Welcome, humble readers, to the unofficial guide on failing at creating your very first My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fan-fiction! This one and only guide was created on the sole purpose of helping out all of the aspiring writers planning to make it big with their own version of “Cupcakes.” This was also created for those few who have the talent to actually come up with an original idea of their own, although the people falling under this group are few and far inbetween. This wonderful, glorious, stupendous, eye-popping, stomach-churning, head-turning, original, new, terrible, different, one-of-a-kind, authentic, genuine, prototypical, and all-around-weird guide will help you on your long, twisting path towards a nearly unreachable goal in which few have succeeded in reaching.
But, I digress, as enough of these tedious introductions and such have been announced. We have a long way to go before you, wonderful reader, become recognized as one of the many talents in this world capable of writing a My Little Pony fan-fiction that will literally blow away the community with its shear radicalness. This guide is to be your friend. Remember to refer to it in any way possible if you are to get stuck or seem to be dragging at any point in the creation of your first fanfiction. I hope all of you will gain from this magical addition to this amazing site!
Choosing a Topic
One of the most challenging things to a new member of the community is trying to choose the topic they would like to write about. The amount of mind-blowing, pure essence of awesome that the average person receives usually will overcome said person, making this time far from ideal when choosing a topic. After letting your mind cool for a few weeks after being melted by the god-like colorful ponies that forcibly teach all who gaze in their direction a key lesson in the controversial realm of friendship. Once the hype has died down, and thoughts other than praising your idol, Rainbow Dash, as she flies circles around your head, making “sonic rainbooms” with each passing are allowed to slip into your mind, you may want to consider a topic on which you want write about.
Choosing your topic is the most important step in writing a fan-fiction, because without a topic, all that would be accomplished is drooling on a piece of paper as you daydream about making out with Pinkie Pie and stuffing you face with one of Applejack’s many apple related creations, while Octavia plays some awesome tunes on her contrabass and Princess Celestia gives you a wink indicating that she would require some company tonight in the royal bedroom. You would sit staring at the wall in pure ecstasy, and, while I recommend this for slight depression and any case of taking a break, as I have indulged in that world as much as the next aptly named “brony” has, this act will get you no closer to the goal you’ve
been trying to reach: thinking up a topic to write a full-fledged fan-fiction.
A common theme to write about during a writer’s first story is romance. Romance is usually very sappy and long, usually going through many pages of filler of the main characters simply basically saying “I love you” to each other for paragraphs on end. While very easy to do, as most relationship fictions are just a bunch of unnecessary drama that can be avoided normally, yet the characters choose to go through with every half-baked idea that they think will impress the other, usually resulting in failure leading to another terrible idea that will fall under the same circumstances as the first, romance fictions have already been done, and every relationship that can be made has already been done.
Another common theme most people think to write about for some strange reason is dark stories usually involving massive amounts of gore or sexual themes. This end of the spectrum is a dangerous territory, as many great stories have been spawned from this hell of colorful-ponies-turned-psycho. Although a dark fiction can be written, the end result nearly always comes to be a silly “Cupcakes” rip off, as Pinkie turns into a monster and goes on a killing spree, mutilating her friends with various torture devices and large blunt objects. The other spectrum of the dark genre of fan-fiction usually depicts erotic acts done by one pony to another. Unless you happen to be a top class lesbian porn writer, this genre should be avoided.
Comedy and random fictions usually go together like eggs and bacon. You write something, and someone, somewhere laughs at your horrible attempt to make a funny joke that turns out to be no better than the old chicken crossing a road. Scootaloo would not appreciate your efforts. Leave the randomness to the professionals who sit in their basements believing that writing at three in the morning and relating it to ponies instantly makes every word the print onto a page funnier.
Another popular topic many young writers love to do is putting ponies into an alternate universe. Nearly everyone has written themselves into the Equestrian world as a new pony, and this usually results in a run of the mill story of a human discovering what it is like to magically be a miniature horse all of a sudden. Most of these types of alternate universe fan-fictions are written while the author is still having heart attacks while Fluttershy attempts to yell “yay” to an annoyed Rainbow Dash. Other alternate universe stories usually place the ponies into a world that they could never survive in, or we do a switch-up of a confused human in Equestria to a confused pony in New York. This may not be the topic to choose as it has become as cliché as saying everything is twenty percent cooler than every other thing that isn’t.
Now we come to the last general topic of the simple “slice of life” genre. While seemingly easy to write as this could be anything from Twilights decision that she wants a new haircut to surprise all her friends, to Princess Luna deciding she wants to get as drunk as possible before trying out for the Wonderbolts. As interesting as it may seem to you, the decision to write in this topic is an outright crime to humanity and equestrianity, as these stories are always boring until the supposed climax, where they decide that whatever they did wasn’t good enough and that they’d rather just revert back to the way everyday has been.
An adventure is always a way to draw readers in from far and wide to witness the amazing trek that your cast choices will go on. While it will attract a large audience, this type of work is the most difficult as your readers will expect to see a heart-wrenching moment where rarity forgets about her luscious locks of hair to save the trustworthy and hard-working Applejack. They expect pages upon pages where you invent new worlds and watch as your readers bask in the irradiated light emanating from these mystical worlds. This, of course, puts pressure on you, the author, to amaze and shock them every time an update is released, as well as making chapter after chapter within days so you can constantly update your stories to make all of your readers happy. While a good adventure fiction will definitely launch your image to the top of the scales in the community, this type of work is tiring and demanding. This is obviously the wrong choice to make while trying to make it to the top easily, as honest work is overrated these days.
After taking all these into consideration, we must decide what topic we want to trick ourselves into believing we can write in. Whichever topic you choose will be the wrong one for you and you will most likely regret it as you bore yourself to death after about three pages of writing. At this point it is no longer the problem of choosing a topic as much as it is picking the poison you want your fantasy story status to burn to a crisp in. The world of fan-fiction is not for the weak of mind and soul, and posting anything can affect your delicate status. The most important thing to remember while choosing a topic is not to write what your heart gives you, but what the public demands from you.