//------------------------------// // But we feel fine. (a valentine special) // Story: Screaming Eag...Pegasi! // by mineturtle //------------------------------// Prancin' about with heads full of lightbulbs! Scout could not believe what he his eyes he didn't want to say it no matter how much pride he had so he sucked in some air and began to say the two dreadful words that he hated to say. "Thank you." The scout felt like a part of his manliness had died. "Eh don't worry about it little girl. Now scram before yah get hurt by one ah dem tin cans" replied the drunken violet mare. She didn't know the scout was male he sure did scream like a girl. "Hey I ain't no dame. I'm as manly as as uhm I don't know but I am a man." "Aww ain't that cute she thinks she's a man, now scurry off home little one adults are fighting." "I SAID I AIN'T NO DA.... OH CRAP BIG ROBOT RUN!" The scout saw the giant robot soldier coming from building and began to run. Berry punch was confused with why the little girl was running away until a large shadow began to cover up the light. "Ay who turned out the lights?" "Beep boop Destroy all Scottish drunks." "Hey soldier how did you get so big and what the hell is a Scottish?" Yelled Berry punch when she heard the giant speak. To her knowledge she thought this was the soldier who stayed in her inn she was still pretty angry that the soldier didn't pay. "Analyzing..... Analyzing.... Analyzing ding. Alcohol levels to high must destroy Demoman." The giant soldier after checking Berry punch mistook her as the drunken one eyed cyclops. He then pulled out his rocket launcher and aimed it to the drunks face. "Hey what are you going to do with that there tube friend." Berry punch being to oblivious to what her current situation was looked into the giant soldiers glowing eyes. Before the soldier could pull the trigger the sounds of a battle cry was heard. "FOR FREEEEEDOM!" As a unrelenting force force came upon the metal soldier the blade passed down from the DeGroot family for years well more like 3 years but still passed down. To Berry punches eyes she thought she saw a white knight with long flowing blonde hair with the smell of cherries and trees she wasn't sure how her savior looked like but the silhouette he made from the smoke covering the area she thought it was her hero. When the smoke from the robot soldier cleared up she finally got to see how her savior looked like. Before she could fully see him she jumped to him and gave him a kiss to her surprise she didn't taste cherries or anything remotely romantic like in the books she tasted heavy alcohol and some vomit. It reminded her of how she tasted she got off of the demoman and looked him over he was wearing a dress no a kilt and a crown he was a dark green earth pony she was then hit in the face with his face and slightly vomited in her mouth. "Hey yah we little horse thing why don't you leave before yah friends have to glue you back together. I can handle this here robots bah mahself." The demoman beginning to get drunk again didn't care that be was smooched a equally as drunk female ha just wanted to kill the robots go home and get drunk like usual. "What no way. I am not going to let these tin cans ruin my home." Berry punch was now kicked into a slight sober overdrive damn her and her quick recovery with alcohol. She was going to help get rid of the metal menaces wether she liked it or not. Her home was the only thing she had left from her family she wasn't just going to let the robots destroy it. "What ever yah say. Oh an if yah going to try to kill these here pieces of trash don't just use that there pan yah need yah shield yourself from those explosions as well here have mine." The demo being one raised to always help women no matter how stubborn gave his charging-targ not because he cared for her well being its just he had another more splendid shield the one he got when he went to Persia to go persuade some people. This act of kindness made Berry punch very happy she hasn't received a gift from any one besides her sister and her gifts always sucked it was always a ticket to Ponyvilles alcoholics seminars. Berry punch didn't care how bad the demoman smelled it was alot safer being with him then being with that other pony. "Mind if I tag along. I don't want to attend my funeral just yet." "Alright lass but don't get in mah way I don't want to end up killing yah aswell.". "Where do we go? The metal heads seem to be everywhere." Asked Berry punch she was now fully sober and fully aware of her surroundings no longer is her liquid courage coursing through her vains she was now her old normal slightly worried self. "Well mah best guess would be uhhh... We could go and...no that would kill us. How about we run... not that involves running, I hate running. Oh I know we can go to the most secure area in this place. Do you know anywhere that looks like it could take a bullet you know someplace solid and sturdy, like a tree." The demoman was not one for quick and successful plans he was more on the line of placing traps and taking out enemy's hiding around corners. "Well the only place that fits that description is Golden Oaks Library down the street." "Well then what are you waiting for..." The demoman then smacked Berry punch in the rump to make her start moving and get them out of the danger zone. "take us out of this here hell hole." and with that said both the demoman and Berry punch went to go and hide in the library. ____________________________________________________________ Woo-hee, would'ya look at that. "Now