"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"How about now?"
"Like I said less than five seconds ago, NO!"
"... How bout now?"
Rainbow Dash screamed at the top of her voice and leapt in the air, bringing her muzzle face to face with Hades, who was currently the one asking annoying questions nonstop. "IT'S NOT NOW! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR STUPID BLAZING HEAD!"
Hades looked over her shoulder, spotting the sign to Sugarcube Corner and the rest of the bakery, a delightful building that looked like it was ripped out of the dreams of an obese, diabetic six year old.
"Ooh, there it is!" Hades cried out, shoving Dash aside and making his way eagerly toward the sweet shop, practically skipping in joy.
Shaking her head, Rainbow Dash followed with Twilight not far behind her. "Twi, why are we even helping this guy? He's been nothing but a pain in the flank since he got here."
"Rainbow Dash, you haven't even gotten a chance to know him," Twilight pointed out, trotting past the mare. "He might look a bit grim and scary, but I'm going to hold judgment until I spend some more time with him. You never know. He might be a nice guy."
"But Twi," Dash shouted, flapping in front of her friend. "He specifically said he's the God of the Dead. How can he be a nice guy?"
"From the numerous books on mythology I've read, the God of the Dead isn't evil. He just rules over the souls of the departed. That doesn't make him a bad guy."
"Okay then... but what about the flames? And wardrobe! And teeth! Isn't that weird?" Dash shouted, drawing straws on what else to call out on Hades.
Twilight arched an eyebrow at her. "Dash, not too long ago we went up against a God of Chaos and Disharmony that had the head of a horse, legs of a goat and lizard, a snake's tail, the wings of a bat and pegasus, and the arms of a lion and eagle. Compared to Discord, Hades seems tame."
Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Oh... yeah, right. Well, I still don't trust him."
"You don't have to," Twilight replied, smiling smugly. "Just try and be nice."
"Hey, midget horses! We headin' in or what?" Hades yelled at the pair, impatiently waiting at the doors of Sugarcube Corner. Twilight just rolled her eyes and hurried up, while Dash slumped lower to the ground and grumbled under her breath.
"Wow, it's so... tacky," Hades commented, his hand to his chin in thought as he examined his new surroundings. The shop certainly didn't improve much on the inside, with bright colors and horrid decode that made the God of the Dead squeamish just looking at it. The Underworld might be dark and bleak, but he'd prefer it any day to the mad-happy interior of Sugarcube Corner. "I mean, seriously? Gingerbread men?" he said, pointing to the painted figures on the walls.
"It's a sweet shop. What do you expect?" Twilight asked, setting the still sleeping Spike on a chair by a table. "Hey Dash, mind helping me get some water?"
"Sure thing, Twi," Rainbow Dash replied, giving Hades a glare out of the corner of her eye as she made her way in the kitchen. Just as she opened the door a bright pink streak zipped out past Dash, breaking the sound barrier in an instant without causing so much as a breeze.
The streak of pink was revealed as Pinkie Pie, the party pony jumping up and down in her usual sugar-tastic excitement. "Oh boy! We have a brand new customer!" she screamed joyfully, jumping on Hades' chest and cupping both his cheeks in her hooves while turning her eyes unnaturally wide to stare at him. "What's your name? Why is your skin gray? Why is your hair on fire? Why is it blue? Do you floss your teeth, because they're really sharp and pointy?"
Hades' brow furrowed as he dissolved into smoke, only to reappear several feet away from her, brushing off his robes. "Name's Hades, Lord of the Dead and God of the Underworld. This is just the way I look, and no, I don't floss my teeth. Who actually does that?"
Pinkie Pie just squealed in happiness and continued to bounce around, her movement so quick Hades had trouble following it. "A God! This is a first time a God visited Sugarcube Corner. Though I think you can count Celestia as one. Are Princesses considered Gods? Discord is one, but he didn't visit. But there was plenty of chocolate rain instead! Which was so sweet, with the cotton candy clouds and candy everywhere!"
Hades scooted over to Twilight and leaned down to her ear, whispering, "Hey, is the pink one's head screwed loose or something?"
The unicorn just giggled and shook her head. "Nah, she's just being Pinkie Pie. Ponyville's resident party pony."
"Ponyville? That's what you call this town?" Hades asked, a flabbergasted look on his pointy nosed face.
