//------------------------------// // 2. Taking Risks // Story: Dysphoria, Arc 2: Ponyville // by thedarkprep //------------------------------// 2. Taking Risks A full moon blessed the night sky, illuminating the world below as the stars struggled to match its brilliance. As was common for Ponyville, not many ponies were still outside, giving the night a calm silence that cradled the world’s sound in its own quiet symphony: a cricket chirping here, the rustling of trees there, and the whispers of candlelight there. The night had its own distinct smell, a combination of rain and grass, carried in cool currents from the nearby trees and nighttime dew. Rose normally found comfort in these and the many other wonders of the night, but there was no comfort to be found tonight as she went forth on her solitary trek down the all too familiar path to Twilight’s home. She was wearing a casual lavender dress and had her bag on her back, more packed than it usually tended to be. Inside this bag was a letter, and despite it being covered by the materials of the bag, Rose could imagine it clearly enough in her mind. “Why is it that Twilight’s letters always cause me such stress,” she asked no one in particular. A cool breeze toyed with her mane but she was not in the right mindset to enjoy it. Her mind was still stuck at that conversation she had with Twilight at her house three days before. Laughter rung out throughout Rose’s home as Twilight and her host attempted to regain control. “So what happened next?” asked Rose in between deep breaths. Twilight was clutching her chest and trying to fight back another batch of laughter. “Fluttershy said, ‘but you're bigger than she is, and you should know better.’ I wish you could’ve seen the look on the dragon’s face!” laughed Twilight. “Wow, you need to take me on one of your adventures sometime Twilight. I need better stories.” “I would if I could tell apart the missions that will create funny stories and the ones that would probably kill us before we got there.” “Point taken,” said Rose. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. Rose enjoyed moments like this, the calm silences that spoke louder than any noise ever could. She looked at Twilight, thinking of how just a few months ago the silence between them had been of a completely different sort. “Funny how things evolve,” she thought to herself, allowing a soft smile to form on her lips. She then got up and started collecting the empty plates from the table, taking them to the kitchen. Twilight got up as well. “Oh, please let me help.” “No no,” responded Rose, “you are the guest and I am the hostess. When you are the host you can inconvenience yourself all you want but right now it’s my job.” “Well, thank you for the wonderful dinner,” Twilight said, “That stew was simply delicious.” “You’re welcome, Twi. You can take some home if you want, we’ve got some left over,” Rose said, checking the serving dish. “No, that’s ok,” Twilight said. “However, speaking of playing hostess; I do believe that it’s my turn to host one of our little get-togethers, right?” Rose looked around her own house as if making sure of where she was. “It would appear so, yes.” “Well, I believe I know what it’s going to be,” Twilight said, pulling out a small envelope. Rose eyed the envelope with suspicion, taking it but then finding herself unwilling to open it. “What is this, Twilight?” “That thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Twilight responded, allowing herself a smirk. “Oh, so we’re finally talking about it.” Rose continued to stare at the envelope. Never before had she wished more for the ability to see through solid objects. “Well, what if I don’t want to open it?” “Oh,” Twilight said with mock concern. “Then I guess you’ll just never know what was written inside it, or what I wanted to talk to you about.” Twilight eyed Rose with a confident smirk. Rose gave in, opened the envelope, took out the letter within it, and began to read. The effects were instantaneous. Rose’s eyes widened while her mouth hung slightly agape. After reading the letter, Rose turned to look at Twilight with fear in her eyes. “You’re serious?” “Completely.” “But I’m…” “One of my really good friends and a wonderful mare that I like hanging out with,” Twilight interrupted her, giving her a disapproving glare. After a second, her eyes softened. “Look, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know how nervous you get,” Twilight said. “But I would really love for you to be there, and I’m sure the others would love to meet you.” Rose looked up from the letter she had been re-reading at that. “Others meet me? Who’s going to be there?” Rose asked. Twilight thought for a second. “Well, I haven’t actually gotten responses yet, but some ponies you haven’t met yet. In fact, you and I are going to be the only ones from our small little group that will be in attendance,” said Twilight, before adding, “That is, if you decide to go.” “I’m guessing the rest are busy preparing for winter?” “Yes, more or less.” Rose thought about it, staring at the letter again. Every part of her told her that agreeing would be a mistake. Yes, one should take risks in order to make new friends; but there was a difference between taking risks and being outright reckless. Still, she couldn’t help but think of the journal entry she had just written in her notebook an hour ago. “I did say I needed to change things and to make efforts to make new friends,” she thought to herself. “Yeah, this is a way bigger risk than I had wanted to take, but it is a perfect chance to start getting to know the ponies of Ponyville. Besides, this is Twilight’s idea. She wouldn’t lead you to harm, right?” Rose turned to look at Twilight. She had a nervous smile on her face and was