"Do you see what comes of all this running around, Mr. Bond? All this jumping and fighting, it's exhausting! Relax. You need to relax."
***
"Shh. Be quiet, I think he's waking up."
James' eyes flew open instinctively, completely aware and awake at the sound of the unknown voice. Slowly, as to not attract attention, he started to move his arm towards where he kept his gun. Not under the pillow, as was the common misconception and cliché. That was too dangerous, and wasn't worth the risk. No, he always kept his weapon in a bedside drawer, just in case.
As he felt for the knob to pull the drawer open, he carefully looked around the room. He could see light poking in through the curtains, so it must have been morning, but, strangely, the room was still pitch black. Could it be some sort of magic? Maybe. Unsure of what was going on, 007 quietly opened the drawer and pulled out his pistol. He inched out of bed, slowly making his way towards the lamp. His weapon raised, he flicked it on.
"SURPRISE!"
Bond nearly fired the weapon in shock, but he held restraint. Six ponies leaped up from behind the sofa in his hotel room, happy and innocent grins on their faces. He breathed a sigh of relief, recognizing the majority of them. It was Twilight and her friends, although a few of them he hadn't met. Still, they had thrown some sort of surprise party for him, so they had either gotten over their initial fear of him, or Twilight was just really good at persuading them to come. Somehow, he didn't doubt that.
"Good morning, James!" the lavender unicorn called out, beaming at him along with her friends. "Happy 'Welcome to Equestria' party!"
Bond glanced around his hotel room. Nothing much had changed, although they had somehow managed to tie a few balloons to the sofa while he had been sleeping. Before he could think anymore, the pink mare that he had bumped into the previous day bounced up to him.
"Do you like it?" she asked innocently. "It was Twilight's idea, mostly, but I planned the rest." She spoke modestly, yet with an air of pride at the same time.
"It's... nice," he told her, smiling slightly. He glanced around the room, looking for something to drink. There was some orange juiced laid out on the dining table, so he decided to have some. "Pinkie, was it? I never really expected anyone to go to this length to make me feel welcome."
"Don't be silly," she exclaimed. "When you arrived, I saw how everyone was scared of you, and that you were all alone, and that was sad. Everyone needs some friends, right? They're the things we can't do without!"
James nodded as Twilight stepped forward past her friend. "We know all you want to do is get home, James," she said to him. "But we had to at least make you feel welcome while you were here."
"Thank you," he told them all, genuinely touched. Truth be told, he hasn't had many friends, even in his earlier, teenage years. For these ponies to reach out and welcome him as a friend, without hardly knowing him at all, was quite heartwarming, even for a stone cold man such as he. Still, James felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb in Equestria, so he wouldn't waste any time in getting home. That didn't mean he couldn't enjoy his break before then, however. After dying and resurrecting, anyone would think that they needed some rest and relaxation.
They seemed hellbent on making him enjoy himself, so James obliged, idly chatting with a few of them while making himself some breakfast. They were genuinely friendly and happy, if a little timid around him, though that was to be expected. It was Twilight, however, who gave him the day's first piece of interesting information.
"James." The unicorn's formal voice distracted 007 from the light blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash. "I thought I should let you know that I've booked you and me onto the train to Canterlot at two thirty this afternoon. I think we should talk to Princess Celestia."
Bond hadn't really heard too much about the princess, so he wasn't quite ready to trust her. He didn't really know who to trust, actually. It felt as if his world had been turned upside down. "Alright then," he replied to her. "Whatever you think is best."
Twilight's innocent smile spread across her lips once more. "Great! I hope you don't mind, but we'll be staying at the castle for a few days."
"It's fine," he said, popping a slice of toast into his mouth.
As the rest of them chatted idly amongst themselves, James moved across the room and drew the curtains. The brilliant morning sunshine struck him as soon as he did so, and he was able to see the gleaming, bright streets below him; the happy ponies going about their everyday activities with unbridled glee. For a moment he felt a slight pang of envy run through him, but he quickly shrugged it off. In the end, it had been him alone that had chosen the grim nature of his work.
