//------------------------------//
// Epilogue 
// Story: Obama Goes to Equestria 
// by a human 
//------------------------------//


Two years later…


Beepbeepbeepbeep…

Beepbeepbeepbeep…

Rainbow Dash reached over and gently turned her alarm clock off.

It was time.

She groggily flew out of her bedroom, out of a window, towards a monolithic structure in front of Canterlot. Even from a distance, she could hear everyone inside, preparing for the daily ritual.

The ritual of raising the sun.

The monolith stood impossibly tall, and extended deep, deep underground, manipulating who knows what down in the earth to bring on the next day. Every inch was held together by magic, bending space in ways it was never meant to. Some said that if you went deep enough, the corridors would start changing. That time and physics would stop behaving the way they were supposed to. Twilight was the only one who could begin to understand it. Nothing about it was natural, but it got the job done, and that was the important part.

Rainbow Dash slowly flew in through a large opening in the side into the runway room. The crew saluted her. They toiled day and night to make sure that this worked. She looked up to the office towards the top. Twilight stood outside it. She nodded.

Rainbow Dash flew through a large hangar door into a room with a giant gear in it. Not everything in this structure could be powered by magic. Even Twilight couldn't consistently raise that much magic. So they utilized the springs and physical motion for the rest.

And, as the fastest flyer in Equestria, Rainbow Dash was the one that had to wind it up. She started flying in a circle, slow at first, then faster, then faster.

Bringing in all the pegasi was too chaotic. They tried that once. Someone flew off course and ended up crashing everyone, destroying large sections of the machine. They just barely managed to fix it before the plants stopped making oxygen. That was too close.

So, it fell back to Rainbow Dash. It wasn't horrible. There were perks. But she had to conserve her energy for this monumental task. No more Wonderbolts. That was a pipe dream now. Twilight said she would look into another way of powering the device, but as before, none of them were pleasant, and now everyone depended on the system.

So she stuck with it. She went faster and faster and faster until the room became a giant blur, and the giant center gear started slowly turning. With a loud, jarring creak, the other gears followed, making the entire room shake. The center gear started moving of its own accord, and Rainbow Dash could hear the bolts of magic electricity forming underneath it. It was time to get out.

As quickly as she could, she bolted out of the room, just in time to watch it violently fill with bright magic bolts. The gears started turning faster and faster. The sound was deafening. Outside, slowly, mechanically, the sky started rotating. It was a rough motion, and it creaked under the pressure.

On the ground, everyone's hearts pounded as the sun started to inch its way up the horizon. With much effort, it climbed further up the sky, until finally, with a loud clank, it settled at the top.

The day had begun. It wasn't pretty, but once again, it had worked.

It was the price to pay for freedom.

– – – –

Today was one of the few days Twilight had off. Being away from the machine worried her, but everyone else assured her that it was better for her not to overwork herself. And it was nice seeing her friends once in a while.

Unfortunately, as walked through the Canterlot Square, she spotted Rarity.

Rarity waved.

Twilight tried to ignore her.

Rarity, of course, immediately galloped over. "Oh, Twilight! It's been forever since I've last seen you!"

"A year and two months." Twilight counted.

"Right, right. I've got so much to show you around Canterlot! The others waiting for you!"

"Really?"

"Of course!"

"Even Rainbow Dash?"

"Of course! She doesn't hate you."

Twilight looked down at the ground.

"Look, stop blaming yourself about all this," Rarity said. "Everyone knew what they were getting into."

"Is Obama there?"

"What?"

Twilight looked up. "I said, is Obama there?"

"Yes, of course. He lives around here. Why?"

"It's nothing."

Obama had since become the head of the pony IRS. Some had wanted him to take Celestia's place, since he had the most leadership experience, but he turned the opportunity down. He didn't want to replace one monarch for another. 

Unfortunately, as a result, no one really knew what they were doing, and the government was developing awkwardly. This was one of the few cases where one could say Obama's absence was responsible for a committee on a subcommittee's committees.

"Come on, follow me," Rarity said. "The others are waiting at a café."

"A café?"

Rarity shrugged. "It seemed homey. Sometimes we meet up at each other's houses, but that always turns out awkward, especially if it has a bedroom."

"No, I mean why are we all meeting up like this? We usually don't."

"Don't you know?" Rarity said. "It's been exactly 2 years since that day." She paused. "When Celestia died."

Twilight lurched. So much for not bringing back bad memories. "Let's just get on with it, then," she said, and followed Rarity away.

– – – –

Pinkie Pie walked through the Canterlot town square, looking for the café. Following her was Scootaloo.

