//------------------------------// // Mocking Death // Story: Returning Survivor // by Itchy //------------------------------// Sun shining, wind blowing lightly, and not a cloud in the sky... a perfect day for breaking the laws of time and space! Or at least, that's what Mecha thought as he sat next to Cheerilee in the nearby field, waiting for Doctor Whooves and Ditzy to finish the preparations for his latest test. And they weren't ponies watching, for Big Macintosh was sitting about fifty feet away, watching the Cutie Mark Crusades run around and play, while Twilight Sparkle and her friends were talking with Cheerilee. Then, behind Mecha, was his aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Spike... just about everypony in town was present! “Why darling, that ring is simply divine!” Rarity said, eyes sparkling as she took in Cheerilee's engagement ring. “Where did you ever get such a lovely piece of jewelry?” Cheerilee chuckled, before giving a wink a Mecha. They hadn't told anypony yet about their engagement, mostly because they wanted to see how long it'd take anypony to notice Cheerilee's ring. Turns out that the ponies in Ponyville aren't all that observant. “Mecha gave it to me,” Cheerilee replied, smiling brightly. “Forged it himself... and proposed with it.” “Really? That is... wait, did you say propose?” Rarity asked, surprised at what she just heard. “Eeyup,” Cheerilee said, nodding her head. “It was right after the incident with the paper...” Pinkie Pie squealed, before saying, “OHHH!!! This is so exciting! We're going to need a party for this, as well as cake!” Jumping up and down, Pinkie started to ramble on about everything she'd need for the perfect You're Getting Married party. Twilight examined the ring closer, before asking, “Is this silver?” Nodding her head, Cheerilee replied, “Yeah, it is. And before you ask, there's actually an explanation behind it.” Raising her eyebrow, Twilight gestured for Cheerilee to continue, only for Cheerilee to point to Mecha. Turning to face him, Twilight asked, “Well?” Shaking his head and chuckled, before replying, “It's a family tradition... and symbolic. Tell me, do you know why most pieces of jewelry are made of gold?” “Because gold doesn't tarnish darling,” Rarity replied, being the most knowledgeable about the subject. “Exactly,” Mecha started, “And thus requires no maintenance to keep looking good. Which is why my family, or more specifically my to-many-greats-to-count grandfather, decided to propose using silver.” Seeing their confused faces, he continued, “He thought that a ring that showed a status of marriage should show the status of marriage- by how tarnished it appears. The thought being, a happy marriage would have the couple keeping their rings constantly polished, not a speck of tarnish on it, while troubled couples would allow them to tarnish unhindered.” “But wouldn't a lady just polish it anyways?” Rarity asked. “Ah, and that's where the second part comes in,” Mecha said. “If you ever get the chance to look at the wedding and engagement rings of my family's past, you'll notice a common feature between them. Them gemstones, while rare and beautiful, are never something as fashionable as say, diamonds, in order to avoid polishing the ring for pride's sake.” “So you're saying that your entire family uses silver for their engagement and wedding rings?” Twilight asked. “Oh, heavens no!” Mecha laughed, confusing them. “That great ancestor I mention? His wife said she'd only marry him if the wedding ring was brass. His response was only if she'd allow him to blow her brother up.” “Pyromaniacs run in the family, don't it?” Applejack asked. “Yeah, they do,” Mecha replied. “In fairness, the guy was a jerk. But yeah, during their lifetime, spouses have silver engagement rings and any tarnish-able metal wedding rings, whereas in death, they get gold rings to symbolize their eternal love in death.” At this point, Twilight Sparkle got a look of concentration on her face, before pulling out a book she'd brought with her. Flipping open to a certain page, she skimmed it before saying, “I thought I recognized that story! Willmare the Conqueror had a brass wedding ring!” Startled, all of Twilight's friends rushed up to the book, and lo and behold, there was a picture of a painting of Willmare, a brass wedding ring on her hoof. “Shoot, does that me ya'll are related to her?” Applejack asked. Mecha took a look at the picture, before