//------------------------------//
// That Sounds Like A Challenge 
// Story: Not My Little Diamond 
// by MagerBlutooth 
//------------------------------//

Chpt. 14 - That Sounds Like A Challenge

Monday, March 31st 

"Are you sure Rainbow Dash will be okay by herself?" Twilight asked for the third time that past hour as she and her friends followed Princess Celestia up the steep, grassy hill.

"I think we can trust Rainbow Dash to look after her element on her own for a few hours," Celestia replied. "She is the Element of Loyalty after all."

Twilight quickened her pace to walk at the princess’s side. "I know, but don’t you think it’s a bit risky to be coming all this way out here without her? All it takes is to lose one, and the other five become useless."

"It’ll be fine, Twilight," the princess replied with a reassuring smile. "I have my guards on the lookout for signs of this threat all over Equestria. If it were to show up now, I could get us back to Ponyville before it could even sneeze on Rainbow’s necklace."

"R-right, of course, Princess Celestia," Twilight said. "I’m sorry. I should know better than to doubt your good judgment." 

"It’s quite alright, Twilight. I do wish we were able to find Rainbow Dash, though. I was hoping this would be something all of you would be able to see."

Twilight looked up toward at princess's smiling face. "I know you said it was a surprise, Princess, but do you think you could at least--ah!" Twilight winced in pain, briefly placing her hoof to her head as her train of thought was interrupted. 

"I’m sorry, Princess Celestia. I’ve been getting these pretty malicious headaches for the past week now. I think I might be coming down with something."

Celestia frowned as she glanced down at her student. "You know, Twilight, if the responsibility of looking after that crown is beginning to take its toll on you, I can look into alternative means of protecting it for the remainder of the week."

Twilight’s eyes widened in a sudden burst of outrage. "No!" she shouted, catching herself before she began her tirade. She stiffened her posture and plastered an awkward smile across her face as she said in a much calmer tone, "I mean, that won’t be necessary. I’m fully capable of handling the responsibility for five more days. Besides, when this threat attacks us, I’d feel much better if this crown were on my head than in a vault somewhere."

Celestia had to giggle at her student’s determination. "I suppose you have a point. Just make sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard. If what you said is true about this threat spying on us, we need to be certain now more than ever that we're in good condition to face it."

Twilight took a quick glance back down the hill. "That reminds me, Princess. Are you absolutely sure it’s not him?" She looked again to get another look at the orange-haired stranger that had also accompanied them on their long hike. 

Mork didn’t appear too eager to follow them. His pace was slowing down the group's skyward advance. Fluttershy and Pinkie were sticking closer to him than even the princess’s own two guards, making sure he was feeling okay and listing all the things they were going to do later, respectively. 

Meanwhile, Applejack and Rarity chose to keep their distance, though they were probably paying him more attention than anypony else. Rarity wore an umbrella hat as an oddly specific precaution against the creature, and Applejack kept distrustfully clutching onto her own hat every time she thought she saw him glancing over at her.

Mork, however, didn’t seem to be paying mind to much of anything. He continued to mechanically respond to Fluttershy’s questions with an appropriate number of ‘morks’ as his claws looked to dig deeper into the ground with every step. He was walking on all fours again despite how much more comfortable he seemed on his hind legs, and in spite of the balloon hat Pinkie had placed on his head, his ever-present smile had disappeared. If he were a pony, one might have thought he was sulking.

"As sure as I’ll raise the sun tomorrow," Celestia insisted with an aura of confidence, "but I think you’ll understand once we reach our destination."

"And, uh, where exactly would that be?" Applejack asked, immediately getting an emotionless stare from one of Celestia’s guards in response. "Uh, I mean, if you don’t mind me asking." 

"Hopefully it’s somewhere with a suitable cushion to lie on," Rarity wheezed from the back of the group as she struggled to keep up with even Mork. "All this exercise can’t possibly be healthy for me."

"It must be somewhere pretty special," Twilight theorized, looking over the map of Equestria she had brought with her. "I can’t even find where we are anymore."

"Why don’t you take a look for yourself?" Celestia asked in return, coming to a stop as they arrived at the summit of the hill. "We’ve just arrived."

Twilight looked up from her map to see what was to behold, utterly baffled at the sight in front of her. After walking for nearly three hours, they had finally arrived at a large, open plateau where a single tree at the far edge was all that prevented it from being nothing but flat land as far as one could see. The tree had no leaves, appearing to be dead by every stretch of the imagination, and the few patches of grass that could be found were withered and yellow. Everything else consisted of dirt and mud. 

The field was completely unoccupied, which made it a good place to discuss something private, but there didn’t seem to be anything special about it that would explain why the princess insisted they come all the way out here instead of just going to the library like she had suggested.

"Wow! Look at all this mud!" Pinkie exclaimed, diving into a thick, wet pile of it for a bit of free-spirited wallowing. "It’s like a giant mud monster got a runny nose and then blew up!"

"I’d say there must be about two whole acres of land up here. Any chance you’re looking to sell this here field?" Applejack asked one of the guards, receiving a rigid head shake in return.

The last to reach the hill’s peak, Rarity stepped forward to take a closer look, immediately grimacing as if she had arrived at the summit of a volcano. Trying to be polite, she smiled and said, "Princess Celestia, if you don’t mind me saying so, please tell me we didn’t come all this way just to trudge through mud. I just got my mane looking spiffy again, and I’d prefer to keep it that way." 

She shot Mork another angry, one-eyed glare at the thought of their previous encounter. The embarrassment of the princess seeing her partly orange had left a haunting stain on her short-term memory, and she wouldn’t dare allow something like it to happen again.

"It’s okay, Rarity," Celestia cordially replied. "I know it looks a bit crude, but appearances can be deceiving." The princess’s eyes shined bright white, and her horn lit up to match. Without another word of warning, she released a golden beam of magic straight into the center of the open field, and the others had to shield their eyes as the entire area was encompassed in a bright flash of light from the expansive burst of magic. 

After it receded, Pinkie was left rolling around in a mound of finely-trimmed grass, her coat still covered in the mud that had originally caught her attention. She stopped rolling for a moment to notice the change and then continued.

"Princess, what just...happened?" Twilight asked, her eyes refocusing to the setting in front of her. The formerly-dead tree now looked as if it was the very source of life itself, bearing leaves with colors that didn’t even appear in the fall. Ignoring Pinkie, there wasn’t a speck of mud or dirt left to be found, instead a perfectly-grazed field of vibrant, green grass encompassing the entire space. 

However, the biggest and most noticeable change was the addition of the narrow path of pure, white marble. The perfectly-chiseled path led to a monumental, azure canvas tent that towered over them, princess and all.

"Not what you’d expect to find here, is it?" the princess playfully asked her student, prompting a speechless shake of the head from the stunned mare. Aside from the one rolling around like a pill bug, all of Twilight’s friends had become captivated by the transformed setting. Even Mork's eye seemed to have been caught by the impressive sight. 

"I don’t believe it!" Pinkie exclaimed while staring at everything upside-down in the grass. "Princess Celestia’s taking us to the circus!"

"Not quite, Pinkie," Celestia corrected. "You see, to most ponies, the summit of this hill is just an empty wasteland, completely devoid of life and purpose." Celestia turned around to face her audience that looked to be having trouble processing everything. "Because of its steep incline and bare summit, very few ponies bother scaling it, and those who do generally turn right around upon seeing what’s at the top."

Celestia met Twilight’s gaze with a regal smile as the wind picked up. "However, as you can see, this hill is far from empty. In fact, the top of this hill is actually the single most magical location in all of Equestria." 

A soft thud immediately followed the princess’s statement, shocking the awestruck mares out of their daze. 

"Mork? Mork!" Fluttershy exclaimed as she caught sight of the creature that had collapsed onto its back right next to her. His colorful hat had fallen off, his eyes had gone swirly, and a tiny bit of drool was slipping out of the corner of his mouth as he neglected to respond to the concerned pegasus’s inquiries. 

"Is he all right, Fluttershy?" the princess asked, her voice infected with concern.

"I…I don’t know. He was just fine a minute ago." Fluttershy said, waving her hoof in front of Mork’s face.

"He has done quite a bit of walking today. Maybe he’s just exhausted," Twilight proposed as she took a closer look at the fallen creature.

"Oh, I knew I should have carried him," Fluttershy chastised herself as she checked his vitals.

"It could be the heat. Maybe we oughta get him out of the sun," Applejack suggested, placing her hoof to her forehead as she glanced toward the sky.

"Good thinking, Applejack," Rarity agreed as she stepped onto the marble path. "This creature simply can’t afford the change in skin tone if it’s going to continue wearing this outfit." 

"I suppose it’s settled then," Celestia chimed in. "Let’s all head inside. There’s much I have to explain to you all."

By Fluttershy’s request, Mork was gently and carefully lifted onto the back of one of the guards. After those seven minutes had passed and Pinkie finally stopped rolling around in the turf, the group of curious ponies followed their princess on towards the unknown confines of the alluring, blue tent. 

Twilight shoved the cloth that made up the front entrance aside, and Applejack held it open to let the rest of them in. The orange mare instinctively grabbed hold of her hat again as the guard carrying Mork entered, trying to pass it off that she was just straightening it. The guard gave her yet another blank stare. 

After they had all entered, the five mares were left to face the contents of the tent, and visually, it certainly didn’t disappoint. While the external walls of the tent were a vivid blue, the inside walls were a bright, fluorescent swirl of color that almost made the walls look like they were moving. An enormous, transparent sphere hung down from the tent’s roof, giving off a faint, purple aura as it slowly rotated above them; a large telescope stuck out of a gigantic opening on the tent’s back wall; and a vast number of considerably large objects resembling stars in the night sky floated in place throughout the tent’s atmosphere like they were each held still by some invisible force.

"Welcome to Twinklespark," Celestia began, "the single most significant and well-hidden location for all magical research in Equestria. In fact, you could call it the birthplace of magic."

"I’d just as soon believe it was the birthplace of interior design," Rarity gushed as she felt the material that made up the tent’s colorful walls. 

