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// Chapter 9 
// Story: Resistance: Remain Human 
// by Hurgusburgus 
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Have you ever done or said something you come to regret later?

I am just going to go out on a limb here and say that I should have seen this coming. I am currently face-down in dirt, a rather particular white alicorn looming over me.

This has not been my best decision, by anyone’s yardstick.

“Oh, James! Are you okay?” I hear Celestia’s voice.
“Hhhgrrr.” I respond. “Hhhgrrr.” Master of linguistic eloquence, right here!
“James?”
“Oh, I’m just fine and dandy. I totally didn’t break five ribs and dislocate my shoulder. I also didn’t break my right arm!” Sarcasm, ahoy!
“I’m so, so sorry about this, but I’ve recently had some rather trying days. I’ve been keeping this anger all pent-up inside me.”
“So what, you’ll hire me as your personal stress ball to break and smash over and over again, abusing my regenerative abilities?”
“I… what? No! But you told me you’d be there and when I saw nor hide nor hair from you, I… lost my temper.” She finishes sheepishly.
“You don’t say.”

How did this happen?
Well, it all started two months ago. Winter had passed and ended on a day every single pony name ‘Winter Wrap Up’. When I heard the description, I got the mother of all migraines. I mean, seriously! Fred, of course, was ecstatic.
Seeing as we’d been very well-behaved flesh-eating monsters, Celestia got the bright idea to invite us to the big annual get-together at the capital and introduce us to the pony folk proper. From what Twilight and others told me, it was basically a bunch of rich, stuck up snobs in a big hall, all of them acting like you’re dirt on ground and that they shit gold and everything they say is a revelation that should be written down in the annals of history.

Grand Galloping Gala.

Grand fecking Galloping fecking Gala FECKING FECK
Calm yourself, James. No need to explode like th-

FECK

I’m not a people person. Or a pony person, for that matter. Most likely, I’d end up eating someone because they wouldn’t stop annoying me. Or something along those lines. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, Winter Wrap Up is when it started, I guess. Fred had been allowed to lend a hand, much to his immense happiness. The town echoed with his deep baritone singing as he belted the song out along with other ponies. Alice had been kind enough to drop by the apothecary and bring me some aspirin to cure my Fred’s singing-induced migraine. She and the rest of Yanks had settled down in Ponyville rather comfortably, with jobs and all. The Chimeran fraction of us elected to remain at the farm, seeing as the presence of big, toothy monsters with glowing yellow eyes tended to have a negative effect on ponies. Who would’ve thought, eh?
…I was being sarcastic, by the way.

We were at Twilight’s library. Well, most of us. Fred had to sit outside. We were patiently waiting for Twilight and Celestia to finish their conversation they were having in the kitchen. Of course, after ten minutes of waiting, I got bored and decided to go and get a glass of water.

In hindsight, that was not all too wise of me to do. As I closed the door after me, I was instantly gifted with nightmare fuel for years to come.
Apparently, Twilight and Celestia were in a relationship and were, uh… being consummate about it. To put it simply, they were making out on the kitchen table. And now I’d walked in on them.
Oops.
Celestia looked up, an expression of surprise and shock on her face.
“James!? What-“ She was interrupted as Twilight rolled off the table, trying desperately to tidy herself.
“James! I told you to wait in the living room!” The purple unicorn calls out indignantly.
“I was thirsty! I only wanted to get some water!” I shot back. “The real question is what are you two doing here?” Celestia looks away guiltily at that, and turns back to me after a moment.
“Well, me and Twilight… we’re in love.”
“Okay.”
“That’s all you’re going to say, James?”

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I’M TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT, LADY

My internal scream went unheard, however. I simply nodded in response.
“I presume you’re going to make me keep this a secret, Celestia. I have only a single request of you.” She sighs heavily, but nods, walking over to me, puckering up and leaning closer.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Celestia?” I declare flatly, not amused.
“But I thought-“
“NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND. I’d be perfectly fine if you could provide me with some meat.”
“Uh…” She stutters, surprised.
“Meat! Steak, beef, pork, ham, I’m not picky! Just show me where I can find some!” She frowns for a moment, but then smiles.
“I’m sure the Griffon Embassy has some in store. Allow me to write a letter of permission to them so there’s not trouble when you go there.”
“Okay. Now, what did you want to tell us back there? We’re kinda getting impatient.”
“We’ll be there in a minute, James.”
“Okay.” As I turn to leave, Celestia places a hoof on my shoulder.
“James. Nopony must hear of this. Please, promise me you will keep this a secret.”
“Okay, Celestia. If it’s such a big deal to you, I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thank you. Now, if you don’t mind…”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll leave. Just hurry up, would you?” I muttered in response, leaving.