"So everyone's meeting up?" Scootaloo said. "Even Rainbow Dash?"

"That's right!" Pinkie Pie said. "We don't see each other as much since Twilight works in that tower now, so we're all meeting at a café."

"Any special occasion?"

"Nothing really."

Scootaloo thought about it. "It's the anniversary of Celestia's death, isn't it?"

Pinkie Pie was silent.

Scootaloo looked serious. "It still bothers you, doesn't it?"

"I…"

"You can talk to me about it. You know I won't tell anyone."

Pinkie Pie looked at Scootaloo. "I'm… I'm not sure she's dead."

"What?"

"If I had actually killed her, I would have died too."

Scootaloo smiled. "Well, you were wrong!" she said. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"I'm not wrong," Pinkie Pie said. "I know it so strongly, and I felt it when I went in to you. I felt myself falling apart. When I went into Celestia, I didn't feel anything. Nothing at all."

"Then what happened? She's been gone for two years."

"She could be hiding. Waiting for a chance to strike back." Pinkie Pie shook her head. "I don't know, I don't want to think about it."

"Shouldn't you tell the others?" Scootaloo said.

"I don't want them to know," Pinkie Pie said. "I'm sure they've thought of it, and if this happens again, I don't want to make them choose to sacrifice me." She looked at Scootaloo. "So you promise not to tell anyone again?"

"Of course."

Pinkie Pie looked ahead. "I think that's it. Do you want to come?"

"No, Rainbow Dash would probably just end up accidentally strangling me with dental floss or something," Scootaloo said. "See you! Have fun!"

Pinkie Pie watched Scootaloo ride off, and approached the table in front of the café. It was easy to figure out which one. Rainbow Dash didn't exactly blend.

– – – –

"And this is downtown Canterlot! Or at least it used to be until taxes got too high and it became a slum," Rarity said. "Isn't this fun?"

She was doing a very bad job at convincing Twilight any of this was a good idea. Also, Twilight was pretty sure they were lost.

"Here, follow me through this alley," Rarity said, squeezing inbetween a couple buildings. "It's a shortcut."

Twilight, despite her best judgment, followed.

"Probably the most exciting thing that's been going on recently is Obama's been lobbying for straight rights," Rarity said, pushing through various trash cans and hobos. "Granted, it ruins most of my attempts to be controversial, but anything that saves that much sales tax has to be a good cause."

"That's right, girlie," said an intimidating sounding voice. "Money's a much bigger problem these days."

Two rough looking stallions jumped out from around a corner. They both had scars covering their bodies and gruesome looking torture implements on their cutie marks. They wielded the instruments in their mouths. "Your wallets. Now," the one on the left said.

Rarity and Twilight both examined each other's state of nudity.

"Don't get smart with me! You're both unicorns! Teleport them over!"

"Do you know who we are?" Rarity said.

"Do you know who we are?" the one on the right said. "We used to be members of the Royal Guard until you unicorns went and killed Celestia and put us out of a job!"

"Fine," Twilight said. She smiled. "But do you know how difficult it is to teleport a single object from your house? It would be a lot easier for me to just teleport us both there."

Rarity lurched. "Twilight! No!"

"Don't listen to her," the mugger said, then grabbed Twilight. He turned to his partner. "If I'm not back in five minutes, kill her."

He nodded.

"Twilight!" Rarity said.

Twilight looked at Rarity. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

"That's not what I'm worried ab—"

And Twilight was gone, taking the mugger with her.

"Shut up, bitch!" the stallion holding Rarity yelled, waving around an uncomfortably sharp device near her neck.

Rarity was beyond fear. "You shut up! You know where she lives!?"

"No! Should I?"

"Yes! She lives in that!" Rarity screamed, pointing towards the monolith. 

"What? In the mountains?"

"In. That."

"You crazy? You think I'm stupid?" the mugger yelled. "No one can live in that thing. It's the single most wrong place in Equestria."

"Yes, it is," Rarity said. "Guess who built it."

– – – –

The two materialized in a dark cavern. Twilight tumbled against a wall, and her passenger looked around manically.

"What are you trying to pull?" the mugger said. "I told you what would happen if we weren't back in five minutes. Take me to your real home!"

"This is my real home," Twilight said, "and we will be back in five minutes."

"Don't—"

"In their time."

"What?"

"I believe you were looking for this?" Twilight held her wallet up, and pulled some bills out.

"Give me that!"

"Take it."

He lunged at her, but she dodged impossibly fast. He tried a couple more times to no avail. He seemed tired for some reason.

"What are you doing?" he panted after a while. "It's been five minutes already. Your friend is dead."

"It's been less than a second to them."

"What?"