laughing loudly, saying, “I'll be! The old man was right- we are related!” Doctor Whooves walked over, shushing them, while saying, “Yes yes yes, this is all very interesting and all that, and I'm sure his family has other interesting and somehow historically significant tradition, but that's not what we're here for!” Wiping a tear away from his eye, Mecha asked, “Really now? You mean the demonstration is ready?” “Eeyup!” Doctor Whooves replied, turning to face the box set up in the middle of the field. “The watch is in place, the remote functional, all that we need to do is press the big red button... If you would Ditzy?” Smiling, Ditzy replied, “Will do!” Before pushing the button. All eyes turned towards the blue box, watching as it faded from view with baited breath. Thirty seconds later, it reappeared ten feet to the left. “SUCCESS!” Doctor Whooves yelled, grabbing Ditzy in a hug. “It works!” Suddenly, the doors on the box opened, and a cloak-covered figure walked out, much to the audience's confusion. Facing Doctor Whooves, the figure said, in a raspy voice, “Thanks for the ride...” before facing Mecha. Mecha sighed, before pulling out a silver case from his mechanical leg. Opening it up, several cigars could be seen, as he offered it to the figure. “So it's my turn eh?” he asked, as the figure looked over the cigars. “Correct,” the cloaked pony replied, before asking, “Do you happen to have any deer-grown cigars?” Shaking his head, Mecha said, “Sorry, they refuse to sell to me- something about not wanting to lose their license to the king.” “Ah,” came the figure's reply, “Then what about some elk-grown cigars?” “Those are going to be a wedding gift,” Mecha said, shrugging. “Might I recommend the zebra-grown cigars?” Nodding his head, the figure took out a cigar before offering a case of his own. As Mecha looked through, Cheerilee leaned over, and asked, “Uh... Mecha... who is this?” Picking a cigar out, Mecha gave it a quick sniff, before putting it away and replying, “His name is Thantos... although most ponies call him Death.” “Death?” Twilight asked, a disbelieving tone in her voice. “As in the entity Death?” “Yeah,” Thantos replied, “By the way Twilight, your great-grandma takes back what she said on your sixth birthday.” Blinking, Twilight simply blushed before replying, “Okay, I believe you.” Mecha gave Thantos a look, and asked, “Do you happen to have any cigars from Heaven?” Frowning, Thantos looked through his case, saying, “I should... but may I ask why? You're family has always seemed to prefer the ones from Hell...” “So... you want to explain why Death is here and you two are trading cigars?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Well, the trading cigars thing is kind of a tradition,” Mecha said, “Something my family- not the side that does the silver rings- has done for ages.” “As for Thantos being here,” Mayor Mare started, surprising the group with her sudden appearance, “I would assume that Mecha here has blown through our allotted get out of death free cards.” “Correct,” Thantos replied, pulling a cigar from his case, handing it to Mecha. “Although, to be fair, he's come nowhere near close to the number of times your great-grandfather did.” “Ah yes... Explosive Laughter did enjoy seeing how often he could beat you,” Mayor Mare said, a gleam in her eyes as she recalled the tales of her ancestors exploits. “Get out of death free cards?” Rarity asked. “What in the world is that?” “Simple,” Mecha said, lighting the cigars. “My family has a tendency to get ourselves nearly killed so often, that Thantos here, instead of showing up every-time it happened, decided to just get the challenges out of the way all at once.” “So wait... you mean you store victories against death like I store cupcakes?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Eeyup...” Mecha replied. “You'd be surprised at how successful we've been at it too. I mean, how many times did Explosive Laughter beat you?” “Around... six thousand times,” Thantos replied. “Oh, and before I forget, you've got a couple messages as well...” he added, going through his robes. “Um... Brick says congrats on the upcoming wedding, Sure Shot wants me to punch you and call you a lucky son of Lust, Somnium sends you a, and I quote, “Dream like smile- he'll understand”, and finally, Harbuu says... do you want me to read this out loud?” Shrugging, Mecha replied, “Go ahead.” “Harbuu says... I am happy now, You remember