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// Prince Blueblood on Villainous Tantrum After Nopony was there to Wipe His Ass 
// Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau 
// by The Read Later List 
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Prince Blueblood on Villainous Tantrum After Nopony was there to Wipe His Ass

Canterlot, Equestria- The royal castle in Canterlot is in ruins today following the mindless rampage of Prince Blueblood, enraged by the absence of his royal ass cleanser.  At about 4 P.M. today, Blueblood followed his usual routine, and evacuated his bowels.  However, much to his surprise, there was nopony there to wipe his royal hindquarters of the excrement.  After this discovery, Blueblood commenced a blind rampage, destroying precious artifacts and rubbing his dirty asshole upon every surface he could find.

"Where's the royal wiper?!" shouted Blueblood multiple times, just before ripping down 2000 year old tapestries and unsuccessfully attempting to use them as toilet paper.

"He was out of control," commented Princess Luna.  "Neither Celestia nor I had the power to stop him.  It was awful; he just wouldn't stop.  I don't think the royal carpets will ever be clean again."  

Eventually, the Prince was subdued with promises of "warm milk" and a "tummy rub".