“The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of iron and blood but by friendship and magic.”
“After all these preparations, I shall finally succeed!” the mint green unicorn cackled gleefully to herself, her golden eyes sparkling in madness.
“I shall summon a glorious human being to Equestria! Everypony will praise me, Lyra Heartstrings, for my relentless efforts!”she laughed again, and as she did, a speck of saliva left her mouth, quietly hitting the grass. She looked around with a maniacal grin. Only thing she noticed was her ritual site, where everything was set in accordance with her vile, black magic book. The lack of trespassers and never-do-wells pleased her and her sense of security greatly rose, so Lyra took yet another proud glance at her wonderful altar.
On t proudly stood a marble statue of Pohneestotheles, an alicorn. He was believed to be a benevolent summoner god who was responsible for the creation of the Ponies and other creatures. She bought his sculpture herself from the no-longer-ancient lands of Grease. Lyra had some suspicions about the low price of the greatly done sculpture, but she decided not to care about that small, irrelevant issue. While the text didn't deem this object necessary, she wanted to ensure the success of her ritual. Below Pohneestotheles was settled a pot full of blutflogg, a substance of incredibly foul smell and – as Lyra heard from countless stories – even worse taste. Not that she would ever consider putting this insufferable stinker near her noble muzzle!
Several straw puppets were seated around the statue, all of them highly resembling the human creatures she envisioned. The toys were facing the sculpture with their tiny heads. They were burning and melting, the unicorn's magic greatly increasing the speed of their demise. Lyra could've sworn she heard one of them scream. Looking around, she quickly recognized the true source of the noise as an owl. The animal was sitting on a tree near Pohneestotheles.
The unicorn started to panic – that bird could disrupt the whole ritual! She mentally cursed herself for not protecting the altar sufficiently with spells. It would be a horrible waste if the months she spent on preparing it all were rendered useless by something so small! She decided to speed up the summoning process before the annoying owl decided to mess her plans up.
Lyra started to hastily voice the ancient summoning text she didn't quite understand. Thankfully for the human-obsessed Pony , the owl decided not to move an inch. It simply looked at her with unnatural curiosity. The unicorn felt great happiness surge through her body and spirit when she noticed Pohneestotheles' statue start moving! The marble alicorn jumped, and with an abrupt noise he disappeared, and another creature was thrown in his stead – a human.
With a cry of happiness, Lyra enthusiastically inspected the sleeping being. After one single glance she knew this human greatly exceeded all of her expectations and fantasies. He wore a gray military-looking uniform, adorned with countless golden decorations and some medals, giving him a certain air of authority. She deduced this one was of high standing among his society, which made her excitement grow even more. The human had white hair on his head, and he also owned a massive, niveous moustache. Near the creature laid a headwear of some sort which had probably fallen off his head during the ritual. The unicorn was quick to curiously examine it. It was a metal spiked helmet, mostly black as night, but it had a golden eagle symbol on it and some other, rather minor gold decorations.
She simply watched this creature in awe, astonished by its every movement. This human, just as she expected, was largely different than anything she – or anypony else, for that matter – had ever seen. That was just one of many reasons for her being so adamant about summoning one of them to Equestria.
-
The first thing the Iron Chancellor Otto von Bismarck noticed was a pain in his back. The bed wasn't as comfy as it had always been and it had never been really “comfy” to begin with. To add insult to the injury, he felt as if he was laying on stone. He decided to check if his suspicions were true and quickly opened his eyes, looking around.
To say the was surprised by his surroundings would be an understatement. Instead of any place he could ever recall, he was in a suspiciously green forest. The sight hardly remembered the mighty, industrial Germany he created himself. There was also a creature of aquatic colour which highly resembled a horse. It also had a horn in the middle of her head. He immediately realized it was an unicorn. It looked at him with a wide, disturbing grin, its golden eyes sparkling intensely, with intelligence he never saw in any other animal.
'Was ist das...? What is this mockery supposed to be?' he thought. He stood up carefully, keeping in mind his old, tired bones. He caressed his moustache gently, carefully considering what exactly had happened and what his current whereabouts were. 'I think it is a scheme of some sorts, possibly devised by the vile Frenchmen, or the Kaiser...' his face suddenly dropped, and sadness filled his blue eyes. 'Either that, or I am truly going mad on my final days.'
The human quickly brightened up as he noticed his Pickelhaube laying in a pile of ashes and straw. As he tried to pick it up, it suddenly started shining with mint-green light, strangely matching the colour of the unicorn's skin. He put his hands away from it. It levitated in the air and landed on his head. He noticed the creature's horn was shining with the same hue, which made the whole scene even stranger.
Needless to say, the Chancellor had never felt as confused as at this particular moment. To make the matters worse, the unicorn spoke with a voice that could only belong to a rather young female, not older than in her twenties. ”I levitated it to you so you wouldn't have to pick it up. No need to thank me!”
Bismarck felt energy leave him as the situation which made no sense to begin with started to defy all the logic and science he knew. He believed his eyes and his ears, he believed all his senses – but this day was starting to make him doubt himself and his own judgement! Nether the French nor the Kaiser could perform such... sorcery, so he was convinced it couldn't be any of their schemes.
The pony started to come closer to him, with that strangely dreadful look still on her face. The German leader decided to simply stand in his place and carefully watch whatever the unicorn intended to do. Inside him was a turmoil of confusion with a hint of dread, but on outside he appeared, as always, perfectly calm. That was one of the benefits of being so involved in politics.
“After all this, you'll need all the energy for later, no need to waste it so... needlessly. Know what I mean?” she winked at him and giggled like a little schoolgirl. Bismarck simply nodded to pretend he had any idea what she was talking about. The German highly doubted that he wanted to know what she had meant anyway. The Chancellor suspected that he wouldn't like the answer to this question, so he decided to ignore this issue.
“Where are my manners? My name is Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings.” she held her hoof out. The Iron Chancellor thought he understood the gesture, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to accept it. After a moment of consideration and thinking how this whole goddamned situation made absolutely no sense, Bismarck shook her hoof.
“Ich bin... I'm Otto von Bismarck, the first Chancellor of Germany. I'm pleased to meet you.”
Thanks for McNeil for helping me with this fic and, by doing so, improving it tenfold.