"Time doesn't always move at the same rate in here. Where you are, it moves about 500 times slower than the outside world. I think I'll leave you in there for…" Twilight thought about it. "I don't know, a month."

"What!?"

"Don't worry about food or water or anything. Your body will still age as if only five minutes have passed. But for that same reason, try not to do that much. Imagine how much it would fry your muscles to walk 80 miles in five seconds." She smiled. "And I'll drop by every one of your weeks to see how you're doing. I only have to appear once every minute for five minutes, after all."

The mugger looked at her in fear. "Who… who are you!?"

"Ever hear of the pony who organized Celestia's assassination? The pony who made a machine to raise the sun?"

"Twilight… Sparkle?"

"You chose the wrong pony to mug."

And she disappeared for that week.

– – – –

"Where the heck are they?" Rainbow Dash said, checking a, for once, real wristwatch.

Applejack faced Rainbow Dash. "You know how much she's been through. Give them time."

Fluttershy said they had probably been mugged and were dead in an alley right now.

"That's impossible," Obama said. "That only happens in New York."

Fluttershy said she would go and disembowel the perpetrator.

"Okay," Applejack said.

– – – –

"Your friend sure is pushing it," the other mugger said to Rarity.

"Don't worry, she'll come back," Rarity said. "Watch."

The two teleported back. Twilight glared blankly at the mugger holding Rarity while his partner collapsed to the ground in an exhausted heap. 

"Let… let me out…" he wheezed.

"What did you do to him?" the mugger said, threatening Rarity with his torture implement.

"I took him to my home," Twilight said, slowly approaching him. "Some parts are more pleasant than others."

"What did you do to him!?"

He was about to lunge at her, but suddenly stopped. Twilight and Rarity couldn't tell why until they heard it. A light fluttering sound, followed by some gentle footsteps.

Fluttershy stepped into the scene.

She said hello.

The muggers screamed in terror and escaped.

"Thanks, Fluttershy, you're a lifesaver," Rarity said. "How did you get them to leave?"

Fluttershy said she was the kingpin of the pony mafia now.

"That's cool," Rarity said. 

Fluttershy asked what Twilight did to that guy.

"I put him in one of the monolith's time distortion fields for a month," Twilight said.

Fluttershy nodded in admiration.

"Okay," Rarity stammered, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm famished! Let's go to that café!"

"Rarity," Twilight said, "do you think I went overboard?"

"Well…"

"I did, didn't I?"

Fluttershy assured her she didn't.

"Coming from you, that's not much consolation," Twilight said. She looked down. "I had five minutes alone with him, and I completely broke him. I'm turning into… into…"

The three were silent.

"I think," Twilight said, "there's something I have to do."

– – – –

"You want to do what now?" Applejack said.

"I want to go back to the castle," Twilight said. "I think we all need to."

Applejack stared at her. "Why?"

"It's been two years, and we've just pretended that nothing's happened," Twilight said. "We were the ones responsible for changing this world. Killing Celestia. I think we need to finally need to face that."

Pinkie Pie looked at Twilight.

"Why now?" Rainbow Dash said. 

"On the way here, me and Rarity got mugged," Twilight said. "Fluttershy rescued us before things got too bad, but when one of the muggers threatened me, I stuck him in one of the slow time pockets of the monolith for five minutes. For him it lasted a month." She paused. "I had five minutes alone with him and I completely broke him."

The rest of the gang was silent.

"I'm worried that… that if I don't do anything I might turn out just like Celestia…"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Rarity said. "You're the nicest pony I've met!"

"Yeah, but for how much longer?" Twilight said. "I think we need to remind ourselves that while what we did might've been necessary, it wasn't good. And I can't think of any better way to do that than browsing the carcass of Canterlot Castle." She looked at the gang. "Who's with me?"

They looked at each other uncomfortably.

– – – –

The castle had been abandoned long ago. After Celestia died, most people assumed that the castle was cursed, either because they believed she booby-trapped the place, her vengeful spirit would come back from the afterlife, or both. Those who didn't also stayed away, mainly for safety, since the pony who understood all the castle's space tricks was now dead. 

Unfortunately for the rest of the mane six and Obama, the pony who second best understood the castle's space tricks wasn't, and she had no such reservations.

"Do we really have to come back here?" Rainbow Dash said. "This place gives me the creeps."

"You guys can leave if you want," Twilight said. "I'm mainly doing this for myself."

"Okay," Spike said, and left.

"Come on, let's look around," Twilight said.

