in the early Triassic period, about 225 million years ago. Homo sapiens didn't exist back then. He, like many others of the Eugeneodontida order, were only around from the Carboniferous period all the way to the Triassic. What made him and many of his order special, or bizarre, if you will, was the fact they had a tooth-whorl design for their teeth. To this day, many paleontologists, such as myself, still speculate on how this structure was actually used."

Fatso senior and junior were silent for once, this new batch of facts flying over their heads and making their tiny primal brains working on overdrive. "Um, so, it's a shark, right?" the large man asked.

"... yes, it's a shark, you blundering idiot!" I snapped at him. "I just said it, and it says so on the frickin' text underneath the exhibit if you could actually read!"

Both father and son stared in shock at me, the little lard boy in near tears. The man took his son by the shoulder and began to walk off, not before yelling over his shoulder, "I"ll be talking to the owner of this museum about your behavior! Just you wait and see."

Sighing for the third time in less than five minutes, I ran a hand nervously down my short brown hair and leaned against the exhibit case. "Looks like Mikey pissed someone off again," a familiar voice teased from behind my back.

"Not now, Dave, I'm not in the mood for your shit," I groaned, rubbing my face with the back of my hand. Dave, the voice in question, walked over in front of me. He had short, spiky blonde hair that was a bit on the greasy side, was as thin as a twig, and had a face only a mother could love because of his pencil nose, grimy teeth, and dark bag underneath his eyes. That, along with his yellowed nails, was a clear indicator of a smoking habit. Or you could just tell from the pack of cancer sticks he always kept in his front pocket.

"What shit, dude? Just tryin' to lighten you up is all," he teased, poking my chest with a boney finger. "Ya gotta relax, mate. Kickback. Though, you might get the chance if the boss fires ya for the little stunt you pulled."

"Like I give a damn anymore," I retorted, smacking away his finger away. "I'm sick and tired of working in this crummy museum. I didn't go to college for six years to get a degree in paleontology just to sit on my ass and help idiot tourists."

"Well, what are ya gonna do?" Dave asked, his fingers playing with a cigarette as his urge for a smoke slowly grew. "I did the same time you did and I'm just dandy with this gig."

"I wanted to travel the world. Visit dig sites. Discovering the secrets of the ancient world. But no. Instead, I get this shitty job," I moaned. "God, I feel like a whiner today."

"That's because it's Monday, mate!" Dave laughed, playfully slapping me on the back while he stuck his cig in his mouth. "Just ease up a bit, Mike. Take some time off if ya need it. Do some soul searchin' if ya want."

I nodded my head, smiling a bit. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, Dave."

"Glad you do. Now, I'm gonna take an early smoke break, so cover my ass while I'm gone," he said.

Rolling my eyes at Dave's usual antics, I agreed, and was soon left all alone in the fossil wing of the museum. Business was a bit dead today, so I was quickly bored out of my mind. Glancing back at the exhibit of the Helicoprion, I noticed the greasy smudges left there earlier by lard butt's hand. 

Hissing in annoyance, I hightailed it to a janitor's closet and quickly grabbed some glass cleaner and a clean rag. If there was one thing I was going to be nit-picky on, it was dirty glass cases. Can't stand the sight of that.

Spraying a good dose on it, I wiped furiously, intent on venting my aggression on the cleaning job at hand. After a good amount of rub and shine, the glass case protecting the exhibit was all sparkly once again. Except for... 

"What the hell?" I pondered, peering closer at the fossil. There seemed to be something wedged right in the middle of the tooth-whirl. Something shiny, and... rainbows? "You got to be shitting me," I said aloud, the small spot that was reflecting rainbows on the teeth slowly growing larger.

Looking left and right to make sure no one was watching, I careful unlocked the glass case from its stand and removed it from the exhibit, revealing the fossil to the open air. The small spot was now a decent sized circle, light rainbow hues glowing from its light.

Okay, this was getting into the weird and unexplainable territory. While I'm all prepared for weird, since it is a requirement for my job, the unexplainable I do not. Being a man of science, if I can't understand it through facts or figures, I consider it bullshit. Yet how can I properly explain a slowly growing circle glowing rainbow colors appearing out of nowhere on a fossil?

"Shit," I said, realizing what had to be done and not liking it one bit. If there was one thing that was my Achilles' Heel, it was my dangerous sense of curiosity. It's the reason I became a paleontologist in the first place; curious about the past world and wanting to understand it more.

Hovering my index finger over the circle of changing lights, I became nervous. Hesitant even. What will happen if I actually touched it? Why was it there in the first place? Am I really that stupid I'd actually do something like this? Most of these questions and more were answered the instant I poked the circle.

I disappeared in a flash of bright, white light, a cliché dimension hopping act if I ever saw one.





"Time to feed the fishes!" Fluttershy said happily, a box of fish feed bouncing on her back as she trotted over to the river nearby her cottage. The timid pegasus was certainly in the joyous mood, having fed most of her animals just minutes before. And now came the last contenders, the fishes that hung by the pond. Whistling a jolly tune, she flew up over a hill and started to gently descended down until she reached the pod that ran at the end of the river.

At her arrival many the aquatic life popped their heads out of the water. Koi, bass, catfish, barbs, and yes, even goldfish all eagerly opened and closed their mouths for their daily feeding.

"Wow, you all are certainly hungry today," she joked, setting the box down and opening it, scooping up a hoofful of food. "Now, remember to share," she called out, throwing the feed to the fish, along with several more hooffuls just to be sure they all got properly fed.

Just as the fish began to smack down on their food, a loud bang could be heard from up above, the bright flash of light temporarily blinding all those present. This was quickly followed by a loud splash that threw up a wall of water which quickly soaked Fluttershy to the bone. The poor mare's coat and mane hung downward, just as water droplets dripped from her wings onto the grounds.

The yellow coated pegasus cowered in a mix of fear and coldness, since the water certainly wasn't warm. "W-Who's t-t-there?" she stuttered, staring at the still pond for any sign of movement that was an indicator of the thing that just splashed down out of no where. At first nothing moved, but then a head popped out of the water that nearly caused her to have a heart attack.

It was a shark, a real life shark, except its entire bottom jaw was replaced with what appeared with be a circular saw of a sort. The shark stared at her, unblinking, and then it finally opened its mouth, the rows of razor sharp teeth nearly scaring Fluttershy to death. "Holy shit, a pegasus! Un-fucking-believable!"