My Little Pirates: Luffy's Adventures in Equestria

by Fullmetal Pony


Descent! Enter Tartarus, the World's Jail!

        “Why?” Luffy slammed a hoof onto the floor, sending up bits of broken stone into the air. His nostrils fumed as he lunged forward and stuck his face into Celestia’s. “Why are they executing him sooner?”

        Celestia replied by creating a block of magical aura between herself and Luffy. “Calm yourself Straw Hat. We must let cool heads prevail in this situation... we’ve seen where my rashness got us.”

        Luffy’s breathing slowed and he plopped himself onto the ground. “Okay.”

        The aura Celestia had created disappeared but her horn continued glowing. The letter at her side flew over to Luffy and Luna so that they could read it. “Whitebeard has made his move. The Marines are withholding the full story from me, but regardless, Whitebeard has done something to accelerate Fire Fist’s execution.”

Luffy swatted the letter away and stared straight at Celestia. “That’s why we have to save him!”

Celestia closed her eyes, sighed, and opened them again. “I agree. The time to act is now. Straw Hat, ready yourself. I know Tartarus’s security well and it will not be an easy task freeing your brother. We’ll be under constant surveillance, so I’ll need to put a good part of the guard’s focus on myself. Therefore...”

~~~

        “You’re really going?” Pinkie contorted herself so that her head was upside and pointing towards Luffy’s chin. “We didn’t even get to go to Pony Joe’s!”

        Luffy shrugged at Pinkie’s inconvenience. “Eh, we’ll go that after I save Ace.”

        Pinkie’s head twirled back to it’s upright position. A wide grin replaced the frown on Pinkie’s face. “Oki-doki-loki!”

        Fluttershy uneasily shuffled her legs and kept her eyes to the ground. “Oh... please... be careful. I... I know you can save your brother... you rock... woohoo.”

        “Ah just wish we could come help,” said Applejack. She glanced back to her friends and shifted her hat down over her face. “Guess that would ruin the whole ‘sneak in’ thing.”

        “I bet we could work it out!” Dash exclaimed. It’d taken some royal influence, but she’d managed to get out of the hospital in a wheelchair to see Luffy off. She winced a little when a breeze blew against her but tried to keep her face optimistic. “We’d go in, smack some guards around, and get out in no time!”

        “Dash,” Twilight interrupted, “we can’t even get in without Princess Celestia to open the gate. You saw how roughed up I got from just getting to that point.” She brought her attention back to Luffy. “You’re a different story though, but I still wish we could help in some way.”

        “How about you make a giant feast for me sometime?” Luffy said with a grin.

        “Does food ever not cross his mind?” Rarity muttered.

        “Straw Hat,” Celestia called out. Luffy and the rest of the ponies turned around to see Celestia land on the balcony they had been asked to wait on. With an air of grace, Celestia landed beside them, sending up a small gust of wind. “Are you ready?”

        “Yep!” Luffy patted his stomach. “I ate a lot, so I’m good to save Ace.”

        “If only you could save him with just your appetite.” Celestia raised up a hoof and pointed to her back. “Climb on, I shall transport you over to Tartarus.”

        “You’re not taking the royal chariot?” asked Twilight.

        Celestia swung her head back and forth. “Not for this. Nopony need see what lies beyond the gate. It will take some time to get there even at my speed though, so we must leave now.”

        Luffy nodded, trotted over to Celestia, and began to clamber onto her back. When he was halfway up, a voice rang through the air. “Wait!”

        Luna galloped onto the balcony, her breath slightly strained and a few drops of sweat coming down her face. She ran up to Celestia and stuck her hoof out in Luffy’s direction. At the end of her hoof dangled a black circle that glistened in the morning sun. In the middle of the fabric sat a large spherical purple jewel. “I... wanted to give... you this... for good luck!”

        “Sweet! Treasure!” Luffy happily took the trinket and snugly attached it to his right foreleg. He brought his face close to it to admire the jewel in the middle.

        While Luffy was doing that, Luna bent her head to left to whisper to Celestia. “You are certain you can do this alone?” She glanced up to Celestia’s mane, which still had a good deal of pink in it. “You are not yet fully recovered.”

        “I am recovered enough,” Celestia whispered back. “If things go according to plan, I will have no need to fight.”

        Luna said nothing for a moment and then bowed away. “Very well sister. I wish you and Straw Hat the best of luck.”

        “Thank you Luna.” Celestia bent her head to the sky and unfurled her wings. She glanced back to make sure Luffy was securely on her back. When she was sure he was holding her tightly, she looked back to the sky. “To Tartarus.”

        Celestia was gone in a flash. Her leap off the ground blew back everypony else’s manes and knocked Fluttershy off-balance. When they had recovered, they stared into the sky for a sign of Celestia but found none.

“There she is!” Dash jabbed a hoof at a small white speck in the eastern sky. It could have easily been confused with a star that hadn’t yet faded into the blue morning. “I gotta learn how to do that!”

