//------------------------------// // Chapter 13 // Story: Fallout Equestria - No More Tears // by Darkstarr48 //------------------------------// My first emotion when Rusty lunged at me was shock, then confusion. Its not that this was making me angry, I just was staggered by his sudden.. er.. confession. I did nothing to stop him, I just sort of let him do what he does. I didn't kiss back, in fact, I hardly moved. Forget making any advances on him during the moment. I didn't share these feelings for him, I didn't even know he felt this way, in fact, I believed he was gay. Now, thinking back to all those times he saved me, he did tend to give me special attention in contrast to the others. He always seemed so timid when I was around as well. Damn I'm blind, and not just because of the hit on the head. I didn't know how to react, and I didn't. He was obviously really tense over this, so I let him continue. The emotional part of this would surely be good for him. Probably. He brought a hoof along my side and I could see he had no intention of stopping. I shuddered, I liked it, but I didn't want this. As soon as I found my limbs I put a hoof to his chest and gently pushed him away. We were face to face, so I could feel his blush as he realized he got too carried away. "I uh. Um. Rusty.. Wow." I stammered pushing him further so we were both sitting upright again. He scooted away, still quite embarrassed of what he did. "When? I thought..." "Stable. Long time ago." He squeaked, his voice becoming more regretful. "Why?" I asked, keeping my sightless eyes trained on him. I didn't quite know what look I was giving him, but by his frantic stammering in search of words, It was probably a death stare, so I softened my face and hoped it didn't somehow make it worse. He relaxed a bit and thought for a minute. "You were cute. Um, you were a lot different from the other mares. You liked to be alone, you didn't obsess over petty things like fashion, or bits like the others did. When we were foals, you actually talked to me." Since he'd had a crush on me since a long time ago in the stable, it sort of gave him the feel of a stalker, but a sort of friendly one. I remember the time I went and talked to him at lunch one day when we were in school. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a dare by one of the other fillies at my table. As it turned out, he was nice, but incredibly shy. "Why did you say you were gay?" I really wanted to hear the answer to this one. "I wanted to make your brother more comfortable, I thought that if he was happy, you'd be happy." Ahhh. Clever. That was very clever. I never would have thought of that. My brother did seem at ease, well, as lax as one could be in the post apocalyptic wastes of Equestria, where everything wants your blood. "I see." We both went quiet, and the thick silence was threatening to rob me of my hearing as well. I leaned towards Rusty and put a hoof on his shoulder. "Rusty, I.." "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" He staggered up to his hooves and galloped away sadly. I sighed. From being able to pull a move like that to turning into a hermit crab. He clearly still wasn't stable, and I would like to help him out, but... that was asking a bit much from a friend. I felt slightly bad, and even selfish for still wanting to pursue Lilly. I sighed again. I would be able to think clearly and sort all this out if I didn't have so much shit to wade through. "Everything okay? It seems you scared off Rusty." Lilly's voice said softly, each one of her steps coming closer and making my head throb from the banging of the metal. She sat beside me. I sigh again and shake my head, "I don't know. I just had one of the most confusing experiences of my life just now." Funny, I didn't seem to care about any of the other things Rusty told me, his deep love interest was all that really troubled me. "How so?" She asked draping her wing over me again. "What'd he say?" Goddesses I love it when she did that. "I.. I just.. I honestly don't know how to say it." I say shaking my head. "Hes too shy for me to talk to him about anything." "About what?" She asked again. She was persistent, I could give her that. "He's apparently got a love interest for me, and before we could talk it over, he shied off." I say looking away from Lilly, hoping my hesitance on this topic wouldn't give my crush on her away. "You mean like the one you've got for me?" She asked cheekily. Fuck, I had to say it, not just now, but I had to say to my brother. 'Oh, shes so cute.' I had to fucking say it! I was burning up in embarrassment, but I couldn't make a fool of myself. "Uh.. where... where'd you hear that?" I asked, my voice was shaky and weak. "Surprisingly enough, Rusty confirmed it, but I had a sneaky suspicion. I've seen the way you look at me." I felt sick to my stomach. I was still in shock from earlier, and this just broke my brain mechanism. She giggled at me as I just stammered to myself. So Rusty knew that I wanted Lilly, and that's why he was so incredibly shy towards me. Common sense has abandoned me at this point. But then again, psychology wasn't something I paid a lot of attention to. "So, what do you think?" "Think?.. About what?" I was spending more time thinking than I was speaking. "About Rusty, what are you going to do?" "I.. I'm not sure. I