but don't grieve, be happy my love,*” Thantos told him. Mecha closed his eyes and smiled, a tear falling from his eyes. “Glad to hear...” he said, before straightening out and stared at Thantos. Taking in a deep breath, Mecha asked, “We ready to go? Because I've got this list of things I want to beat you at, and it's a bit long.” Shaking his head, Thantos replied, “Lead the way!” As the two walked off, Cheerilee sighed, before asking, “Is anyone surprised at this?” Nopony answered. LINEBREAKER Mecha and Thantos were both outside, surrounded by sheets of metal and hammers. A crowd had gathered, and Thantos looked over his shoulder, before asking, “Do I want to know?” “Eenope,” Mecha replied, before making sure that everything was in place. “You ready to go?” Looking at the odd set up, Thantos sighed, before asking, “What is it we're doing here?” “Musical mallets,” Mecha replied, a wide grin present on his face. “Basically, we're going to make music with these!” Eye twitching, Thantos sighed before walking up to his station, and picked up a few mallets. Giving them a few test swings, he started his attempt at the music... only to make a loud mess. Shaking his head, Thantos said, “Your turn.” Chuckling, Mecha walked forward and picked up his mallets, and started. The difference between him and death was immediately known, as he started a cheery melody. Synge, who poked her head up from the pond, recognized the tune, and started to sing along. “The seaweed is always greener In somebody else's lake You dream about going up there But that is a big mistake Just look at the world around you Right here on the ocean floor Such wonderful things surround you What more is you lookin' for? Under the sea Under the sea Darling it's better Down where it's wetter Take it from me Up on the shore they work all day Out in the sun they slave away While we devotin' Full time to floatin' Under the sea Down here all the fish is happy As off through the waves they roll The fish on the land ain't happy They sad 'cause they in their bowl But fish in the bowl is lucky They in for a worser fate One day when the boss get hungry Guess who's gon' be on the plate Under the sea Under the sea Nobody beat us Fry us and eat us In fricassee We what the land folks loves to cook Under the sea we off the hook We got no troubles Life is the bubbles Under the sea Under the sea Since life is sweet here We got the beat here Naturally Even the sturgeon an' the ray They get the urge 'n' start to play We got the spirit You got to hear it Under the sea The newt play the flute The carp play the harp The plaice play the bass And they soundin' sharp The bass play the brass The chub play the tub The fluke is the duke of soul (Yeah) The ray he can play The lings on the strings The trout rockin' out The blackfish she sings The smelt and the sprat They know where it's at An' oh that blowfish blow Under the sea Under the sea When the sardine Begin the beguine It's music to me What do they got? A lot of sand We got a hot crustacean band Each little clam here know how to jam here Under the sea Each little slug here Cuttin' a rug here Under the sea Each little snail here Know how to wail here That's why it's hotter Under the water Ya we in luck here Down in the muck here Under the sea**” Everypony cheered loudly when Mecha and Synge finished. Grinning, Mecha turned to face Thantos, and asked, “Think I win?” Shaking his head, Thantos replied, “Yes, well, I've never head of musical mallets before so...” “I'll take that as a yes,” Mecha said, walking towards the next station. “And trust me when I say you'll love this next one!” Sighing, Thantos muttered, “I somehow doubt that...” “Because we'll be trying to make the biggest explosion!” Mecha continued, pulling out the stations. “An hour to make you best explosive!” Eye twitching, Thantos asked, “You've discovered some way to make a better explosive, haven't you?” With a large grin, Mecha pointed towards the Everfree Forest. Raising an eyebrow, Thantos walked into the forest, before walking right out and yelling, “I'll save us both time and just concede this task to you!” Chuckling, Mecha put his explosives away, before yelling back, “Then get yourself some back-up dancers, it's time to break dance!” Upon hearing this, Snips and Snails rushed up to Mecha, asking, “Is it really that time boss?” “Eeyup!” Mecha replied, pulling out a large piece of cardboard from nowhere. The ponies in the crowd grew