~~~

        The sun was high in the air when Celestia landed. Even at noon, the gate of Tartarus casted a great shadow on the land around it. To its left and right, monstrous mountains sealed off the rest of the land beyond the gate, creating a massive barrier.

        Luffy stumbled off Celestia and shook his head around. His mane was completely blown back from the flight and his lips and eyes were dry. “Ugh, that wasn’t fun after the first few minutes.”

“My apologies, but it did get us here.” Celestia lit up her horn and a bottle of water appeared at Luffy’s side. “Drink tha—”

Luffy loudly slurped the contents of the bottle and swallowed them in one gulp. The bottle fell the the ground and he contently smacked his lips. “Ah, that’s better!”

A low growl then rumbled from the bushes nearby. A large black paw emerged out of the foliage followed by its owner. It was an enormous beast the towered over even Celestia. Its three heads bared sharp teeth while slobber ran down its jowls. Its middle head growled again and let loose a deafening bark.

“Cerberus!” Celestia called out. She stormed over to the giant dog and glared up at its middle head. “Down!”

All three of Cerberus’s head tilted to the left and gave Celestia a confused look. It then bent its legs and pressed its stomach to the ground. The head on the right let its tongue drape over its jaws and panted a little while its right hind leg thumped against the ground.

Celestia reached out and massaged her hoof against the right head, scratching behind its ears. “At least one of you still remembers how to behave.”

“Cool!” Luffy strode over to Cerberus and looked at the beast from different angles. The left head growled at him, the middle head stayed silent, and the right head wagged its tongue. “So is he like your pet or something?”

“Cerberi have always been native to the land around Tartarus.” Celestia moved her hoof back and scratched Cerberus’s right side. The right and middle heads gave a howl of delight. “Whenever the old guard dog passes on, I select a new one. It’s not an easy job though. Cerberi are pack animals by nature and guarding Tartarus is a lonely job, so I do my utmost to treat my selected cerberus with the utmost care.”

Celestia withdrew her hoof for Cerberus’s side and frowned. “I have not done well with this one. With all the recent troubles that have beset Equestria, I have sometimes forgotten to care for him. Even after his foray into Ponyville, I still didn’t give him the proper attention he deserved... when I return I will have to rectify that.”

“So you’re saying you’re a bad pet owner?” Luffy asked while he somehow managed to scratch the middle head’s ears.

Celestia sighed and shifted her shoulders down. “I suppose you could say that, but Cerberus is the least of our issues. As long as ponies are with me, he will not harm them. The creatures on the other side of the gate are a different story.”

Celestia then beckoned Luffy over to her. “Now that you’ve stretched, please get on me again.”

“Got it.” Luffy trotted over and clambered onto Celestia’s back.

“Now stay still for a moment.” Aura enshrouded Celestia’s horn and then flowed from it over to Luffy. A tingly feeling washed over him as the aura enveloped his body. When the aura fully covered him, it faded but the tingly feeling remained. “There, you’ll be undetectable as long as you are touching me... or until they do a magic scan, but we shall deal with that when the time comes. Remember, we will be watched, so remain silent.”