For a while, he just stared out at the world outside, contemplating. Contemplating his current predicament, contemplating his past, and the mistakes he had made. Looking at people, or ponies, as innocent as these, it got him thinking, maybe he could have done things better. For now, though, he wasn't quite sure what to make of things.
"James?" Again, it was Twilight's voice that snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you alright?"
"Hmm?" It took him a second to readjust, after being whipped back into reality. "I'm alright."
"You looked distant for a second there." She, along with the rest of her friends behind her, all looked concerned. "Are you sure everything's okay?"
"I'm sure," he answered, finishing off the last piece of his toast. "I think..." He paused for a second. "I think I just need a walk."
That seemed to perplex Twilight, but she shook it off quickly enough. "Okay then. Would you like some company?"
"No, thank you," he assured. "I appreciate the welcoming party, but I think I just need some time alone, if that's alright."
The lavender unicorn glanced at her friends, gauging their responses. They all shrugged, giving her a facial expression that said 'why not?' "Alright then," she relented. "We'll just stay here and clean things up then, I suppose."
"Thanks." James walked over to the bed and threw on his jacket. "I'll be back in a bit." Giving them a small wave of goodbye, he stepped out of his room and into the cramped hallway beyond, ready to stretch his legs and get some fresh air. The morning air outside was crisp, and it was a relief to be out instead of stuck inside a cramped hotel. Besides, he was going to have to endure a long train ride later, so he needed all the exercise he could get.
As he walked, Bond's mind began to wonder. What would he do if, by some chance, he wasn't able to get home? He assumed that a peaceful place such as this would not require a man of his skills. He smiled at the notion of him settling down peacefully in a village somewhere. Honestly, he thought he'd be dead before he saw something like that.
By now he had been walking for a while, and found himself near the center of town. Random ponies would sometimes wave and say hello as they trotted by, and he felt obliged to do the same in return. A few still held wary and suspicious gazes, but that was to be expected. Feeling slightly hungry, as he had only had a single slice of toast at the party, James decided to buy a toasted egg and cheese sandwich from a nearby market stall. Bacon would have been nice, but he doubted that he'd be having any of that any time soon.
Hungrily chewing on his sandwich, his attention turned towards the train station as the sound of a whistle reached his ears. The conductor announced the locomotive's arrival from a place called Dodge Junction, and Bond watched as a number of ponies, residents and tourists alike, stepped out onto the platform. Something stood out, however. Throughout the huge crowd, James was certain that a pair of eyes had been following him, and it wasn't just an innocent or curious stare either. No, he could tell from the glimpse he had gotten that whoever was watching him had malicious intentions, but he could not deduce who it was. Deciding to play it safe, and not draw any unwanted attention, 007 started to make his way back to the hotel.
Swiftly, he began to carve a path through the swelling crowd that had poured out from the station into the market. As soon as it had died down a little, Bond decided to try and figure out just who was following him. Stopping at a random stall, he pretended to be inspecting its wares, but instead kept watch over the route he had just taken out of the corner of his eyes. Sure enough, there was a dark blue pegasus, no older than twenty, who had his eyes locked onto him. He suddenly stopped, realizing what Bond was up to, and did the same, waiting for the human to make the first move.
Got you, Bond thought, moving away from the stand. He didn't know who this colt was, but he wasn't about to start taking chances. For all he knew, it could be a lackey of the stallion that had imprisoned him upon his arrival to this world. He needed to get back to his hotel room now, and warn the others if necessary. He had made it out of the crowd now, so it was becoming increasingly obvious that the pegasus was trailing him. Bond could tell that the colt was new at this; there was hardly any subtlety at all. Still, he pretended not to notice, to lull the pony into a false sense of security.
The colt seemed to slow down as James approached the front door of the hotel. Briefly checking behind him, Bond saw that the pegasus had broken off from following him, and had begun to sit down at a nearby restaurant table. From what he could tell, the colt had a perfect view of his hotel room.