excited, knowing that Mecha would have to be extremely talented in this if he was willing to challenge Thantos in this. Thantos smirked- dancing was something he could do. Letting out a shrill whistle, two specters came up through the ground, before solidifying. “Do you happen to have a DJ?” Thantos inquired. Eyes widening, Mecha ducked under a bench, just in time to avoid a white blur that would've run him over. Stopping in front of Thantos was Vinyl Scratch, a glimmer in her eye, as she asked, “Did you say you need a DJ?” “Um... yeah...” Thantos replied, taking a step or two back. Grinning, Vinyl vanished in a blur again before reappearing with all her gear, music already blasting from her speakers. Leaning over, Thantos asked, “Does she... um.... always...?” “Yes,” Mecha said, coming out from hiding. “Nopony could figure out how exactly she does it, but she can locate somepony in need of a DJ in a hundred mile radius, appear, DJ the event, and be back to where she started at the end of it.” Blinking, Thantos shrugged as the dancers took position. Getting up on their rear legs, they stared off as the crowd of ponies cheered while the music raged. Thantos was the first to move, walking forward before dropping down while spinning, his back-up dancers following right behind him. Pushing himself up, he moon-walked back to his starting position, looking smug. Mecha had an amused look on his face as he stepped forward, before he, Snips, and Snails all dropped onto their left fore legs and started to spin on them, swinging their bodies in an almost effortless motions. They finally kicked off the ground into back-flips, landing back to back, Mecha giving Thantos his own smug grin. Thantos growled slightly, before leaping forward in a front flip, landing on his fore-legs, before pushing up and spinning into a robotic like motion, finally coming to a halt in Mecha's face. With a snort, he walked back, giving Mecha room for his response. With a grin, Mecha and his apprentices took the stage, jerking and popping as they moved. When they got their, they leapt forward, caught themselves on their forelegs, and set themselves on their heads. Or horns in Snips and Snails case. And then they started to spin themselves, faster and faster, until finally they stopped... all perfectly balanced. The crowd roared with approval, eating up the incredible display of skill before them. Thantos groaned, before allowing the two specters that had been his back-up to return to the after-life. “Alright then...” he started, rubbing his forehead, “What's next?” Looking towards Snips and Snails, he saw them nod their heads, so he replied, “Scouting test...” LINEBREAKER Thantos and Mecha had just spent the last half-hour observing a scene carefully crafted by the town for this very challenge. An so, with their backs turned upon the scene, they were reciting what they'd spotted in great detail. “...including a dying leaf on the uppermost branch, and six blue-jays.” Thantos finished. Nodding her head, Twilight Sparkle wrote a few quick notes on her clipboard, before asking, “What did you spot Mecha?” At this point, Mecha started listing off everything he spotted, while looking over the crowd. Twilight's friends were all watching with rapt attention, Big Macintosh standing by them with Cheerilee, watching over Snips, Snails, Lively Spirit, Sugary Spice, and Ruby. Wait a minute... At this point, Mecha had been all but quoting Thantos, but knew the one thing Thantos had missed. “...and five blue-jays, with a Changeling disguised as a sixth.” This caught Thantos off guard, who turned around to see the sixth blue-jay morph into Sapphire. Groaning, he face-hoofed, saying, “I forgot you were an intel scout...” Chuckling, Mecha patted Thantos on the back, saying, “Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. Besides, I've got one more challenge for ya today.” Perking his head up, Thantos asked, “Really now? And what is that?” “Hey, we aren't late to the party are we?” came a voice from the sky. Thantos turned to face the Pegasus that had just spoken, revealing it to be Nimbus. “Eenope, right on time!” Mecha replied, as Nimbus landed. Following this was a few flashes of teleportation, revealing Solaris and Spit Fire, Shine Sight with Soarin, Hayek, and Keynes, Shining Armor accompanied by all three princesses and Iron Will, with Zecora walking towards them. Grinning, Mecha turned towards Thantos, asking, “Ever hear of a game called