Pitch black. In my eyes, there was nothing but that. I couldn't feel a thing except for the fact that I knew I was awake. I knew I was there, only... only that I didn't know where or when. I just was. There was nothing: no sound could be picked out, no sensation could be felt. I couldn't hear myself think, of at least try to think. Not too long passed before the silence broke.
"So you say that this stallion here is your friend?" said a voice, strangely clear and close to me. The silence before it hadn't been unnerving, but I preferred listening to something instead of staying in a void. I preferred it so much.
The voice itself was reminiscent of something else, like I once knew somebody with a voice like that.
"I met him a short time ago; around a day ago."
The second voice rung as even closer to my memories. It sounded deeper; a male, perhaps? Was somebody, there, with me? Or was I... not myself once again?
"You met me a few hours ago," answered the first speaker, a slight incredulity present on its voice.
"Yes, it's... it's quite the story; to be honest..." replied the other voice, before leaving out a light chuckle. "I might tell you the whole story if we get the chance, Frost."
Frost. That name... I've heard it before...
"Hoarfrost." corrected the first voice. I had started to interpret sound so much better by then. It sounded like a female. Was she... was she the mare?
I'm back here, then...
"Eh, there isn't much of a difference."
"Anyway, is this colt ever going to come back?" asked the mare, with a clear hint of impatience in her voice.
"It was your fault. I didn't say that you had to hit him like that," responded the second voice, one that remarkably sounded like that stallion... that stallion Railroad. Was that his name? Was I, again, in there?
"Give me a break: you don't even know how horrible it was to even be here before you arrived," said the mare, somewhat louder, her voice taking a tone of offended defensiveness. "You can't even imagine the things I've— he's waking up." Her voice went back to normal as she said those last words.
"That was a big change in tone, huh?" asked the stallion, jokingly. There was silence for a moment, before he spoke up again: "What was his name again?"
"Do you think I might know...?" replied the mare. "Plus, is it that important?"
"It had something to do with clothing..."
"Hanger. Hanger the... Troubled Impaler of Plants—"
"Silk Thread, I remember now."
That's... his name. Indeed, I'm here. I thought I was hearing voices again... Though I don't know if this is any better...
She left out a chuckle. "That sounds like a mare's— no, a filly's name," she corrected. "He sounds a tad... weak."
"You'd be wrong," replied Rail.
"How did you meet him?" asked the mare, the slightest interest present in her voice.
"Hehe, I guess I never told you about my life. I work as a train conductor."
"So Silky, here, met you there."
"Yes, we met there. He's a really nice colt—"
"You think everyone is nice," replied the mare, her tone of voice coming back to her defensive one. "You met one of those... things... and you thought if might have been friendly and all."
"I think they were. They looked like it, at least..." he replied in his trademark calm voice. I heard one or maybe two steps before I heard his voice, much closer: "Hey, Silk, can you hear me?"
"I don't think he can," answered the mare, with a hint of impatience being appreciable.
Rail, then, turned back. His voice went towards Frost's before speaking again: "Well, then... we better get going, no?"
"Yes! Oh, thank Celestia, I thought you'd never say that," replied the mare, excitement showing in her voice. "Let's just stuff Delicatehooves back there and rush out of here."
"Alright," he replied, before leaving out a laugh. "Heh, he better get comfortable back there or he's going to be very sore when he wakes up. Anyway, are going to, or should I?"
"I've got this," replied Frost before I felt myself, or rather, Silk, being lifted and carelessly dropped over a wooden surface. The hit shook my head, or Silk's head, to be precise, more than necessary and left me with a ringing in my imaginary ears. Hoofsteps sounded, nearing me and then leaving. Whatever was happening, it sounded important.
"If he even wakes up..." I heard the faint voice of the mare, mumbling beneath her breath. It sounded inexplicably sour, almost filled with malice. "Well, Railroad, are you ready to go?" she asked, her voice adopting a cheery tone.
"I'm ready. How about you?"
"We should have gone already, don't you think?" she asked, her voice expressing her impatience once again.
Where are they going? Where are... we... going to?
Before I could hear anything else, I blanked out again. Huh, it sure happens a lot...
My consciousness returned once again after a very long while. I felt nothing for a very long patch of time, yet I knew something was happening to me.
W-where am I? I'm moving. I hear hoofsteps and sand. It's not daytime yet. I hear sand. Oh, please, mind, send me to reality...
"Are you even sure we'll get there soon?"
Who is she, exactly? I haven't met anyone lately. Maybe... maybe they're—
"Of course we will, Frost. I know this place very well and I know we're nearing it. At this rate, we'll get there in an hour or two."
That voice... I've heard it before, I'm sure. It sounds like... like... Like someone I shouldn't know.