"For generations," the princess continued, "the most well-renowned unicorns in Equestrian history have been invited here to assist in the research and development of the most powerful spells known to ponykind. Over three out of every four spells ever created has their roots within these walls, and only half of those are even known outside of them."	

Twilight felt as if a steel girder had just been placed on her tongue. Perhaps it was the constantly changing colors on the walls, but she was finding it difficult to keep her balance as she took in the entrancing sight, wondering if she'd be the next one to collapse.

Applejack, picking up on Twilight’s fitting speechlessness, felt the need to speak up, nudging her friend as she prompted, "Well, ain’t this the bee's buzzer, Twilight? I bet you got a whole storm a questions to ask the princess, huh?"

Twilight’s eyes had grown wide as bowling balls. She looked down at the grass that made up the floor, finding herself unable to stop considering what other great unicorns had stood in the exact spot she was standing. A few random consonant sounds and a brief exhalation were the best responses she could manifest.

Realizing she’d have better luck getting Mork to talk at this rate, Applejack tried to save her friend from further embarrassment by asking, "So, Princess, what is it that you wanted to bring us here for? You come up with some fancy new spell to help us protect these here Elements?" She held her necklace up with her hoof to clarify.

"Actually, I brought you here because of Mork," Celestia explained, glancing over at the creature her guard had placed onto a cerulean couch set up near the massive telescope.

"Aha!" Pinkie exclaimed, popping up behind the sofa. "So Mork was a really powerful unicorn all along! I should have known." She eyed him suspiciously, poking the top of his forehead where his horn was supposed to be.

"Pinkie, that don’t make two licks a sense," Applejack argued with a shake of the head as Fluttershy quietly urged Pinkie to stop poking the unconscious creature.

Pinkie pondered Applejack’s statement before licking Mork’s hair twice and smacking her lips together to get the taste. Then, she smiled and replied, "I guess you’re right, Applejack. Mork can’t be a unicorn. If he was, Rarity would be all over him."

"Beg pardon?" Rarity asked, hearing her name mentioned while she admired the large, decorative sphere hanging from the ceiling.

Celestia concurred as she approached the couch herself, "No, he’s not a unicorn, but he is helping us with a very important spell here at Twinklespark." 

"Oh!" Fluttershy exclaimed as she eagerly ran up to the alicorn. "Does that mean you know what Mork is and where he came from?"

The princess smiled at Fluttershy’s eagerness. "Actually, that-"

"Would you look at this thing?" Pinkie asked while standing at the very top of the gigantic telescope. "This is the biggest magnifying glass I’ve ever seen! I bet I could see the spots on Mr. Cake’s muzzle from here!" Pinkie looked through the lens at the top of the telescope, finding it odd at how small and upside-down everything inside it looked.

"Pinkie, get down from there this instant!" Rarity shouted. "You’re getting mud all over the princess’s nice telescope!"

"Huh?" Pinkie asked as she looked back up, turning around and flicking off more mud from her mane in the process.

"Would you just get down from there?" Rarity urged. "You’re behaving most disrespectfully, and in front of the princess no less."

"Okey dokey," Pinkie agreed, disappearing behind the telescope and reappearing right next to Rarity to give her an affectionately muddy hug in an attempt to lighten her sour mood. Rarity’s hair uncurled for a second as she stifled her reaction to the filthy embrace as best as she was able.

"As you were saying, Princess?" the now-slightly muddy unicorn uttered behind a failing smile.

"Yes, of course. I wanted to start by introducing you all to a good friend of mine. He’s one of my most trusted magical researchers and is currently the head overseer of affairs here at Twinklespark. His name is--"

Before Celestia could finish, one of the many orbs of light hovering around the room began glowing much brighter than the others. As the six mares looked up to notice its shine, an opulent, purple bubble was suddenly ejected straight out if it, crashing into the ground. After colliding with the grassy floor, the bubble popped to reveal a wrinkled, white unicorn who wasn’t quite able to stick the landing.

"Always trying to make an entrance, aren’t you, Shooting?" the princess joked as the elderly unicorn dusted himself off from his rough arrival. He wore a large, pointy hat as gray as his mane, which was tilted in a way so that his horn was still visible; his coat matched Celestia’s in shade, though it seemed to be slightly dirtier; and he appeared quite nimble for his age considering the recovery from his gravity-assisted entrance. 

What was most unusual about him, though, was how much hair he possessed. He had so much facial hair that none of his face was even visible, his mane covered his body to the point where his cutie mark couldn’t even be seen, and his tail looked long enough for him to trip over and let it catch his fall.

"It’s nice to see you too, Princess," he pleasantly replied in a creaky voice that truly showed his age. He turned to face the five mares standing on the other side of the telescope. "Now then, you must be the protectors of the Elements of Harmony. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Princess Celestia has told me quite a bit about you, especially you, Twilight Sparkle."

"She...she has?" Twilight asked, her tongue finally remembering how to move again.

"Of course," Shooting replied with a suspicious snicker, his teeth suddenly gleaming through his beard, "That is why she’s brought you here so I can gauge your true potential in a magical duel!"

"Say what now?" Applejack asked, almost as surprised at the sudden change in the stallion’s temperament as she was of his bold declaration.

Shooting’s horn lit up with a distinctly black hue as his smile distorted into a sinister grin. "The rest of you are not to interfere. You have been brought merely to observe. This is simply a test of raw magical ability." Shooting released a stream of magic around himself, causing him to grow three times his normal size. He peered down at Twilight, his eyes concealed by his beard and his toothy grin still shining through it.

"But don’t be so foolish as to think you have a chance, Twilight Sparkle," he boasted, his voice echoing throughout the tent. "I am Shooting Star, master of Twinklespark and author of more spells than you could possibly imagine! The power I possess is without limit!" His horn lit up again, causing the star-like objects scattered throughout the room to orbit around him as his wicked smile reached its apex.

Twilight took a step backwards from the display, her eyes wide with terror. She had never heard of a powerful unicorn named Shooting Star, but if he was the one in charge of the essential birthplace of magic in Equestria, she couldn’t see how she was supposed successfully duel against him. To face a unicorn with that much prestige was beyond her current abilities, and she hadn’t even had any time to prepare. She unconsciously looked to her princess for some reassurance, but Celestia had closed her eyes and was looking away.

"So then, Twilight Sparkle," Shooting bellowed, taking an aggressive step forward that knocked Twilight on her haunches, "now that you know what you’re up against, do you accept my challenge?"

Twilight rapidly glanced between the colossal unicorn and her friends. "Can...can I take a rain check?" she nervously inquired with a forced smile.

Shooting dropped his smile and the orbital path of the stars around him came to a halt. After a brief moment of silence, he spiraled into an uproar of laughter that seemed to shake the entire hill around them. However, his laughter wasn’t malicious. It was more like the laughter of a young colt after seeing a circus clown spray itself with seltzer. 

"Princess Celestia," he bombastically wheezed between chuckles, "where do you keep finding these students of yours?"

"You’re one to talk, Shooting," Celestia replied, glancing back up with a smile on her face. "You used to write me letters with nothing but the word ‘hi’ written on them just so I’d have to write you back."

Shooting shook his oversized head. "Well, it would have kept working if you didn’t start responding with ‘hello’."

Celestia let out a chuckle of her own. "All right, Shooting, I let you have your fun. Now, why don’t you tell them why we really brought them here?"

"You’re the princess," he replied, casting a black swirl of magic around himself. After his aura consumed him, he suddenly exploded, causing a shockwave of small, colorful candy to fly in all directions. About half a second after he exploded, he popped out from behind the telescope. "Hope I didn’t scare you too much with my challenge, Twilight Sparkle. I never get to show anypony my powers these days. It’s all just work; there’s never any time for fun."

"No fun?" Pinkie exclaimed with a mouth full of candy. "You can explode into candy! What’s not fun about that?"

"It’s work candy." Shooting picked up a piece off the ground with his magic. "I have to fill out three forms if I want to eat it."

Pinkie looked at it with a bit of pity in her eyes as she continued chewing. "It still tastes good, though."

"I apologize, Twilight," Celestia stated as Twilight got back onto her hooves. "When I told Shooting I wanted to bring you all here, he said he play with you a little when you first met. I said it would be fine as long as he didn’t overdo it." She glared at him as a mother would to a disobedient child, trying to hold back her smile.

Upon hearing the princess’s apology, any anger Twilight might have been feeling towards the master of facial hair was quashed. "I understand, Princess Celestia," she said with a smile. "I know how boys can be. I was just worried my position as your student might have been in jeopardy or something."

"That couldn’t be further from the truth, Twilight," Celestia assured. "If it was, I never would have brought you to Twinklespark. As I said, it’s the most well-kept secret in all of Equestria. Not even my sister knows about it."

"R-really? Not even Princess Luna has been here?" Twilight replied, a bit awestruck. Her tongue tensed up again as a slight blush appeared on her face. She had to turn away only to catch sight of the unconscious guest, her mind grabbing hold of her tongue before it froze again. "But wait, then why did you let him in here?"

Shooting’s eyebrows shot up on his otherwise hair-concealed face as he caught sight of the couch himself. "Is that it?" he asked the princess excitedly, who pleasantly nodded in response. 

As if she had just informed him that Mork was his long-lost grandson, Shooting immediately teleported over to the couch and continued teleporting in order to examine the creature from every angle with an almost childish zeal. "What’s his name?" he asked excitedly. "Somepony tell me his name!"

"His name’s Mork," Fluttershy eagerly replied, looking the animal over once again for signs of regained consciousness.

Shooting leaned over the couch to stare down the group of mares. "What can you tell me about him? Anything interesting? Tell me he’s interesting!"

"His head’s full of ice cream and soda!" 

"His gait is surprisingly fickle." 

"He ain’t the slowest critter I ever seen." 

"He alphabetizes fabric by color!" 

Shooting stared at them blankly for a moment. "I knew it!" he exclaimed as his horn lit up to make a camera appear. He teleported erratically around the couch again, snapping pictures of Mork like a madpony.