Celestia said no more words and made her way over to the looming gate. She wandered over to the left until she came to a section of the gate that was as grey and hard as the rest of it. She raised her hoof and struck the gate in six separate places. The hits echoed for a moment and were followed by the rough sound of metal grating on metal.

A small square section of the gate split in half and parted, revealing a small cubical indent. Inside the indent rested a snail-like creature. Its eyes were closed and drooped down and a grey shaggy beard covered its face. Celestia blew the dust off the old creature and picked up the receiver attached to its back with her magic. “This is Warlord Celestia. By my title as one of the Seven Warlords and regent of Equestria, I command you to open the gate.”

A hushed silence fell across the area. Behind Celestia, Cerberus raised its three heads, its ears perked up in attention. Then came a great rumbling. Cerberus ran in all directions, barking its heads off while the gate screamed open. Its hinges groaned until a small split appeared in the middle of the gate.

It was silent once more when the gate stopped moving. A new sound then filled the air. It was a soft sound, but one that made Luff bend his head. It had only been a couple of days, but the noise lit a fire in his heart.

As Celestia made her way over to the gap in the gate, a smell joined the sound. Under his invisibility, Luffy smiled. The air became moist and the sound and smell grew more powerful. Ahead of Celestia and Luffy stretched a long bridge the jutted out into the source of Luffy’s happiness. When Celestia took her first step onto the bridge, Luffy looked down. He felt like he hadn’t see the sea in a long time and the waves seemed to reach up and grab him.

Celestia quickly made her way across the bridge to its other end. The area beyond the gate was thick with fog, so it had been difficult to make out the end before, but now Luffy could clearly make out the small arch, the dock, and the galleon that made up the end of the bridge.

The gate had conjured up memories, but now the full sight of the bridge caused them to flash before Luffy’s eyes. Last time he’d been on this bridge, it was being bombarded from all sides and he couldn’t even move. He’d have had to go to Tartarus to save Robin if they hadn’t gotten her at the bridge.

Celestia trotted through the arch and down the stairs to the dock. At the foot of the stairs, a pony was waiting. His coat was grey and his mane was a light brown and cut so that only the middle part of it remained and a piece of twine kept it in a ponytail. A long sharp moustache that matched his piercing eyes drooped down over the sides of his mouth.

A large white jacket with flat blue shoulder-pads rested on his back. The jacket was long enough to drape over the rest of his body and covered him from his shoulders to his tail. However, the scabbard of a sword poked out two ends of it, lancing over the pony’s back. When Celestia was at the bottom of the stairs, he did a small bow to her. “Warlord Celestia, it is an honor to escort you to Marineford. I am Vice-Admiral Momonga of the Marines.”

Celestia returned the bow with one of her own. “I see. However, it is not to Marineford that I immediately wish to go. We shall be making a detour to Tartarus.”

“You’re referring to Impel Down, correct?” If Momonga had been surprised by the request, it didn’t show in his face. He kept his voice rough and his eyes straight at Celestia’s. “My apologies, but we are needed at Marineford as soon as possible. Whitebeard i—”

“May very well attack Tartarus itself if he wishes to,” Celestia finished. “You and I both know he has the power to do so. Since that is the case, what is the harm in having a warlord provide some temporary extra security? Do not worry about how long I wish to stay in Tartarus. I only desire to see Fire Fist for a brief moment. I want to tell him the chaos he’s brought about and let it weigh heavy on him at the gallows.”

“I see...” Momonga rubbed his chin with a hoof and rolled Celestia’s request around in his head for a moment. “Very well. My orders were merely to escort you to Marineford. As long as it does not heavily interfere with our arrival, it should be possible. Heaven willing, Whitebeard won’t show his face yet either.”

Momonga turned and led Celestia over to the pair of retractable steps that went up to the galleon. The ship itself was no wonder save for its large size. Its sails prominently displayed the sigil of the World Government. All around the ship, ponies were lazing about, all of them adorned with blue neckerchiefs and some of them with white hats that displayed the symbol of the Marines.

Momonga slammed a hoof to the deck and all the ponies came to attention. “Men! We’re casting off! Get to your positions and prepare to sail to underwater gaol, Impel Down!”

