//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 // Story: Celestia's Hangover // by Aryn240 //------------------------------// Chapter 5 “Two colts really ran in here?” “According to that beautiful stallion currently residing in your bed, yes. Shall we go in?” Celestia sighed. “I don’t know. Can’t we just let them be lost? Or eaten? I’m not in the mood to go traipsing around in the dark.” Luna took a step inside. Then another. “Yes, I’m sure the parents of these colts would be just thrilled to hear that the ruling Princess of Equestria let their progeny die because she had better things to do. Come on, Sister.” The Princess of the Sun took a step after her. “But there are miles of caves down there! And we’ve got the Gala to put back into motion! Not to mention the sun!” The darker alicorn’s voice echoed back. “Here’s some tracks. No, wait, these are from that musical number awhile back... here’s a bouquet... ah! Two sets of small colt tracks.” Celestia still stood mostly in the entrance. “Isn’t there some sort of... feral tribe down there? Or something?” “Aren’t those just old pony tales?” “Well, have you been down there?” Celestia had lost sight of Luna, but she could hear the smile in her voice. “...Are you scared, Sister?” *** *** *** “Vinyl...” “Ya huh?” “Where are we going?” “The kitchens, silly. Don’t you want breakfast?” “I thought we were going to find my-” “Well, I can’t search on an empty stomach.” Octavia sighed and fell silent. The two were descending a flight of stairs (for what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning), heading towards the center of the castle. Vinyl was navigating by sense of smell alone, which, oddly, was more accurate than she had been with the map. The kitchens were somewhere beneath the main hall. They arrived at another hallway, and Vinyl stopped. “Listen! Do you hear that?” “What, Vinyl?” “Shhh!” From nearby came a ‘hmph’-ing sound over and over again. It got louder as they moved down the hall. The DJ glanced in all directions before creeping slowly towards a door to their right. Octavia held her breath. With her magic, Vinyl pushed the door open a fraction. They peered through. “...HMPH!” A white unicorn stallion with a blond mane and blue eyes sat the far end of one of the tables in a dining hall. He was tapping his hooves on the table with each ‘hmph’. Octavia whispered, “Should we say something?” Vinyl nodded. “I can’t smell out breakfast with that noise.” “Wait, Vinyl, you can’t... What?” It was too late. Scratch had already pushed the door all the way open and was trotting across the room to the stallion. He saw her coming and stuck his nose in the air. “It’s about time. If I had been waiting any longer I’d have lodged a very serious complaint with Auntie. I’ve been here five minutes already! Although I must say, you are dressed ridiculously for your job. Those garish glasses? I may speak with Auntie anyway.” Vinyl was so confused she let the crack about her shades slip by. “Huh?” “Aren’t you my waitress?” “Not last time I checked. Aren’t you the moron who keeps making little ‘hmph’ noises?” His mouth dropped open. “What did you call me?” “Are you deaf, too? Stop ‘hmph’ing.” “How else am I going to get breakfast?” “Go find it. Who the buck are you, anyway?” The stallion stood up and drew himself up to his full height. “I, ignorant wench, am Prince Blueblood, nephew to Celestia herself, and I will not go ‘find it myself’. I expect the servant to bring it, just like every morning.” Vinyl shook her head. “Well, nopony’s coming, moron. So stop making that noise. It sounds as stupid as you look.” Blueblood ‘hmph’ed again, and caught sight of Octavia crossing the room towards them. “Might I speak to the lovely mare behind you? She looks to be civil and refined, or at least more so than you. Miss?” The ‘lovely mare’ lunged forward to stop Vinyl attacking the stallion, who backed up a few steps with one more ‘hmph’. Octavia glanced at Blueblood, then disregarded him. “Come, Vinyl. We really should find out what transpired last night. Ignore him.” The two trotted out of the room with the Prince gibbering behind them. *** *** *** Across the castle, in a small room devoid of windows, another duo was waking up. One was orange, tall, and clumsy, and the other was light blue, short, and excitable. The short one sat up first, knocking his head on a shelf above him. “Ow! Where- where are we?” The tall orange one stirred in his sleep and rolled over, mumbling, “Not yet, I want to ride the pony...” The first one gave him an odd look and then shook his head, rubbing his horn with a hoof. He crawled out from beneath the shelf and stood up to his full height, stretching his wings. They were a bit cramped by the size of the broom closet they were in, but he managed it. He looked down at the orange one. “Hey. Hey Snails.” He poked him with the tip of a hoof. “Wake up, c’mon!” Snails yawned and opened his eyes, gazing around tiredly before stretching. He got to his hooves, narrowly avoiding a different shelf. He was a bit too tall, and his fully extended wings didn’t fit well in the broom closet. “Hey, Snips?” “Yeah?” “Why are we in a broom closet?” “Well, because- huh.” Snips scratched his head with a forehoof. “I dunno.” “Uh, do you remember what happened last night?” “Uhhh... no.” “Well, uhhh... Can we at least, uh, go outside so I can stretch my wings? It’s too cramped in here.” “Okay.” The two opened the door and exited the tiny room, emerging into a sunlight corridor lined with stain glass windows. Snails used