As the sporadic photo session continued, Applejack had to mumble to Rarity, "Is it me or is this guy really excited about this Mork critter?"

"Why wouldn’t I be?" Shooting shouted as he appeared right behind the two, making them both jump. "This is the result of hundreds of years of research." He grabbed hold of Rarity, squeezing her face in his hooves as he prattled, "This is Equestrian history unfolding right before our very eyes."

"Research? What kind of research?" Twilight asked, her scientific curiosity getting the better of her.

"Perhaps you should explain it to them from the beginning, Shooting," Celestia suggested.

Shooting nodded. "Right, right, let me start with this." His horn lit up and pulled one of the star-like objects within reach. "Can anypony tell me what this thing is?" he asked, placing his hoof over top of it.

"Is it more candy?" Pinkie asked after a large swallow. "Because we just ran out."

"Well, considering the way you just flew right out of it, I’d say it’s some kind of portal," Twilight deduced, giving the orb of light a quick once-over. 

"Very good, Twilight; it is indeed some kind of portal, but it’s a bit different than the kind you may be used to seeing. Would you care to see for yourself?"

Pinkie’s eyes sparkled. "Oh, I would! I would care! Let me see!" She bounced over Twilight, getting within an inch of the light in front of her.

"All right, Springy, put this on." Shooting shoved a large, glass bowl on top of Pinkie’s head, then motioned her to take a look inside the shining ball of light.

Pinkie shoved her head inside, leaving only her body visible to the rest of them. Her voice echoed from within the orb as she said, "Wow, this even better than candy! Look at all the colors! All two of them! Ooh! Is that the ocean I hear?" She made a hissing noise with her mouth, sounding like a insistently shushing librarian.

"Pinkie, what’s going on in there?" Rarity asked with unrelenting curiosity seeping through her words.

Pinkie stuck her head back out to respond "The black and white bugs won’t stop fighting each other, and the snakes are all playing hide and seek."

"What?" Twilight asked, approaching the light to take a peek herself. Shooting shoved another fishbowl on her head as she leaned forward to look inside. Oddly enough, the way Pinkie described it made more sense than what she actually saw. 

It was an entirely open space, stretching out as far as she could see, much like how Twinklespark Hill looked at first. However, this open space was much different. Everywhere she looked, all she could see was a collection of black and white dots jittering around with no discernible movement pattern. In addition to that, a loud, reverberating ocean-like noise was coming from apparently everywhere at once. It was the most bizarre sight she’d ever witnessed, and she quickly pulled away from the light in utter silence as she tried to fathom what in the name of meaning it was. 

"Most ponies gasp," Shooting stated as he released the orb, letting it float back to its position above them. "You can gasp if you want."

Hearing a gasp, Twilight and Shooting looked over to the couch to see Rarity noticing Mork starting to drool on the linen upholstery. The white mare noticed she was being noticed and gave a sheepish apology to save face.

"You see," Shooting continued, "these aren’t the ho-hum everyday portals we make to instantaneously get from the bakery to the driving range." He brought another ball of light down with his magic. "These are portals to other worlds."

"Other worlds?" Twilight repeated both out of intrigue and disbelief. "You mean like other planets?"

Shooting grimaced. "Other planets? You mean space travel? No, no, no, you’re talking about flying through an empty bunch of nothing at millions of miles per second to get to some stupid, empty rocks floating in darkness. We looked into that here one weekend. We put Equestrian flags in every corner of the solar system, documented every star that a pony could wish upon, and we even found the point where space ends and time begins, but all we managed to learn was how boring our universe really is."

"We?" Rarity asked as she rejected Pinkie’s offer to wear the fishbowl next.

"My colleagues and I," Shooting said. "They’re usually scattered all over this tent working on their various projects, but they get the day off today in celebration of our recent breakthrough." He glanced over at the princess who returned a closed-eyed apologetic smile in response.

"All right, I suppose I better see what all the fuss is about," Applejack said as she placed Pinkie’s bowl on her head to take a peek into the second orb Shooting had brought down. It wasn’t two seconds before she jerked her head back out with nothing but alarm on her face. "What in the hay kind of world is that supposed to be?"

Shooting smiled again. "Actually, what you're seeing is not the other world I’m referring to. What you’re looking at is the hallway we take to get there."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked, taking a look in the second portal to find it was the same as the first.

"Think of it like this: imagine we live in a house next to another house, but neither house has any windows, doors, or even a chimney. So we can’t get into the other house even if we could get out of ours. How do we get between the houses?"

"Get a better real estate agent?" Pinkie suggested.

"No need. Windows and doors just overcomplicate life. All we need to do is dig a tunnel between the two houses. Then we’ll have complete access between both whenever we want. That’s where these little beauties come in." Shooting affectionately patted the ball of light as Fluttershy finished looking inside. "These are the ‘tunnels’ we’re making into other worlds. They’re called twinkles, and they happen to be the product of the spell that founded Twinklespark over eight hundred years ago."

"That’s amazing! How do they work? How do you make them?" Twilight zealously inquired as she walked around the glowing sphere.

"I can answer that. It’ll take three months," Shooting replied with a bit of humor in his voice as Twilight’s eyes drooped in annoyance. "Here’s the basic idea: each of these twinkles is a different gateway into that tunnel of black and white dots you just saw, and at the other side of each of these tunnels is a bold, exciting new world full of new life for us to study and explore."

"At least, that’s what we believed to be true," Celestia added as she stepped into the discussion.

"Huh?" Twilight asked, momentarily distracted from staring at the glowing ball of light.

"I think Mork here’s proof enough to confirm that theory, Princess," Shooting responded a bit arrogantly.

Celestia rolled her eyes at the stallion’s tone. "Very well, Shooting. You win the bet. You’ll get your milkshake later. Now how about telling them the rest of the story?"

Shooting grabbed the twinkle with his magic and brought it right next to him. "You see, the space inside these twinkles is completely uninhabitable. They lack air, heat, food, and any form of existing life. You’d have better luck surviving in an active volcano while it’s erupting than you would in here."

"Is that why we have to wear these bowls to look inside it?" Twilight asked as she took the one she was wearing off her head.

"That’s right. We’ve been able to use magic to find a number of ways to get inside them, but the other problem we’ve had has proven to be a bit more troublesome."

"Is it the noise?" Fluttershy guessed.

"The monotony?" Rarity asked.

"The lack of board games?" Pinkie said.

"The length!" Shooting energetically replied, hopping a bit into the air as if to emphasize his statement. "The tunnel’s too long! I’m talking waiting-in-line-at-the-amusement-park-on-a-Saturday long." He summoned a chalkboard with his magic, which featured a bunch of numbers and symbols scrawled across it. "Based on our calculations, we found that even writing this random assortment of equations didn’t help us figure out how long it would take even a Wonderbolt to cross it."

"Hang on a second," Applejack piped up. "If y’all can’t get across the thing, howd’ya know there’s something on the other side?"

"Actually, we didn’t," Celestia stated, prompting a collective ‘huh’ from her audience of five.

Shooting bothered to explain, "The twinkle was the most ridiculous thing ever invented. Even though it was the spell that founded this place, no one knew what to do with it. Most just thought it was a blank, meaningless space with no inherent value, so the twinkles were merely used as decorations. That is, until my grandfather, Rising Star, got involved with it about a century ago."

Celestia stepped forward to continue, "Rising believed that the space within each and every twinkle was like an ocean, and at the other side of each one was a new world that would be able to show us more than we could possibly imagine. Many called him crazy for being so devoted to a world with nothing in it, but he would tell them--"

"Wait, Princess, let me say it!" Shooting interrupted before the princess could say anything else.

"All right, Shooting, go ahead," the princess amiably replied, giving him a nod to proceed.

Deepening his pitch to impersonate his grandfather’s voice, Shooting quoted, "Ask any common pony you can find what’s at the top of this hill, and what do you think they’ll tell you? The ponies of Twinklespark are tasked to discover what the common pony cannot, and yet you choose to fall for the same trick they do? If you lot want to change reality, you have to overcome how you perceive it."

"I swear you sound more like him every time you say it," Celestia said before Shooting continued with his story. 

"My grandfather spent his entire life trying to come up with a way to traverse that foreboding emptiness and prove his ‘ocean theory.’ He had an almost obsessive fascination with it. He invented a magical bubble that would allow him to roam freely throughout the space despite its unfavorable living conditions, he sent hundreds of bottled messages through each twinkle to see if he could make contact with the other side, and he even tried to gather some samples of those creepy black and white dots. However, he never seemed to be able to get anywhere with any of his tactics. The bubble was much too slow to surpass the tunnel’s great distance, none of his messages ever gave us one response, and the dots would dissolve before he could even put them in the jar.

"He was a great mind trying to overcome a seemingly unsolvable mystery," Celestia somberly said. "It was like he was trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece."

Shooting shook his head. "I’d say it was more like he was trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle with a missing jigsaw puzzle."

"Nevertheless, it was a challenge that Rising took head-on, and, before he passed, he finally came up with a spell that he was convinced would finally allow us to find that missing piece." Celestia nodded to Shooting who lit up his horn and sent a beam of black energy into the ground. 

A puddle of nearly-transparent goop began to bubble up out of the grass before it expanded and hovered in midair. The five mares gazed at it, each bearing a different expression that ranged from fascination to disgust.

"This is smooze, my grandfather’s opus magnum and one of the most innovative magical inventions in the history of Twinklespark." Shooting created a few spotlights to shine down on it as he proudly stood beside it.

"Smooze?" Rarity repeated unsurely.

"Why’d ya name it that?" Applejack asked, giving him a quizzical look.

"Look at it. What would you name it?" Shooting challenged.

Applejack took another look at the floating glob. "Smooze," she replied, her tone and expression flat.

"So what is this ‘smooze’?" Twilight asked, giving the substance a quick once-over.

Celestia chuckled softly and smiled. "Don't you see, Twilight?" she asked, prompting her student to perplexedly shake her head. "This is what brought Mork here."

