Chapter 4: It'd be a Shame if Something Happened to It
The Doctor stood in front of a jumbled mess of blocks with a grin on his face. Derpy leaned against a tree and watched him place blocks with seemingly no plan. She had tried telling the Doctor that his creation was hideous and useless, but the Doctor insisted that he knew what he was doing.
The Doctor scrolled through the menu of his E.F.M and selected a dirt block. He stood in front of his masterpiece and calculated in his head where the block would fit the best. Unable to figure out for himself, he turned around to his companion for help.
“Do you think a block of dirt would look good here?” he asked.
“I think it’s gone to the point where nothing will make it look better or worse.”
“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” The Doctor turned back around and placed the block carefully.
Derpy laid down on the floor and rested her chin on the ground. “What are you building?”
“It’s a house.” The Doctor stepped back and surveyed his construction.
“It looks like as if you gave the E.F.M to a foal.” Derpy giggled.
“I’d like to see you do better.” The Doctor scoffed. “Everypony’s a critic,” he added.
Derpy smiled and squinted at the Doctor. “Is that a challenge?”
He returned Derpy the same look. “Yes, yes it is.”
After a brief moment of intense staring, the duo shouted, “IT’S ON!”
Derpy went off into the woods near the house, making sure that she was within shouting distance of the Doctor. She pounded away at tree trunks then collected the wood when the block broke . She repeated the process until she had a good supply of wood.
Derpy traveled a bit more until she found a clearing in the woods. She dug up the dirt in a rectangle leaving a neat hole in the ground, one block deep. She glided over to the edge of the hole and outlined the blocks with the wood she gathered. About a minute of hasty work later, the hole had walls four blocks high.
Laying down blocks using a magical tool doesn't really exert one’s body much, but Derpy still decided to take a break to check out the Doctor’s building. When she arrived, the Doctor was standing on top of a block that was floating high above the ground. He was stuck. Derpy bit on her hoof to stop herself from laughing.
“So—” Derpy snickered, but the Doctor didn't notice. “How are you doing with your house?” she said as casually as she could.
The Doctor cautiously turned himself around on the small block of dirt.. “I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.”
“Have you... have you hit any complications yet?” Derpy lost what was left of her composure and bursted into a laughing fit.
“This is serious, I could die if I fall right now!” The Doctor nearly lost balance and knelt down to regain it. He hugged the edges of the block with his forelegs and legs.
“It’s like ten feet! You can’t die from that unless you fall straight on your neck.” She rolled over onto her back and continued to laugh.
“Please get me down Derpy,” he asked politely.
Derpy was still laughing loudly and couldn't hear the Doctor’s request.
"Derpy," the Doctor said to get her attention.
"Derpy," he said again to the still laughing Derpy.
"Derpy!" he said a bit louder. The Doctor facehooved. Derpy still hasn't stopped laughing.
“Derpy, get me down!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. The Doctor slammed his hoof onto the floor, breaking the block underneath him. It was a bad move considering that that block was the only thing supporting him.
Derpy lost her desire to laugh and bolted over to the Doctor in a grey blur. She caught him a few feet from the floor and put him down softly.
Derpy laughed nervously. “Sorry. I probably should’ve helped you down earlier.”
“It’s alright, it was my fault anyway.” The Doctor brushed his tie off. “And thank you, let’s not speak of this again.”
“I don’t think so.”
The Doctor exhaled an exasperated breath. “Fine... What were you doing here anyway?”
“Oh, I was just checking up on your building.” Derpy walked past the Doctor and begun surveying his shelter. The Doctor followed closely behind, uncomfortably close.
“What are you doing?” Derpy asked.
“Preventing sabotage.”
“Now why would I ever do that?” she asked innocently.
“Whenever we have competitions like this, they always end badly. Don’t you remember the cupcake eati—”
“Okay I got it,” Derpy interrupted.
Derpy did her best to ignore the Doctor as she continued surveying the house. The Doctor walked into Derpy a few times as they walked around the house. She finished up and turned to the Doctor. “It still looks like a jumbled mess. I think a foal could do better.”
The Doctor frowned. “If you think you’re so good, let’s have a look at your house!”
“My pleasure.” Derpy smiled smugly and trotted to her shelter.
The Doctor followed Derpy. “I present to you, my amazing construction!” Derpy threw her forelegs up and stood on her hind legs, similar to the way the Great and Powerful Trixie did during her shows.
Derpy was waiting for the Doctor’s reply, but there was only silence. “It’s too good for words, am I right?”
“It looks like a giant cardboard box.”
“It's—” Derpy started.
“And it has no door.” The Doctor cut her off.
“Still better than yours.”
“Not for long,” the Doctor said mischievously.
“Let’s hope you don’t have any more work related accidents, Doctor.” Derpy wore a malicious grin.
The Doctor trotted back to his project while peering over his shoulder periodically. Derpy followed his every move until he was out of sight.
Derpy’s building stood tall over the surrounding landscape. She could see the tops of trees and a few glimpses of the Doctor’s building. She couldn't help but notice that the Doctor’s building was finally beginning to take some shape. The building reminded Derpy of something, but she couldn't figure it out. Her confidence was still high.
Derpy spread out her wings and jumped off the top of the building’s walls. She gathered some more materials and finished covering up the top of the building. She flew back down to ground level again and punched two blocks out of the wall.