guess I don't want to upset him, but I honestly don't... I don't like him that way. And then there's.. well.. you know." She giggled cheekily again, damn her smugness, "Well, whatever feels right to you, that's what you should go with." Well, that doesn't help. I never was good at thinking emotionally. I use logic to balance out the benefits and the risks of things, but sometimes I get reckless, for example, when I'm angry, or when I get out of the clinic and I'm sky high on anesthesia. I have been somewhat cold in that respect all my life. "I'm bad at that kind of thing, like, I don't know what I should do. I don't want to hurt Rusty's feelings." This was already taking its toll on me. It sucks having to make an impossible decision. I could hurt a friend, even though I'm sure he'd understand, and right here, dangling in front of me is the chance that I hoped for, which had already come so soon. Honestly, I barely knew either of them for more than a week. I audibly sighed. Lilly noticed I was really trying hard to think here so she began stroking my mane. It really did nothing but jumble my thoughts, but it was relaxing, so I leaned in against her. I began breaking this down as I would any other problem and attempted to solve it systematically. I had two decisions. One that I would prefer, and another I wouldn't. However, the one that I didn't prefer would make someone else happy, but may also result in sadness from Lilly. I decided that either way I did this, I would be hurting someone's feelings, So it was back to me at the tie breaker, and it took me right back to where I started. Damn, what a paradox. It was here I realized that sometimes, problems couldn't be solved by functions and equations, and sometimes, you had to take a step out into the darkness and hope that you don't fall. And as long as your heart is in the right place, you wont make the wrong decision. In my head, I began thinking of a way to apologize to Rusty, or at least console him for my decision. I closed my eyes and nuzzled into Lilly's neck. She scooted closer to me, tightening her wing's grip around me as I let out a long deep breath and gave a little whine. "Tough decision?" She asked still stroking my mane. I nodded into her neck. "You decided on me?" She asked again. I paused a moment before nodding again. "I feel sort of like a traitor." I whimpered, sort of beginning to tear up against her, matting the pristine white coat of her neck with tears. "He's done a lot for me." "Its alright, its okay." She comforted, resting her head atop mine.I closed my eyes again,letting her warmth sap away my sadness. My mind was eventually clear enough to let myself be pulled under by the sanctuary of sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long hard day. OooOoooOOOoooOooO I was back in that crystal spire again. Like in the mountains, it wasnt as clear as it was back in Old appleoosa, but I was in control of a body. And this time, it actually was my body. It was very in depth for a dream though. I had all of my senses again, as opposed to most other dreams, where Im given only a faint glimpse of a vague subject before being awoken the next day. I again was at the top of the spire, letting the wind blow through my mane. I smiled and looked down on the ants of my kingdom, hundreds of feet below. I didnt mean ants to sound inferior, but at this height, they literally looked like ants. Not the enormous ones that would find their way into the stabe though. I mean proper ants. I doubted that these dreams really meant anything, but I sure enjoyed them. I guessed I used it as an escape, because I had this dream whenever I was troubled. I wished I had wings so I could fly from my spot on the tower, but I didn't, so I stood up on my hind legs and put my arms on the railing, feeling the high altitude wind blow through my mane. I smiled and breathed in the fresh air and decided that since it was a dream, I could have wings if I wanted to, so I climbed up onto the balcony and let physics do its work. I plummeted to the ground, cutting through the air at blinding speeds, and when I reached about a hundred feet, I began to arc, and blew along the ground at no more than a few feet. I was flying, and It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I don't know how I knew what it felt like, but it made me feel free, and I immediatley began to forget all about what happened today and focused on flying. I arced upward, rolling over and helixing back down to the ground. I flew between gaps in buildings and through a nearby belltower, knocking the bell with my hoof as I passed. Its deep ringing fading as I began to climb again for another descent. I rounded the top of my flight path, and began to glide down, preparing to land. I began falling faster and faster, and I attempted to pull up, but my wings werent responding, I couldnt feel them anymore. This was not going to feel good. The impact had done much worse than I had expected to, evne in my dreamworld, pain still existed, and as I smashed into the ground at barley subsonic speed, I felt every bone in my body bend, break, shatter, or puncture through my skin. I lay on the ground, broken, bleeding and screaming in agony as I looked down at my ragged body. I cried for help and felt my tears beginning to pool together under me. From a distance, Rusty galloped