"It...brought Mork here?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"You mean this thing managed to get through that tunnel?" Twilight asked. "How? It looks pretty sedentary to me."

"I told you looks can be deceiving, Twilight," Celestia said. "Smooze may not look like much, but I believe Rainbow Dash herself would have to strain herself to keep up with it once it hits top speed."

"It’s also got an appetite that could rival Inkie here," Shooting added, rubbing Pinkie’s mane as she chomped down on a pretzel.

"Sheesh, the way you’re talking about it, you’d think the thing’s a living, breathing critter," Applejack joked, causing Celestia and Shooting to look at each other and snicker.

"What’s so funny?" Twilight prompted, turning away from the smooze for a moment.

Celestia stopped laughing first to respond, "Girls, smooze is a living, breathing creature, and quite a unique one at that."

"It’s...alive?" Twilight asked, taken aback at the prospect of the notion. "But, how is that possible? You just created it right in front of us!"

"That’s what makes smooze such a miraculous innovation. It’s a magically created form of life. It may not be as complex as we are, but it’s not the dimmest bulb in the basement. Watch." Shooting turned towards the floating goo. "Smooze, bring me my pogo stick."

As Shooting finished his command, the mass of gunk jerked itself forward, almost instantaneously appearing by the far wall where a shiny, red pogo stick was lying against it. Upon making contact with the pogo stick, the goo engulfed it, warped back to the black-hatted stallion, and spit it out right at his hooves.

"Now, tell me that isn’t cool," he said, picking up his children's toy.

"Ooh! Me next! Me next!" Pinkie exclaimed as she bounced up to the hovering liquid. "Smooze, bring me seven cakes, three pies, and a mountain of frosting to cover them in!"

The goo held firm, merely wavering in place as a response.

Pinkie’s eyebrows furrowed. "Hey! Where’s my mountain, Shooty?"

"Smooze follows the same laws as any other intelligent creature," Shooting replied. "It can only do things it knows how to do. It doesn’t know where to get a mountain of frosting, so it ignores you."

"What a fascinating creature," Twilight stated, admiring the simplicity of the being’s design. "There’s so many questions I have to ask about it! I don’t even know where to start."

"I’ve got one," Fluttershy stated, her eyes cold and unforgiving. "What do you mean you used it to bring Mork here?"

Shooting looked to Celestia, who nodded in response before he explained, "Well, it’s pretty simple. We picked a random twinkle and told the smooze to go through it to see if there was anything on the other side. On the off chance it found something, we told it to just hover in one place until something made contact with it."

"I don’t follow. Why’d you tell it do that?" Twilight stated, a bit confused at the prospect.

"Have you ever been fishing, Twilight?" Shooting asked suddenly.

"Not personally," Twilight admitted, "but I’ve read quite a few books on the subject."

"So you can understand this general concept: It’s more effective to keep your fishing hook in one place than it is to move it around."

Realizing what he was implying, Fluttershy’s developing anger reached its boiling point. She gasped before shoving her nose right up against Shooting’s as she reprovingly asked, "You mean you grabbed Mork out of his home and dragged him here against his will? How dare you!"

Shooting nervously took a step backwards from the fuming pegasus. "D-don’t look at me. Princess Celestia was the one who approved it."

Fluttershy’s gaze shifted to Celestia, her anger fading into disappointment. "Princess, is this true?"

Celestia’s eyes were now shut, and she waited a few seconds before very solemnly replying, "The Star family has been at my side since the day I was forced to banish my sister to the moon. They’ve assisted my rule both in Canterlot and here at Twinklespark with an immeasurable amount of dedication. Rising Star believed in his dream of discovering what lay beyond that impassable tunnel so passionately that I couldn’t bear to see his efforts be in vain. Before he passed, I gave him my word that the mystery of the twinkle would be solved, even if he wasn’t there to see it come to pass. When he invented smooze all those years ago and told me his idea to make contact with another world, I agreed, provided that three conditions were met."

Shooting straightened his hat that Fluttershy had slightly tilted. "Her first condition was that the smooze wouldn’t just grab something against its will, so ha!" he childishly shouted to Fluttershy. 

"To meet this condition," Celestia explained, "we used a variation of the spell that you placed on the Elements of Harmony, Twilight. The smooze would only become visible to something that made contact with it, and we instructed the smooze to only grab something that willingly touched it"

"The second condition was that the safety of our world wasn’t at risk," Shooting said. "I wanted to help realize my grandfather’s dream, but I also wanted to avoid summoning a 300-ton rat-lizard that would swallow our planet before we could come up with what to name it." 

"This condition was a bit trickier to meet, but eventually Rising came up with something. He called it the Test of Harmony spell."

"I know that spell!" Twilight declared. "It’s a special barrier that determines if something’s compatible with the Elements of Harmony. If they are, it’ll turn purple and let them pass. Otherwise, it’ll just forcibly repel them. I cast it on an old disco ball in the library to make a forcefield to help protect the Elements." 

"Very resourceful of you, Twilight Sparkle," Shooting complimented as Pinkie sighed and shook her head. "It looks like great minds do indeed think alike." He looked up, admiring the glowing sphere hanging from the ceiling above them.

"Is that why you're so sure Mork isn’t evil, Princess?" Twilight asked as she glanced over at him again.

"That’s correct, Twilight. If Mork was indeed a malicious creature that came here to steal the Elements, the smooze would never have brought him here." 

Twilight stared at Mork for a moment as his arm slid off the couch and hung down close to the floor. "So, I guess Mork really couldn’t have been the one who wrote that letter."

"Not unless he had a very noble reason for doing so," Celestia reasoned.

Sounding a bit hurried, Shooting interrupted, "Well, I guess that takes care of the explanation stuff, so why don’t we take Mork back to Ponyville and introduce him to the-"

"Shooting?" Celestia interrupted. "The third condition?"

Shooting’s head dropped toward the ground. "I see there’s no point trying to get you to forget about that one."

"What’s the third condition?" Twilight asked.

The bearded one was sulking now, so Celestia explained for him, "Even if the creature came here willingly, I wanted to make it wasn’t being held here against its will. So, we’re going to let Mork go back home if he wishes."

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide as her ears fell flat. "Oh, that...that’s great," she quietly cheered, putting up her best smile. "Will...will we ever see him again?"

"No," Shooting bluntly replied.

"Shooting," Celestia harshly chided. "That’s not true. If Mork chooses to go back now, the smooze will go back with him, and he’ll be able to use it to come back anytime he wants."

"That may be," Shooting retorted, "but if he chooses to go back right now, why would he ever decide to come back?"

"I…I guess he wouldn’t," Fluttershy sadly consented.

"That’s no fun!" Pinkie complained. "We never even got to play one round of mini-golf! Where am I going to find somepony else to ride on the windmill blades with me now?"

"Yes, yes, it’s a shame he has to leave so soon," Rarity expressed as she comforted Fluttershy with a sorrowful disposition. "Well, all good things must come to an end I suppose."

"Don’t worry, girls," Shooting interjected, perking up a bit as he teleported right beside them. "I can promise you, there’s absolutely no way he’ll decide to leave. That’s why I made the walls so colorful and drew up all these twinkles as decoration. If Mork’s got even the slightest bit of childlike wonder, he won’t be going anywhere."

As if responding to his name, Mork stirred from his sleeping position, rubbing his head and groaning softly.

Everyone turned to see Mork slowly get up from his long-enduring slumber and open his large, questioning eyes as he inquiringly turned to see what was going on.





You know how wind-up toys work? You spin the key on their back, set them on solid ground, and then they walk two steps before they fall over and lead into the depressing silence. After they fall, they keep moving their feet as if there’s still a chance in reality that they can make it to the other end of the table, but it really just makes the sight all the more pitiful to watch.

You set the thing back up so it can try again, letting your childlike sense of wonder make you believe that it’ll finally take that third step and keep going on all the way into outer space, but then it just falls over again despite how long you twisted the key. Eventually, you realize that the only way you can get it across that table is to manually hold it steady and move its feet for it until it finally reaches the other side. By that point, you’re not playing with a wind-up toy anymore; you’re performing manual labor to accomplish something that isn’t even all that fun to begin with. You could be fixing a lamp and get the same amount of entertainment value. At least then you have the constantly looming chance of electrocution keeping you on edge. Oh, I’m not actually going anywhere with this thought. I just wanted to change the topic to distract myself from the colossal wind-up toy this adventure had become.

When the prestigious Princess Celestia ordered me to join her on her sporadic seven-mile hike across her kingdom, I knew I couldn’t refuse. The power of the crown was absolute, and the one wearing it always got what she wanted whether it be eternal youth or your head. 

Given what I knew about supernatural encounters, I imagined that she would take me to her castle to taunt my ineptitude and meager probability of defeating her before possibly making me face her three-headed pet rock golem in an unwinnable battle. After that, she’d probably cast me out into the wilderness somewhere with my inventory stripped and my life a shallow breath away from reaching its end, and I could just wing it from there.

Instead, she made that big blue tent appear out of nothing and got all superlative with the magic talk. Next thing I knew, I was on a couch in a room filled with color-changing walls, ethereal BGM, giant floating balls of light, and empathetic-looking horses. If all that didn’t spell ‘magic’, then the word had to have a ton of silent letters. 

After establishing my surroundings, it wasn’t three seconds after I jerked myself upright on that couch that my attention was stolen away by something familiar, floating, and gooey. 

I slid off the couch and crawled over to it, paying no mind to the dozen eyes watching as I did so. I almost believed it to be a magically-created mirage. However, once I got close enough to it, I knew that it had to be what I thought it was. The floating goo that had brought me here all those hours ago had made its dramatic return.

You know, Goo, I would have expected this from a secret, glowing door or maybe an owl with a postal agenda, but I thought we’d formed something close enough to a friendship to the point where you wouldn’t pull something like this. Obviously not, considering you plunged me into a fanciful world full of magic and wizardry that I couldn’t hope to find if I stayed back home. You’ve got to be the lowest form of scum there is. 

