Lunch time for Derpy usually meant a packed lunch inside a brown paper bag and of course, the bag often ended up on her head. Unfortunately, said lunch was inside the icebox back at her room and rather than go back to retrieve it, the blonde mare decided to go out and eat at the Fancy H Café in Ponyville. Fortunately for her, the place lacked the usual hustle and bustle and she found a seat outside at one of the purple tables with a vase of blue flowers in the middle. A familiar cream-colored stallion wearing a red tie and white shirt came to greet her but got beaten to the punch.
“Hi Horte Cuisine!” said Derpy.
The typically classy waiter took a step back and opened his brown eyes. “You again, madam Derpy!” Horte did a small cough. “My apologies for that remark. It is a pleasure to serve you but please, no incidents this time. Now, have you made your decision?”
“I want a shamrock sandwich.”
“Madam, I am so sorry but we are out of bread. Would you like to try ze shamrock soup instead?”
Derpy gave a big nod and tossed the menu away.
“Ah! My eye!” a fellow customer cried out.
Horte gave Derpy a subtle glare before walking away with grace to deal with the injured pony. “My apologies for that, monsieur.”
The mare flashed an uncomfortable grin to the victim before reaching into her saddlebag and pulling out the weather book. Even though Rainbow gave her the rest of the day off, the grey Pegasus wanted to go over the material one more time, hoping to dig out some more knowledge for next time, if Rainbow Dash would ever allow it to happen. If anything, she felt lucky that she had this job since the last one involving the delivery of heavy packages ended up with no ponies getting their items on time, or in one piece although it provided a boost in employment for medical professionals.
After a few minutes, Horte appeared with a steaming bowl and set it down. “Ah, your food.”
Derpy glanced down to clear green liquid with shamrock leaves thrown on the top. “This looks yummy!”
“Why, of course, madam. This is only ze best soup on the menu. Enjoy.”
Now it was time for the blonde mare to eat except she wanted to keep reading. She took one sip without incident, then two, and a third. Derpy smacked her lips and then read a page in the book, carefully wiping her mouth with a cloth napkin to avoid any unfortunate incident. With more turns of the page, the grey Pegasus felt more relaxed, believing that lunch would be a quiet affair. When she moved her muzzle towards the bowl again, a small, black visitor had decided to take a bath in the sea of green and use a piece of shamrock as a towel. Yet, Derpy kept nipping around it until the tiny wings of the creature tickled her nose, prompting her to open her eyes.
“Fly!”
Derpy flailed her hooves and the fly took flight, as did the bowl which twisted and turned over before the dish made its new home on top of her head. Its contents, however, decided to spill onto the pages of the book. She grabbed the napkin and pressed down hard on it, only for the liquid to make a retreat. With her hoof, she flipped the pages over and continued fighting but the napkin soon became soaked in green liquid and she tossed it away, slapping a passer-by. With her panic growing, Derpy saw an empty table with a tablecloth and dirty silverware above it and made a sprint for it, knocking the bowl on her head down to the ground, shattering it to pieces.
Horte approached the same table and saw incoming disaster. “Oh no! Madam Derpy! Please do not—”
The grey mare yanked the cloth off but somehow, the dirty crystal dishes and glasses did not move.
The fancy waiter sighed in relief and came up to Derpy, now rubbing the tablecloth all over the book. “Um, madam? I do not think that will work. That book appeared to be ruined.”
Derpy’s ears flopped and she plopped down.
“Pardon me but, your bill, madam.” Horte placed a thin black book down on the table.
The blond mare flipped it open to see the receipt. Her server was right, it was the best soup at the café and the price tag matched it. Derpy reached into the saddlebag in search for some bits but none could be found. It then dawned on her that like her lunch, they were back at the inn. All she could do is put on her best puppy dog face and hope for the best.
Horte responded by raising his voice a notch. “That will not work on me this time. We cannot continue to provide you free meals every time you forget your bits. I am afraid you will have to work them off in ze kitchen.”
The gray mare’s voice cracked. “But…but…I can go home and get them.”
“Unacceptable. That is what you said last time. Follow me. There are many dishes to be cleaned today.”
Derpy’s eyes gushed out water and she bawled out loud, catching the attention of the crowd. They began to plead with the blue mane waiter for leniency but he shook his head.
“I am sorry but this is ze only way.”
A new voice then called out from the crowd. “Hold on, there, Horte. I can pay for her.”
The cream stallion saw an orange mare with a cowboy hat coming through. “Ah, Madam Applejack. That is not required. Madam Derpy needs to learn her lesson.”
Applejack calmly raised her hoof. “Now wait just an apple-pickin’ minute. It ain’t like she’s doin’ it on purpose so there’s no harm in lookin’ the other way.” She motioned Horte to come closer to whisper. “Besides, think about what you’re askin’ her to do. Derpy? Dishes? Get my drift?”
It took the waiter a few seconds to get the message. “Yes, of course, but how do I explain it to ze manager? When she hears about this, I may end up washing dishes for weeks.”
“Oh, I got you covered. You see—”. The cow pony got right into the waiter’s ear and mumbled something.
“I understand, madam.” Horte grabbed the bits from Applejack before coming up to the sniffling blonde Pegasus and kneeling down. “Please, forgive me for my rude behavior. I hope to serve you again soon.”
Derpy pulled her hoofs off her eyes, confused at the waiter walking away from her, the crowds dispersing and the cow pony now standing next to her.
“I took care of it for ‘ya” said Applejack. “Just be careful next time ‘cause I don’t think he’ll be able to—”
“Yay, Applejack!” Derpy leaped onto the orange mare and both fell with a dusty thud.
“Ohhhh, I think I hurt my back.”
The gray mare hovered off the injured pony. “My bad. Do you need help getting up?”
“NO! I mean, I’m sure I can manage.” Applejack wriggled her hooves until they touched the ground before pushing up with a grunt. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh, tarnation!” She finally got up and flashed a smile. “You see? Nothin’ to it. Well, I’ll see ‘ya later.”
Derpy scratched her head until the cow pony was halfway down the road and something clicked in her mind. She rushed over with her question. “Wait, Applejack. Why did you help me?”
A few beads of sweat fell off her face as she put on a grin. “Oh, um, I…well…I just felt like it. Yep. That’s it. No particular reason at all. Got nothing to hide.”
That was enough to satisfy Derpy. “Ok! Bye!”
Applejack hobbled away, giving a friendly wave to the blonde Pegasus and she returned the gesture in kind. Then, Derpy went back to the table and her spirits fell off a cliff. The book had dried out under the sun, uniting soup and pages in unwanted unison.
“Oops. Twilight Sparkle will be mad at me.”