They started walking around the castle. Everyone else assumed their fears about the castle would be proven wrong as they traversed it, but of course, the trek only confirmed them. They were completely right in assuming that Celestia booby-trapped the castle, and if they weren't traveling with one of the most powerful magic users in Equestria, they'd be long dead. Not to mention, the space tricks were just as complicated as they were expecting, and after finding five rooms inside trash cans they were seriously tired of this crap.

"Okay, I realize you need closure and all," Applejack said, "but we're going to be lucky to get out of here alive."

"What? We can handle this," Twilight said as she dodged and dismantled a flying axe. "Besides, we're right next to the throne room. We can leave after that."

Applejack shrugged. "Okay."

Twilight kicked open a cabinet and faced the rest of the gang. "See? It's just down here. Down this hallway."

They entered the cabinet and slowly started walking down the hallway. It was quieter than the rest of the castle. And cleaner. While the other rooms were in various states of disrepair, this one didn't have a spot on it. 

They all noticed something was different about this hallway, but didn't say anything. In Canterlot Castle, 'different' was relative, and in fact, finding any consistency in it probably meant you were more trapped than you thought. 

It was natural, really. They were returning to the site of the world's greatest murder—the one they committed. They turned the world upside down, and now they were confronting their actions. Some nerves were completely normal. 

Nothing was surprising about this. 

Nothing at all.

Then they opened the throne room and saw her.

"Hello, my faithful student," Celestia said, smiling, lounging on the throne.

The gang froze.

Applejack turned to Twilight. "Is that… really her?"

"Is your heart rate going up?"

"Uh huh."

"Then yes."

Pinkie Pie was utterly silent.

Celestia laughed. "Did you really think you could kill me off that easily?" she said, gracefully stepping off the throne. "You're so naïve. I must admit, though, the break was nice."

"You… were just playing dead?" Applejack said.

"Oh, you must be a regular grade school graduate," Celestia said. "Luna?"

Luna came out from behind the curtains.

"You helped her!?" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Luna! You cheat!"

"She didn't do anything. She's just here," Celestia said. "Discord helped me."

Twilight looked confused. "But he was—"

"Discord has no loyalties," Celestia said. "He figured the only thing that would be more chaotic than my death would be coming back afterwards. We struck a deal and he helped me fake it. He's had more than his fair share of fun just watching  the chaos you've let unfold."

"This isn't chaos!" Obama yelled. "This is freedom!"

"Oh really?" Celestia said, now circling the gang. "What about the 300% increase in crime? Is that freedom?"

"Did you…" Obama reeled. "Don't tell me… you bribed the underworld to commit more crimes while you were gone!?"

"Like I would need to!" Celestia laughed. "And risk someone leaking my plan? I don't think so." She smiled. "With me gone, of course there would be more crime! I'm all they have to fear! I thought you would go to some effort to hide my death, but no, you just had to announce it to everyone."

Celestia stopped, and Rainbow Dash spotted her chance. She started to sneak towards a candle stand.

"Any more questions?"

Rainbow Dash grabbed it in her mouth.

"I'm sure you're all wondering what I'm going to do with you."

She slowly creeped up on Celestia.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill any of you. The fact that you got as far as you did proves you're very powerful. And I like power."

She lifted it up. "AAARGH!"

Celestia lifted a hoof and flattened Rainbow Dash against a window.

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack yelled.

"Don't worry, it's just a flesh wound. Oh, and did I mention I use 70% of my power to raise and lower the sun? After resting for two years, I'd say that makes me at least twice as powerful than the last time we fought. You know. When you didn't defeat me. So I would advise against trying anything."

"Why didn't you just take care of us then, instead of playing these mind games with us?" Applejack said.

"Well, for one, I like mind games," Celestia said, "and after a while, I just started feeling sorry for you all. You went to so much effort to kill me. I figured you should get something for it. And if I came back after being defeated, that would only strengthen my position."

Luna coughed. 

"Oh, and Pinkie Pie scares the living shit out of me."

"What?" Twilight said. "You know what she is?"

"No, and that's part of it," Celestia said. "She just came out of my oven one day. No idea how or why. She's immortal, but not like me. Not like me at all." She turned to Pinkie Pie. "Which brings me to my first order of business. Pinkie Pie, do what you please. Just stay the buck away from me. And try not to mess up space-time too much, okay?"

"Okey-dokey-loki!" Pinkie Pie said, and phased through a wall.

Celestia sighed in relief and faced the group again. "Fluttershy…"

The group immediately jumped to her defense.

"She never did anything wrong!" Twilight yelled. "…well, she might have raped me that one time, but she was just helping us because we forced her!"

Celestia waited to continue her sentence. "…I would like to thank you for your assistance in discovering and dealing with this insurrection."