As I got within striking distance of the thing, the only horse I hadn’t seen before stepped in between us to introduce himself. He grabbed my left hand and started feverishly shaking it, claiming his name was Shooting Star. He was trying his hardest to hold back his excitement, but his smile was clearly visible even through that thick, gray beard that made up his face. His intro theme was composed almost entirely of synthetic instruments, giving it something of an alien feel and making it one of the best I’d heard yet.

I should stop by the sound test to hear some of these again later. They could make some nice jogging music in the summer. 

His pointy, gray wizard’s hat prevented me from wasting any time wondering what his views towards magic were, but I couldn't get a single ‘mork’ in before he chucked a stream of questions at me so rapidly that an auctioneer would have told him to slow down. My sleeping habits, my opinions on cheese, my favorite fictional character, my world’s record for longest time someone had the hiccups, he wanted to know everything and more. Eventually, the authoritative monarch managed to stop his question assault by telling him that all I could say was ‘mork’.

"Ah, so we’ve got a language barrier, huh? No problem. I made sure to be prepared for anything. Just leave it to me." He cracked his neck, and a faint, black aura emerged from his white horn, forcing me to take a step backward.

Don’t tell me. Is he about to cast a spell on me? What am I talking about? I’m in the magical headquarters of magic land. He probably cast about seven of them on me while I was out. No, that can’t be true. If he did that, I’d be wondering why water doesn’t sue rain for copyright infringement. Maybe if I can just stay nimble and avoid whatever comes out of that horn, I can still--

That was my last thought before he shot me dead center with a solid blast of unfiltered magic. It seemed my intelligence wasn’t as valuable as I believed if the concept of moving out of the way was really that difficult to grasp.

Soon enough, the magic stream stopped, and I got my first ever taste of its invasive, tingling sensation that resonated throughout my entire body. It felt even stranger than the rumors made it out to be. It was like hitting your funny bone while your arm was asleep. It was like being sticky on the inside while listening to Fluttershy talk. It was like getting tickled underwater while the BGM was really jazzy. It wasn’t really that bad. It was just plain weird.

As I suffered through the shame and disappointment of the last few seconds before the stupidity kicked in, my mind decided to jump to the topic of psychology of all things. I figured it was fitting that my last intelligent thought related to what used to be my sole intellectual pursuit. 

Lowering my head as my eyes pinched shut, I prepared for the worst as I felt myself slowly forgetting everything I knew about the placebo effect and post-hypnotic suggestion. Before long, it was all gone and I was an idiot.

Except I wasn’t. I continued to stand there, waiting for the magic to take its despicable effect. I figured any second now I’d start thinking that talking animals were funny and that taunting people before actually winning was a good idea, but nothing seemed to change. Even my narration wasn’t taking a hit, my vocabulary still sounding as pretentious and ostentatious as ever.

Was that not magic? No, that was definitely magic. No other substance could possibly tingle like that. What’s going on then? Why aren’t I stupid?

I reopened my eyes and looked to Mr. Star to see if he had somehow made a mistake or error with his spell, but he was just looking at me expectantly with that grin still shining through his beard. The others were looking to me with anticipation as well. Not knowing what to say, I said the only word I knew that was socially acceptable.

"Mork."

Mr. Star’s eyebrows fell and his smile scampered off into its hairy abode. "Not prepared enough it seems," he muttered as he gloomily turned away. 

"D-don’t feel bad, Shooting," Twolight said. "Maybe Mork’s language is too advanced for a translation spell. Maybe we just have to find some other way to learn it."

Mr. Star’s beard started swirling around in a circle. "Now there’s an idea! I’m going to get right to work on that!" His horn lit up again, and he disappeared right before my eyes, taking his electronic theme along with him.

"Uh, how exactly is he supposed to learn a language that’s made up of one word?" The orange one I’d name later asked, looking to the princess for the answer.

"He’ll find a way," Celestia responded as if what was said was somehow funny. "Shooting is almost more passionate about the smooze project than Rising was. He wanted so much to believe in what his grandfather said about the world beyond ours. I know he might seem a bit eccentric, but realizing his grandfather’s dream and finding something special about Mork means more to him than anything else."

Sense? Where did you go? Why’d you stop being made?

Celestia turned to me after she finished her obstructive explanation. "Now then, Mork, I apologize if we’ve caused you any inconvenience by bringing you here. I assure you we only wanted the best for both of our worlds. So, allow me to rectify the situation. If you wish to go home now, by all means, go ahead. I promise that I will do nothing in my power to stop you." She stepped out of the way of the goo and motioned toward it with her hoof.

Her words and actions caught me completely off-guard. After hesitantly moving within inches of the goo to make sure it wasn't a trick, I stared into the wavering whiteness of the glob and considered her proposal.

The majority of the world seemed maddeningly boring, and the parts that weren’t were infested with magic. Plus, since it was somehow still Monday, I could get back home and only have about seven hours of homework to catch up on. 

Also on the pro side, I'd be done with magic forever as long as I avoided those weird enchanted forests bordering my campus, Rook would only have had time to come up with about six new favors I owed him, and I could escape from these screwy multicolored walls before the vertigo kicked in. It sounded like going home was the automatic choice, but there was something in the back of my mind that made me hesitate.

Why wasn’t I affected by that spell? It doesn’t matter what the spell is; all magic is equal in its stupidity-inducing ability. Even spells designed to make you smarter make you dumb. How’s that for a design flaw? None of this adds up. Am I just immune to magic? Is that even possible? What could cause something like that? I can’t think of anything that would...hang on a second.

I raised my right hand up to my face to check for something, and what I found was almost too informative. 

My hand was still shiny. 

And so was my other hand. 

So was my arm. 

So was my shirt, so were my legs, so was the floor, so were all six of the magical horses, and so was everything else I could see. The entire world around me was shiny, which technically made my hands look normal again.

I see. Goo, you sly puddle. You coated me with some kind of anti-magical glaze when you ate me, didn't you? 

Granted, it's not a perfect defense since I still felt the tingling from that earlier spell, but it seems that, at the very least, magic can't get through to my brain. That must be why these other magic users still possess some degree of intelligence. That’s also probably why they use magic so freely. They've got this glaze to protect them. I’m in a world where magic can’t make you dumb.

Of course, that doesn’t excuse the countless other reasons that make magic so disgusting, but it does change the situation quite a bit. If I’m immune to magic in here, then leaving would be insane. There’s no way I can pass up this adventure now, especially with Princess Pridemonger here practically shoving me out the door. 

How pompous is this princess? I haven’t even reached my first save point yet, and she’s already asking me if I want to quit. Never mind the way she was bragging about all the power she had to stop me from leaving if she wanted. I’ll bet she thinks this adventure is too much for me. She thinks it’s too difficult for me to handle, so she’s trying to get me to turn back now. Sorry, Princess Celestia, but you don’t know who you’re talking to. I’ve been waiting almost a decade for this moment, and no amount of difficulty is going to get in my way. I’m now in the exact opposite situation I was in back home. Now if I don't walk away from the goo, the goo wins. Even worse, now magic wins. And, much like friendship, magic is something I cannot allow to triumph over me. I just can’t!

I spun right back around, tilted my head up to look the matriarchal egotist straight in the eye, and barked a firm, defiant ‘mork' at her, making sure to douse her with a little spittle.

"That...that means ‘no’," Fluttershy stammered, looking about as surprised as the rest of them as her mouth started to curl up into a smile.

"Mork wants to stay! Mork wants to stay! This is gonna be so much fun!!" Twilight cheered, her pink mane flopping as she began bouncing up and down.

You have no idea, Twilight. Then again, I guess I don’t either.

Twilight continued gleefully bouncing around as Twolight tried to calm her down. I noticed the white witch seemed less than thrilled about my decision while the orange one looked more like she didn’t even know what she was doing here.

"Well, it seems I owe Shooting another milkshake," Celestia mumbled to herself, blinking my genetic material out of her eye. "Mork, since you seem to have made your decision, allow me to officially welcome you to Equestria. I sincerely hope that the time you spend here results in something of a grand adventure for us all." She bowed as a sign of respect, so I did the same.

I’m glad to see there’s some tact working inside that overweight head of yours, Princess, and I accept your challenge. I’m ready for whatever challenges your ‘Equestria’ has to offer. 

At that moment, my brain became electrified. As if the princess’s challenge was its alarm clock, visions of how my future adventure could potentially play out rapidly flashed through my mind faster than I could identify them. After managing to slow them down a bit, my plan began to form.

Here’s what I know: Adventures come in a number of different flavors. Some involve a lot of strategy, others are more action-based, while some just revolve around a lot of puzzle-solving. My dad used to tell me how they used to be all about surviving until you lose, the purpose being to see how high of a score you could get. Now, they generally have linear storylines and the potential to actually win. 

From what I’ve seen of this adventure thus far, I believe I’ll need to get to work on gaining experience, learning the system of combat, searching for any glitches to exploit, and, most importantly, finding some allies to join my adventuring group. With magic ruling over the land and its inhabitants, that might prove particularly difficult.

I wonder if Celestia is the true final boss or if there’s someone pulling her strings. Rook once told me that beating them usually requires collecting six or seven special artifacts hidden in key dungeons around the world. I could probably check the library for information on something like that. 	

This is crazy. The excitement of this adventure is even making libraries interesting again. Now I remember why I wanted this so much when I was ten. The intensity of the challenge and the limitless potential are unlike anything normal life can provide. I forgot what this feels like. It’s the feeling of a raw, unfiltered test of my abilities, and it’s mine to enjoy. This is going to be more fun than my club’s biweekly tennischess tournament. This wind-up toy just came to life, and it’s not falling over for any conceivable reason.

That was when my stomach reminded me how important food is.





"I think Mork’s hungry," Celestia noted after hearing the rumbling noises coming from the oddly-clothed creature. 

Fluttershy’s ears skyrocketed as she dashed over to Mork’s side. "Oh, dear, I knew I was forgetting something. When was the last time you had any food?"

"What do you suppose he eats?" Twilight asked. 

"You don’t think he eats...ponies, do you?" Rarity placed her umbrella hat over her muzzle in timidity.