“Sir, yes sir!” they all resolutely shouted. The deck came alive as ponies ran back and forth. Ropes were unslipped or tightened, sails pulled up or down, oars placed into position, and ponies went to their stations.

Amidst the bustling yet orderly commotion, Momonga gave a small smirk at Celestia. “Truth be told, we were all getting impatient waiting for you, but it gave a chance for the greenhorns to get used to the hooves.”

Celestia blinked in surprise. “These are new recruits? I thought you had to at least be a lieutenant to get Equestria clearance.”

“They’re not fully new recruits, but they’re green with more sensitive matters like Equestria,” Momonga replied, his expression darkening slightly. “Practically every able bodied Marines has been summoned to Marineford. I’m only here because an high-level escort was requested for you. ”

More likely a guard to make sure I kept my agreement. Celestia gave Momonga a small smile at his words. “It is good to see that the Marines value my life so much. I can only hope to have such protection should war break out.”

“If it does come to that, it won’t be just your life on the line,” Momonga grimaced. “The whole world is at stake. Damn that Whitebeard.”

~~~

        The ship plowed through the foggy waters at swift pace. Celestia stood at the bow of the boat looking off into the distance. Occasionally, a few of the sailors would glance in her direction but quickly went back to their work whenever she made the slightest movement. They continued whispering about her and other things while they toiled away.

        When the sun began to dip into the western sky, a shadow appeared in front of the ship. It was a single black line in the sea of fog that grew and grew, becoming more and more clear. Shadow gave way to grey stone that curved around to form a circle. A few thinner towers poked out from the center of the stones.

        Directly in front of the ship, the stone circle was broken by a massive grated iron gate. Through the gate, one could make out that the towers actually had a base in a thicker tower. There was also a gap of water between the main tower and the thick stone wall that formed the outer circle.

        The ship pulled up to the dock that jutted out in front of the gate and laid anchor. The steps were lowered and Momonga disembarked. Celestia followed close behind. He turned back to glance at her. “I took the liberty of informing the guards that we’d be coming. Even when I told them who was with us, they were quite adamant about following procedure.”

        Celestia noted the guard at the gate but kept her face a stoney neutral. “I understand. I’d have no less with my own guard. They are responsible for locking away the world’s worst criminals after all.”

        “You do us too much service princess!” the guard at the gate called out. He left his post and ran up to greet them. He was larger than an average pony, but still smaller than Celestia. Save for his orange coat and his green and yellow striped nemes, he appeared to be a normal, albeit large, ram with large coiled horns under his hat. He lifted a cloven hoof and gave a salute. “Warden Hannyabal at your service!”

        He stood still in salute for a moment before loudly gasping and flailing his legs around. “Ack! I meant vice-warden!”

        “I was told the warden was going to meet us,” said Momonga in a gruff tone.

        “He was, but then he got diarr— I mean, the warden had serious business to attend to!” Hannyabal hastily replied. He then wildly gestured his hooves over to the gate which was opened enough to allow ponies through.  “Er, uh, please, let me show you inside. We just have a quick inspection set up before we can go to the lower levels.”
        “Of course,” Celestia said cooly. She followed after Hannyabal while Momonga trailed behind them. They crossed over a bridge that led to the inner tower and through a great pair of wooden doors that dwarfed both of them.