Bond's mind raced as he made his way inside and upstairs. Did Brute Force's lackeys follow him all the way from that abandoned castle? Was the whole thing a ruse? Maybe it was something else entirely, but he couldn't be certain. Hoping that nothing had happened to the others, Bond pushed open the door to his room. Luckily, they were all fine. They had just finished cleaned up the room following his party, and were chatting before they noticed him enter.
"Hey James." The cyan pegasus, Rainbow Dash, called out to him. "Feeling better?"
"I'm fine," he answered quickly, before shifting his attention onto Twilight. "Twilight, are there any trains to Canterlot before this afternoon?"
The unicorn, confused by his question, took a few moments to respond. "I don't think so. Trains to the city only run every few days. Why?"
James nodded, before picking up his gun from the bedside table, stashing it in his holster and peeking outside. Sure enough, there was the blue pegasus, along with a few other stallions he hadn't seen earlier. There was no question about it; these were definitely the guys from the other night. "I'm not sure," he responded to her, turning away from the window. "But I think we might need to go somewhere else."
Twilight became even more confused. "What? Why?" she asked, moving towards him.
"It's a long story," Bond tried to explain. "Let's just say that when Lavender Quill brought me here, she was forced to do so by some unsavoury characters."
The six ponies around the room seemed to freeze as they realized what James was implying. However, before any of them could say anything about it, there was a knock on the door. Everyone stopped as they listened out for any voices on the other side. James turned to the rest of them, putting a finger to his lips, before creeping towards the door and opening it quickly.
Beyond the threshold was a light red unicorn stallion, that James recognized as one of the ones who had been waiting outside just now. Surprised by the human's sudden movement, the young unicorn's horn lit up, about to fire off a spell. Fortunately, Bond didn't give him the time. He grasped onto the door frame and pulled himself up, kicking out at the stallion with tremendous force. The unicorn spluttered as he was kicked in the gut and sent flying back into the wall behind him. He tried to get back up, but a swift punch to the temple from 007 ensured that he stayed down.
"Oh my gosh!" The southern-sounding mare, Applejack, cried out. "What was that all in aid of?"
"We need to go. Now," James called out urgently. "I don't have time to explain, but I need you all to trust me." They all crept out of the room and into the hallway. "All of you, get out through the back door and go home," he commanded. "And stay there for a few hours until everything's settled down. It won't be safe out here." As he spoke, he kept his gun trained on the stairs, in case any more of Brute Force's goons came up.
The six of them looked at each other, unsure of what to do, before finally agreeing. Twilight, on the other hand, had other ideas.
"No, James, I'm coming with you. We're still going to Canterlot!"
"Twilight!" It was Rarity who called out. "You can't go out there! Celestia knows what they'll do to you!"
The purple unicorn was adamant. "I know the risks, but James seems to have gotten in a bit over his head. Please. I'll be fine, I promise."
The five of her friends paused, before nodding solemnly. "Okay, Twi," Applejack told her. "Just take care of yourself, y'hear?"
"I will." Twilight embraced her friends quickly before ushering them away. She looked after them for a moment, before turning back to Bond. "Okay, what are we going to do?"
"There was a train at the station," he told her, formulating a plan in his head. "With any luck, it's still there. We can use it to get out of here."
"Steal a train? Are you crazy?!"
"Do you feel like waiting around here until this afternoon with those lunatics?" James snapped at her. The mare recoiled, so he decided to go a bit softer. "Look, we need to get to Canterlot, as you said. Might as well be sooner rather than later."
It was obvious that Twilight didn't like the idea, especially when it came to theft. However, she didn't see any other choice, so she nodded confidently. "Alright then, James. Let's go."
"Right. Stick behind me. Any sign of trouble, just let me handle it." His weapon readied, Bond began to creep down the stairs, just waiting for another one of those bastards to rear their faces. Reaching the bottom of the stairs and stepping into the reception area, he could make out voices coming from outside.
"What's going on in there?" one asked, in a hushed voice.
"I dunno. I can't hear anything," came another, this time deeper. "You think something's up?"