"He doesn’t seem carnivorous," Twilight replied, opening Mork’s mouth to see his teeth. "Pinkie, you said you found ice cream inside his head?"

"And soda!" Pinkie smiled sweetly.

"That’s quite fascinating actually," Twilight said as she looked in Mork’s ear. "Do you think he was born with a food pouch in there or that it grew over time?"

Celestia chuckled. "You’re starting to sound like Shooting, Twilight."

Twilight stopped as she caught herself comparing Mork’s limb structure to her own, placing her hoof behind her head in embarrassment. 

"If Mork’s got food in his noggin, why don’t he just eat something out of it?" Applejack asked, not even sure if what she was saying made any sense.

Mork tilted his head in response, then plunged his entire left glove into his left ear, digging around in it for a few seconds. He soon pulled his empty claw back out of his head, giving only a mork and a shrug as he did so.

"It’s okay, Mork. I’ve got something for ya," Pinkie said as she slammed a warm, untouched pie still in its tin right in front of him. "Try it."

Mork looked down at the pie, then back at Pinkie’s gleefully smiling face with a bit of curiosity. He stuck his thickest digit into the pie, scooping up a sphere of pink gunk out of it, looking it over for a brief moment, and popping it into his mouth as if to sample the taste.

"Do you like it, Mork?" Pinkie asked expectantly. "It’s my special, secret recipe for pinkie pie!"

Mork’s face twisted, his left pupil dilating as his right cheek puffed out. He promptly pulled his finger back out of his mouth, looking at the pink goop still resting on it like it was toxic. Then he shoved his finger back into the pie, replacing the small dot he took out and slid the dessert back toward Pinkie as if he hadn’t touched it.

"I don’t think he likes it," Twilight said, silently noting his preference of using his left claw over his right.

"Oh well, more for me," Pinkie optimistically said as she lifted the entire pie onto her tongue and swallowed it whole, causing Mork to wince.

"Well, he’s gotta like something sweet," Applejack said as she lifted her hat to reveal a shiny red apple underneath it. "And we don’t call our farm Sweet Apple Acres just ‘cause it sounds fancy." She walked up to Mork, apple in hoof, and offered the fruit to him with a welcoming grin across her face.

Mork’s eyes went wide. He looked at that apple with an unbelievable amount of focus before glancing at Applejack as if to verify it was okay. 

Applejack didn’t really know how to respond. "It’s okay, little fella. It’s just an apple." She turned back to her friends to receive looks of confusion, and by the time she turned back around, all that was left on her hoof was a heavy amount of saliva. She glanced back at Mork to see him chomping away like the end was near.

Applejack was about to make a comment most likely involving the phrase "whoo-wee", but before she got a chance, Mork spiraled into the air, jumping up like an uncoiling spring and crashing through the tent’s ceiling, disappearing from sight.

"Well...I...did not anticipate that," Twilight said, looking up at the rip in the tent in confusion.

"Um...no, I can’t say I did either," Celestia said, also wondering about their guest’s sudden jumping skill.

After a few seconds had passed, Mork came plummeting back down through a second rip in the tent right next to the first. He was spinning wildly like a cyclone and drilled into the ground as he landed. Dirt went flying everywhere, causing the others to quickly back away from the unpredictable oddity. When the chaos finally stopped, there was a hole in the ground eight feet deep with several confused ponies looking down into it.

"What kind of world did you say he was from again, Princess?" Twilight asked with a bit of manic frenzy in her voice.

A silence filled the room as they awaited Celestia’s response. Though she seemed strangely speechless, she eventually replied, "Perhaps it would be for the best if Mork were to stay here for the time being. Shooting certainly has enough planned for him anyway."

Fluttershy stepped forward to protest, "We can’t just keep him here like some kind of research experiment. That’s no way to treat a guest."

Princess Celestia sighed. "I suppose you’re right, Fluttershy. However, I don’t think he’ll fit in very well in Canterlot. Do you think you could look after him until--?"

"I’ll do it!" Rarity exclaimed, flinging her hoof into the air as if to fling the mud still caked onto it.

"Are you kidding? You want to look after Mork?" Applejack asked incredulously.

"Of...of course!" Rarity responded, lowering her hoof back to the ground. "This poor creature is in a completely unfamiliar place, literally worlds away from his home, and I think a little hospitality is the least we can offer him."

"That’s quite generous of you, Rarity," Celestia acclaimed, taking another look at Twinklespark’s new abyss. "Are you sure you’re up for it, though? Mork might be something of a handful."

"With all due respect, Princess, I’m not just wearing this necklace because it matches my hat so well." She reached out to her left and gave Mork a large, excessive squeeze of affection. "I can promise you I’ll take marvelous care of him."

Fluttershy distraughtly turned back to into the darkness of the large pit underneath them. "Now we just have to figure out how to get Mork out of this hole."

"Mork?" the orange-haired animal asked, looking slightly uncomfortable about the pony embracing him.

Rarity’s smile went south as she pulled away from the creature she was hugging, then looked down into the eight-foot crater he was just in not five seconds ago. "But you were…how did you…?"

"Wow, nice one, Mork! Do another!" Pinkie applauded Mork’s little magic trick, the rest staring at him in confusion. 

Twilight, in particular, was completely flabbergasted. She had been watching the hole the entire time, and she was sure Mork hadn’t jumped out of it. Yet, there he was, right next to Rarity as if he appeared out of thin air. There wasn't even a flash from him using any magic. It reminded her of something, something that made a spark of anger flare up deep within her. 

However, the princess had just proven that they could trust Mork, so she shook off her suspicions and said, "He probably just jumped out while we weren’t looking. These walls must be messing with our eyes. Anyway, why don’t we take Mork back to Ponyville and work on getting him used to his new surroundings?"

"Actually, Twilight," Rarity stated hesitantly as she picked the dirt out of Mork’s hair, "would you mind if I took care of that myself? Mork seems to be rather...excitable, and it might be more calming for him if only one of us watched him for the time being."

"That works for me," Pinkie said. "I have to go meet with Filthy about my Cupcake-a-Thon! We have to discuss our advertising campaign."

"And I gotta pick up my sis’ from school," Applejack said. "We’re going kayaking tonight."

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. "I told Angel I’d be gone for thirty minutes when I left the house this morning! How long has it been since nine?"

"Looks like about six hours," Applejack noted by the star-shaped clock on the vibrant wall.

Fluttershy squealed in terror. "We have to go back right now!"

A single hair sprung out from Twilight's mane. "But, we just started reconnecting. How are we supposed to strengthen our friendship enough by the time it comes?" Twilight asked, subconsciously keeping Mork out of the loop.

"Come on, Twi," Applejack chuckled. "You really think we can make our friendship any stronger than it already is?"

"Yeah, we’re the best of friends, Twilight," Pinkie said. "If we were any closer, we’d have the same brain. Then it’d be nearly impossible to throw any surprise parties for each other!"

"But, the princess said in her letter--"

"I wanted to make sure you weren’t neglecting your friends, Twilight," Celestia stated, stepping back into the discussion. "But it doesn’t seem to me that that’s not much of a problem anymore. Wouldn’t you agree?"

Twilight took another look at her friends. She had spent the better half of the morning looking for them, helping them chase Mork, and walking with them for a few hours to get to this hill. Plus, even though Rainbow Dash hadn’t come with them, she had certainly cared enough about her absence. If there’s one thing that she hadn’t done with her friends that day, it was neglect them.

"Well, I guess if my friends are fine with it." She took another look at the smiling faces of her companions for confirmation. 

"Besides," Celestia said, glancing toward the telescope, "I was going to ask if you wanted to stay here for a while and maybe see some of the research we’ve been working on."

Twilight felt her voice crack. "You...you mean I can stay here and learn spells invented by the greatest minds in Equestrian history?"

"If it interests you," Celestia playfully responded with a teasing smile.

"Okay!" Twilight cheered as she sprung into the air, floating there for a moment in delight. 

"Well, it sounds as though you’ve got the rest of your day planned out, Twilight," Rarity said. "Now, would you be a dear and send us back to Ponyville? I need to get Morky-Worky here settled in." She had finished clearing the dirt out of his hair and was now brushing it while shaking a can of hairspray with her magic.

"Of course, allow me." Twilight lit up her horn in preparation.

"Oh! Twilight! Can you send me straight to Filthy’s house?" Pinkie asked. "He seemed kind of stressed out this morning, so I want to give him a little surprise!"

"All right, Pinkie, just let me concentrate for a second and…"

Then, just as Twilight was about release the spell to send her friends home, Twilight caught something strange on Mork’s face. She only saw it for a split second, and it happened so quickly that she wasn’t even sure she saw correctly. If she did see it correctly, then she wasn’t even sure what to make of it. 

It was bizarre, but she could have sworn she just saw Mork smirk. She thought that, for just a second, she saw a self-satisfied grin appear on his face that one would make after deceiving an entire group of ponies into believing he wasn’t deceiving them. Even though she wasn’t sure if she saw it correctly or not, it made that spark of anger flare up again, and she found it even more difficult to shake it off than before. Still, having no time to react, she released her beam of magic, sending her friends and their strange, new guest back to her town of residence.

"Is something the matter, Twilight?" Celestia asked after the spell had been completed.

"It’s nothing, Princess," Twilight replied. "I think I might have made a tiny mistake with the spell, though."

Silence began to overtake Twinklespark, but it was quickly interrupted as another flash of light went off. 

Shooting Star appeared right between the princess and Twilight, standing on a pile of books that he flashed in with him. "All right! I think I’ve figured out how to speak Mork. Now all we have to do is--hey!" Shooting looked to the back of the tent, noticing something very different about it all of a sudden. He turned to the princess and frustratedly asked, "Who got mud on my telescope?"



 

Rainbow Dash felt like a new mare. She couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much. The hunger she had built up for flying after going an entire week and then some without it just made doing so all the more satisfying, and the fact that she technically wasn’t supposed to be out there only gave it an additional thrill. Now all she had left to do was get back to town and put her necklace back on before Twilight or the others found out. Or Twilight.

