//------------------------------//
// Equestricans.wav (YOU'RE PISSIN' ME OFF) 
// Story: MLP: TCR 
// by Omlliw 
//------------------------------//

"Alright, 732, Radio Graffiti.."
"Uh, yeah, I was just...your granny called and she wants your dil-"
"Ah, SHUT UP, shut your stupid, stinkin', smelly hole, shut up! 269, Radio Graffiti."
"Hey, Patrick! What am I now?" asked a high-pitched voice. "Uh, stupid?" replied Patrick. "No, I'm Texas!" answered his friend. "What's the difference?" Patrick asked. Both started laughing like hyenas in a feather-duster factory.
"Mah, hah, REAL funny, oh-UH HUH HUUH! REAL FUNNY! Shut up! Piece of crap for Christ's sake!" Ghost lazily tossed his microphone into a pile of cans. He wasn't as angry as he usually was. Something deep down within him told him that he needed to get angry-really, really, angry-so that Princess Celestia might banish him back to Earth, or something fruity like that. "619, Radio Graffiti."
"Hell, I mean, in my personal opinion, my grandmother is a good pie-"
"Shut up, shut up! 617, Radio Graffiti."
"Such a pity that Asho wasn't the kid who got shot by the police for pulling a gun out at school." Hey, it's Tzeki! Ghost let out a short laugh. "Woo! Oh, man, I didn't say it. How you doing, Tzeki? Found a way to get me outta here?"
"Not yet, Ghost, but I have an idea, being a brony and all." Ghost snorted in disgust at this. "Magic! It's in all the stories. Find someone with powerful magic and make them send you back to Earth."
"How are they gonna know how to do that?"
"Beats me. They always know how in the stories."
Ghost grimaced. "Twilight knows this magic, doesn't she?" Tzeki hung up. "Gee, if you wanted to get me angry you've done a great freakin' job. Uh, Xarahox, Radio Graffiti!" Xara played a short jingle on his piano. It sounded like a cross between the Rugrats theme song and 'Happy Birthday To You'. Ghost took offence, namely because that was the tune he was playing when 'the accident' happened. "Screw you. It's your fault! Stupid idiot. Uh, 571, Radio Graffiti."
"Herman Cain sexually harassed your granny." A male voice.
"Ah, shove it up your ass. Stop talking about Herman Cain, and don't talk about my granny. 361, Radio Graffiti."
"Hey, Ghost, happy birthday from Thomas the Tank Engine!" a male voice quickly quipped.
"SHUT UP, it's not my birthday-why are you idiots saying it's my birthday today? I mean I WISH it was my birthday, somebody would give me something, you know what I mean? I mean, you know, people would be giving me stuff around here or something; unfortunately it'd be ties and, you know, ridiculous, off-the-clearance-shelf crap, but, you know, at least it's the thought that counts, at least when it comes to your birthday, alright? 781, Radio Graffiti."
"Hey, your granny's dead, don't you under-"
"Can you idiots shut up, shut up, SHUT UP ABOUT MY GRANDMOTHER ALREADY!?" Ghost launched the mike into the cans. Ghost was seriously pissed off now. "Dammit, enough! Enough of talking about my granny already, alright? Enough of this crap! Jesus Christ, gimme the-" More cans meant more anger. These trolls were on a roll, even if he didn't want to admit it! "502, Radio Graffiti."
"And I hate to keep beating my grandmother here, but..." Beating noises and a feminine scream could be heard through 502's phone.
"Goddammit, man, enough of the grandma stuff, man, goddammit! Right, that does it! Engineer, IMPLEMENT CHATROOM MARTIAL LAW!"
"Way ahead of you," said Applejack, who had trotted in prior to Ghost's knowledge, and turned on Chatroom Martial Law. Ghost screamed in shock, played his outro and turned to face Applejack. "Ah listened to every word ya said. Ah know you're not expectin' me, but I think you need to calm down."
"NO! There's no way I'm calmin' down, when I can get out of here by being angry!"
"Stop it, sugarcube. Nothin' can be solved by violence and anger."
"No pony is gonna tell Ghost, from True Capitalist Radio, what to do, ya hear?" Ghost tried to ignore Applejack, and spun back around.
"You're supposed to have a whole bunch of friends. Ya said that to me in person. With this attitude, I'm believing it less and less."
"Come on, I AM a melting pot of friendship. I'M A NICE GUY!" Ghost shouted, turning back to AJ and waving his arms. Applejack gave an unimpressed and despairing look.
"Getting mad at people makes you a nice guy where you come from?" Ghost was about to say "Yeah, it does!" but decided against it, and swivelled around again. Applejack just stared at Ghost with a frown. Ghost could feel it, and asked her to stop, but still it persisted. "Ghost, you need to calm down."
"What I need to do is tell you ponies that you're burning a hole in my stomach! Get outta here, I wanna do something!" He hurriedly ushered the Earth pony out of the studio, turned back to his desk and opened a cabinet.
The Texan grinned wickedly, loading his prize.