where did that yankee go?" After going into a tactical retreat the engineer managed to find himself lost in the streets of Ponyville. He began walking around to get a hold of his surroundings it wasn't long till he heard cries for help. The engie then dashed to where the screaming was coming from. When he got to his destination he saw an orange pony trapped under a pile of rubble from a collapsed house she was bleeding profusely from her right hoof. "Are you ok mam speak to me." "Yes I'm ok it's just my hoof it's stuck under a support beam and I can't seem to move it please for the love of the Titans please help me." Not wasting anymore time the engie began picking up pieces of wood, rock, glass away from the hurt mare. It wasn't long till the engie saw why the orange mare couldn't move her hoof. A metal pipe was protruding from her hoof it wasn't just in her hoof it dug itself deep into the ground as well. When the orange mare saw what was causing her hoof pain she wanted to scream but couldn't seem to make any noise. After about a minute past the orange mare began to cry how was she supposed to farm carrots with three legs. The engie not knowing how to comfort the crying mare only looked at her with sad eyes. "Sorry mam with your circumstance and all but I'm going to have to take this pipe out before your leg gets infected. By the way what's your name?" The orange mare noticing this pony trying to be nice to her looked at him and said Carrot top. The engie only chuckled a bit and asked if she was a comedian, confused with the statement she only said no. "Now before I take this here pipe out you're going to want to bite down on something.....hard." "Why do you say tha..." Before Carrot top could finish talking engie began to pull on the metal pipe trying his hardest to pull it out as fast as he can. With every pull the sound of splintered bones moving around could be heard making the engie squirm a bit. "OW OW STOP! IT HURTS IT FUCKING HURTS!" Carrot top not being able to handle the pain began moving around making the extraction of the pipe that much more difficult. "Mam please stop moving the more you move the more it's going to hurt." Carrot top tried to listen but the pain was to excruciating the engie gave up on trying to pull it out he had another idea it seemed a bit primitive compared to other ideas but it looked like it was the only way that could work. "Mam I'm sorry but that pipe ain't going nowhere. Now I have a plan to solve this here problem but I am going to need your permission first." "Yes yes I give you permission just take this damn pipe out before I end up getting tetanus from the pipe. Now please just do something I'm begging you." Carrot top looked deeply into engie's goggle. She wanted to see his eyes and see if he really was trying to help because with out the truth of the eyes she was blind. The engie seeing the pain in her eyes he then brought up his hoof and before Carrot top could change her mind he brought it down to her face making her unconscious. Now the engie's plan was to amputate Carrot tops leg. It wasn't going to be easy but if he did it right he could make her at least survive from this whole ordeal. The engie kicking a piece of scrap metal created a dispenser so that he could see her heart beat. After making the life giving machine he looked in the pile of falling buildings to find a saw. After a long and painful task of finding the toothed blade he found it and began walking to Carrot top. He placed the saw to her hoof and prayed she didn't wake up while he was doing this. After the engie did a short prayer he began to saw her hoof off. The sickening sound of metal and flesh was heard through out the area they were in. Thankfully her leg was smashed to bits and was in splinters so cutting through it was fairly easy. When the engie was done with his task of amputation he needed to place something on the fresh wound that would stop the bleeding. While he was thinking he realized he had his experimental hand that he and the medic created a long while back. The engie called it the gunslinger and it helped when he had his hand chopped off by the demoknight. He mainly used it when he had to go and attack the enemy's quickly. When the engie was finished applying the robot hand that surprisingly morphed into a hoof like him when he transported in this land filled with ponies. When the new hoof was turned on it sent a jolt of electricity into Carrot tops body waking her up. "I was walking into the light and then you pulled me back." Carrot top then jumped to the engie and hugged him she knew she wasn't going to die she still has a few more years before she hits the hay forever. "Wait, wasn't I stuck to the ground a few minutes ago?" Carrot top still hyped up that she's alive hadn't noticed her new hoof which kind of made sense since the point of the gunslinger is to replace limbs and act like the real thing. "Well mam first, you weren't out for a few minutes you've been unconscious for hours, and second I had to cut of yer trapped limb, I replaced it with a creation of my own design. It's called the gunslinger it makes hands...er hoofs obsolete these puppys make manual labor as easy as one, two, three." Engie being proud of his invention hadn't noticed Carrot top was crushing things with her new body part. "This is soooooo coool. Now I won't have to work harder then that country hick and I will be the best farmer here. Oh thank you mister thank thank you." With that said Carrot top began to kiss the engie. Time seemed to have passed and both stayed like