She followed the exact path that she had taken before, this time making it through without even so much as a wild Pinkie encounter. Once she made it past the schoolhouse without getting caught, she knew she was home free. She found the same spot under the cloud she was napping on that morning where two fillies were patiently waiting for her arrival.

"Hey, you two, hope you didn’t miss me too much," Rainbow said as she skidded to a perfect stop right in front of them, her eyes conceitedly shut.

"Oh…uh, hey, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo greeted with an uncharacteristic lack of enthusiasm in Rainbow's presence.

Rainbow flexed her wings as she dusted herself off. "I told ya I’d be back in no time at all."

"You’ve been gone for six hours," Sweetie noted, trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.

Rainbow’s eyes snapped open in surprise. "Whoops, guess I musta lost track of time," she sheepishly replied. "Ah, that’s okay. As long as that bucket stayed put, it’s all good."

"Yeah, all good," Scootaloo responded with a chuckle of morbid unease.

"Anyway, sorry I made you wait so long. You did good, soldiers. I owe ya one." Rainbow gave Scootaloo an affectionate noogie and walked over to the rusty bucket lying beside her.

"You...owe...me?" Scootaloo asked, not sure if she was actually speaking the words or drooling them. She turned around to see Rainbow reaching for the bucket and yelped, "Rainbow Dash, wait! I’ve got something to tell you!"

"Sure thing, squirt. Just let me take care of--" 

Rainbow stopped as she lifted the bucket into the air and saw what was underneath. More specifically, it was what wasn't underneath that she found concerning. She calmly set the bucket back in its previous position, then quickly jerked it back up again like she was attempting a second try at a failed magic trick. She turned back to the two fillies, her eyes gushing with terror, and she lunged toward them, practically knocking them over just through sheer intimidation.

"What did you do?" Rainbow asked almost desperately as she hovered a few inches off the ground in front of the nervous, young ponies.

"I...I had to go to school," Scootaloo stammered as she tried to explain, "so I brought it with me to make sure nothing knocked it over just like you said."

"And what happened?" Rainbow asked, steam almost visibly coming out of her ears.

"It got knocked over," Sweetie Belle answered, looking almost as ashamed as her friend.

Rainbow Dash collapsed onto the ground and threw her hoof over her face in exasperation. Then she sprung back onto her hooves with an extremely heightened sense of urgency. "Do you have any idea what you’ve done?"

"It can’t be that serious, can it? It was just a bucket," Sweetie remarked with blindingly innocent cynicism.

"It wasn’t the bucket that was important! It was the--" Rainbow stopped for a moment. "The fact that you let it get knocked over! How could you do that?"

"I’m really sorry, Rainbow Dash," Scootaloo said. "I made sure to be really careful with it, and I made extra super careful sure not to let anything knock it over. But this giant monkey thing in a cowboy hat came out of nowhere and kicked it when I wasn’t looking!"

"A monkey thing in a cowboy hat?" Rainbow asked, her eyebrow raised and her voice filled with sarcasm. "That’s the story you’re going with?"

"It’s true!" Sweetie said. "There was a monkey thing. It had big white hands and large black feet!"

"And eyes that were even bigger than that!" Scootaloo said, pulling on her eyelids for emphasis.

Sweetie got up on her hind legs. "It ran on two feet!"

Scootaloo jumped up on a nearby rock. "It was at least ten feet tall."

"Its head was harder than a flagpole!"

"It had lasers for teeth!"

"Its legs were made of taffy!"

"I think it ate Applejack!"

"Stop!" Rainbow exclaimed, stopping their onslaught of over-imaginative descriptions. "I don’t have time for your monkey thing! Just tell me where it knocked over the bucket."

"Right beside the school," the two said concurrently.

The second those words were uttered, Rainbow Dash took off back toward the schoolhouse as fast as her wings could flap. 

"Rainbow Dash! Wait! Let me make it up to you!" Scootaloo called out as she jumped onto her scooter she had parked nearby, buzzed her wings, and chased after her. "I’ll see ya later, Sweetie Belle!" she called back as she zoomed away.

After the dust had cleared from the hasty departure of the two speedsters, Sweetie Belle was left standing alone next to the cause of all this panic. She kicked the bucket as it lay lifelessly on its side, wondering how something so simple could possibly be the cause of all this fuss.



 

Spike couldn’t find Twilight anywhere. He’d been looking for her for five hours now, but he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the purple unicorn. It was if she’d vanished off the face of Equestria. He’d asked basically everypony in town if they’d seen her, but either they said they didn’t know where she was or they didn’t know who she was.

"Give me a break," Spike grumbled to himself as he stomped away from yet another pony without a clue. "How many times does Twilight have to save Equestria before ponies recognize her?"

As he walked through the center of town, he happened to spot Mayor Mare walking past. Figuring she might be of more help, he raised his claw and shouted, "Mayor Mare! Can I ask you something?"

"Oh, hello there, Spike!" the gray-haired mare greeted as she came to a stop. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Have you seen Twilight anywhere by any chance today?"

"Hmm...no, I can’t say I have. Are you looking for her?"

Spike’s eyes drooped in annoyance as if she had just told him he’d painted a fence the wrong color. "Well, thanks anyway," he replied as he turned to walk away.

"Oh, wait a second, Spike. Would you mind doing something for me?"

"Uh, what is it?" Spike asked, his helpful urges spinning himself back around to face the mayor.

"I’m swamped with work trying to get things ready for the big festival this Thursday, and I needed to get the chalkboard back that Miss Cheerilee borrowed from me this morning. Would you be a dear and swing by the schoolhouse to get it back?"

"Well, I-"

"I knew I could count on you! Just bring it by the town hall as soon as you can. Thanks again!" The mayor was gone before Spike could get in one more word of protest. It seemed that he had somehow found a way to have chores even when Twilight was nowhere to be found.

As he headed toward the schoolhouse, he started to wonder if the reason he couldn’t find Twilight was because something happened to her. A few of the choice things he had said to her that morning came flooding back through his mind, and a gripping sense of guilt took hold. His pace began to pick up until he soon found himself sprinting toward that schoolhouse as fast as he could. The sooner he got that chalkboard, the sooner he could get back to looking for Twilight. He couldn’t let the last words he ever spoke to her be "uh-oh." 

However, as he finally arrived at his destination, something caught his eye in the grass beside the building. It was the reflection of the sunlight, which bounced off something shiny that was lying in the green thicket and went straight into his left eye, momentarily blinding him and making him slam straight into the flagpole. Stumbling around for a bit to regain his senses, he looked towards the grass to see what was in it that had just attacked his vision so suddenly. 

He couldn’t identify what the object was at a distance, so he walked up to get a closer look. His eyes went wide as soon as he got close enough to identify the crimson lightning bolt that made up the main body of the piece of jewelry lying at his feet.

Spike picked it up off the ground and looked it over to verify that it was the genuine article. After a bit of inspection, he realized it looked and felt exactly the same as the last time he had worn it. It was definitely Rainbow Dash’s loyalty necklace.

As the dragon pondered how such an important object ended up on the ground beside the school and what this might mean in relation to Twilight’s whereabouts, a sudden, white blur swooped past Spike’s face. Before Spike could realize what happened, the necklace in his claws was gone.

Spike looked in all directions in a frenzy, throwing himself onto all fours and patting the ground to make sure he hadn’t accidentally dropped the necklace or that it had somehow become invisible for him like it was to most ponies. Then, as he heard a nearby flapping noise, he looked up to see a well-sized bird as white as freshly fallen snow flying away from him with the necklace securely in its talons.

"Hey!" Spike shouted as he chased after the feathered purloiner on foot. "Get back here you stupid bird! That doesn’t belong to you!"

The bird let out a ‘hoot’, paying no mind to the pursuing dragon as it continued obliviously flying away. As the two neared the edge of Ponyville, Spike suddenly recalled what Twilight had said awhile back about the spell she had cast on the necklace, and he had to wonder how this bird was even able to see the necklace at all.





Class was pretty uneventful after the excitement of the early morning. Diamond didn’t insult anypony else, and Cheerilee spent the rest of the day trying to explain to the class why the central nervous system was more than just what caused stage fright. Although, few were actually listening. Aside from Diamond herself, everypony seemed to be too distracted to even pay much attention to the lesson. They were all caught up on some crazy orangutan in a cowboy hat that had apparently run across the playground and attempted to tackle the flagpole.

And Miss Cheerilee wanted Diamond to become friends with one of them.

Diamond walked home that afternoon with a hodgepodge of anger stewing in her mind. There were so many things she could choose to be the focus of her rage. There was the model that disgraced her tiara; the stupid apology she had to make on Wednesday; the giant, disgusting rodent her dad let into their house that morning; the recent obsession going around about some dumb flower that was supposed to bloom in a few days; and a giant list of things to be angry about that seemed to just keep going. She had so many things to despise at once that she couldn’t decide which to focus her energy on. After a while, it was really making her mad. 

She eventually arrived back home and silently entered the house, too preoccupied to alert her dad of her arrival. Thankfully, Miss Cheerilee had said she wouldn’t tell her dad about her behavior that day provided there were no more "incidents." The last thing Diamond needed was more punishment from her dad on top of everything else.

She walked through the hallway, noticing the distinct lack of stickiness on the carpeting as she headed toward her room. Walking past the dining room, she caught sight of her dad reading his newspaper like he should have been that morning. He heard her steps and lowered the paper just as she was squarely in his range of view, his expression remaining stagnant as he caught sight of her. 

"Ah, Diamond, you’re home," he said as he folded the paper and set it on the table. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Why don’t you come take a seat? I made my famous no-noodle soup you like so much."

Diamond looked down the hallway toward her room. She was hoping to spend some quality time with herself to perfect her plan to prove her teacher wrong and make a new friend by the end of the day, but she knew her dad only made a dish that bland when he had something to apologize about. 

She knew better than to pass up an opportunity to make that work for her, so she agreeably smiled and walked into the dining room to sit down in the chair across from him with the bowl of hot broth set up in front of it.

