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// Pervert Pony Caught Watching Dreams  
// Story: The Onion: Equestrian Bureau 
// by The Read Later List 
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Pervert Pony Caught Watching Dreams

Ponyville, Equestria- After several complaints of ponies' dreams being invaded by an outside party, local police chief, No Warrant, confirmed Tuesday that their main focus is to nab this sleeping, peeping tom. 

"Now, there is no telling who is doing this, but ever since the Nightmare moon incident, everypony has been complaining of this strange presence in their dreams." The police chief said to our on scene reporter.  

Several reports involved  have unanimously agreed on multiple aspects of the occurrences.  Each vaguely described instances of the sounds of heavy breathing, soft whispers, and a strange set of blue eyes.  

"I was just sleeping on a cloud like I usually do, dreaming of showering with the Wonderbolts," commented local athlete, Rainbow Dash, "when all of the sudden I heard this strange squishing noise, like someone was stepping in mud.  It was totally not awesome." Although it is unlikely we will ever find this pervy pony, the police are trying a new technique to draw him/her out.

"We are baiting the perp out with a small group of scantily clad fillies who surprisingly volunteered to aid us," said No Warrant.  "Then, when the fillies fall asleep, we'll go into their dreams and beat the shit outta the perv.  May Luna watch over us as we journey into a realm of the unknown."