Pokey Pierce, stallion of the heaven piercing horn, was having a rough day. First, he had to fill out a fifty page document relating to the use and reimbursement of the towns emergency fund. He'd spent five hours on the thing while Trixie flitted about the residency doing all sorts of useless things, just waiting for her wage slave to get her job done. It didn't help that it was a beautiful morning and the warm air and bird song had been pouring in. ((It didn’t matter what Trixie said, there was no way they’d give her another window so soon when others needed them as well.)) Then, after going off to deal with a spy, his boss had rushed back in, said it wasn’t a spy, it was a private meeting, jammed stuff onto his horn (oww) and then literally threw his flank out of the office face first (double ow). He’d then been stuck off doing the grocery shopping, and he knew that on returning to work he’d be right back to filling out paperwork. So he decided to take a pit stop on the way back to work, ducking into Sugercube Corner and picking up a fresh muffin and a cup of coffee. He even talked with Pinkie Pie for a bit. After finishing his snack and learning forty nine non-standard uses for vanilla extract, some of which sounded reasonable and interesting while the rest sounded like things Trixie would try, Pokey felt ready to get back to work and take on whatever else happened today.
Naturally he was disappointed when his hopes for a good day were dashed almost immediately upon entering the office and seeing Trixie lying face down on her desk with an empty bottle of bourbon next to her. He sighed. Some days perseverance seemed like the worst talent to have. If he was anypony else less suborn and determined, he’d have quit long ago. “So…I take it the meeting didn’t go well?”
“I am a horrible friend. I stink as a friend. If friendship was a class in school I would get a quadruple F minus.” Trixie explained, her face still seemingly glued to her desk in depression.
Now Pokey was concerned. It was one thing for Trixie to be drunk, that happened every so often when working with the mare. However, when Trixie was drunk, two things were sure to happen. Trixie became happier, and she started to speak in Prench. Also she apparently had a split personality if she drank enough, but he’d never been around to see it. However, if after downing a whole bottle Trixie was not only still upset but speaking Equestrian without so much as an accent, this was a more serious situation than he had thought. "Alright Trixie, tell me what happened."
*********************
Carrot Top felt aweful. She was upset, bald, and had just yelled at Trixie. Not a good combination. Sure Trixie could be loud, rude, obnoxious, self-centered, oblivious to the needs and feelings of other, manipulative, drank too much...okay buck Trixie.
(Note: We would like to note at this time that Carrot Top is upset, and her views are not an accurate reflection of Trixie. We do not endorse this rage and trauma fueled opinion. Please do not beat us with large sticks Trixie fans. Thank you. We now return you to your irregularly scheduled story *walks off stage* Oh my Luna large sticks! *violence ensues*)
As unreliable as Trixie had proven to be, again, Carrot Top still had the option of just waiting it out. Having sent some letters with Ditzy, she had informed the Farmers Union that she had exhausted all her patience trying to organize them, and they could go buck themselves and find a new leader. Really, they'd kinda forced her to take the job. Just because she came up with the idea didn't mean she had to be in charge of them while they squabbled like school children. Heck, once they got a leader who wasn't a pushover like she'd been back the they'd probably get more done. Quite frankly she was sick and tired of dealing with their manure issues. It wasn't like the stuff was that rare or you needed a ton of it for your fields! Earth pony magic made it so the soil lost its nutrients at a much slower rate while still nurturing the plants just as much, and if you dint have a special talent for farming, what were you even doing in this line of work?
Getting angrier, and hungrier, as she thought more about it, she decided that she could take care of the second one the easiest. Getting a bowl and lining it with some nice crisp lettuce, she proceeded to dice a red onion, stupid thing made her cry, arrange some celery stalks along the sides of the bowl pointing outward, sure to leave strands in her teeth, added some shredded cabbage, probably give her gass, topped it off with a reath arrangement of spinach leaves, and topping each leaf with a slice of beet. Taking her lunch over to her table, she sat down to eat.