Twilight turned to Fluttershy. "What?"

"You were the mole?" Rainbow Dash said.

Fluttershy nodded, not willing to give Gummy the satisfaction.

"We've been quite close since we realized our common interest in pain," Celestia said. "Fluttershy, I believe you expressed an interest in employing Rainbow Dash at your Rainbow Factory?"

Fluttershy nodded.

"Take her."

"Wait," Rainbow Dash said, "I don't understand. You aren't punishing me? I wanted to work at the Rainbow Factory!"

Fluttershy asked Rainbow Dash if she knew what rainbows were made of.

"Uh, I don't know," Rainbow Dash said, scratching her head. "It's spicy, so… salsa or something?"

Fluttershy grinned a grotesque grin and spoke out loud for the first time in front of the group. "CHILDREN."

Rainbow Dash gaped. She believed her. "No. No, I'm not. Fluttershy, you—"

Celestia grinned. "Employ any measures you feel necessary to get her to work for you."

Fluttershy brandished a pocket knife and started to pull Rainbow Dash out of the room.

"NO! NO, I WON'T!" Rainbow Dash screamed. "FLUTTERSHY! LISTEN, I—"

The door slammed shut.

Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Obama were left.

"Applejack."

"Do your worst," Applejack said.

"Why were you part of this again?"

Applejack glared. "You want to know why?" she said. She turned to Obama. "You know why. He showed me the truth. He showed me that you were the one that killed my parents!"

"And what was his proof?"

"A secret document," Applejack said. "He had his suspicions, so he searched the vault."

"Now ask yourself: why would I do that?"

"I don't know, you just got bored or something and figured you needed to kill someone?"

"No, why would I have a document for that? Why would I leave behind that kind of evidence in plain sight when I knew I was dealing with one of the Elements of Harmony?"

"I… I don't know."

"I will admit I do get bored once in a while. And sometimes I do kill things. Yes, there, I said it. But trust me, when I do, I never document it, and I never put it in the vault."

"Why should I trust you?"

"Why should you trust him? Ask him. Ask him if he forged that document."

Applejack turned to Obama. "Come on, she's just making up stuff, isn't she?"

Obama stared.

Applejack started to look worried. "Right?"

"It was necessary…"

"What?"

Obama looked at Applejack. "If I couldn't get you on board, no one else would've…"

"What?"

"I had to do it," Obama said. "I had to do it to guarantee freedom for everyone!"

"You used me!?"

"Have you seen what we've accomplished!? It was worth it! It was worth it for freedom!"

Applejack fumed and looked up at Celestia. "Hey," she said. "You want to punish him, right? Let me have him. I've got—"

"No."

Applejack stepped back. "What?"

"What, do you think I'm going to go easy on him?" Celestia said.

Applejack thought about it. She stopped.

"Since you technically had a good reason," Celestia said, "I feel like going a bit easier on you. You and the rest of the Apple family can no longer have the land I gave you, but feel free to try starting a different business."

Applejack grit her teeth. "All right," she said. "Thanks, your majesty."

She left.

"Rarity."

"Y-yes?" Rarity replied.

"Did you actually do anything in this?"

"I provided moral support."

"…"

"I distracted a couple guards while they were storming the castle."

"…"

Rarity looked down in shame. "…no."

"You may leave."

Rarity left, confused.

Only Twilight and Obama were left.

Celestia folded her hooves together. "And now we get to the fun part. You two were the ones who actually had the idea for this."

Twilight looked down.

"I thought you trusted me, my faithful student. Although, if you said you were also swayed by this man here, I might be a little more lenient…"

Twilight gulped. "No," she said. "It was my decision. I was having my own doubts."

Celestia paused. "I see."

Twilight fiddled with her hooves.

"I have something special in mind for you."

Twilight shivered. "Will it… hurt?"

"Physically, no," Celestia said. "Physically, you won't have to worry about pain for a very long time." 

Celestia was being awfully specific and that worried Twilight.

"For one, Fluttershy will be busy with Rainbow Dash for the foreseeable future." 

"What?"

Celestia smiled. "She was always my best torturer."

Twilight paused. "What?" she said. "For how long?"

"For just the last five years, but she more than made up for it in ability."

Twilight stared, gaping. "That can't be right. What's… what's wrong with this world?" she said. "Is this all because of the humans?"

"Who knows? I'm not complaining," Celestia said. She looked at Obama. "Now wait for me in my quarters. I need to have a word with the human."

Twilight left.

"I did only what I thought was necessary," Obama said. "You have to understand, I—"

"Don't worry. I just have one question."

Obama looked up. "Name it," he said.

"Do you like bananas?"