"Come on, Rail, trot faster. I am not going to take the risk of this filly back there waking up."
"Heh, alright. Though I don't think that's going to make it better, Frost..."
Rail. I do know him: the train conductor. Silk was thinking, after a long time where the only sound were my own thoughts. Nightmare must have dropped him here with me. ...That means I went the wrong way after losing my consciousness and that I was in a completely different place. ...Ugh, I hate this situation so much. It really could get worse, but don't you even try, fate.
Silk groaned after that line of thought ended, together with kicking a hoof against the wood. A mute thump came from behind Rail and Frost, at which her ears perked up.
"Seems like you woke him up," said Railroad in his trademark calm voice.
"Well, Mr. Softyhooves needs to learn to wake up before. Or later, I don't mind." Hoarfrost sounded irritated, like something was deeply bothering her.
Silk stood up and leaned on the wagon, letting his mane hang limply over his head.
"What a strange way of meeting, huh, Silk?" said Rail, leaving out a chuckle. "I think you know very well what happened yesterday. Wow, yesterday, and it feels like it was forever ago." He turned his head around to face the rising colt.
"I say the same thing."
"Rail, eyes on the road," said Hoarfrost, harshly.
"Don't worry, I can do both," replied Rail, trying his best at smiling to the impatient mare. "Say, Silk, how have you been holding up in this last day? I do not see your saddlebags anywhere near you."
"I lost them after the... the incident. There were a bunch of things there..." said Silk before sighing. He raised his head, his gaze reaching the starry skies in the distance. "Not that there was much I could have done, anyway. They're gone now."
"Yes, nothing but to advance forward," said Rail, nodding lightly before smiling at the leaning stallion.
"Excuse me, you two... are you two a couple or what?" asked Hoarfrost, stopping on her tracks, not amused in the slightest. "Hey, Silky, get down from there and pull. You're a load."
"Also, Rail, where are you two going to?" asked Silk before jumping down from the wagon and positioning himself behind a rudimentary pole that functioned as a way of pulling the cart.
A bit rustic... but I don't mind.
"Dodge," answered Rail, enthusiastic. He grinned for a moment before directing his gaze towards the sands once again.
That's... not... "But—"
"Yes, now let's go! We still have some time left!" shouted Hoarfrost before hopping forward, pushing the cart with surprising strength for a mare of her size.
"As you say, Frost!" replied Rail before starting to canter once again.
Silk spoke up nervously. "W-wait, I don't want to go there...! I'm supposed to—"
"I don't care, now go! Wither you go with us or we leave you here in the desert! Now stay quiet and pull."
I regained my consciousness slowly. The passing of time was more of an intermittent condition, and I oftentimes felt static. In front of my open eyes, a never-ending black void. A loud rumble in the distance, the feeling of my numb body... and her voice.
"You've faded again? Weak."
My body slowly started to feel a cold, penetrating wing running furiously from my back. Sound faded away slowly, coming back in almost hypnotic pulses. It reached a point where my mind continued the pulse once all sound has stopped.
"Answer me." Her voice acquired a strong, severe tone. I almost felt physical pain in root of the strength. The wind suddenly blasted with much more force, the unbearable cold sticking to my bones, a sharp pain presenting itself once it reached my very core.
My voice, which I hadn't tried to force out, would be impossible to make out, as if I were just unable to articulate a sound. Floating in that desolated darkness, I couldn't feel myself, like I was a third person that only shared feelings with that person I called "myself."
I had no thoughts to speak of. My senses indicated that, indeed, time has been passing and still did, but it was more like I had been disconnected and I could just stare into someone else, my mind adrift.
"I said answer me." The voice somehow managed to become even more severe. I felt fear, dread. I felt myself being chased and threatened.
Why am I still here? Why haven't I recovered? My thoughts had come back, but nothing else did, and nothing made sense, then.
"Make an effort. I'm really starting to believe this is nothing but a waste of time. Wake up."
Am I not awake?
I heard a groan before feeling a strong hit to my cheek. A hard, but not cold, object struck me. The wind stopped in the instant, the cold sensation being replaced by sharp pain in my left cheek.
"You better be now."
My mind, as opposed to what I expected, was in calm and didn't question much: why do you keep appearing? This is real life. I don't want to hallucinate anymore, I can't do it.
Her laughter appeared not too far away from me. Its sheer intensity and honesty struck me and made my heart jump. That was the last kind of laughter I wanted to hear and probably the last one I'd ever hear. Without thinking about it twice, I jumped out of my spot and tried to escape with as much speed as I could. The sickness, heat and pain of fever would be nothing but secondary factors once I managed to start my scurry.