He cleared his throat, appearing to be searching for the right words before finally saying, "Listen, Diamond, I’ve been thinking about the way I dealt with what happened this morning. It was very unprofessional of me, and I’d like to apologize for it."

"Does that mean I can have ice cream again before time itself ends?" Diamond asked, trying to mimic her dad’s harsh tone from that morning.

Filthy cleared his throat again. "We’ll see. It wasn’t cheap to get the house cleaned up, you know. I’m afraid that’s gonna be coming out of your allowance for the next few months."

"Did they get my room cleaned up?" Diamond asked, staring down at her dad's soup.

"It’s as good as new. Although, we had to take your cat out to be dry cleaned. They said they’ll bring him back tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I hope they’re careful with him," Diamond said, crossing her forelegs in annoyance. "Those dry-cleaning ponies never polish his whiskers the way he likes."

"I’m sure they’ll do their job for what I’m paying them. More to the point, I had something I needed to ask you. It’s something that’s had me perplexed all day. Now, I don’t want to have a repeat of this morning, so let me just ask you this as calmly as I can." 

He reached down for something resting by his chair. "Just tell me, Diamond Tiara, how did you manage to get ice cream on the inside of my ship in a bottle?" He held up the bottle to show the pink stains strewn about the entire fully-completed model ship within it.

With only a moment’s hesitation, Diamond almost involuntarily made her pupils grow large enough to consume the sun and resting her chin on the table, innocently replying, "I woke up this morning and my daddy wasn’t there."

Mr. Rich sighed deeply, then chuckled softly as he set the bottle on the table. "All right, all right, fair enough. Why don’t we just cut your allowance in half for the next month, and I’ll let you have ice cream again at the end of the week?"

As if she didn’t even hear her dad’s suggestion, Diamond’s kept up her expression, slightly raising the pitch of her voice as she continued, "He let a scary monster in the house and wasn’t there to protect me from it."

Mr. Rich’s chuckle came to a close. "Okay, Diamond, that’s enough. I was talking with Pinkie for ten minutes, and we both know that ‘monster’ was in more danger than you were."

Diamond ignored him again, making her eyes shimmer to add to the effect. "He left me all alone for three days. I almost forgot what he looked like."

The stallion leaned forward on the table, a bit of anger infecting his voice as he said, "Diamond, I’m serious now! You know how important my job is! We didn’t mean to forget to get a babysitter! It was a simple mistake!"

Diamond let her head slump on its side and broke eye contact with him as a final touch. "I guess he just stopped loving me."

Filthy's jaw dropped, his face turning pale as the words pierced through him. He placed his hoof to his forehead, gazing down into his soup as if he had come to realize how tasteless it was. "Diamond...you know that’s not true."

Diamond smiled as she resumed her normal posture and eye size. In an almost condescendingly sweet voice, she responded, "It’s okay, Dad. You don’t have to feel bad about it. I still love you more than all the money in your bank account." She pulled out a straw and happily slurped her dad’s soup. Though it was just a bowl of salty liquid with some leaves thrown in, something about it tasted strangely sweet to her.

"Diamond Tiara," he said somewhat reluctantly, making her turn her attention back towards him, "I know I haven't been the best dad this week, but I'd like to make it up to you. How about I go talk to Miss Cheerilee and we’ll see about getting you—"

At that moment, a purple flash of light appeared above the table, causing two creatures to appear out of thin air. One was a pink-maned, excitable mare, who appeared on the stallion’s side of the table. The other was a orange-haired, dizzy monster who appeared on the opposite side.

"What in the—" Mr. Rich leapt out of his chair. Diamond let out a yelp as the monster in front of her struggled to get its eyes to stop spinning.

"Surprise, Filthy!" Pinkie said. "I’m here to advertise like there’s no tomorrow! I brought my compass and everything." She spotted the bottled ship as she bounced off the side of the table. "I see you’re already way ahead of me. You’ve got the S.S. Pinkie Pie ready to set sail for the Cupcake-A-Thon! I like it!"

The other creature that was still on the table glanced around at the room it was in before bringing its eyes to a focal point as it caught sight of the filly that seemed to be growing more distressed by the second. A natural smile appeared on its face, and it raised its front gloved meat hook to give her a friendly wave. So, Diamond grabbed the warm bowl of soup in front of her and violently chucked it at the beast.

The soup flew right over the creature’s head, arcing over to the other side of the table and coming down right on top of her dad’s head. Diamond winced as the soup dripped down her dad’s face. She extended her hoof as she prepared to offer an apology, but she angrily turned to the creature on the table instead. "Look at what you made me do!" she shouted in contempt. "What are you even doing here anyway?"

"Yeah, Mork, what are you doing here?" Pinkie asked, turning around with the pink model ship in her hooves and the bottle nowhere to be found. "This isn’t your house, silly. You better get going. Fluttershy’s probably already making posters to find you."

Mork reluctantly hopped off the table and headed towards the exit. As he walked past Diamond, he stopped for a moment, meeting her resentful gaze with a look of curiosity. He bit his bottom lip before spontaneously leaning forward to lick Diamond squarely across the face with his slimy, blue tongue.

Diamond shuddered violently as if she had just been struck by the lick of death before fiercely replying, "My face is not your lollipop, you sick, spider-haired fleapit!"

Pinkie giggled. "Aww, isn’t that precious? Mork likes you, Dimey."

"Precious?" Diamond said, shoving Mork away with one hoof as she attempted to fix her mane with the other. "There's nothing precious about this thing." She threw a narrowed gaze at him. "I think the words you're looking for are 'pure evil.'" Mork's eyes widened at her comment.

"Aw, come on, Dimey. Don't be like that," Pinkie said. "Let’s see a smile." She beamed at the pink filly as a means of giving her the idea. Diamond and Mork both gave Pinkie the same blank expression until the silence motivated Pinkie to try something else. 

"Let’s see a smile!" she repeated as she jumped into the air, causing confetti to gush out from the floor underneath her, a stray strand of it landing across Diamond’s nose. She and Mork simultaneously cocked an eyebrow at the pink mare as neither of them found any reason to acquiesce.

"Mr. Happy wants to see Dimey smile," Pinkie said, pulling out a smiling, moose-like puppet with a top hat and a monocle and waving it in front of Diamond’s face. It only helped in cementing Diamond’s scowl even further.

"Uh, Pinkie Pie," Filthy said, having just wiped the soup out of his mane and realizing what was happening.

"Smile," Pinkie said melodically as she poked Diamond’s forehead a few times with her puppet like she was trying to press her ‘smile’ button. As Diamond remained persistent in her anti-smiling ways, all that resulted was Pinkie and her puppet frowning in disappointment. As if finding humor in the irony, Mork had to smile at the result as he turned around and crawled out toward the front door.

"I’m getting out of here," Diamond said as she got up from her chair. 

"Hang on, Diamond," Filthy said, reaching out his hoof. "I still need to discuss something with you."

"Can’t it wait until later, Dad? I’ve got something important to do for school, and it looks like you have a business problem to sort out." She pointed at Pinkie, who seemed to be unsuccessfully attempting to comfort her moping puppet friend.

Diamond rolled her eyes. "I’ll see you later, Dad," she promised as she exited through the opposite door that Mork had taken.

"All…all right. Don’t stay out too late, though. Love you!" Mr. Rich said as Pinkie excitedly dumped a box of advertising equipment onto the stallion’s head.

Diamond closed the back door behind her and headed for her backyard gate. She couldn’t let herself be distracted anymore. She had a challenge to face. She was going to show Miss Cheerilee exactly how special she was. She could make one friend in no time at all. If she wanted to, she could befriend the entire class to the point where they’d be apologizing to her by the time Wednesday came around. It would be so simple. After all, she was the best friend a pony could hope to have. What could possibly go wrong?





She called me evil. She thinks I'm evil. Nobody thinks I'm evil. Half the time Rook forgets I'm even an antagonist. Devil Me swears I'm not. And yet this filly thinks I'm at the level of a trained professional. I'm actually a villain to her. Now I'm definitely glad I was wrong about Twilight baking her daughter into a pie. I'm not a fan of eating things that compliment me.

Walking out of Mr. Rich’s house, the nickname Twilight had called her daughter rang through my head. Dimey. It didn’t sound anything like her name, but then again, that made perfect sense. Mothers were always calling their children crazy things. Mine used to call me her little cochlear implant until I was ten, and I didn’t understand what it meant until my roommate told me offhand a few days ago. 

Pet names aside, Pinkie seemed to be the only one I could trust around here. Every other horse I'd met was either a proud practitioner of fake supernature or at least had no qualms with it. I could disguise my distaste for it, but I'd befriend a spoon before I shared my lunch with a wand-twirling potion chugger. 

Now that my adventure hosts and potential enemies had so graciously provided me with my power food, I felt completely unstoppable. In fact, I felt so confident that I decided to engage in the most risky and perilous pastime known to man: walking forward with my eyes closed. Technically, I was crawling forward since I still wanted to continue my Mork persona, but the risk was just as great.

Ignoring the various screams of terror I heard as I progressed, I considered barging into some random houses and breaking all the vases I could find. Then, a thought-derailing voice of perfection soared through the air. 

"Oh, Mork! There you are!"

Opening my eyes, I turned around to see Fluttershy running straight toward me. "I’m so glad we found you. I thought I’d have to start putting these posters up all over town."

The white witch was right behind her. She was still wearing that odd umbrella hat that she still wasn't using correctly. She sighed and shook her head as witches often did before muttering, "Work--I mean, Mork, darling, what am I ever going to do with you? Come along now. I need to see what I can do about those clothes of yours."

After that baffling statement, the two signaled me to follow them, no doubt leading me to where I’d be living for the time being. Curious about what my adversaries had in store for me, I played along and followed them with a supportive smile.

I know an adventure is supposed to start out easy, but couldn't it be a little harder? I guess I must still be in the prologue stages. I sure hope I’m getting a difficulty spike here soon. After all, it’s no fun if there’s no challenge.