obviously trying to show that she would be ok with whatever Rose chose. But she would not. She wanted Rose there. Rose could tell. Despite her fears and reservations, Rose managed to speak the hardest sentence she had had to speak in weeks. “Ok Twilight, I’ll go to your sleepover.” “I hope I made the right choice,” said Rose. She was now standing directly outside of Twilight’s home. She could see lights pouring out of the windows and could hear the sound of voices on the other side of the door. As far as she knew, no one knew she was there yet. She raised her front hoof to knock but then brought it back down without touching the door. She was still afraid and nervous. Despite her best efforts, Rose could not help calculating all the ways in which this sleepover was a horrible idea. First was the fact that there would be other mares there, since the invitation specifically said it was a mare-only party. She was already paranoid of being outed in normal social situations, which was part of the reason she avoided them. She was not confident in her ability to pass and was certain somepony would notice and point her out to the world as a transpony. However, here was the added threat that if she were outed at a mare-only event, the mares might react aggressively or panic. Second was the fact that she had never been to a sleepover period. This meant that even if she could somehow pass in regards to what people saw, she probably could not pass in regards to what people did. Social norms for social events are learnt through going to those events with one’s peers. Having never had that opportunity meant that there was always a chance of doing something that could out her to the others. Third was the fact that it was not only her who would suffer if she got outed. She could lie and say that Twilight did not know she was trans, but Twilight would argue back against that… she would not let Rose be the only one in trouble. Twilight obviously trusted Rose to do things right, otherwise she would not have put her own reputation on the line like this, but Rose was not sure she would be able to do so. She was scared. Rose sighed. She wished that the others could be here to help her through this, not that she didn’t know what they would say. In fact, she had spoken to them about this very thing in the two days between when she found out and today. Rarity simply assured her that she would be fine and that she worried too much. Rainbow Dash and Applejack said that she was ‘the most feminine filly this side of Rarity!’ and therefore should have no trouble passing. Fluttershy reminded her that, it being Twilight’s sleepover, Twilight would be there to make sure she was safe. She had not been able to talk to Pinkie, since she was at home visiting her family at their rock farm, but Rose had received a letter from a carrier pigeon with the words "you’ll be fine, just remember to have fun" written on it, so she assumed Pinkie knew. The temperature started dropping, with the wind picking up some the longer she waited. “No sense in postponing this longer.” She knocked. After a few seconds wait, Twilight opened the door with a bright smile and wide eyes. “Rose! I’m so glad you could make it. Oh! I love the dress. Rarity?” asked Twilight. Rose just smiled and nodded, the fear in her stomach rendering her mute. “Well, come right in, everypony else is already here.” The two mares stepped inside. On the floor of the library there were six sleeping bags arranged in a loose cluster. The library also had a collection of cushions and chairs that Rose had not really seen before, as well as a table of snacks and drinks. It also contained the other party guests, to whom Rose was introduced to by Twilight. “Let’s see,” Twilight said as she walked towards one of her guests. She was a white unicorn with blue hair and violet shades. At the moment she was setting up what looked like a very elaborate sound system. “Rose, this is Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl, this is Evening Rose.” “Pleasure to meet you Rose,” Vinyl said, taking a break from setting up the speakers. “Likewise,” said Rose, eyeing the speakers. “I take it you’re a DJ?” “Yeah,” responded Vinyl, tapping her speaker system. “I normally only bring this baby out for shows, but I figured we could use some music while in here and the movie is going to sound awesome once I get this set up.” Twilight looked at Vinyl with concern on her face, knowing exactly how loud that particular speaker system could get, but decided against saying anything. Instead she walked Rose to where two other ponies sat. One was a mint-green unicorn with a white and green mane playing a lyre, while the other, an earth pony with a beige coat and a blue and rose pink mane, listened. “That’s a really pretty song,” said Rose as she approached. The unicorn stopped playing and turned to face her with a smile. “Thank you! I’m Lyra and this here is Bon Bon,” she said, pointing at the beige pony. “I don’t think we’ve met before.” “My name is Evening Rose, or Rose for short. I’m fairly new,” said Rose. “Evening Rose, huh?” said Lyra. “Hm... I got it! ER for short!” Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind her Rose; she’s just a little eccentric at times. And you,” she said, turning to face Lyra, “you heard her tell you her nickname, so why would you go making a new nickname for her?” “Because it’s fun riling you up?” said Lyra. Bon Bon scowled but Rose and Twilight could not help but laugh. Twilight then led Rose to a grey pegasus with a blond mane standing next to the food table. “Rose, this is Ditzy Doo. Ditzy, this is Evening Rose.” The mare swallowed the muffin she had been eating before responding. “Oh, hi! Nice to meet you, Rose. You can call me Derpy,” she said. That name and her wayward eye jogged something in Rose’s memories. “Oh! I remember you. You are the mailmare! You and your daughter Dinky wrote that letter.” Derpy stared at her with confusion. “Um… What letter?” Rose was about to clarify when she caught her mistake, and quickly worked to revise it. “Oh, I’m Script’s sister. I took over his house after he left to go to Manehattan. He showed me the letters before he left so that I would know the ponies in town.” Rose waited anxiously for a response from Derpy, with Twilight ready to step in if needed. “That was very nice of him! I’m sorry he couldn’t stay, but I’m at least glad I got to meet you and that you’re not as shy as he is.” Derpy smiled. Rose let go of a breath she did not know she had been holding. Twilight smiled and allowed herself a sigh of relief. She then mingled, keeping an eye on things but making sure to keep conversations going, allowing the invited ponies to do the same. As soon as Vinyl was done setting up her speakers and the movie playing system, the ponies arranged the chairs and watched a horror movie about a ghost that attacked ponies in their sleep in Luna’s absence. Vinyl had been right in that her sound system would make the movie sound amazing. Enhanced by her audio equipment, every low rumble and every soft echo was enhanced to truly immerse the audience in sound. More than once did a pony (usually Twilight, Rose, or Bon Bon) scream in terror while Lyra and Vinyl laughed maniacally. After the movie ended Vinyl put her party playlist through the speaker system, so dubbed because she could enjoy the party instead of working the turntables. It lasted long enough to allow the ponies to talk, socialize, and dance to their hearts’ content before a single track replayed; as such, the ponies talked, danced, and partied for hours. Once they had all had their fill of music, the ponies helped Vinyl tear down her equipment and pack it up (since the most technical instruction needed was ‘unplug everything carefully and place it over there’), after which they made smores. Derpy, Rose, and Vinyl managed to do so without any difficulty. In fact, Derpy showcased an amazing talent at making perfect smores every time, both in shape and consistency. Twilight, Bon Bon, and Lyra, however, had no such luck. After their attempt at a scientifically perfect smore ended up in an explosion of chocolate, Derpy volunteered to make their smores for them. Eventually the eating of smores ended and the group found themselves sitting in a circle. Well, most of them were sitting, with the exception of Lyra, who was walking around on her back legs as Twilight counted down. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Augh!” Lyra smiled. “Told you I could do it!” Twilight removed a point from her own score and added one to Lyra’s before responding. “Yeah, I should’ve known something was up when Bon Bon started laughing hysterically,” she said, eyeing Bon Bon, who merely shrugged. “Anyway, it’s your turn.” Lyra looked around, grinning widely as she made her choice. “Bon Bon! Truth or Dare?” “Truth,” the mare responded. Lyra scoffed. “You’re no fun.” Bon Bon simply smiled. “Fine… Umm, well… What is your most prized possession?” Bon Bon smiled. “You know perfectly well what that is, Lyra.” Lyra smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t know what else to ask, I panicked.” Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Well, for the benefit of those who aren’t Lyra, it is this!” Bon Bon pulled out a notebook. One could tell by looking at it that it was old, but it looked to be kept in perfect condition. “This has every candy recipe of mine and every candy experiment I’ve ever tried. It contains years of trial and error towards making the best sweets in Equestria.” They all eyed the notebook with curiosity while the same thought crossed their minds. “If what she’s saying is true, that notebook is worth its weight in gold, which could buy a lot of chocolate.” Then Derpy yawned. Twilight turned to look at Derpy and then looked out the window, seeing the position of the moon in its arc. “I think now is a good a time as any to get some sleep,” Twilight said. All the ponies began their nighttime preparations, with Rose going to Twilight’s restroom to change into pajamas, and it was not long at all before they were all in their own sleeping bags. They all wished each other goodnight. Twilight then used her magic to turn off the lights. Rose walked down the barely lit hallway until she reached the wooden door at the end. She knocked. “Come in.” She walked inside and noticed a too familiar scene. Her dad was working at his desk while her mom read a newspaper on her bed. Rich Rhyme, her father, turned to look at her with nothing but disgust and contempt on his face. He walked up to her. This time she did not close her eyes as stood next to her, turned around, positioned his hooves, and kicked. Rose awoke with cold sweat running down her face. She immediately noticed that, even in her sleeping bag, she had been grabbing her front right leg with her left, hoof resting at the joint. She sighed. She had been having those dreams ever since the incident. The problem was that she would have them for a while, get used to them, and then they would stop, only to surprise her once she had let her guard down. She looked around, making sure she had not accidentally awakened any of the sleeping ponies. After giving the room a sweeping look she ascertained that all the ponies were asleep, with the exception of one. From her sleeping bag Vinyl Scratch was staring at Rose with a pensive expression. The two mares maintained eye contact for a few moments, each appraising the other and trying to read the other’s thoughts. After a while, Vinyl got up and walked over to the