NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You just purchased a NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new unit to the very best of her abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we're provided you with this manual.
WARNING: This unit is overprotective of innocents. If you molest, trample, or kill any citizen in front of this unit, consider yourself screwed. All necessary precautions you should take for you own safety are in this manual. Thus, we will not entertain any refunds, complaints, or charges due to injury from your purchased unit.
Name: She responds to Nyx.
Age: Rivals the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Everfree Forest.
Height: Default foal height
Weight: Small enough for you to bring to school.
Length: Too short for you ride.
Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) Kazoo
One (1) Enchanted Glasses (Used to censor her dragon eyes with nomral pony eyes)
One (1) Purple Vest
One (1) Random Toy
Programming
Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit is capable of doing the following:
Play mate: Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA is programmed to be a best play time friend anyone can have. Your baby brother/sister, the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS units, and even yourself- can have a playful experience of a lifetime. If treated badly during play time, she will enter Self-Defense mode and attack the source of her suffering.
Angel of Death: By killing any friendly unit and pinning the blame on someone, like your local school bully for example, you can transform your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit into an decent assassin. The first thing that will happen is she'll stalk your target, then she kills him/her, and escape from the scene. The next thing is that people will start wondering what happened to the victim. Don't worry, your unit can easily hide the truth of what happened. (If the crime is traced to you, we're not taking responsibility.)
Guard: Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit is a perfect night watch for your home. At anytime she sees someone she's not familiar with, she'll trample that intruder. Keep in mind that if all else fails, your unit will call the police. We are not responsible for any false alarms she made.
Removal of your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit from Packaging
Our NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit is wondering who kidnapped her. To avoid taking the blame for yourself, we have compiled a list of more acceptable ways to wake up your unit.
1. Blow the kazoo close to the package. She will feel more comfortable and join in the fun. She'll might tell you her name. Recommended.
2. Leave some toys for your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit to play with. She will creep out to interact with them. If you join her, she'll have a good impression of you. Also recommended
3. Have your TWILIGHT SPARKLE or RARITY unit open the box. The sight of one of her mentors will invoke NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA to come out of the box. If said mentor explains what bad things you did to her, get ready for the worst.
4. Get your CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS units to play a game. Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit will join them and if you do, she'll offer to be your friend.
Reprogramming
After unpacking your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit, you can reprogram her into any of the following modes:
Kind (Default)
Protective (Default)
Sad
Troll
Scared
Sexy
Sparda Pony (Locked)
Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA comes in Kind and Protective mode. She will look after your home as well as your neighbors, but often find chances to say hello to your neighbors. Once trouble starts, she'll come running to what's going on and do something about it.
Sad mode will leave NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA crying on the floor. The only way to revert her back to Kind/Protective mode is to hug her. If a Supportive TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit is nearby, she will try her best to comfort NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA back the Default mode if she did not see you torment her. If the TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit DID see you, there is a 85% chance of her entering Fire Rage mode.
If bored for too long, NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA will enter Troll mode. In this mode, she will get on the internet and do something stupid just to get an reaction from an internet user. To get your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit to stop, taddle on her in front of a TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit or a RARITY unit. Etiher one or both will berate NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA, telling her what she did wrong. After the lecture, she reverts to Default mode.
Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA will enter Scared mode if something frightens her. She'll try to hide somewhere or with someone she can trust. Do not panic within ten minutes and she'll return to default mode.
If you teach your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit how babies are made, she will enter Sexy mode. In this mode, she'll start looking at flanks of male pony units. If that's not an option, she'll go the internet and start looking through things no one would let their children see. The only way out of this is a hard reboot.
In order to unlock Sparda Pony mode, you must keep the Gem of Chaos that came with the DISCORD unit and give it to your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit. She will then feel great power before an demonic transformation. Once it's done, she is now able to survive fatal wounds and can use Devil Trigger at anytime. If you want to return her to normal, contact us.
Relationships with Other Units
TWILIGHT SPARKLE: A mother to her.
RARITY: A mentor in manners.
THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: Best friends.
Cheerilee: A good teacher to her.
Cleaning
Your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA takes baths under TWILIGHT's care, she won't trust anyone else.
Rest
Your unit will sleep at 9PM and wakes up the moment the alarm clock goes off or at 6AM
Frequently Ask Questions
Q. Why am I banned from Youtube, deviantART, etc?
A. Somehow, you forgot that your NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit is in Troll mode.
Q. What if I mix a Sparda Mode NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit with a Psychoshy FLUTTERSHY unit.
A. Prepare yourself for sight of blood.
Q. I saw my NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit get raped by a Molestia PRINCESS CELESTIA unit and she didn't mind at all.
A. Obviously, you allowed your unit to see adult only pictures and got used to it already.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of a NYX, GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit with a cutie mark, you received the unit without a cutie mark. She rather run than to fight.
Solution: Whoops! We sent you a PRE-NIGHTMARE MOON NYX unit. This unit is unfamiliar with her surrondings and tries to stay alive as much as possible no matter what. We can switch her for your ordered unit if you contact us.
Problem: Your unit started chasing down your pets for any animal units you have.
Solution: Her Protection mode is bugged. Shut your unit down and contact us.
End Notes
If treated fairly, your NYX GUARDIAN OF EQUESTRIA unit will be a wonderful companion! We wish you luck!