the extra space to extend his wings to their full length. “That’s better. I don’t remember my wings ever being so tight.” “Me neither. They feel almost like I’ve never even had-” The two stopped at the same time, eyes bulging out of their sockets. They turned to look at each other. “Snips?” “Uh... yeah?” “Why do we have wings?” “Uh...” *** *** *** “No, Blueballs! We’re not gonna get you breakfast! Stop following us!” “It’s Blueblood, wench! And with an accent like that, I can hardly believe that you’re a distinguished guest.” “Well, believe it. We just saw your Auntie this morning, and boy, was she hungover.” The stallion drew back in alarm. “What? My Auntie Celestia touch alcohol? Now I know you’re nothing but an unwashed peasant. She would never!” Octavia and Vinyl exchanged glances. The trio were following Vinyl’s nose further into the castle. The mares were walking side by side, with Blueblood trailing behind them complaining. “How often do you see the Princess, anyway?” the cellist asked. “Well, Auntie is very, very busy with her duties whenever I try to see her, of course, but I understand. I live here in the castle, you know. Very refined, very-” “So, the last you saw her would be, to your best estimation...?” Blueblood took a moment before answering. “Well... perhaps a month or so ago, I passed her in a hallway.” “I assumed as much.” “Now, you listen here, Miss, just what are you-” Vinyl abruptly stopped in front of a door on their left, causing Blueblood to run into her. “Here we are! Food!” The prince recoiled from the collision, and gave yet another hmph before striding forward. With his nose up in the air, he said “Well, I suppose I have to thank you for your help in finding me my breakfast. Open the door for me.” Octavia opened her mouth to deliver a cutting reply, but Vinyl spoke first. With a smile, she said, “Sure thing, Blueboats.” Her horn began to glow. The stallion got as far as “It’s-” before the oaken door flew open, catching him right on the chin and knocking him backwards onto the floor. Vinyl pulled her shades down and winked, mouthing ‘accident’ at Octavia before stepping through the entryway. Octavia glanced down at the now-groaning unicorn, smiling her sweetest smile. She leaned in close. “That’s my fillyfriend. And if you ever have the unmitigated bad taste to treat her as such again, I’m going to make sure that next time something your ‘Auntie’ knows about it, right after I shove my cello down your throat.” She tossed her mane before adding, “You’re lucky Vinyl’s nicer than I can be. In fact, you’re lucky I’m starting to get over this hangover.” She pulled the pair of sunglasses she had been wearing off her face and tossed them next to him. The cellist stepped through the door, closing it behind her. The prince lay where he was for a moment longer, trying to get the world to stop spinning. After a moment, he heard voices. First, from the grey earth pony who had looked nice but had been so very mean: “Oh, Bonbon, when did you get here? Lovely to see you.” And on the tail of that, from the wild, uncivilized white unicorn: “Why the buck aren’t you hungover, too?” The last thing he heard before sinking into brief unconsciousness was a very exasperated “Vinyl, you can’t simply ask why a pony is not hungover...” *** *** *** Miles below them, the royal sisters had just penetrated some of the deeper caverns under Canterlot. Most of the going had been easy, and, with the help of a simple illumination spell, they had followed the tracks of the two colts without trouble. Luna had disappeared a few times and reappeared, which, on a normal day, would have given Celestia more cause to worry. As it was, she couldn’t keep her mind off the sun long enough to care. The last time that a major buck-up like this had happened, she had had to do some serious schmoozing, along with spending a few unpleasant nights with the leader of the resistance movement in order to stop- “Sister! This way!” Luna’s voice echoed loudly back at Celestia, who braced for the spike in her head, but it didn’t come. Maybe it was the darkness of the cavern, or its silence, but the pounding in her head had retreated to a dull ache for the time being.  She moved towards the source of light up ahead, which she took to be Luna’s horn giving off its glow. “Where are you?” “Well, we’ve nearly found the end of the tracks.” “And? What’s there?” Luna took a second before answering. “...Them.” *** *** *** ***Author’s note: So... hi again. Aryn here. I owe you guys and girls a big apology for such a HUGE hiatus. Cade emailed me many months ago asking me to take over the story for awhile, as he was getting overwhelmed with work. I said that was fine, and then the same thing happened to me. I have had no time to write or even read any fanfiction for a looonnggg time. Anyway, my lame excuses aside, I’m just now getting back to writing. I can’t promise perfect, on-time updates, but I will promise you guys no more months of waiting. Again, I’m really sorry, and hope you guys will keep reading. One more thing: I actually recieved a few complaints that the characters were ‘non canonical’. Guys, this is a comedy fic. You can expect it to be crazy, ridiculous, funny, and nonsensical. But if you’re looking for Celestia to be the regal Princess of few words she is on the show, you might be in the wrong place... I’m sorry. Anyway, I do hope most of you will keep reading, and maybe Cade will see this and get back to writing with me. I really enjoyed the collab we had going for awhile there! Aryn240