"Um, yeah," Twilight answered hesitantly.
"Oh yeah! You just arrived in Ponyville!" Pinkie shouted, gasping when the implications of such an event dawned on her. "Be right back!" And in another flash of pink she disappeared, the opening of the doors to the kitchen the only clue to where she went.
Rainbow Dash walked out of the door she entered, carrying a glass of water on her back. "I miss anything?" she asked, walking over to Spike and setting the water down in front of him with a wing.
"Other than the most hyped up person I've ever met asking me a whole bunch of weird questions, and the fact you guys named your town after horrible puns, than no," he said, crossing his muscular arms and pouting. "And I still didn’t get any pudding..."
Twilight began to shake Spike awake, his forehead resting on the counter as he snored quietly. "We'll get you pudding, don't worry. Be patient while I wake Spike up."
The small dragon opened one eye, still groggy and sore from the impact he received at Rainbow Dash's crash. "Huh, what happened?" he asked, stretching and yawning to loosen his muscles.
"Dash crashed into us, you got knocked unconscious, and I got you some water in case you're thirsty," Twilight quickly answered, floating the glass of water over so her assistant could quench his parched throat. Nodding, he took a big gulp of his drink, his eyes wandering about to his new surroundings, which was Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash was here, along with...
Spike spit out his water, his spit-take unfortunately being cast in Twilight's direction. "Hades! He's still—"
"Here?" the Lord of the Dead interrupted Spike, appearing by his side in an instant as he leaned closer to the dragon. "So nice of you for noticing."
"Now Hades, no funny business, okay?" Twilight said, wiping the backwash water from her face with a cloth. Rainbow Dash snickered, but Twilight chose to ignore her.
"Hey, the only business I deal with is all about the laughs," he said, casting a sadistic grin to the mare. "People really have a good sense of humor when they're dead."
"Can we please not mention dead people?" Dash interrupted, a grimace on her face. "Keep your line of work to yourself."
Hades just held his hands up in defeat. "Fine, fine. Just making casual conversation while I wait for my pudding!" he yelled, his flames becoming a bright orange for a moment.
"Did someone say pudding?" Pinkie asked, inexplicably sticking her head out of a candy jar several feet away.
"Um... yeah," he said, mystified how the pony managed to pop from a jar of all places. Maybe these colorful freaks had stranger powers than he thought. "Main reason why I came over."
"Well, let me get you some then!" she cheerfully answered, dropping back in the jar.
"Anyone mind explaining to me how she does that?" he asked, hoping the other bakery patrons might be able to shed some light on the pink one's abilities.
"She's random," Dash said, flopping down on her rump on the floor.
"She's crazy," Spike added in, jumping off his seat.
"She's Pinkie Pie. You'll get used to it soon enough," Twilight said, the unicorn digging through her bag to double check the supplies she got with Spike not more than thirty minutes ago.
"And she now has pudding!" the pink mare yelled, bouncing back to the group with a bowl full of the stuff balanced atop her head. Stopping in front of the dark god, her neck stretched forward abnormally so he may partake in his new treat. A spoon rested in the bowl of brown, chocolate goodness.
"About time!" Hades yelled, grabbing the spoon and sloshing in a mouthful. Instantly his flames grew a bright blue and he moaned in happiness. "By the Titans, this is good stuff. I don't think I've eaten grub this great, even on Olympus!" And with that he gulped down his food, the insanely awesome tasting pudding never leaving his lips for too long.
Pinkie giggled and spun around in circles, shouting, "He likes it, he likes it! Another for the mare with the mad bake skills! Let me get a holler!"
"Go Pinkie!" Spike yelled.
"You're the mare!" Dash added, a determined grin on her face.
"Your culinary skills know no end," Twilight chimed in, rolling her eyes slightly with a smile on her face at the party pony's behavior.
"I agree with that statement," the Lord of the Dead said, having polished off the remainder of the pudding in the bowl. He burped, flames leaping from his mouth that smelled of slightly burned sugar. "Got any more?" he eagerly asked, holding out the bowl.
Pinkie Pie replied by cracking her neck and grinning almost as madly as the God of the Underworld himself. "I always have more! To the bakery!"
"Um, Pinkie, we're already here," Twilight reminded her.
"Oh yeah," Pinkie giggled. "Time for more pudding!"