Bond continued to listen as he peeked through the front window curtains. There were four stallions waiting outside the front door; one pegasus and the rest earth ponies. He considered his options. He could gun down all four of them right there through the window, but he felt that they needed to explain themselves first. Motioning for Twilight to stay back, he crept up to the front door. He took a deep breath, and kicked. The door nearly flew off it's hinges, and the four goons were taken by surprise. Capitalizing on this, Bond leaped forward and grabbed the pegasus, putting an arm around his neck while training his gun on the rest, who had recovered.
"Hold it," the human ordered. "Make a move and your friend gets it."
"P-piss off," the pegasus in his grip managed to splutter, barely able to breathe.
There was a tense standoff as the three earth stallions tried to figure out what to do. Eventually, one stood forward. "Drop it," he commanded, desperately trying to sound braver than he felt. "We got the whole place surrounded. You try and pull anything and you'll be leaving this backwater town in a box."
"You wouldn't do that." James called him out on his bluff. "I'm your boss's 'perfect weapon', aren't I? I bet you've got explicit orders to take me in alive somehow."
The young stallion looked uneasily to his friends. Suddenly, Bond caught him looking to the side with hope in his eyes. Quickly whipping his weapon to match his gaze, he saw the pegasus that had been trailing him earlier barreling towards him. Without thinking, 007 pulled the trigger twice, sending his attacker falling to the ground. Panicked, his friends charged forward, but were caught off guard when Bond kicked the pegasus he had been holding towards them. As they tripped and fell, James dispatched them quickly. The four of them slumped to the ground, their blood pooling on the ground beneath them.
"Oh, Celestia," was all Twilight managed to murmur as she tentatively stepped outside into the carnage. "What have you done?"
"Defended us, and probably saved your life," James said without remorse. "Come on, we need to keep moving."
"You don't care, do you?" Twilight asked quietly, as he began to walk.
"What?" James turned around again to face her.
"You don't care that you just murdered five ponies in cold blood!" Twilight exclaimed, her anger rising.
"Cold blood?" James responded. "In case you hadn't noticed, they were attacking. You'd probably be dead yourself if it wasn't for me." He stopped as she continued to glare at him. "Make no mistake, I don't enjoy this, but sometimes it has to be done. Kill, or be killed. Now come on, we need to get to Canterlot, don't we?"
The unicorn went to say something in retaliation, but stopped herself. She sighed, and looked up at him. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Come on."
They made their way through the town quickly, without speaking a word to each other. Other ponies, having heard the gunshots, watched them with fear, but didn't interrupt them. Soon enough, they arrived at the train station. Thankfully, the train from earlier was still there, and it's driver was nowhere to be found.
"Come on then," Twilight announced, approaching the station. "If we're going to take this train, we need to it no-" She was cut short as Bond stopped her. He pointed towards the station in response to her questioning look. Sure enough, she saw another suspicious looking stallion, this time a unicorn.
Putting a finger to his lips, Bond motioned for Twilight to stay put. He crept up towards the station, making sure to stay out of the unicorn's line of sight. He got closer, and closer, and still the stallion didn't notice him. Finally, he was close enough. In one swift movement, he put one arm around the unicorn's neck and muffled his worried cried with his other hand. The stallion struggled briefly, desperately trying to escape from 007's vice grip, but to no avail. His body went limp, and James laid him down gently. He turned to Twilight, and called her over to him.
"Did you kill him as well?" she asked accusingly.
"No, he'll be fine," James shot back. "Come on, let's go before more show up."
They both clambered into the train car. It was almost identical to any other steam engine he'd seen before, not that he had much experience with them. Still, he assumed he knew the basics, so he ordered Twilight to shovel some coal into the engine while disengaging the brakes. Sure enough, the train started to move, and they were on their way to Canterlot.
"So, what's the plan?" James asked his unicorn accomplice after they had picked up some speed.
"We're going straight to Princess Celestia," Twilight told him. "I'm not sure I trust you anymore, James."