up to me, with his medical saddlebags open, holding multiple healing potions and bandages. I smiled in relief when he kneeled beside my. My relief came too early however. He looked over me and groaned. "Oh.. Its you." He grumbled and stood up, trotting away. I called desperatley for him to come back, but he only swished his tail spitefully, stuffing his healing supplies back into his bags. I whimpered and began to cry again, both in pain and sadness. From his direction, another pony came galloping up, I became hopeful again, that maybe he had sent help, but that hope died in the pipe. Up ran up a fully grown, red eyed Boomer, spattered in blood, laughing inanely. The image unsettled me, but I really became terrified when he ran up to me and looked over me as If I was a meal for him. Something about the blood told me I was about to be. I gulped and cried in dispair. He bit down on my tail, and pulled me around and then up agianst him. At this point, I was almost unconscious from blood loss, and then to add to the bleeding, he darted down, tearing a generously sized chunk out of my neck and laughed triumphantly as my juggular began to furiously spurt blood. I screamed, but it only came out as a panicked gargle as Boomer continued to eat me piece by piece. Eventually, he tore open my chest and tore out my still beating heart and showed it to me, displaying its bloody glint in the eerily happy sunlight. He opened his mouth wide and clamped down on my heart, causing it to explode bloodily, showering everything nearby in red. My vision began to go black and my screams began to fade. OooOooOOOooOooO I woke in the same place that I did when I fell asleep. I was nestled underneath Lilly's head and tucked under her wing. I was panting like I had just run a marathon. I was also hot and clammy, which was understandable, not just because of the horrifying dream, but because also because Lilly was so warm. I brought my hooves up to my eyes, waving them in front of my face. I still lacked any kind of vision. I took a deep breath and buried my face back into Lilly's neck. I cried over my dream. Not because it was so horrible, but because I could see all of that happening. I imagine that Rusty wouldn't be too happy with me. Also, while it hadnt been on my mind too much of late, I had thought about what Bommer would turn into when he grew up. I was afraid of something like that happening to him, after all, I saw what he did to that other raider. Maybe we should but some effort into taming him down. I didnt want to think about this anymore. I just wanted to forget today, and I guess my dreamland wasnt safe from terrors anymore. I nuzzled up agasinst Lilly more and brought her wing tightly around me. She stirred, but didn't wake. I covered up my face with her wing and closed my eyes. That night's sleep was shallow and dreamless. * * * I woke to Lilly gently nudging me with her hoof, when I opened my eyes, I received a dark blur with a twinge of varying degrees of light. "You alright? You're all hot and sweaty. Have a nightmare?" I gave an enormous yawn and nod. "Wanna talk about it?" I really wouldn't cause I'm sure she's sick of hearing about my problems. I shook my head and closed my eyes. "Hows your vision?" "I can see light and dark blurs. And a little bit of color." I smiled, realizing that I would have my vision back after all. It was little comfort for the troubles of the day, but it helped. I sat up, slipping out of Lilly's grasp and stumbled up to my hooves, stretching out awkwardly to avoid falling off the container. I was stiff as I had been in a long time, and took another round of stretching. Lilly giggled. "Why do you stretch like that? Its so weird." "You're weird." I say sticking out my tongue and cracking my neck. "You look like you're about to take it up the butt." She joked. I felt myself blush. That certainly wasn't something I wanted in a wasteland filled with violent horndogs. "I.. I don't even know what to say about that one. I've always stretched like this. How am I supposed to stretch then?" I honestly wanted to know. What kind of muscle relaxation have I been missing out on? "Nah, you're cute when you're clueless, you know everything too often. It makes me feel dumb." She laughed as I shot her a look. I was too tired to care too much about it, so I shrugged. "So when are we heading back to New Appleoosa? I'd like to go get some rest there." "Ehh, as soon as you're ready. We've packed a ton of new weapons. Most of the factory is unexplored, but we want to go ahead and get out of here." "I'm ready." "Good, we're actually waiting on Ditzy to come with the cart to take us back. She should be here any minute. The others said they would tell her to come for us when they got back to town." Ah, so when we get back, the town should be fortified. Hopefully, Ill have my vision back by then, because my sight had improved since I had woken up, I could now see colors, but everything was still a blur. "Um, take me down to the ground and outside?" I asked looking about, observing the color changes at different elevations of the factory. "Please?" She chuckled and said, "Yeah, come here, lets go." I nodded and stumbled over to her and found my way under her wing. She lead me down the ramps and down to the floor. "Ah there you are, you two ready to go?" Wendy asked. "Cause I'm