As soon as I managed to connect to the ground, I noted that nothing was like how I visioned it to be. The darkness of the moment itself played a very important role, but even that was nothing but a detail when I noticed something else: the floor gave out a loud crack before giving in beneath me. An impossibly high amount of splinters scraped against me, tearing shreds of my skin off. I felt my blood run down my arms, its red tonality being the only thing that, in the middle of darkness, could be seen. There it was, in front of me: a crescent pool of my own blood, trickles of the fluid appearing from mid-air. The same gelid wind as before appeared out of a sudden, the little bloodstain flying through the air just a second later. The open wounds of my arms froze, the cold stab of ice burrowing deep into my being, together with the feeling of them rupturing inside of me.
This can't be real, I shouted and pleaded in my mind. It was so little, but it was more than enough; I didn't want to continue with it.
"Say it." The voice came from right behind me, and sounded nothing like a normal voice. It was full of confused ire, raspy and insecure. "Say it and I'll end it."
I advanced forward in the dark. It was something so simple by then. In that moment, I wished I could see what was going to happen to me.
A cold chuckle was the only answered I received before a soft light reached my eyes.
Open drawers and papers scattered around with no pattern whatsoever. A door opened in the hallway, far from me. A voice I had never heard said something I couldn't comprehend. The starry sky outside the only window wasn't enough to light the room and see what was going on. A loud stomp against a floor, the light disappearing. A strangely familiar sound served as an aperture for the mute sound of something being hit. Gurgles followed, a warm sensation in my hands. In-between the silence, nothing but the sound of agitated bubbles, lowering in volume up until the point where it disappeared completely. A long silence followed, before a voice suddenly spoke up.
"You can't escape your past."
It sounded familiar but I couldn't begin to imagine the situation that would prompt the usage of such a phrase.
A distant macabre laugh reached my ears. A mixture of repulsion and curiosity took over my mind. In my body, a heat that made me disintegrate. The silence reigned once again after a few moments and the cold came back, even when not nearly as strong as before. A sigh and a deep breath. The sound of a door opening. A hit against the wall, an object being thrown. A tiny spurt of blood passing through a tiny ray of moonlight. The sound of drawers being forced open, papers being bent and ruffled. Then, nothing. A grunt and more steps over the wood. Sweat in my hands and forehead.
"Don't act so innocent. I know who you are and what you've done. I can see it all right now. It's all happening right now."
A clock sounded in the distance. Seconds seemed to pass more and more slowly with each new one. An inexplicable desperation bloomed inside me. Claustrophobia took its place in my mind. Alone in the room, the darkness was made of a thousand eyes that watched every single movement. The crunch of wood beneath me. I still wasn't alone. A torrent of incomprehensible voices spoke to my ear. My hair was an exhibition of guilt, which I tried to rip apart from me. The pain that came from the act was the pain of those who I had wronged being reflected. Severe regret of those acts I never thought I'd commit. The pain rose, reaching a level where I couldn't even scream. My blood boiled with every new step, every new second another judgement placed over my head. Pain, loneliness, sadness. My eyes were on the verge of popping right out of their sockets, the dim shadows in front of me stabbing my mind with the indomitable fury of a misjudged innocent. I become insignificant beneath the gaze of a thousand watchers.
The door in front of me was the escape of all the suffering that judgement had put over me. It called my name in a soft voice; it made me approach it without noticing.
A thunderclap ended that episode. My agitated breathing served as ambient noise as I tried to calm down. The darkness in front of me didn't seem menacing anymore, at least in my eyes. The silence was warm, in a way, almost like an inaudible voice repeated that it was all over to my ear.
I raised my hands in the air, as far as I could reach. My right hand hit something.
"How was it, your little vision?" she asked. Of course it would be her. "Surrender and it'll be easier on you."
Surrender to what and why?
"Open your eyes and notice you can't continue escaping what you've done." Her voice sounded both irritated and caring, nothing like the cold tyrant she really was. She sounded almost like a furious mother.
I... I don't understand. What was that all about?
"You remember who I am, right?" she asked. "That is your past, the one that you refuse to accept as yours, and it's time to face it. There won't be any more chances." The sheer bitterness and aggression on her voice, even when it wasn't loud, made me flinch.
Who are you? My mind, once again, begged for an answer.
"Who do you think I am?"
N-Nightmare.
"Ah, you have reached that point. Wake up, Silk. Wake up and face reality."
W-who?
"Time to go, Silk Thread. Your figments in this world will never help you."
What am I even talking about?
Her voice became louder, shouting at me. "It's all lies, Silk. This world isn't real. This is nothing but a product of your mind!"
Her words sounded so real, so... honest. I couldn't bring myself to believe her, however. I would never give in when it came to my hallucinations. I would never lose a fight against my own mind, not against myself.
"Move for once, for goodness sake!"
A second voice appeared. The shouting of Nightmare played over and over in my head. Not... real. Not real.