door, motioning for Rose to follow. Rose watched as Vinyl used her magic on the door, opening it without making a single sound, before stepping outside. Rose got up and followed. Once Rose was outside, Vinyl used her magic to soundlessly close the door again. She then used her magic to envelop the entire library before turning to face Rose. “How did you do that? What did you do?” Vinyl smiled. “Soundproof spells. One of the great things about understanding sound the way I do is that I can make spells that cut out sounds as well as make them. We can talk now without worrying about waking the others. Now,” she said, taking a breath before continuing. “Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Rose was caught unaware by this question. “Um… no, not really; you’re the one that asked me outside. Do you have something you’d like to tell me?” Vinyl gave her an appraising look before responding. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?” Rose’s eyes widened. She tried to recall her dream, thinking of anything she might have said that could’ve given her away. To her relief, all she could remember saying in the dream was her cries for help. “Still,” she thought, “Better to play it defensively.” “Oh I do?” she said to Vinyl “That’s very strange.” Vinyl stared at the moon for a short while before speaking again. “Yeah… it is,” she finally said. “Especially since you talked in a voice that was much deeper than the voice you use while awake.” A shock ran down Rose’s spine as she realized the implication of the statement. As if to cement the point, Vinyl chose this moment to turn back to face Rose. “Script never really left town, did he?” Rose’s heart beat frantically against her chest, as if attempting to break free. She looked away from Vinyl to stop her from being able to see the tears forming in her eyes. “It’s done,” Rose thought to herself. “I knew coming here was a bad idea… I should run; I should hide. Twilight will understand if I just fly away right now before things get worse.” Vinyl must have noticed Rose’s intentions because she soon started speaking in a soothing tone. “Look, you don’t have to worry; I just want to talk ok?” Rose turned to look at her. She was very much still panicking and in no state to talk, but she was listening, so Vinyl continued. “First off I want to tell you that it wasn’t obvious. If I hadn’t heard you myself I wouldn’t have believed it. I’m assuming Twilight knows?” Rose nodded, still being unable to speak. “That makes sense,” said Vinyl. “I saw her keeping a close eye on you and stepping in whenever you started to look flustered all night. I didn’t know what it was about, kind of figured she had a crush on you or something, but I guess she was protecting you.” Vinyl stared at Rose as she struggled to slow down her heartbeat. Eventually she calmed down to the point that she could speak. “So… you’re not mad?” asked Rose. “Mad?” replied Vinyl. “Are you kidding? Of course I’m not mad; you’re a lot of fun! If I’m mad about anything it’s that when I asked you what your biggest secret was in truth or dare, this didn’t come up. I could’ve won had I known you were keeping something like this hidden. It’s ok though, I know you have your reasons for not telling.” Rose brightened up at this and followed Vinyl as she walked back towards the library. However, before turning off the soundproofing spell, Vinyl turned to look at Rose again. “I just want you to know that your secret safe with me, ok? Also, you make a beautiful mare.” Vinyl then turned off the spell and headed inside with Rose not far behind her. Rose got into her sleeping bag and was soon fast asleep, this time receiving far more restful dreams. The morning sun shone through the window, warmly illuminating the inside of the library in which the ponies slept, and it continued to do so even when the library was consumed by a hurried frenzy in the shape of un-brushed manes, frantic cleaning/packing, and overslept ponies. Each of the invited ponies packed up their belongings, looking for anything they may be missing, while also assisting Twilight in the cleaning of the library. This resulted in a lot of crashes between a lot of easily distracted and preoccupied ponies. The latest of these crashes was between Rose and Bon Bon. “I’m sorry,” both mares yelled as all their belongings crashed onto the floor. Bon Bon had been distracted by Twilight’s voice, while Rose had been watching the spectacle of Derpy attempting to remove melted marshmallow from her mane instead of watching where she was going. However, despite both mares apologizing, their minds were not on whose fault it was, but rather in collecting their belongings as quickly as possible. “Here, I can clean this up!” they both yelled again. Soon everything had been picked up. Rose, however, was the only one to notice the notebook by the stairs. “Hey Bon Bon!” Rose yelled. “I found your notebook!” Bon Bon hurried over. “Thank you soo much for noticing it! I don’t know what I would’ve done without it. In my mind it was already in my bag so I wouldn’t have noticed until I had an order to fill,” said Bon Bon. “It’s no problem, though I’m honestly starting to wonder why I gave it back to you so early. I could’ve made myself some candy first at least,” Rose said. Bon Bon laughed. Pretty soon the library was spotless and Twilight officially declared this sleepover a success, murmuring something about having had fewer mishaps than the last one. None of the ponies present understood what she meant, but they cheered anyway, after which they exchanged goodbyes before heading home. “Goodbye Twilight, thank you for the awesome sleepover!” said Bon Bon as she walked home with Lyra, not noticing that there was an extra traveling notebook inside her bag along for the ride.