soccer?” LINEBREAKER The warm ups were done, and the players where in position. Mecha was a Striker with Iron Will, with Solaris playing left forward, Zecora mid forward, and Shining Armor right Forward. Behind them was Keynes as left midfielder, Hayek the right. Spit-fire, Nimbus, and Soarin made up the defensive line, playing left, mid, and right respectively, while Shine Sight was goalie. Flying above them was Celestia, Luna, and Cadence, all acting as referees to ensure fair play. On the other side of the field, Thantos had once more summoned a slew of specters to aid him, he himself taking the position of midfielder. With a grin, Mecha signaled to Celestia that they where ready to start. Flying down, she set the ball in front of Mecha, before flying back up, and blew he whistle. Upon hearing its shrill sound, Mecha ran forward... while kicking the ball back towards Zecora. This had the intended effect of confusing the opposing team, as they'd bolted after Mecha, only for him to lack the ball. By the time they'd realized what had happened, Zecora had already kicked up in the air towards Iron Will, who did a front flip as he kicked the ball, sending it flying past Thantos' goalie. “Point- team living!” Luna called out, as Ditzy Flew up to the score board and put a one up by Mecha's name. Growling, Thantos waited as they reset the ball, and was shocked when the whistle blew that Mecha, Iron Will, and the forwards ran past his player without attempting to steal the ball, and thus didn't react to when Keynes slid into the ball, knocking it towards Hayek. Hayek then took the ball to the half-line, before passing it towards Solaris, only for it to be intercepted by Thantos. Thantos began to dribble down the field, narrowly dodging Shining Armor in his attempt to steal the ball. Crossing the mid-field line, he shot the ball past the defenders to his striker... Only for Cadence to blow her whistle, and call out, “Off-sides!” Letting out another growl, Thantos watched as Nimbus stood behind the ball, before kicking it to Soarin. Soarin then brought the ball forward, only to repeat Mecha's earlier stunt by passing it behind him back to Nimbus. Nimbus then sent the ball to Spit Fire, who ran forward before snapping her wings open, the sudden force backwards bringing her kick up faster and with more momentum then it would normally have otherwise- allowing the ball to reach Mecha, who kicked it straight into the air, before twisting himself to get another kick in... straight into the goal. “Point- team living!” Luna cried once more- and Ditzy flew up with a two in hoof. Thantos shot Mecha a glare, to which Mecha just smiled at. LINEBREAKER Things weren't looking good for Thantos at the moment. The score was 5-0, as his team could not get the ball past Shine Sight on the few occasions they could get the ball down field. Add in the fact that Nimbus and Soarin would do that same trick with the wings that Spitfire had done and the moment his team lost control of the ball down field it was back up field, where either Zecora would kick it up to Iron Will, or Solaris or Shining Armor would run circles around his defense until they could get it to Mecha. Furthermore... it was maybe a half-hour into this ninety minute game. Sighing, Thantos walked up to Mecha, un-summoning his specters, before saying, “I... give up.” Blinking, Mecha replied with, “Aw... why? I mean, do you know how hard it is to get a good game of soccer going? Not many Ponies know how to balance on their rear-legs properly after all.” Snorting, Thantos said, “If that was a good game then I'm married to the Bios.” Chuckling, Mecha said, “Well, it has been fun...” “For you maybe,” Thantos said, grabbing a bottle of water offered to him. “But I've but getting the tar beaten out of me all day... and besides, I've got work up north,” he added. Raising an eyebrow, Mecha asked, “Anypony I know?” Shrugging his shoulders, Thantos replied, “No one you've met. Anyways, I should be going...” And with that said, he turned into a mass of black energy, before taking off north. “What was that all about?” Cheerilee asked, walking up to Mecha. “Eh... not real sure,” Mecha replied, “But I do know this. My family- too many victories to count, Thantos- zero.” *If you haven't taken a peak at the chapter preview for Past the Gates, Harbuu speaks in Haikus. **Under the Sea- by Disney for “The Little Mermaid.” A fun song that happens to use a steel drum in it... I think.