starting to get fuckin' impatient." Boomer said trotting around in circles urgently. "Yeah, we're ready and waiting on Ditzy." Lilly said as I opened my mouth to say the same thing. Rusty didn't say anything. I could imagine him glaring at me even though he probably wasn't. "Let's go then." Lilly began leading me to the door, and three sets of hooves followed us. We stepped out into the sunlight which was blindingly bright in contrast to the darkness inside the factory. I even had to squint my eyes, because all I could see was white. We all stood around, letting our eyes adjust and waiting on Derpy, who eventually landed In a heavy gust of air that nearly knocked me over. How was I so helpless without my sight? I was last to be herded into the back of the cart which was crowded until Lilly and Wendy got out to fly, leaving me, Rusty and Boomer. I felt the cart lurch and we were soon in the air. None of us spoke, except Boomer, who didn't actually speak. He only sort of mumbled to himself in sick anticipation. I decided that this was crushing me so I scanned around until I was looking at a reddish brown blur. I cleared my throat and sighed. "Rusty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.." "No." Um, no what? Was he that mad at me? "No, I'm sorry. It was my fault for pulling something like that and expecting you to embrace me with open arms." Well that was unexpected, but then again, I was new to relationships. "Really?" I asked raising an eye looking at him again. He nodded. "I am a bit sad, but I'll get over it. You aren't the only mare out there." He said with a little sigh. "No hard feelings?" I asked tilting my head. "No hard feelings." He echoed. He extended a hoof for a shake. I brought my hoof up to his and pushed it aside. He sighed sadly, but I leaned in and gave him a big hug, which softened him up. I felt him give a relaxed sigh, then he smiled. It was about this time when Boomer stopped rambling to himself and chimed in. "Uhhhh, did I miss something? Did you all fuck?" God I wanted to smack him, but i looked at Rusty who looked back at me with the same mischievous glint in his eyes. "Yeah, you missed it, this was a while back." I said grinning. "Yeah, we just found out she was pregnant with my child." Rusty said holding in a snicker. "Wha.. Really?" Boomer asked, his eyes going wide. "No, no way." He began to laugh. "Yeah, you're gonna be a dad." I say tipping Rusty on the nose with my hoof. He nipped back at me with a grin. I felt that this joke was gonna go too far, but oh well, I'm sure this will be worth it. It was fun to mess with Boomer. He chuckled. "Good for you two. I think. Don't be assholes to your kid like mine were to me. When I was a little foal, my real parents left me alone under a bridge with nothing but but a firecracker and a single match." We both stopped laughing to ourselves and I let go of Rusty. We both sat up, and Boomer returned to his self ramblings. "That's rough. Sort of ruined the fun." I say. He nodded in agreement. "Well at least we've got some insight on why he is the way he is." "Yeah." He seemed to be in thought. When he came back, he asked, " You know... Hypothetically... If we did have a kid." I laugh and shake my head right there. "Not likely, and besides, I think I'm gonna try and straighten that out first." I motion to the quivering colt who was surely enjoying his imaginative rendition of his new toys in action. He snickered, "Good luck with that." We felt the cart lurch again as it began it's descent. Soon, we were on the ground and I was being led out of the cart by Lilly. I could tell because my vision had returned to the point where I could make out the colors, light, and shape. I smiled and looked around the town. I could hear steady, controlled gunfire from one side of the town. From the corner of my eye, I saw the approaching sheriff. "Welcome back, y'all did a fine job. Ain't never seen guns this fine. We're trainin everyone to use em now. Were gonna start fortifyin the town for attack soon. Yer works done, and as promised, you get the house on the edge of town. We appreciate all your work." He pulled up my hoof and handed me a scroll of paper and a key, which I presumed to be the deed. "Y'all take it easy now. I gotta get back to the range." He trotted off and I looked around at my excited party, who quickly ushered me along to our house. I stood on the doorstep and levitated out the key and slid it into the lock and popped the door open. By the gasps of my friends, it sounded good. Very good. I trotted in and slumped down onto the nearest couch which was softer than a bed in the stable. Ohhhh.. A mare could get used to this. I grinned and stretched out on the sofa, letting myself really relax for the first time in days. ================================================================================ Footnote: Level Up Perk Added: Home sweet Home: You have found a nice comfortable place to call your home and have become more organized because of it. +15 barter in New Appleoosa affiliates. +15 guns due to the range in town. ================================================================ I'd like to thank KKat for writing the original Fo:E for writing an unbelievably great story, and Somber, for writing Project Horizons, the story that pushed me over the edge and forced me to try my hand in writing.