        They slipped through a crack in the doors and entered the prison. The smell inside was like that of a damp cave. Luffy wrinkled his nose at it while Celestia didn’t change her expression. She did take a bit of a deeper breath to fully comprehend the scent. When she understood what the smell was, she almost twitched at it. It was faint among the stone and generally dank air, but the smell of death and rot was there as well.

        A pink unicorn mare with a bright blond mane partially covered by a black hat trotted over to Celestia and Hannyabal. She did a light bow and then looked up at Celestia. “Princess, if you’ll just come with me, we’ll get you examined and then you’ll be on your way.”

        A mischievous smile then crept onto the mare’s face. “Searching ponies with no clothes isn’t as fun, but I have always wondered if the legendary princess I’ve heard so much about feels like any other pony.”

A sweat drop slid down Hannyabal’s face. “Domino! Watch what you say! The princess is here as a guest, so don’t get any funny ideas!”

“Me? I’d never do such a thing,” Domino coyly replied. She spun around and went over to a nearby door. “This way, your highness.”

Celestia complied and went into the room. Domino shut the door and advanced over to Celestia. Her horn lit up and ring of rock floated between her and Celestia. “By prison regulation, all non-guards with horns must have a seastone damper adhered to their heads.”

“I suppose that is one thing I’m thankful to the World Government for finding. It makes taking care of unruly unicorns so much easier.” The damper floated closer to Celestia’s horn. Just as it was about to touch, Celestia said, “I’ve never had a damper put on before, but I’m sure it wil— Eep!”

In a split-second, Celestia lit up her horn, sent out a blinding flash, and Domino collapsed with her eyes shut. There was a shuck and a surveillance den-den mushi clanked the ground, unconscious. “It’s safe Straw Hat.”

Luffy lept off Celestia’s back, returning to visibility. He took note of Domino and the den-den mushi by the wall. “How long will they be out?”

“Long enough for you to start making your descent. There is just one more thing.”

“What?”

Celestia bore her eyes down on Luffy. “Promise me that you will not make a ruckus. You must not get caught lest you arise the guard’s suspicions.”

Luffy drew a hoof across his chest, snapped his wrist around, and poked himself in the eye while saying, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

“Good.” Celestia bent her head low and sighed. “This is where we part ways Straw Hat and my protection over you ends.”

“I’m off then.” Without another moment’s hesitation, Luffy galloped off to the door that Celestia hadn’t come in through and disappeared into the bowels of Impel Down.

Meanwhile, Celestia bent down and nuzzled Domino. Domino gave a soft moan. “Mhh... yeah... just a li—” Her eyes flew up and she let out a loud gasp. She scurried to her hooves, her face a deep red. “P-p-princess! I-I...”

“It is quite alright,” Celestia said with a false grin. “The fault is with me. It seems the damper had an adverse effect and caused my magic to spike. I hope neither you nor the den-den mushi were harmed.”

“N-no...” Domino’s gaze slid over to den-den mushi, which was also awake once more. Its eyes moved around the room, absorbing all the images in it. “I think it would be best that we not try the damper again.”

Celestia gave Domina a nod. “I agree. It would be catastrophic if my magic were to spike in the lower levels. I’d never be able to live with myself if my magic allowed a prisoner to escape!”

For an extra touch, Celestia loudly slammed her hoof to the ground. Domino jumped at the noise but quickly regained her posture. “Y-yes... I’ll take full responsibility if anything g-goes wrong.”

“Then shall we hurry on down to see our prisoner?”

“Yes...” Domino opened the door Luffy had already gone through and held it for Celestia. “Normally, we’d have to take the stairs, but given your status, we’ll be taking the elevator to meet the warden and then head further down.”