that position until a arrow went through the engies hat. "Thanks Beep fer standing still yah wanker Boop." "We should high tail of of here." "Yeah your right, but where shall we go the robots could get us any minute now?" Carrot top after finishing her elongated smooch was worried that she and her newly aquired mate might get killed by some stray robots. After thinking hard the grease monkey had an idea. They should go to the most secure building in the vicinity, and he knows where exactly it would be. It was that one tree house he passed by it looked like it could take a good deal of damage so off they were the engie and Carrot top to the tree fort. _________________________________________________________________________ Way to go slugger! The scout kept running and running till he started flying. He wanted to make sure the giant soldier wasn't following. He has been stepped on by them when he was in his own dimension he doesn't want to find out how it would feel like to be squashed by four feet or hooves or whatever these damn mech's have getting trampled by two is painful enough. While looking back the scout wasn't watching where he was flying. The scout growing tired of his flying hid behind a cloud. After hiding for a good 3 minutes the scout grew bored and was contemplating if he should just go down and beat on some robodorks. It wasn't long till the scout overheard the sound of metal smashing and the sound of metal being crushed. the sound grew louder and louder making the scout pop his head through the cloud he was hiding on. To the scout's surprise there was a light opal colored pony pounding the robots with a sign post. The sign post looked like it was ripped off the floor some pieces of dirt was still hanging from the bottom of it. The opal pony was then punched in the face by a glowing boxing heavy, she just took the hit like it was nothing and proceeded to bash the robots head in. After killing the wave of robots by herself she spat out some blood and a few teeth. "Is that all you babies got? Come on go maximum on me I can take it. I wanna push my limits you scrap bastards!" yelled the opal pony. Scout just kept watching as the opal pony spread her wings to stretch, the scout noticed the burn marks on the tips of her wings the opal pony tried to touch it but squirmed in pain. the other features that were visible on the opal pony were the scratch and slash marks on her behind were very visible. The scout was leaning way to much from his comfy cloud before he knew it he was falling face first. The scout completely forgetting about his wings he fell next to the opal pony. The fall startled the battle damaged pony making her grab her chest making a gasping sound. "What the hell is wrong with you. Are you trying to kill me?" The scout doesn't answer at first he just tries to get back up and play it off acting like he fell on purpose. The opal pony wasn't buying it and begin to raise the makeshift weapon. The scout quickly put his hooves over his face to protect it. "HA! Two for flinching." The scout being confused took the punches and looked stupidly at the pony. "This is a real freaking embarrassment." "Yeah I know, sucks to be you. Hey what's your name by the way." "Uh I uh just call me the scout and I am the fastest perso.... I mean pony you will ever meet. Now whats your name bozo?" gloated the scout with a grin plastered on his face beginning to flex his muscle's, this was very common for the scout he was always trying to impress women it always seemed to fail. The opal pony only laughed at the weak display in front of her. "The names Lightning Dust, and stringbean there ain't nopony faster then me. How about a race you me and all these knuckle heads. First to make it to the ugly carousel looking shop wins. 3.2.1 go" Without the scouts answer she quickly zipped out of sight. The scout still stunned with what happened didn't move until he realized he just got himself into a race. Not wanting to lose to a opal colored pony popped open his emergency can of Bonk Atomic Punch. Feeling the energy course through his veins, his body began to vibrate incredibly fast this was the effect of the radioactive drink. Time began to slow down for the scout when he began to move the ground shook under neath him he then started to sprint then run and then finally fly. When he flew he couldn't feel the wind hit his face. After a few seconds of flying he passed Lightning Dust ironically leaving her in the dust. She then sped up trying to catch up to the blur, scouts drink was wearing off making him slow down a bit letting Lightning Dust catch up. Both were neck a neck they didn't care that there was robots following they were having to much fun when they made it to carousel boutique they completely forgot why they came to this area. Lightning Dust blushed when she looked at scout as did the scout. "You're pretty fast." Complimented the scout as he took in a deep breath. "Yeah you ain't that bad either." they both stayed there ogling each other they both in the heat of the moment leaned closer and closer to each other which soon became a kiss. The were then airblasted making them notice that now was not the time for lovey dovey stuff. Thinking of something the scout noticed the engineer and demoman running to a house that oddly looked like a tree. The scout not being the smartest thought it was just decoration. Both the demoman and engie were accompanied by a pony one orange and one magenta. The scout thought they were going to make a battle plan so he grabbed Lightning Dash and Flew to the house.