And that's when there was a knock on the door. Glaring up from her food at the offending noise, she shouted "Go away!" Apparently whoever was there didn't take the hint and knocked louder and faster. "Go away!" Carrot Top shouted again, but to no avail as the knock repeated. Growling, she got up and grabbed her sun hat, sticking it on top of her head as she opened the door to tell the other pony off to their face...only to find nopony there. Instead, she felt something brush by her legs and turned to see a rabbit, Angel, having rushed into her house and jump on the chair, the proceed to frantically wave his arms about while hopping on the chair. Seeing the animal in obvious distress, Carrot Top proceeded to pick it up by the scruff of its neck and throw him out the front door. "Look, I'm not in the mood to deal with whatever panic attack Fluttershy is having today, so go bug somepony else about it." she explained, slamming the door in Angel's face.
She had just sat down to resume eating when suddenly there was a rapping on the window. Looking over, she saw Angel there waving frantically and trying to get her attention. Carrot Tops response was to simply close the curtains. Sitting down again, another knock sounded, this time from the back door. Braying slightly in frustration, she grabbed a broom in mouth and opened up the back door. Angel's attempted dart into the room was halted by the sweep of the broom, which in the mouth of a farmer pony had plenty of good speed and got some nice distance on that shot.
Having resolved that quite handily, Carrot Top was sure that she'd gotten rid of the pest for good and could finally enjoy her meal. Of course, the universe loves nothing more than to prove others wrong, and before she'd even taken her first bite a nice on the roof caught her attention. A hopping, banging sound headed for...her chimney.
*******************
Angel dropped down into the fireplace, sot darkening his coat with gray streaks in a few places. This would take a while to clean and would taste aweful while doing it, or worse he'd need to recieve a water and foam bath. The things he does for The Lady. Looking around for his quarry, he found the Carrot Pony easily enough as she is standing right in front of him with one of her paws raised over...one end of a fireplace shovel. Dropped over the grate, the other end was, looking down, right beneath him. Like a seesaw. Realizing what was about to happen, Angel's ears dropped and his eyes grew wide as he shook his head back and forth. Carrot Pony just smiled and stomped her paw down, launching him back up and out the way he came. Time for Plan E.
******************
Carrot Top was sure that the dumb bunny would give up after that, but no, the thing was knocking on her front door again. Snorting, she opened it only to find the rabbit holding up one of her own carrots like it was a peace offering. "Idiot, I already have plenty of carrots right over..." she paused indicating the lunch she had prepared. A lunch which had no carrots in the main dish. No carrots as a side dish. Not even carrot juice. That wasn't like her...just like it wasn't like her to yell at her friends, check rabbits up fire places, or dismiss one of her friends without hearing what they had to say at least. Sighing in defeat, she turned resigned to the victorious rodent. "Alright fine you little carrot muncher, but this had better be important."
********************
Carrot Top could only stare at the sight in front of her. Fluttershy's house was devastated. The door was smashed in, the windows were broken, the furnace was overturned, the place looked like a miniature war zone. As for Fluttershy herself, the shy pegasus was nowhere to be seen, no even in her few usual hiding places that were left intact. Turning with a sheepish grin to the annoyed rabbit who was tapping its hind leg while glaring at her, Carrot Top gave a nervous chuckle. "Yeah okay this is definatly important."
******************
Pokey could only stare in horror. Having gotten the story from Trixie he had tried to calm her down and reassure her that she was a good friend. Mind you that was a bit hard to do when not thirty minutes ago you were thinking about how anypony without perseverance as a special talent would have quit on her and the pony who had yelled at her and called her lazy and selfish had been one of her closest friends and the living embodiment of Generosity itself, but at least he tried. He'd also tried to talk her out of the rash course of action she had decided upon for herself, but it was too late. Before he could really think of anything to stop her, she'd telekineticly grabbed the letter opener, what had it even been doing out in the open he wasn't certain, and quickly used it upon herself. Looking at the bloodied instrument now floating in his own telekinetic grip, he said the only thing his kind could think of. "I wonder if I should put on some sunscreen before Luna banishes me to the bucking sun for letting this happen."