It was another blissfully mind-numbing ten minutes we spent sitting there before the two lovebirds decided to grace us with their presence.

“It has been almost a year since you and your friends arrived at Equestria, James. I have watched and judged you all. And, even though I had my doubts, none of you have ever abused the trust I invested in you. For that, you all are granted Equestrian citizenship, effective immediately. To that end, you all are also invited to the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. I trust that Twilight will explain everything to you. I must leave now. I hope to see you all at the Gala.” As she exited the library, I followed, needing to say her something.

“Celestia!”
“Yes, James?” I pause for a moment, thinking how best to put this.
“I’m not going.”
“Excuse me?”
“To that Gala. I’m not going to be there.” That seems to sadden her.
“Can you at least tell me why?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t really like big get-togethers. I’m not a people person. The way I see it, I’d be more trouble than good there.”
“Won’t you at least give it the benefit of doubt? Please. You have always been so distant and untrusting. You need to open up to others. Give us a chance, will you?”
“I’m not promising anything, Celestia, but I guess you’re right. S’pose I’ll be there.” The alicorn in front of me smiles graciously, nodding.
“That’s all I ask. On a side note, I’ll send your letter for the Embassy to Sweet Apple Acres. Expect it to arrive at the end of this week, if not faster. Your tickets to the Gala will arrive tomorrow. Be sure to check with Rarity if you are in need of fine apparel.” With that, she took off, flying away.

Twilight and Celestia, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-

NO

I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of such thoughts. Well, best get back to the farm, I suppose.

“Hey, there, James! How’d it go?” Apple Bloom trotted up to me, smiling happily. After the initial shock of realising I’d be living with her family, the two of us eventually went on to become thick as thieves.
“Hey, Apple Bloom. Pretty well, all things considered. Your princess gave us all a pat on the head for being nice wee beasties.” I should cut down on the sarcasm. Maybe sell it as food additive.
“Why’re ya so angry at the princess?”
“Eh, it’s complicated. I don’t really have anything against being a citizen here, but she should’ve asked for our opinion first. And she invited us to the Grand Galloping Gala, whatever that is.”
“No way! She really did that?”
“Yep. I guess it’s a really big deal, eh?”
“Y’have no idea, James! Ya could ask mah sister ‘bout it, y’know. She was there th’ last year. Ah’m sure she could show ya the ropes.”
“I’ll have to ask her about that, then. Thanks, Apple Bloom.”
“Think nothin’ of it.” She smiled, trotting away to do some Crusading, I guess.

It’s been a while since we settled down at the farm. With Celestia’s permission, Jen had set up a small workshop nearby where she could be found most of the time, working on her project. She’d gotten in her mind to build a Chimeran power core. How she knows the blueprints to that sort of tech – no idea, but there it is. Other than that, she repairs anything the ponies bring over that’s broken.
Ted works as a courier, delivering packages all over the town. He seems happy enough. Fluttershy’s doing some sort of training with him, to get some of his jitteriness go away.
Fred is a babysitter, or should I say a foalsitter? Anyways, he is always busy with his slowly-growing flock of sorts. Even though his outer appearance made many ponies hesitant to let him be the caretaker of their kids at the beginning, they warmed up to him eventually.
Me, I was happy enough with doing farmwork. Helps me to sort of organize my thoughts.
“Hey, James!” I heard Applejack greet me and I wave in response. “So, how’d it go? Everythin’ alright?”
“Yep.” I nodded, retelling what Celestia had announced at the library.
“Well, Ah’ll be! Y’all are invited to th’ Gala?”
“It seems so. You’re going as well, I presume?”
“Well, yeah. Th’ princess sent us the invitations last week. Ah jus’ hope it goes better than th’ last year.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I went there t’sell some food, y’know, to earn some money for our farm. Over the entire evenin’, I sold only a single apple pie. It certainly wasn’t the best night ever Ah had.”
“And this time, we’ll be accompanying you.”
“This can only go down good.” Applejack, ever the optimist, flashed a smile. I felt inclined to agree with her, my own pessimism aside. We had only caused minor ruckus in Ponyville, but weren’t known in any other towns or settlements. Or Canterlot, for that matter.
“We’ll get ya over to Rare’s an’ she’ll get ya the fanciest suit ever!”

Scratch that. It’s going to be a nightmare.