“Now that’s a good door,” she said to herself.
Derpy walked through the hole and into the house, but she fell forward onto her face upon taking the first step. Apparently, the floor of the house was actually a block lower than the rest of the ground outside. The light from the door-hole only lit up a small area. The rest of the room was pitch black, Derpy couldn't even see the other side of the room. She had a little Eureka moment and pulled the E.F.M off of her wrist. She cast the light from the screen in front of her, but she was disappointed with the poor results. The amount of light that was cast definitely wasn't enough light to be useful. Derpy reluctantly decided to turn to the Doctor for help with lighting.
She gave the inside of the house one last glance then climbed the small ledge that led outside. The sky had a orange-reddish tint to it now. There was only a minute or two left of sunlight. Derpy trotted through the woods over to the Doctor, little did she know, the Doctor had the same idea. They encountered each other in an area in between their buildings.
The Doctor greeted Derpy cheerily and she did the same.
“So, what brings you out here right now?” Derpy asked.
“Me? I was wondering if you had a flashlight or something. The inside of my house is rather dark.”
“I was actually going to ask you the same thing."
The Doctor watched the sun get lower and lower on the horizon. It was already halfway down. “The sun is setting, and our houses are both uninhabitable. If only we decided to just work on the same house, then we’d actually have someplace to sleep in.”
The Doctor and Derpy stared each other momentarily before bursting into laughter.
“I actually thought you were serious for a moment!” Derpy laughed a bit more and wiped a tear from her eye. “Anyway, your house might be useless, but mine could probably get us through the night.”
“Alrighty then.”
When the duo arrived at Derpy’s house, the sun had just set below the horizon and blackness was taking over the sky. There was no moon tonight.
“This is safe?” the Doctor exclaimed upon seeing the fortress of wood.
Derpy nodded and flew inside.
“It still doesn't even have a door!”
Derpy poked her head out the door. “Do you want to wait in a hole tonight?”
The Doctor mumbled something and walked into the house.
“Plus, it does have a door.” Derpy pointed the E.F.M and sealed the hole up with two blocks of dirt.
The last of the light was cut off and the duo was stuck in pitch blackness. Derpy took the time to take a quick nap, the Doctor on the other hoof, wasn’t so calm. He spent the first minute and a half fidgeting with the E.F.M and discovered a few screens that he hasn’t used yet. He didn’t know how to anyway so it was pointless.
The Doctor powered off the screen and began pacing the room. He bumped into the walls a couple of times, but after several more rounds, he was able to determine when to turn based on how many hoofsteps he took.
As he passed by the wall with the door for the eighteenth time, he heard a faint hissing noise that faded away just as quickly as it started. The Doctor just assumed it was Derpy snoring. Three more turns and he was back at the same wall, and there was the same hiss from before.
“Derpy’s snoring is like clockwork,” the Doctor thought.
He passed by the wall again, and Derpy produced another hiss. The Doctor chuckled a bit. Derpy stirred in her sleep and rolled from her backside onto her hooves.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s your snoring, that’s all.”
“What? I don’t snore,” Derpy said, surprised.
“Nonsense, I can hear it whenever I pass this wall. It works like clockwork.” The Doctor knocked on the wooden wall.
“Doctor, that hissing isn’t me. You can hear it right now.” Derpy followed the Doctor’s voice and stood next to him. She pressed her ear against the wall. “Yeah, it’s definitely outside. I think it’s getting louder too.”
“What do you know, it i—” BOOM.
The Doctor and Derpy were thrown halfway across the room. The rising sun shined through the gaping hole in the wall. Dirt and stone blocks floated in the deep crater before them. They stared at the destruction with bruised ribs, cut bodies, and gaping mouths.
“WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT?!” they shouted in unison.
“Doctor, did you blow up my house?” Derpy said loudly. She paused and rubbed her ear. "I can hardly hear myself."
“What was that Derpy?!” the Doctor shouted unintentionally.
“Oh Celestia I think we’re deaf!” Derpy shouted back. “Doctor! We’re deaf! I can barely hear you and I can barely hear myself oh my Celestia this is so ba—” The Doctor pressed his hoof onto Derpy’s mouth.
“SHUSH!” The Doctor apologized for his loud tone.
He cocked his head to the left and cupped his ear with his hoof. “Do you hear that?”
“Ringing,” answered Derpy.
“The phone! We need to find the phone now!”
The Doctor navigated the crater with ease and Derpy simply flew over it. They found the source of the ringing phone and picked it up.
“Hello?!” shouted Derpy into the phone.
They were greeted by heavy breathing on the other line. “Hey... guys... I... need... give me a second.” Pinkie took several over exaggerated breaths.
“Wow, Pinkie Pie is actually out of breath,” Derpy said, surprised. They had a short laugh and went back to paying attention to the phone again.
Pinkie took one last deep breath and began talking. “Hey guys I just ran over from Canterlot because I just remembered some super duper important news that I need to tell you two!”
“We’re listening,” said the Doctor.
“You need to watch out for the green mossy monsters. It looks like they just want a hug but trust me, I tried that once and he just exploded. What a meanie! How are you guys doing right now anyway? Hold on! I’m turning on a camera.”
The duo heard a few clicks on the other line. “Oh. Wow. It looks like you two already met Mr.Creeper.”