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// Vacuum Cleaner Comes with Mouth Attachment 
// Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau 
// by The Read Later List 
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Vacuum Cleaner Comes with Mouth Attachment

Ponyville, Equestria- This Tuesday, stallions across Equestria are lining up outside Utilico outlets to purchase the new X-500 vacuum, which comes with an assortment of new features, such as a screw on mouth.  

"Yeah, I'm pretty excited for the new vacuum," says repeated Utilico customer, New Dawn.  "This new mouth attachment will really help pick up dirt in those "hard to reach places".  The models they have made already are great and all, but this new vacuum is said to give the most realistic vacuuming experience ever."

"We asked our customers what they most wanted out of our product," says  the CEO of Utilico, Dirt Suck.  "After a survey of over 300 anonymous customers, the results were unanimous; a pair of bright red lips.  We have no clue as to why our customers would want something like this, but we are happy to work so closely with our fans to produce a product that everyone can enjoy."

The X-500 is expected to hit record sales, having already broken every pre-order record in home appliance history.  Utilico, however, is already planning it's next vacuum which comes with a small television screen only capable of accessing pornographic content.

"It will make every housewife so uncomfortable, they will finish vacuuming faster than ever... I think."