//------------------------------// // Confessions of the Lovesick // Story: So Buckin' Shy // by FlutterJack //------------------------------// Big Macintosh lay in his own bed, in his own room, in his own house and he's never felt so lonely. He gazed at a bookshelf in the corner of his room. His green eyes scanned the book titles. 'Beauty and the Changeling', Romeo and Juliet', 'Snow White and the Seven Equines'. All stories he used to read to Applejack, stories he still reads to Applebloom, and stories that all ended with a happy couple. 'Why couldn't my own relationship end up like theirs?' He thought and sighed. A knock came on his bedroom door, it was his sister, Applejack. "Big Mac?" Her orange hoof pushed open the door and Big Mac lifted himself up from the upside down position he had been laying in. "Are you okay?" Applejack sat next to Big Macintosh on the bed. He sighed and spoke. "Yep." Applejack made a face that said 'really?'. "No, you're not, Big Mac." He nodded and brushed the bed covers with one hoof. "You want Fluttershy here with you, don't cha?" He nodded again. "Why don't you go and talk to her? I'm sure she'd listen." "Naw, she wouldn't want to see me." "And why the hay not?" "I just don't think she would." "Well, maybe, I should go talk to 'er." "Applejack, don't." Big Mac looked at his sister. "She don't want nothin' to do with me. I'm...I'm too clingy or somethin'." Applejack hugged her brother from the back. "It'll be fine, Big Mac. She just need a little talkin' to." "Aj, I know you want to help, but please. Leave Fluttershy alone. She says it wouldn't work and...maybe she's right." Big Mac felt the urge to cry again. Sweet Celestia, it hurt so much, rejection. "Look, just promise me you won't go to Fluttershy's." "Okay, Big Mac." She patted his back with a hoof. "I won't go to Fluttershy's." Applejack promised. "Alright." He lay down again and Applejack lay beside him, trying to comfort her older brother. From the doorway, Applebloom had been listening and heard everything. She turned and walked away from the door quietly. "Poor Big Mac." She thought as she walked down to the kitchen and made herself a cup of cider. She sat down and sipped her cider, thinking, until she finally came up with a plan. Applebloom rushed from the Apple property to find the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders. Once the filly had gathered Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, the three made their way to Fluttershy's cottage and Applebloom told them about her plan. Scootaloo had been the one to knock on the door, and it was a full minute before Fluttershy opened it. "Yes?" "Fluttershy, can we talk to you?" Applebloom asked. "Um...okay. Come in if you want." The yellow pegasus opened the door further and allowed the three fillies to enter her home. "Thanks." Sweetie Belle mentioned as they entered. The three asked Fluttershy to sit on the same sofa that her and Mac shared that one day. The mare prodded a pillow near her, it seemed like so long ago. "Fluttershy, you have to come and see my brother." Applebloom said. Fluttershy looked up. "Oh, no...we're over." There was awkward silence. "He's not over you." Sweetie Belle piped up. Fluttershy looked at the floor. "I can tell that you aren't over him." Scootaloo said. "No, I'm not, but I'm afraid it wouldn't work, girls. It's complicated." "Then tell us, mare to mare." Sweetie Belle thought for a moment. "Mares." Fluttershy sighed. "Alright." She began to tell the story of her and Big Mac. How he treated her and the way he's "polite and charming and so much like a gentlecolt." "Then why did you two call it off?" Applebloom asked. "It sounds like a fairy tale!" "That's...also complicated." "Fluttershy c'mon, Big Macintosh really likes you." Applebloom put a hoof on Fluttershy's own. "Please, just talk to 'im." Fluttershy thought for a moment and sighed. She really loved Big Mac, but she didn't want to hurt him. Then on the other hoof, she was dying to see him again. Her heart won out. "Okay. Take me to him." The Cutie Mark Crusaders beamed. Fluttershy allowed the three fillies to walk her to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was in the barn and didn't see the four ponies enter the property. Granny Smith nodded to Fluttershy as she passed by, the old mare already knew why Fluttershy was there. Big Mac had told Granny Smith everything since the beginning and she promoted her grandson's love for the shy mare. Applebloom led Fluttershy, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo up to Big Mac's room. She tossed her head toward the door and Fluttershy approached it. With a intake of air, Fluttershy pushed open the wooden door and spoke. "Hello?" Big Mac lifted his head to look at the door. He sat up fast when he saw that it was Fluttershy. "Hey." He stared at the mare as she approached his bed. "You mind if I sit here?" "Why did you come?" Fluttershy didn't answer and Big Mac turned the opposite direction. "Aj, sent ya, didn't she?" Fluttershy was quiet again. "No....she didn't." "Then why did you come?" "Big Mac...I....miss you." Fluttershy walked around to face Big Mac. "And....I love you." "I know," He replied, looking a different direction. "but that is exactly what you said before you left. You said it was over...." "I know....and I was wrong," Fluttershy spoke quietly and calmly although her body trembled with nervousness. "Please, just look at me! I'm sorry, Big Mac! Please!" Her voice had risen to a squeaky plea. With a trembling lip, Macintosh looked at Fluttershy, his green eyes welling up again. "Fluttershy, you said....you said that it'd never work." "Big Mac, I meant....I just..." Fluttershy looked into the green orbs before her and started crying. "I'm sorry." She kissed him, her yellow lips trembling against his, but she refused to leave their warm embrace, Fluttershy had pushed him backwards with the kiss. Mac had to break the moment. The two stared into each other's eyes, their breathing was the only sound in the room. "I love you, Big Mac, I love you....just...so much." Mac said nothing. "I understand your silence." Fluttershy said quietly. "It's just like before, except it's not me." Mac remained silent. "I'm sorry." Fluttershy let the stallion up and left his room. Mac couldn't say anything as his love disappeared from his sight and as her tail left his vision, he looked at his hooves and shook his head. The three fillies who had been listening in, followed Fluttershy as she left and noticing her expression, remained quiet although they were dying to ask about Big Mac and their relationship. "You girls go play, I'll be okay." Fluttershy told the fillies. "Okay, Fluttershy. Feel better, though." Sweetie Belle said. "I will." The pegasus watched as the schoolfillies ran off. Then she lowered her head and began the long walk home.