~~~

        Luffy had already put a good distance between himself and Celestia when he began to slow himself and keep a closer watch on the walls. He peeked his head around a corner and spotted the surveillance den-den mushi that covered this section of the prison. He crept under it, keeping himself close to the walls. However, the walls gave way to iron bars and Luffy was so focused on avoiding the snail that his leg slipped right between the bars. “Ack!”

        He withdrew his hoof and pressed himself against the nearby wall while the sound echoed throughout the long hall. Just when he was about ready to move again, a voice from within the cell called out to Luffy. “Y-you.”

        An old withered pony shuffled out into the light. Everything about him was dusty; his coat, his mane, and even his breath seemed to be made of dust. “H-how did y-you get out?”

        “Oh, I snuck in,” Luffy said with a grin.

        The old pony stared at him for a moment and then plopped himself down onto the ground of his cell. He caressed his head with his hooves and rocked back and forth. “Finally lost it... I knew this place would break me.”

        Luffy shrugged at the pony before nipping at his hat and pulling out a piece of burnt paper. He raised up his hoof and placed the paper on the flat of it. The paper then moved forward of its own accord. “Ace is that way.”

        Luffy rushed in the direction the vivre card was pointing. He passed more cells where prisoners gaped or jeered at him until he reached a stairwell. He took care to avoid being caught on surveillance and descended to the bottom only to be met with a large locked door. “Darn. I could smash it, but that’d make a noise... maybe I can break it just a li—”

“Hurry men!” a voice cried out from the top of the stairs. Hooves hitting stone followed after the voice. “We’ve got a devil fruit user and a magic user on the loose down there! We need them contained now!”

“Can’t the blugori handle it sir?” a different voice complained.

“One more moan like that and I’ll throw you into the Crimson Hell myself!” the first voice shouted back.

“Uh-oh!” Luffy hopped off the ground and wrapped his hooves around a stone archway above the door. Below him, a fleet of guards swarmed down the stairs and gathered by the door. One of the guards in the front dug his head into his saddlebags and pulled out a ring of keys. He picked out one metal key and jabbed into into the lock on the door.

When the door was open, the pony turned to the rest of his fellow guards and barked, “I want them found and properly shackled! I also want whoever’s head that thought that we didn’t have devil fruit and magic on our hands! Now move out!”

“Yes sir!” The guards raced through the door and into the next level of Impel Down.

Luffy smiled and hopped through just as the door was closing. “Heh, I’m pretty good at moving around here. Hope there isn’t another door.”

For a while, Luffy kept to the rafters of the level. Guards were all around the door and there were more den-den mushis here than on the first floor. After turning around a few corners, Luffy grabbed a rafter and allowed himself to stretch down to the ground.

On all fours again, he looked around and made sure there were no guards or obvious snails in sight. “Guess it’s safe he—”

A bloodcurdling scream assaulted Luffy’s ears, causing him to raise his front hooves to his head. “Ow! What the hell is that?”

Suddenly, two figures exploded from out of the corner. Closest to the wall was a mare with a light blue coat, a silvery-white mane, and a horn jutting out of her head. Further from the wall was a similar looking pony with a square muzzle that ended with a large red spherical growth. The stallion’s mane was a slightly deeper blue than his coat and wasn’t parted by a horn like the mare’s.

Just as the stallion rounded the corner, and ax came out of nowhere and cleaved him horizontally in two. The mare let out another shriek. However, the stallion’s legs kept running while his body floated in the air. His head detached from what was left off his torso and leered at the mare. “Will you stop screaming! You’ll have every damn guard on us you stupid horse!”

“Trixie just wants to go home!” the mare screamed back. “Trixie has done nothing wrong!”

“Shut up!” The stallion screamed. He was close enough to Luffy now that Luffy could make out the crossbones and red paint the streaked across his eyes. He’d also now managed to reattach  “If you’re here, you’re a criminal. So you better run or they’re gonna get you!”

A giant hand grasped the corner the two ponies had just rounded, cracking the stone. The beast the hand was attached to then lunged forward at the two ponies. It was a hulking figure with its head and upper torso covered in a white cloth. The cloth’s only marking was a skull and crossbones where the beast’s head should have been. The parts of its body not covered in cloth were instead covered in a deep blue fur. In its right hand it carried a massive battle-ax.

The beast threw the ax at a blinding speed and sliced the stallion in two, this time vertically. A dozen other similar beasts then joined it and gave chase to the ponies. Luffy followed the other pony’s example and ran in the opposite direction.

“Damn it!” the stallion cursed as he reassembled himself. “I was so close to getting out!”

“Huh... where have I seen that trick before?” Luffy wondered as he stared at the stallion and continued running.

“Shut up Straw Hat! I don’t have time to...” The stallion’s entire body then burst into pieces out of shock. His eyes literally popped out of his head and his jaw practically fell to the ground. “Straw Hat! Why are you here?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Luffy gave the stallion a smile. “Buggy! Took me a second to recognize you.”

“Oh great, a friend!” Trixie sarcastically yelled. “Does he get split in two and not die either?”

Buggy finished pulling himself back together, turned his head to Trixie, and snorted at her. “He is not my fri—” Another ax took his head clean off his shoulders. “Damn it!”