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// Unicorn Too Lazy to Use Magic to Pick Up Television Remote, Forced to Watch PBS 
// Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau 
// by The Read Later List 
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Unicorn Too Lazy to Use Magic to Pick Up Television Remote, Forced to Watch PBS

Ponyville, Equestria- While calling in sick from work and avoiding family members, Mint Leaf, unicorn, 21, found it too much of a struggle to get up from the couch to retrieve his television remote, or obtain it telekinetically.  

"Well I sat down to watch a marathon of My Little Human when I found out that the remote was actually on the coffee table," said a young but overweight Mint Leaf.  "I knew there was no way I would ever get up.  I thought for a second that I could  lift it with magic, but... I decided it would be much easier to just keep it on PBS."

Mint Leaf continued watching PBS until passing out from dehydration and hunger.